STMs: "I'm so glad I..."

skelly70

Okay, ST+ moms! We're getting into the "thick" of pregnancy (see what I did there), and it might be a good time to share some advice-not-advice with everyone. 

In your previous pregnancy or pregnancies, what were some things you learned along the way that might make someone's life a little easier? What are you making sure to do (or do differently) this time around?

Edit: removed an extra word. I'm struggling tonight. 

AMC0603

I'm making sure I avoid buying ANY Oreos. My pregnant self will eat the entire pack. On a more serious note, I am trying to enjoy this pregnancy more. My first pregnancy I lived for Dr's appointments so I would know how my DD was. I was constantly worrying about things that were out of my control. This pregnancy I'm trying to slow down and just enjoy being pregnant. 

sully1109

I am exercising 3-4 times a week. With my first I was 25 lbs heavier than I am now and really gained too much and didn't really exercise. I think it will help with labor and post partum. Plus it really makes me feel good when I workout. 

Edited because I pushed post before I finished my sentence. 

cm716

I'm so glad i...lowered my standards. This is my third pregnancy. My house is far from spotless, my kids eat spaghettios and chicken nuggets sometimes, I'm almost never on time, and occasionally i have to bail on commitments i have previously made.

but you know what? I am growing a freaking person whether you know about it or not and it is hard work.

Cut yourself some slack because your babies are most important. Pregnancy is not the time to strive for perfection.

haboobjob

cm716 said:

I'm so glad i...lowered my standards. This is my third pregnancy. My house is far from spotless, my kids eat spaghettios and chicken nuggets sometimes, I'm almost never on time, and occasionally i have to bail on commitments i have previously made.

but you know what? I am growing a freaking person whether you know about it or not and it is hard work.

Cut yourself some slack because your babies are most important. Pregnancy is not the time to strive for perfection.

I needed this reminder tonight! I've been sick with the flu and DH is out of town so frozen pizza and Dino nuggets have been on the menu this week. I was feeling a little down and this was everything. Thanks! 

bananers

I'm so glad I went into labor with an open mind. Don't get me wrong - it's okay to have an idea of what you want. But know that birth rarely goes how you expect it to, and the people I know who felt the worst about their experience afterward are the ones who had this perfect, magical experience in mind with every last detail planned out. In the end, what's important is a healthy baby, and not how they entered this world. 

kattyleigh

Stop focusing on your birth plan. Just stop. It's going to happen how it happens not how you plan it to. Instead, focus more on learning how to breastfeed (if that's your goal). Childbirth is over in a day. Breastfeeding is extremely difficult for many people, and consumes more of you physically and emotionally that you can imagine for months if not years. Focus on learning more about what happens after you give birth and not the actual birth itself. That baby doesn't come with an instruction manual in his hand ready to go. Your life is about to change in ways you have no idea so start learning about it now. 

ETA: Sorry if I sounds negative. I've actually had two really awesome birth experiences so far....just think the reality of actually having a kid is something people neglect while pregnant and get so overly focused on training for birth. 

bananers

@kattyleigh I totally agree. Kinda like how some brides get so wrapped up in the wedding day that they lose sight of the marriage. 

Duffgurl

Just to know that breastfeeding is not easy. With my first I thought oh this will be a breeze and natural. Nope. I lasted three months and unfortunately could not meet the demands for my DS1. So we did formula and you know what that's ok. Don't beat yourself over having to use formula. Now with my 2nd DS I went in knowing it would be work to BF. It has been. For the first 2months I didn't sleep and did everything to keep my supply up. Water, Eat, Fenugreek and anything else that would help with my milk supply. Had some hard times with milk blisters and just the boobies in pain. I am happy to say I have been EBF DS2  for 11months. So with my ramble...I'm trying to say it's work but well worth it. Although if you just can't do it that's ok too. As long as your LO is being fed. 

texasmama2014

...Didn't have a birth plan- I ended up with the induction and an epidural. Both were necessary and I am so glad I had a great experience regardless!
...Researched breastfeeding enough to know what a nipple shield was, and it truly saved my whole experience.
...Ran my whole pregnancy, labor didn't destroy me like I thought it would and in the end I think I recovered faster!
...Only allowed DH in the delivery room.

