Weekly check in 2/15

twomommiestobe

Let's get caught up and talk about the upcoming week! 

@twomommiestobe ;
@vnegron87 
@beanie1977
@blakelya
@clairelosc
@angelicac06
@fsbc

@vl2016
@twochickshavinachick
@retropetro


Anyone is free to join in and participate! If anyone you know might want to be active, feel free to tag them as well.

Copy and paste the following questions so we can get to know each other better! 


Status: (ttc, waiting/benched, pregnant, parent)

What is happening this week? 

Any lgbt questions, advice, problems, etc? 

Gtky: What is your favorite TV show currently on TV right now?  

twomommiestobe

Status: (ttc, waiting/benched, pregnant, parent) 
Ttc- we are nearing the end of our first ivf cycle 

What is happening this week? 
We will have our beta test 2/19! For some reason, I have gotten off of the optimistic train and just have this feeling it didn't work. Not sure why! 

Any lgbt questions, advice, problems, etc? 
For those of you who use (or used) sperms from a bank, how do you plan on explaining that to your younger kids? 

Gtky: What is your favorite TV show currently on TV right now?
Walking Dead! It isn't my usual genre, but I am hooked lol

Noellee2005

Status: (ttc, waiting/benched, pregnant, parent)  V and I are currently TTC.

What is happening this week?  We expect V will ovulate this week, and we'll try our second IUI. 

Any lgbt questions, advice, problems, etc?  @twomommiestobe We have a book called "What Makes A Family."  What we like about it is that it celebrates all kinds of families. We think the author does a nice job explaining the "ingredients" needed to create a baby but places more emphasis on the family waiting with love and anticipation for the young reader.  Anyone who reads it would be able to relate to it, and V and I think it will make a great conversation-starter about how we created our family.

Gtky: What is your favorite TV show currently on TV right now? Hmmm, this is a toughie, because I like TV a lot.  Some of the shows I like are embarrassing, so I'll go with one that isn't.  Law & Order: SVU is definitely a weekly favorite in our house!

twomommiestobe

@VL2016 keep us updated! At least you know what to expect this time aroynd, so that should alleviate some of the stress  
And I'm going to look for that book! 

retropetro

Status: (ttc, waiting/benched, pregnant, parent)
Waiting on results from the PGS/PGD
What is happening this week? 
NOTHING and there is nothing worse than just waiting...
Any lgbt questions, advice, problems, etc? 
@VL2016 - Would you mind telling me the author of the book? Sounds like something that really might be fun and useful!! 

Do you ever get scared of all the things you don't know yet but feel like you should? I never even thought of how we were going to explain a donor to smaller kids and that feels like an obvious one...

Gtky: What is your favorite TV show currently on TV right now? 
I'm bingeing on Lie to Me right now.  I keep trying to get into The Walking Dead and Game of Thrones but I just can't for some reason.  I'm a Sherlock/Doctor Who fan   

Blakelya

Status: (ttc, waiting/benched, pregnant, parent) 
Ttc- just heading into stimulation/retrieval phase of IVF

What is happening this week? 
We stopped in at the RE's office this morning to sign final consents and have a little medication tutorial with our IVF coordinator. Scan on Weds and as long as everything is in order, we'll be starting injections on Thursday!

Any lgbt questions, advice, problems, etc? 
@twomommiestobe I'm the open conversation former sex-ed teacher in our house, so I anticipate it will always just be a known thing. Our donor is anonymous, but we'll have what we know about him to share with them as they grow into that curious age.

Gtky: What is your favorite TV show currently on TV right now?
Eeek, that one depends on the day. My work world is pretty intense sometimes, so I like to chill out with some garbage TV a lot. We finally started How to Get Away With Murder on Netflix last night, so I'm sure that'll be the one I'm raving about for a while.

twomommiestobe

@retropetro take this time to relax and spends time together.  It will go by so fast!! 

@Blakelya  Were you doing a fresh transfer or also doing testing. I forgot  

Blakelya

twomommiestobe said:

@Blakelya  Were you doing a fresh transfer or also doing testing. I forgot  

Neither actually. Our doc is recommending frozen transfer, so we're retrieving and then freezing with a tentative thaw/transfer date set at the end of March. I really wanted to do the testing, but it just wasn't financially feasible and we don't fall into any of the categories where it's strongly recommended so we're winging it! Hurry up, wait, hurry up, wait, repeat x infinity...

twomommiestobe

@Blakelya ahhh! The waiting is intense. Our DR wanted to do frozen, but since my cycle synced up perfectly, we went ahead with the fresh. 

