I'm just DONE

laurenlalap

Sorry, this is more than a vent than anything. After 3 failed IUIs, missing so much work for all of the monitoring appointments, and 4 M/Cs, I am just DONE.
I want to take a break for a few months and then give IVF a try in April (or maybe later if I'm not up for it) once I "re-group". 
My husband disagrees with me. He thinks that there's not need to take 2+ months off, and we should do one more IUI this month before taking a break.
I want to respect his wishes, but at the same time I've lost all hope and energy to do this for another cycle.
I've been at this fertility clinic for 6 months and it's so stressful. All of the appointments, medications, needles, vag probes and money we're spending each month. 
I've lost all hope / optimism after this failed cycle, and I'm just exhausted.

vssbrm

I understand your situation, my DH talked me into one more IUI right before Christmas, I just wanted a month off and did not want to deal with the BFN only a few days before Christmas. And I did not want to waste more money. I should have went with my gut, it as a BFN and only a few days before we had to be around tons of people, not a good mix for me. After that I explained to him why it was so important for me to take some time off before we started IVF. We start the meds at the end of February (edited bc of crazy brain)I feel so much better after a month and a half off so far to recharge. I'm in a much better head space to begin the IVF journey.
i know it is hard for them to understand how much harder this is for us ladies, not just the emotional toll (that they also feel) but the physical toll as well. We get to feel like a completely other crazier person for months on end with no ability to control it. Not to mention the weight gain and all the other side effects.

hang in there, I'm sure after he has some time to digest your feelings he will understand your need for a break. As much as this is a physical thing, emotional health is just as important.

Caroline351

Hugs. I'm in my second month off and I'm feeling lots better. I hope a break helps you!

tvh1982

I completely understand you wanting a break, I had a small one in December, as for the same reasons as you wanted a break. Not ready to have a BFN around Xmas, and my body being way to tired from all the hormones.
I don't have a DH to discuss this with, I can do it all in my own pace, which is very nice. But I also do not have the support form DH, which sucks big time.
Anyway, try to make him see why you need a break. They don't always understand. I of course don't talk from experience, but I notice that if you are not the one taking hormones you have no idea. Cause to be quite frank, I had absolutely no idea before I started my journey and thought it was a piece of cake. I only heard about the women that succeeded..no one every told me that there are tons of BFN and hormones involved.

HBamama2B

In fertility treatments, you can only go as fast as the lowest comfort level. Regardless of which partner is feeling the need to slow things down or take a break or change tactics, there should never be a 'pulling-dragging' effect. Does you clinic offer fertility counseling? They might be able to help explain things in a way he hears. GL and sorry for your struggle and losses. 

pascorra

I think you are doing the right thing. I am on my second round of IVF. After 4 failed attempts of IUI and having a chemical pregnancy during our first IVF cycle. I can't stress enough how important it is for you to be in this...fully. Physically, mentally and spiritually. IVF is so much more intense..the appointments, the shots...the schedule. The $$$. 

Our husbands are great, but they just cannot know what you are feeling. Although you are both in this...you are 1000 percent more impacted. He needs to understand why it makes sense for you to be in the right frame of mind...and let your body heal a bit.