bearsandbeets7

This pregnancy what happens, happens. I am a control freak and had the learn the hard way last time to just go with the flow. Stressing over things that you have absolutely no control over is pointless. I stressed so bad over small things that I rushed the pregnancy by and didn't enjoy it. Being pregnant is the easy part, once this baby comes everything changes and doing almost anything becomes twice as hard. Grocery shopping with a toddler, damn near IMPOSSIBLE. 

pelorunningmama

-Exercising throughout. I really think it helped my recovery. Even though I don't feel like it a lot of days, I'm making myself exercise 5 days a week.
-I got a Bellefit girdle to wear after I got home from the hospital. It sounds crazy, but I felt so much more supported in the days after birth and my pre-pregnancy clothes fit really quick.
-Breastfeeding is difficult for some, but, please don't hate me for this, great for others. It's awkward and the "letdown" can be really painful, but I had a wonderful breastfeeding experience with DD. However, I realize this go round could be much different. I will not beat myself up if it does not go as well. Not putting pressure on yourself if things don't go as planned is key.
-Have a plan for after baby gets here if you have overwhelming in-laws. I do. I did not have a plan last time. This time, they will not be staying at my house witnessing my meltdowns when my boobs swell to watermelon size and my emotions are out of control. Hotels are your friends. Tell them they can bring dinner or clean if they want to help. Boundaries!
-Enjoy the pregnancy as much as you can. If you are on the fence about maternity photos, do them. I didn't last time b/c I didn't think it was necessary and actually have hardly any photos of me pregnant with DD. This makes me sad now. 

lmtrmama

I am trying to not worry about the weight gain so much. Last time I would splurge and then feel so guilty. The nights before my dr appts I would eat grapefruit and a ton of ice water so that I would not weigh so much in the morning. I cried when I felt myself getting bigger. I think it's so silly. As long as you don't gain way too much, the weight comes off! This time I'm trying to be healthier and more active and think of it as doing something for my baby. I had fruit instead of a pop tart this morning for my baby. Worrying about stuff is just a waste of time, plus in my case 99% of the things I worried about never came true!

Bookhousegirl

@texasmama2014 Nipple shield, YES! They warned me against it in the hospital, and so I didn't use it for the first week and I was TORTURED. Once I started with it, breastfeeding became so much more tolerable. After a month or so I stopped using it because my nipples had toughened up and it was completely fine. I will add though, DS had a ridiculously intense sucking strength and so it didn't matter how well I positioned/latched him, it was going to be painful.

I wish someone had warned me more about the emotional roller coaster that happens in the 72 hrs after birth. It's totally normal to cry and feel overwhelmed and anxious about what comes next. I thought it would all be just good feelings and adreneline once the baby came, but those hormones are working overtime to balance you back out and it isn't a pretty process. I remember sitting in the hospital bed the night after I gave birth and just balling my eyes out, for no reason in particular. After the first few days it got so much better, but it's important to talk about it and not try to keep it together all the time. 

HeyStVincent

I have some advice for postpartum life.  It was really hard for me to adjust because I was so used to being able to do everything. I had to accept that I needed to let go and some things just weren't going to be perfect. That's not to say you let yourself go or you let your house go or whatever. You just have to prioritize the things that are most important at that moment and let the other things wait. For me, sleep became a huge priority. In order to sleep, work, and finish school I had to recognize that the dishes sometimes are going to pile up. Laundry? HA!  My floors? Never clean again. And it's all actually OK. 

Also, don't forget to take care of yourself. I think it took me five months to get a hair cut and color after having my daughter (thank God the hombre is a thing).  That won't be happening again. And maybe hair isn't your thing (like it is my thing - there is nothing better than a new cut and color in my opinion). My point is to make it a priority to set some time aside for something that makes you feel human again.

Oh, and don't forget date night. Find a good babysitter. Those first date nights (where I got to drink wine and eat whatever the hell I wanted to) were FANTASTIC.

HeyStVincent

Bookhousegirl said:

@texasmama2014 Nipple shield, YES! They warned me against it in the hospital, and so I didn't use it for the first week and I was TORTURED. Once I started with it, breastfeeding became so much more tolerable. After a month or so I stopped using it because my nipples had toughened up and it was completely fine. I will add though, DS had a ridiculously intense sucking strength and so it didn't matter how well I positioned/latched him, it was going to be painful.

