Postpartum Depression Support

eliseandbaby

Is anybody else struggling with this? I was diagnosed last week. I have overwhelming anxiety, crying spells, anger, insomnia and struggling to bond with my baby.
Is there anybody else out there?

Taylovesbrad

I don't have it thank god. But I just wanted to send you love and support. It was one of my fears to have it. Xoxo glad you are getting help.

dmendo01

I don't, but I do think I had pp blues for the first week and getting out and going for walks helped me 100%. Nobody warns you about the pp hormones, they are no joke. Hang in there! If you can get out and do a little walking or exercise it promotes those good endorphins. always reach out on here if you need to!

pupsicle23

I struggled with pp anxiety before getting treatment, and the first few weeks home were so hard. I agree that getting out if the house makes a huge difference. This might sound silly, but schedule a walk or trip to get coffee for yourself. If you know that you have scheduled an outing for a specific time, you're more likely to go and it adds a sense of structure to the day. Text friends throughout the day as needed. Start a netflix series so that you can look forward to an episode when you get up for feedings.

Is your SO supportive?

Please continue to reach out. Remember, you do enough and you are enough. If you don't start feeling better, go back to your doctor.

paigeivey

I am having serious issues with pp depression. It is so hard on me. Ruining my family and leading into a divorce with DH. We just have to hang in there my counselor said. She says it gets better I just wish it would get better sooner rather than later 

kkarik

I'm going through some serious PPD right now. Serious separation anxiety to the point where I can't leave her with any one else and can't sleep more than 2 hours without waking to check on her. DH wanted to give me 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep and I had a breakdown. Waiting for a call from the place my ob referred me to, but my ob wouldn't discuss anything beyond giving me a referral and me begging him to not write me back into work until I can transfer care to someone else (physically i'm fine and apparently Ob's don't take PPD into account at all). He did agree to not do anything so i can transfer care. My ppc didn't want to prescribe anything without the ob because I breastfeed. Sorry for the rant. Hang in there mama, we're not alone.

eliseandbaby

It has been hell. I see I'm not the only one dealing with this. Is anybody thinking of going on medication for it at all?

eliseandbaby

@paigeivey are your relationship issues directly because of PPD? Because I can completely see how that would happen

jenEP

@eliseandbaby many, many women find medication extremely helpful for PPD. Research shows that medication and counseling together is the best treatment. I would talk with your doctor ASAP if you are struggling. There is no reason to not explore It as an option.

eliseandbaby

@jenEP thank you fir saying that. So many people are discouraging me from taking anything but I feel so desperate.

angelicac06

mhuber223 said:

I struggled with pp anxiety before getting treatment, and the first few weeks home were so hard. I agree that getting out if the house makes a huge difference. This might sound silly, but schedule a walk or trip to get coffee for yourself. If you know that you have scheduled an outing for a specific time, you're more likely to go and it adds a sense of structure to the day. Text friends throughout the day as needed. Start a netflix series so that you can look forward to an episode when you get up for feedings.

Is your SO supportive?

Please continue to reach out. Remember, you do enough and you are enough. If you don't start feeling better, go back to your doctor.

I struggled with serious baby blues for a month. I had major anxiety, would cry every day, had trouble connecting with LO etc. I really considered it was PPD but right after a month I started feeling better. Turned out I have a very high needs baby that to this day requires extra attention. When I discovered/ accepted it its when I started doing what @mhuber223 suggests. Its great advice. I now went back to getting my nails done every 2 weeks. I make an effort to get dressed on the weekends even if its just to go to the store. Talking my feelings out helped out as well. You need a support system! Get better mama, because have faith it will.

paigeivey

Yes a lot has to do with that . Treatment of counseling andedsjust aren't fast enough I guess@eliseandbaby 