Blakelya

twomommiestobe said:

@Blakelya ahhh! The waiting is intense. Our DR wanted to do frozen, but since my cycle synced up perfectly, we went ahead with the fresh. 

Yeah, sounds like there's some promising research for freezing, but if it times out just right, why wait?? I'm so hyper-focused on just getting some eggs and promising embryos here; I haven't even considered how unbearably long that month is going to feel!

Noellee2005

@twomommiestobe @retropetro Here is a link to the above-mentioned book on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1609804856/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1455577999&sr=8-1&pi=SX200_QL40&keywords=cory+silverberg

My apologies, it is actually called "What Makes A Baby."

Twochickshavinachick

Status: parenting and waiting to ttc

What's happening this week? Another week, another pound down. All that's left on the ttc front is getting myself down to a good starting weight. Little S is  doing well, weight wise too. She's been hovering just over the 9th since birth and we've been pulled up on it a couple times. I've told them it's a family pattern - my sister and I were both slow to put on weight and she is very active (she doesn't really crawl at all anymore and likes to live life in the fast lane) But even though I know she's eating well (three meals plus snacks a day and b-fing 3 times a day too!) and she has consistent weight gain, I still feel awful when they make a point of where she is on the "healthy weight" scale. Now she is officially 'almost average' weight

GTKY: Elementary. As a Brit, I feel like I'm letting the team down but I have to admit that the American Sherlock is better.

Hope all is well and everyone having a good week.

twomommiestobe

@Twochickshavinachick after you get to your goal weight, hoe will yall try? 

Thanks! @VL2016

@Blakelyathe results are usually a little higher for a frozen bc the body has had time to rest from the stims/retrieval. For me, my body was rested and ready! 

Twochickshavinachick

twomommiestobe said:

@Twochickshavinachick after you get to your goal weight, hoe will yall try? 

Not so much a goal weight as getting weight down during wait for 1st attempt in April. My current BMI is not entirely unreasonable - I'd just prefer it lower bc I already have diabetes risk factors w/out weight adding to it.
 We're going the same route as with S (with the same donor so they will be full siblings)
Because I'm still young (31 in April) and in great health, we're starting out nice and relaxed with at home AI.

retropetro

@VL2016 Thanks for posting the link!
@Twochickshavinachick oooh I loved Elementary!
@twomommiestobe If this round isn't successful, will you wait out a cycle or jump into the next immediately?

So I have a question for everyone, who all are using anonymous donors and who all are using ID disclosure donors?  Why did you decide to go this route?

twomommiestobe

retropetro said:

@VL2016 Thanks for posting the link!
@Twochickshavinachick oooh I loved Elementary!
@twomommiestobe If this round isn't successful, will you wait out a cycle or jump into the next immediately?

So I have a question for everyone, who all are using anonymous donors and who all are using ID disclosure donors?  Why did you decide to go this route?

It really just depends on finances for us. If we can cone up with the money in time, we will try immediately.

We went with anonymous. We are treating this solely as a matter of science, not personal. He is not the father or dad and we will never refer to it as that. He will not be in their life day to day. There is no need for a "relationship" later. We have all of the medical info, so no need to contact. Since we plan on adopting later as well, we will have the family motto of we are family, no matter how we got here. The adopted children will be the exact same to us, because genetics don't matter in our family. 

retropetro

@twomommiestobe We chose to go with an Open ID but to approach the situation in a very similar way.  I don't ever want to imply to the kid that they might be missing something in their family.  But because I have no idea how they will view the situation in 18-20 years time, it just eliminated the worry for me that they will feel unable to pursue information on their own.   

twomommiestobe

@retropetro it was even easier for us because when we found the perfect donor for us, it was anonymous only anyways. 

retropetro

@twomommiestobe when you find the perfect one, the rest just falls into place! (In case no one has noticed, I'm really into these little emoji options !)

Blakelya

twomommiestobe said:

@retropetro it was even easier for us because when we found the perfect donor for us, it was anonymous only anyways. 