I wish someone had warned me more about the emotional roller coaster that happens in the 72 hrs after birth. It's totally normal to cry and feel overwhelmed and anxious about what comes next. I thought it would all be just good feelings and adreneline once the baby came, but those hormones are working overtime to balance you back out and it isn't a pretty process. I remember sitting in the hospital bed the night after I gave birth and just balling my eyes out, for no reason in particular. After the first few days it got so much better, but it's important to talk about it and not try to keep it together all the time. 

So much of this!! Let me tell you, the baby blues are a REAL thing and it can last up to three weeks postpartum (any longer than that and you start to consider the possibility of postpartum depression). It's partly hormones, partly sleep deprivation, partly physical exhaustion from giving birth, and partly the HUGE shakeup you've been through with respect to a role change.  You're trying to adjust to your new life and your new routine with this new baby (who needs you CONSTANTLY) and it's tough! Tears are normal. You may also find yourself so annoyed with your husband and everyone else around who is trying to help. It's all normal. If it last longer than a few weeks though, it's a good idea to talk to your PCP or OB about your feelings.

amandazap

PP's are all spot on! Birth plans make you weak. I know because I thought I knew what was going to happen. Then I had an emergency c-section and it was traumatic. I firmly believe if I would have just had an open mind about birthing, it would have made it a little smoother of a transition from natural to OR. 

ginger819

As others said I'm glad I went in with no set birth plan. I knew it would be my Dr. and I trusted her and the nurses. I went in thinking I would love to do a natural birth, but that if I felt the need for an epidural I wouldn't hesitate to get it. I told people who asked that at the point that it sounded like a good idea to stick a needle into my spine I'm probably in enough pain to warrant it (I'm also terrified of needles). I hit that point at 4 hours in and have no regrets about getting it (I finally got some sleep and comfort) or for being induced as I was a week overdue. I think making a set plan with no flexibility is setting yourself up to be upset about your birth story. Mine wasn't perfect DDs cord was rapped around her neck and her vitals would drop and the nurses would come running in to help me roll to the other side to try and get it to loosen up. There were about three times I thought for sure I was going to end up having an emergency c section and you know what had that happened I would still have thought I had a great birth story because my only set goal was to have a healthy baby. 

texasmama2014

@Bookhousegirl I used one for 6 months.  Then, one day, she latched without, and we haven't used one since.  20 months and going strong!  My pediatrician was very disappointed when I told him I used one, he asked where I got it. I told him my mom bought it at Walmart.  Apparently, if a nurse had given it to me she would have gotten in trouble.  He told me she would have trouble getting the endmilk and that she would have trouble gaining weight.  Right after than he put her on the scale and after 2 days she was back up to her birth weight.  One week later she had gained a pound.  He never mentioned the nipple shield again!

ThisisNumber3

- I'm very happy with the nursery colors that I picked and that its somewhat gender neutral enough that we have had both boys and girls in there.  

- For our first we picked out some great quality gender neutral gear but also weren't afraid to buy used.  You can save a ton of money!  Most pregnancy and baby stuff is used for 6 months tops. 

bearsandbeets7

ThisisNumber3 said:

- I'm very happy with the nursery colors that I picked and that its somewhat gender neutral enough that we have had both boys and girls in there.  

- For our first we picked out some great quality gender neutral gear but also weren't afraid to buy used.  You can save a ton of money!  Most pregnancy and baby stuff is used for 6 months tops. 

This! I was so dead set on buying everything new that we ended up wasting a ton of money! My swing, bouncer, ECT will be used this time. Also gender neutral is great on some of the pricier purchases such as car seat stroller ECT. We are reusing our infant seat this time. 

@Bookhousegirl thank you for reminding me of this! I think I blocked that out. The first 48 hours post birth I would be shivering cold and then 2 seconds later I would be pouring sweat. And I cried at least 5 times a day for the first week. 

ThisisNumber3

I used to think, no big deal I dont mind going 2 days without showering.   But I didn't realize that the PP hormones would have me sweating like crazy and be so greasy all the time! 

ebilbao

This is a really good idea for a thread.

I am so glad-
---I am calmer and less worried this pregnancy.
---I learned to let go. I swore I would be the mother who would lose all her preggo weight right away and would have an immaculate house and would eat only organic and not use a pacifier. The pacifier idea went out the window on night 2. The rest took me almost a year to get over. I am not the person I was before I became a mother. I am totally different. My priorities have shifted. My time is the most precious thing I have, so I try to dedicate as much as I can to my son, but also have to protect the time I take for myself. In my experience, no one has offered to give me time to myself. I have had to take it. That means maybe not cleaning up and exercising instead. That means asking my husband to make dinner or get up early with the baby. You have to speak up. 

kattyleigh

Formula won't kill your baby. If your baby has jaundice at birth (super common) you'll most likely have to supplement until your milk comes in. Seriously no biggie.  Better this than cause brain damage in your kid with untreated jaundice...