Alyssaerin996

@eliseandbaby I don't have PPD but as a long time sufferer of anxiety disorder and depression, I hope you will seriously consider medication and disregard anyone who is discouraging you from exploring those options. There is no need to suffer and no one will give you a medal for trying to "power through" without intervention or help. Trust me, I tried! I found myself in a far, far worse place when I ignored the severity of the situation. The medication doesn't have to be permanent, but please consider it for your health and the health of your baby. You deserve to feel better!! I'll be thinking of you and @paigeivey and hope you get the help you need. Hang in there ladies, you really are doing a great job.

jenEP

@eliseandbaby you're welcome. You deserve to feel better!

hrausch1

I really wanted to not go back on meds but I think I have too. I've suffered from major depressive disorder, anxiety, and bpd since about 6th grade.

LauraSmarterSpam

I'm on meds for PPD. Here is my story:
https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12647749/post-partum-depression/p1

Mine really started up around two weeks pp, and we realized it after a week of going through it. Both my OB and PCP take it very seriously, and put me in a low dose of Zoloft and referred me to a therapist.
I'm am doing so much better now, and DH goes out of his way to make sure I don't have what he calls gloomy clouds.

12815AEEA

I think I might have ppd after 6 weeks pp. I'm having terrible insomnia, anxiety, crying spells, guilt...I never expected this after 6 weeks of being fine. I go to my ob next week. What's the usual suggestion? I have a counselor I love but can't afford to pay her. Could I get a script to see her through insurance??? 

eliseandbaby

I think you should be able to get a prescription through insurance. I am seeing doctor soon and will get one as well. Crying spells, insomnia, guilt, lonely, ... These are all terrible. Feels like hell.

groovylocks

No. I'm having anxiety. There is depression but it is due to environmental circumstances and not chemical imbalance so the cure for that is change. Unfortunately because that's easier said than done, it's triggering major anxiety. Most of my anxiety is also due to environmental factors but I also have anxiety about things that aren't environmental. It's kind of a mess but luckily i'm pretty adaptable so i'm getting through it all. Being with Olive helps a lot.

It is not hugely affecting bonding thankfully. It was for the first couple of weeks. But that's let up, thank god. I'm so sorry to women who are still dealing with this because it's just awful. 

I don't have any support except for a friend from work. And that relationship has become rather intense and so I've backed away from it.

I came to the USA to marry my husband and dealt (alone) with major homesickness for the first year. Once I found out i was pregnant, it got better but now that Olive is here, it's come back. I have idealized my friends back home and continuously think everything would be great if i could just be with them instead of here.

There is a lot going on under the surface that i am having major trouble talking about. 

But i have Olive. And while I'd never burden her with being my support hub, when she stretches those little arms out, smiles at me or  shouts happily when i enter a room, I know I'll be ok. I have to be. It's an ugly world and she needs me.

laurabwalker

For me I'm not sure what it is really. I know that I don't sleep more than 3-4 hours, sometimes in 20 min spurts each 24 hours. My LO cries a lot of the time, doesn't sleep well but eats well. I can't really soothe her unfortunately which leads to terrible guilt as I feel so bad but so frustrated when it goes on for a really long time. I feel sad and cry a lot. I have told the people in my life and am reaching out to my care provider. I'm not sure if its chemical or environmental but it feels terrible. 

eliseandbaby

laurabwalker said:

For me I'm not sure what it is really. I know that I don't sleep more than 3-4 hours, sometimes in 20 min spurts each 24 hours. My LO cries a lot of the time, doesn't sleep well but eats well. I can't really soothe her unfortunately which leads to terrible guilt as I feel so bad but so frustrated when it goes on for a really long time. I feel sad and cry a lot. I have told the people in my life and am reaching out to my care provider. I'm not sure if its chemical or environmental but it feels terrible. 