That was the case for us as well. I think it's natural for them to be curious about that half of their genes, so we'll leave them open to the information we have, but I anticipate in our house it will always be known in that "science" way. We entertained the idea, but were never sincerely interested in a known donor option. We're the parents, why do we need an extra dude in the mix?

twomommiestobe

I never met my biological "father". He was never my dad, the man who married my mom when I was 5 and raised me was my only dad. So I guess, I sort of understand looking at it in the "science" sense bc I was raised by a stepdad.  

Noellee2005

retropetro said:

@twomommiestobe We chose to go with an Open ID but to approach the situation in a very similar way.  I don't ever want to imply to the kid that they might be missing something in their family.  But because I have no idea how they will view the situation in 18-20 years time, it just eliminated the worry for me that they will feel unable to pursue information on their own.   

That's exactly what V and I decided.

retropetro

We just got our last report from the embryologist 13 excellent/good embryos!!

Noellee2005

That's great news, @retropetro !

claireloSC

Status: (ttc, waiting/benched, pregnant, parent)
Parent

What is happening this week? 
My baby girl is a week old today! Adjusting back home has been hard as I had a very difficult delivery and I'm going to be recovering for a while. My stitches burst so it's all very painful and my mobility has been limited.

Any lgbt questions, advice, problems, etc? 
We conceived with an open donor (she can meet him when she's 18) using IUI. PM me if you need advice on it! It took us a year to conceive. Also the J16 moms had a same-sex moms thread - there's some other lgbt moms there too.  https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12575317/any-other-same-sex-moms-on-here

Gtky: What is your favorite TV show currently on TV right now?  
The Magicians on SyFy based on the Lev Grossman novels

ETA @retropetro We wanted her to be able to choose to get the information. We're both pretty curious and figured we would want the information.  This way she has options and we support whichever choice she would make. 

retropetro

@claireloSC Congratulations on the birth of your baby girl!! Thanks for the link to the other discussions  

claireloSC

Thank you!

twomommiestobe

We got our bfp today!!! Our ivf was a success  

Twochickshavinachick

Awesome! Best wishes for a happy, healthy pregnancy

Noellee2005

Congratulations, @twomommiestobe that is fantastic news!

retropetro

Congratulations @twomommiestobe !!!! That's awesome  

FSBC

Status: (ttc, waiting/benched, pregnant, parent) Parent

What is happening this week? Today our sweet boy turns 7 months. 

Any lgbt questions, advice, problems, etc? Wish we had more LGBT friends

Gtky: What is your favorite TV show currently on TV right now?  big bang and the people vs OJ... we dont really watch tv much so we record OJ and watch pieces when we can.

twomommiestobe

@FSBC we don't really have ANY lgbt friends Lol 

Noellee2005

Most of our friends are straight, too!  Too bad everyone in this group doesn't all live in one area.  

retropetro

Us three, 99% of our friends are straight (and having tons of super easy to conceive kids!)

Blakelya

Yep, here too, straight straight straight all around. My BFF is bi...but not exactly practicing both sides of the fence. Haha

FirePoppy

Too funny--similarly, our friends are about half straight and half gay male, but we have no lesbian friends! My best friend is ttc with her husband at the same time (like, we ovulate on the same day--crazy!), so I end up relating to/mutually supporting her rather than our lgbt friends anyway. 

Has anyone had any success finding local lgbt parenting groups? I'd love to start join one or start one, but not sure how to go about it (i'm in LA). 

Noellee2005

FirePoppy said:

Has anyone had any success finding local lgbt parenting groups? I'd love to start join one or start one, but not sure how to go about it (i'm in LA). 

I haven't actually looked for any local LGBT parenting groups, but I don't think I would have any trouble finding something like that.  I think there are a lot of these types of groups on FB, but I would hesitate to join/"like" anything like that at this point in time because my wife and I aren't really advertising that we're TTC.

twomommiestobe

I've tried to find a group, but haven't found one.  

retropetro

FirePoppy said:

I haven't actually looked for any local LGBT parenting groups, but I don't think I would have any trouble finding something like that.  I think there are a lot of these types of groups on FB, but I would hesitate to join/"like" anything like that at this point in time because my wife and I aren't really advertising that we're TTC.

That's where we are as well. I'd rather not open us up for questions from our extended group until we are past the questionable stage.

FSBC

@Blakelya - you made me LOL