Pacifiers do not cause nipple confusion. Babies have an instinct to suck and it will naturally soothe and calm them. 

skelly70

The advice here is so good, and even as a STM, it's helpful to read it and remember that it's good to breathe and let go. 

A few things to add:

1. Padsicles. The nurses at the hospital showed me how to cut open a diaper and stuff it with ice, then lay Tucks pads on the top (the part that will go against your skin). It saved my life/crotch in the first couple of days after giving birth, when I pretty much felt like I'd been hit by a train. 
2. Find out if your hospital has lactation services. I was able to get free lactation consultations for weeks after DS was born. They'd weigh him before and after a session, check his latch, give suggestions for positioning, etc. La Leche League also has great resources. 
3. I had to learn to let go, but I also had to learn to stick to my guns. There are some things that DH and I decided together that we have fought to do/maintain, especially because we have a very different parenting style from his siblings. We are careful about TV, and DS doesn't get handheld electronic devices. We like to read and get outside. Experiences are more valuable than toys. Manners are important. It can be hard to insist on our family values without coming off as demeaning toward family that believes the opposite. DH and I have grown together as parents because we've had to decide what "hills to die on." 
4. A girlfriend turned me on to this massive consignment sale that happens twice a year in my area. They have them around the country. It is AMAZING for deals on used kid stuff. The one I like is called Just Between Friends (it's all over Facebook). 

Curls919

kattyleigh said:

Formula won't kill your baby. If your baby has jaundice at birth (super common) you'll most likely have to supplement until your milk comes in. Seriously no biggie.  Better this than cause brain damage in your kid with untreated jaundice...

Yup!  DS had jaundice and low blood sugar due to a bad latch (he was 3 1/2 weeks early and needed time to grow and catch up). We supplemented with formula from night #2 until 6 weeks. I went on to nurse for 15 months. I am very proud of how long I was able to nurse. I don't judge people for nursing or not nursing so even though we did give formula in the beginning I was still a proud breastfeeding mama. 

mrsmommya

I am so glad I kept everything from DD.  Even though this baby is a girl too, it is nice to not have to buy barely anything.  Also soooo glad I left DD come when she was ready.  There were a lot of women pregnant at the same time back then and many went before 39w.....I was pregnant till 41w.  I wanted her out so badly, but let nature take its course and my labor was amazing!  It was easy, painless, and recovery was basically nothing except my uterus shrinking.  This time I will be sure to do the same.

ElizabethM30

- if you have blocked ducts find a good physiotherapist. 5-10 minutes of therapeutic ultrasound will break those suckers up
-go see a pelvic floor PT about 8 weeks post delivery. They will check your recovery and give you exercises to improve your recovery
- If you have time, try to stop and eat food on way to hospital. You can't eat during labour and I was starving the whole day
-it's okay to restrict visitors when you come home from hospital. If you are soft ask your husband to be the gate keeper 

hannahh18

I wish I would have educated myself on breastfeeding more... Specifically the first few days. In the hospital they PUSH YOU to do formula because it's "best for your baby". No no no... Your body KNOWS what is best for your baby. There is a reason your milk takes a few days to come in. Baby will be just fine and you are doing a wonderful job feeding that baby. Also know it will hurt the first few days so plan on having someone there who will support you to breastfeed when you feel like you can't because of the pain (my mom helped so much)

sorry if this sounds negative I was just pushed by so many nurses to give formula a try. 

ThisisNumber3

hannahh18 said:

I wish I would have educated myself on breastfeeding more... Specifically the first few days. In the hospital they PUSH YOU to do formula because it's "best for your baby". No no no... Your body KNOWS what is best for your baby. There is a reason your milk takes a few days to come in. Baby will be just fine and you are doing a wonderful job feeding that baby. Also know it will hurt the first few days so plan on having someone there who will support you to breastfeed when you feel like you can't because of the pain (my mom helped so much)

sorry if this sounds negative I was just pushed by so many nurses to give formula a try. 