 I relate to this. I feel sad and cry a lot too. Sometimes Out of the blue for seemingly no reason at all. Then I feel guilt for crying and being so sad.. I thought when you're a new mom you're tired but so happy.
its good you've told ppl in your life and are reaching out to care provider. That's all we can do at this point.

eliseandbaby

It's also hard because I know I SHOULD get outside every day and I should see people but I just get so overwhelmed and feel like I can't do it 

12815AEEA

eliseandbaby said:

It's also hard because I know I SHOULD get outside every day and I should see people but I just get so overwhelmed and feel like I can't do it 

I feel this way often. 

laurabwalker

eliseandbaby said:

It's also hard because I know I SHOULD get outside every day and I should see people but I just get so overwhelmed and feel like I can't do it 

Yes me too

eliseandbaby

I need to make myself see ppl or I'll go crazy but I only want my husband and he's at work

laurabwalker

I only want my husband as well, working too. @eliseandbaby

groovylocks

eliseandbaby said:

It's also hard because I know I SHOULD get outside every day and I should see people but I just get so overwhelmed and feel like I can't do it 

ugh well friends suck for this too.. Nobody wants to be around a new baby for long. They want to touch her and take photos of her and then skidaddle, right? They say things like "We should really do coffee when you get a free moment" - which translates to "Leave the baby at home because OMG i'm so glad i'm not you right now!"

And i'm listening to this "Coffee when you're free" business and I want to say "Look lady, change 'coffee' to 'jack daniels' and 'we' to 'you come babysit because momma needs to go for a drink'."

I mean it really doesn't help that most people can't give you the maintenance you need as a new mom. Every day, at least once a day, I keep thinking how much easier life would be if i just had a personal shopper, an assistant, a chef, a housekeeper and an extra husband (Preferably a super-domesticated Chippendale but I'm not fussy..) 

EDIT: added housekeeper because I am SICK of doing laundry and i don't want the Chippendale to ruin those pretty hands..

eliseandbaby

@groovylocks yes, why isn't every new mom sent home with housekeeper and a bottle of wine? I would pay extra taxes for that.

the friends part is so challenging. People offer to help but nobody wants to come hold my crying baby while I nap... And as if I could actually sleep  knowing my baby and the person holding her are both not enjoying themselves.  It feels like there are no options. I wish I could live with my parents again.

laurabwalker

Anyone still struggling or have gotten help and been successful? I'm struggling quite a bit

kdoak2015

@laurabwalker i know you have a higher needs baby as I've read from your posts previously, I think that plays a HUGE toll on moms and adjusting to our new lives. I have some PPA which Somedays leads into crying spouts but I think it's just a matter of getting adjusted to our new lives with these new higher needs babies. My DD is just starting to get a bit easier but we still have some bad days where she pretty much cries or spits up non stop which wears on me. I'm not sure your situation. I personally was always an emotional person so I haven't sought help as I don't feel the need to. But speaking with someone is always a good idea. Whether is be the board or someone in the medical field. 

sassypants13

@eliseandbaby hang in there and please seek medical help. I had a VERY similar situation starting around 1-2wks pp and it got ugly. Frequent crying, insomnia, poor self care, no motivation to get out or see friends, constant worry about LO, horrible anxiety. I'm taking zoloft and it changed my life and my ability to nurture and enjoy my daughter. She even seemed to be more relaxed once mama was better. There is no medal for suffering through PPD unmedicated. It DOES feel like hell, with the layers of guilt and suffering. You are not alone. You're doing something very, very hard and you're an awesome mama for recognizing something is wrong and reaching out. Peace and healing to you! Feel free to message me if you want to chat further. 

Love your name, it's what we picked for our daughter's middle name

newtonc2

Hey Ladies

I am very blessed to say that I have the most chill, easy going baby. She generally sleeps and eats well, and gets along well with most people. I also have a supportive DH. That being said, from 6 weeks pp, I have had the worst pp anxiety. 

I would live in fear of accidently hurting or killing baby, to the extreme. Nights were the worst, but the feelings followed me the entire day. I cried and cried and cried. Finally I confessed to my PCP and was put on 50mg of Zoloft (which is breastfeeding safe). I can say now, at 10 weeks pp, my life has turned around, for the better. I literally feel like I've been saved and know that my relationship with my baby and my DH are all the better for that. 

