Baby Showers

Shower Menu drama - need advice/opinions

So, my mom is planning my shower, with input from my MIL. My mom is doing all of the work, and the shower will be in my hometown. My DH's family is mostly driving in that day from approximately 2 hours away. The shower is being held from 1pm - 4pm and my mom was planning to do sandwiches (build your own-- chicken salad, turkey, ham), a green salad, veggie tray, meatballs in a crockpot, chips, cake, etc. My MIL is APPALLED that my mom is expecting people to drive two hours to eat sandwiches. She thinks that we need to serve a hot meal (she suggested we get italian dishes from Olive Garden). The problem with that is a)there will likely be 50 people at this shower - all family, women and men; b) it's being held at a mansion/library that you rent but must bring all of your own stuff so we'd have to rent chafing dishes and all that; c)we live in a small town, and there aren't really any good catering options.

Do you think that it's unreasonable to serve sandwiches/appetizers/dessert to people driving 2 hours to your shower? 
I didn't want to be involved, but my mom is really upset about this. I told her I didn't see anything wrong with the menu, but my MIL is still harping on it. Thoughts?

Re: Shower Menu drama - need advice/opinions

  • The golden rule of hosting is to anticipate the needs of one's guests. So if I were hosting a 1:00 shower for which I would have a lot of guests on the road since 11 am, then I would certainly be offering hearty fare. Not that it would have to be Olive Garden, but yeah, a full lunch would be in order. But I'm not the one hositng your shower, and it sounds like neither is your MIL, so in reality, I would just leave the menu to your mom.
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  • I don't think it's unreasonable.  The only concern i would have is that the guests will have enough to eat and will not go hungry.  So just make sure there is more than enough food for everyone (and consider that people are coming from 2 hours they'll be pretty hungry).
  • If people were gonig to travelling 2 hours to a shower I was throwing I would serve a full meal even if it wasn't at a meal time. That being said, it is no one's business to insist anyone change their menu. 
  • Thanks everyone. I thought that sandwiches and sides did constitute a meal, but maybe that's just Pennsylvania :)
  • I think sandwiches and sides definitely constitutes a meal. I've traveled two hours away for family get together and received less than that. If your MIL isn't willing to pitch in and pay for the upgraded meal, I don't see any problem with the existing meal plan. 
  • Yeah, sandwiches, sides and cake is a full lunch meal.  It's not a fancy catered hot lunch but you don't show up to a shower for the food, you show up to a shower to celebrate with the Mother-to-be.  I agree, if your MIL is feeling that put out by the food choices, then she is more than welcome to throw her own that is closer to home and have whatever food she wants to have.  
  • What you have listed is considered a full meal to me. If you would have said a few appetizers, and I was driving two hours, I would make sure that I set aside time to stop and grab food along the way. A shower from 1-4, I would never think that there would be a full meal there (like the previous posters have said, that isn't even meal time). But I have been to some that are from 11-1, and they only have light appetizers. During that time, I would expect that a full meal would be served, and would be kind of annoyed that here were light appetizers and nothing else. Especially since then, I would feel like I wanted to get out of there asap, to eat an actual meal. If I got that invite, I would leave my house at 10am, drive for an hour, stop for lunch with whoever I am carpooling with from 11am-noon, and then continue on from noon to 1pm. Between 1pm-4pm, I would be feeling snacky, and would enjoy whatever foods were served at the shower. 

    Let your DH handle his mother. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Sounds to me like the unreasonable part of your situation is the MIL. 

    I think sandwiches are just fine. It really annoys me when family gets worked up over petty stuff and stresses out the mom to be. My family and DH's family both have been doing that the whole way and it's just so unpleasant. 
  • I think your Mom's menu choices seem fine and versatile to appeal to mostly everyone since there will be more than enough options. If your MIL is that upset it could be suggested that maybe she make or provide some additional food that she finds appropriate or throw her own shower. If she keeps harping on it, politely tell her that as mom to be and guest of honor, you don't deserve to be picked on about this, because she is dampening what is supposed to be a fun and special day for you and have your Hubs back you up by backing her down.
  • My in laws came from further than that and had noooo issues with our food. My host did lots of odd end thing, sandwiches, meatballs, shrimp cocktail etc. I think it's insane she's suggesting you serve freaking OG if she's that concerned about what she eats after being in the car for two hours to come celebrate her grandkid she can stop and pick up her own dang food. 
  • The existing menu is fine. Your husband needs to sort her out.
  • As long as you're serving food! :)   IF your MIL has a problem with it, have her pay for the catering and make all arrangements.  
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