Wow. Usually you hear the opposite of people being pushed to BF. Finding a good support group with a LC was key

bearsandbeets7

hannahh18 said:

I wish I would have educated myself on breastfeeding more... Specifically the first few days. In the hospital they PUSH YOU to do formula because it's "best for your baby". No no no... Your body KNOWS what is best for your baby. There is a reason your milk takes a few days to come in. Baby will be just fine and you are doing a wonderful job feeding that baby. Also know it will hurt the first few days so plan on having someone there who will support you to breastfeed when you feel like you can't because of the pain (my mom helped so much)

sorry if this sounds negative I was just pushed by so many nurses to give formula a try. 

I can't believe your hospital actually pushed formula! Every person I talk to at my OB and at the hospital all promote breastfeeding. They didn't knock me for my choice to formula feed but they also let me know the benefits of breastfeeding if I had made that choice. I am DEFINITLEY going to attempt to breastfeed this LO.

bananers

The hospital where I had DS1 was very supportive of breastfeeding. They didn't even offer formula and had a lactation consultant come to our room. I'm delivering at a different hospital this time and I hope they are the same way. 

Curious if this may be a regional thing. @hannahh18 where are you?

Curls919

Yes to the "eat before you go to the hospital". Unless you know you're having s C section then eat something. I had a super light dinner and woke up the next day when my water broke. My doc said "I can't tell you to eat something but if you 'happened to eat something before you called me' then there's nothing I could do about it". But as a ftm I got nervous and didn't eat. That was at 6:45am. DS didn't come until 9pm. The doc let me have a granola bar and some lemon ice after they checked me and I wasn't dilated but they weren't happy about it. Next time I'm getting a breakfast sandwich!

Also, pack your hospital bag at 35 weeks. I had everything gathered but not packed when DS came at 36w 3d. I was scrambling to pack everything after my water broke. 

Bookhousegirl

Yes, yes, yes to eating something. I was so hungry half way through my labor and the thought of chicken broth or jello made me sick. I really wish I had grabbed something on my way to the hospital. 

Also, my hospital didn't even mention formula to me and told me to expect the baby to lose weight while we waited for my milk to come in. All the people I know who are in nursing school/just out are taught to push breastfeeding so I'm really surprised that this wasn't the case @hannahh18 ! I hope my new hospital is as supportive as my last!

holdensmama15

This time I'm taking better care of myself along with cutting myself a lot of slack because I have a 13m old son who is constantly running amuck lol...I work out way more than I did in my first pregnancy but I've also been eating a ton of candy (I blame them making me taking a GD test at 12w and passing. I had GD last time and it suuuuucked). I was 160lbs when I got pregnant last time and this time I was 135lbs and in great shape from working out/lifting weights so I'm trying to keep the weight gain slow. So far, I've only put on about 8-9lbs. I think I put on 9lbs in my first MONTH last time.

Sekerambo

I am so glad I questioned what the doctors insisted upon during labor/delivery. Doctors like things to run a certain way and if it is outside of those parameters they insist that this or that needs to be done.  Ask the doctor to leave the room so you have time to discuss and come to your own decision.  The first on call Dr. we had kept trying to force me on pitocin, shortly after getting to the hospital, because he didn't feel my labor was progressing quickly enough. He also told me I wasn't in labor at 6 cm and hard contractions every couple minutes.  By making him leave to discuss we didn't have the pressure while making decisions.  I had my husband relay tell him our decisions outside of the room so I wouldn't stress. In the end I was able to choose how my labor went and didn't walk away with regrets or questions on what could have been.  (The baby was never at risk.)

Yes, Absolutely, with the eating! The average ftm labor is 15 hours so energy is needed!  My labor ended up being 40+ hours and there is no way I would have made it without eating.

Neesey

Pack a bag earlier than you think you'll need it. I raced home to pack when my water broke at 33w5d. 
Eat on the way to the hospital and take some protein shakes for both you and you SO. It's a good quick boost of energy and was easier for me to get down thank broth. 
Have a birth plan but roll with the flow. You may not end up with "your" doctor and the one on call may have drastically different thoughts on things. Be sure your SO knows your thoughts on things too if you are too out of it to make a decision. And don't be afraid to ask for options or even a second opinion if something doesn't feel right. Weigh the options and make choices that are best for you and your baby. 
When people offer to help, be specific on what you need/want. If they truly want to help, they will go buy you colace at the store so you don't have to venture out. Along those lines, if you have a friend or family member who is going to want you to entertain them, cook meals for them or do nothing but hold the baby, set boundaries before letting them come visit. Your job is recovering and taking care of the baby. Someone recommended having a list near the front door of "things we need help with" to make it easy when people ask. It can be easy to forget that you need a load of laundry done or the dishwasher loaded when you are exhausted. 

kattyleigh

bananers said:

The hospital where I had DS1 was very supportive of breastfeeding. They didn't even offer formula and had a lactation consultant come to our room. I'm delivering at a different hospital this time and I hope they are the same way. 

Curious if this may be a regional thing. @hannahh18 where are you?

Yeah this. Unless you're at a hospital that is wayyyyy behind the times, breastfeeding is always encouraged. Pushing formula is NOT the norm unless medically necessary (like jaundice).

smilormarie

Oh my gosh I have so many. I honestly should put it into a document to be pinned to the top of this board. I actually generated a list of 101 things so other parents didn't have to find out too late like we did. A few here:

1. Smear Vaseline all over baby's bottom immediately after birth. As the meconium poops start it will be easily to wipe off that tar/super glue poop paste. A nurse told us the day we were checking out. Thanks lady, we could have used that.
2. Nipple shields!! Sometimes baby's just don't know how to latch. So what? Do whatever it takes. They'll learn and you can slowly wean from a nipple shield if you want (stay away from tommee tippee - I don't know what model they used to create a nipple. So weird).
3. You can say no to visitors. My parents showed up 20 mins after my c section when I was still barely conscious, yellow and puffy, hadn't had a chance to hold the baby yet, and felt so miserable. I had warned everyone ahead of time it would be 3 or 4 pm before they could see me in the maternity room. Nope my parents showed up at ICU /recovery and the nurse just let them in.
4. Crib sheets. So get 3-4 along with 3-4 mattress protectors. Layer them on the crib so when there is a blowout, you can just pull off the dirty set and a clean set is waiting for you. I only make up his crib every 4-6 weeks on average. And you can't find just toddler flat sheets and pillow cases. They either come in a set or you just buy a crib fitted sheet. But I have 4 fitted crib sheets. I just want the matching top sheet. Maybe buy the whole set from the get go. You'll use the flat and pillow case eventually if you decide to do a toddler bed.
5. Don't leave the hospital without the hospital pump. Yes, you might be getting a free pump through insurance. Yes, you might already have one that you loved from your first. It doesn't matter. The hospital pumps are the strongest next to a nursing baby and are more likely to get your milk to come in. At home pumps are fine after your milk supply is established and baby us nursing like a pro. Our hospital had only limited Saturday hours and only for new moms who had just had a baby within a month. We were home a week and I was so disappointed with my at home pump from insurance. It was only doing 10% of what the hospital pump was doing. And I was losing my supply because of it. I sent my hubby back to rent the hospital one and the staff was surprised he knew to show up on a Saturday before noon. They turned away almost everyone else in line and he didn't know why. Later found out they only open there for new moms. Any other time is appt only or you ha e to get it before you are discharged.
6. Most diaper rash creams burn due to the fragrance added. Triple paste is a good one but there are others. Boudreauxs butt paste and the like.

bearsandbeets7

@smilormarie With DD I couldn't use any kind of diaper rash cream on her because they made it worse so her pediatrician prescribed her one and it works wonders! He keeps refills in for us so I can get more when I need it. It's a really generic topical creme that is used for a ton of things ranging from baby's to geriatric patients. 

NICU RN

- Take care of yourself. Consider taking a day or two at home with no visitors to rest.
- Nursing was HARD. I knew it wasn't easy, but I taught other mamas how to breastfeed as part of my job, so I was surprised by the difficulties we had. It took a lot of time and visits to an LC. A nipple shield helped my son a ton in learning to latch.
- Make sure DH knows what you want so he can go to bat for you. He can kick people out of the delivery room and help you stand by what you want when your resolve weakens. I wanted natural childbirth and I told my husband that unless I specifically told him, that I did not want a nurse or visitor to sway me. When it got bad I started saying "I want one" and he said "look me in the eyes and tell me it's what you really want". I couldn't. So that gave me the strength to know I really didn't want one. 
- Try to enjoy it, but remember it is okay to not enjoy every minute. I felt really guilty that because of breastfeeding stress, a fussy baby, and sleep deprivation I didn't really feel like I was "savoring" those newborn days as much as I should. Looking back, though, I did enjoy that time and it is okay that I didn't love every single minute.