Regardless of your situation, ppd and ppa can happen to anyone. I'm proof. It's important to get help, and NOTHING wrong with going on medication. 

eliseandbaby

@sassypants13 thank you for your encouraging words, I will message you.

@laurabwalker I am also still struggling, so you aren't alone. My daughter is also fairly high needs, crying often, barely napping, lousy night sleeper, reflux, etc... It is not easy having a high needs baby. Can I ask what your baby is like? I hope I'm not alone in feeling like my baby is so.much.work. 

i have recently started medication to help with my depression/high anxiety. I don't feel any different yet but I am so hoping it helps. 

laurabwalker

eliseandbaby said:

@sassypants13 thank you for your encouraging words, I will message you.

@laurabwalker I am also still struggling, so you aren't alone. My daughter is also fairly high needs, crying often, barely napping, lousy night sleeper, reflux, etc... It is not easy having a high needs baby. Can I ask what your baby is like? I hope I'm not alone in feeling like my baby is so.much.work. 

i have recently started medication to help with my depression/high anxiety. I don't feel any different yet but I am so hoping it helps. 

I think my daughter has improved quite a bit but still won't nap, sleeping okay at night 3-4 hours then up every 1.5 hours, but I did go the doctor today and he said that only sleeping that small amount is aggravating the situation, also she needs to nap in a dark room, and it takes so long to get her to sleep I am spending way too much time in the dark I feel worried to take medication while breastfeeding but I have terrible crying spells and feel sad. I'm really struggling with the loss of my personal freedom and old life, while feeling embarrassed that this is happening. I also feel like it is a lot of work to keep her happy. 

eliseandbaby

@laurabwalker one of the things I struggle the most with is mourning the loss of my old life. Being able to go to work, go out to dinner, sleeping in on weekends, time with my husband, etc... It feels selfish to say that but it's just how I feel. I also wanted breast milk safe medication. I even contemplated switching to 100% formula and may still do that. So desperate to feel normal. 

kdoak2015

eliseandbaby said:

@laurabwalker one of the things I struggle the most with is mourning the loss of my old life. Being able to go to work, go out to dinner, sleeping in on weekends, time with my husband, etc... It feels selfish to say that but it's just how I feel. I also wanted breast milk safe medication. I even contemplated switching to 100% formula and may still do that. So desperate to feel normal. 

Why don't you do some of the stuff you use to enjoy? Take time with your husband, go out for dinner,(try to do some of the things you did in your "old" life). But do it one day at a time. Go out for an"quick" meal with baby and daddy if you know that triggers anxiety. 
I use to freak at restaurants and be like "omg what do I do if she starts crying right now" "we can't go places because she needs to nap and she'll be cranky"
I push myself daily to go out and do things out of my comfort and it really helps. I've been able to put DD upstairs the last few nights alone so I get some quiet time with DH. 

pupsicle23

@laurabwalker I'm so sorry to see you're having a hard time.  You can absolutely try medicine without it ruining your supply. 

I had PPA and am on a safe amount of medication. I still worry a LOT, as you can probably tell by my many posts, but it's not nearly as bad. I also agree with @kdoak2015 about trying to go out.  I used to be terrified to put DD in the car seat, and then of her crying in public, so I didn't leave.  After forcing myself to start doing "normal" things,  it all got less scary. Today,  I strolled through the store with DD and she started to lose her mind.  It was fine.  People stared, but I needed to get stuff for dinner and honestly gave zero f*cks about their opinion of me. Which is a big deal for me, ha. 

I totally understand,  though. I sometimes wish I could just go hiking or riding or even just leave the house without it being a production.  Or just eat a freaking piece of cheese. And when I dwell on it, it's cyclical. I sit on the couch with DD because I'm down, and then I'm down bc I've been on the couch all day.  

I'll be thinking of you, @laurabwalkerand @eliseandbaby. 

laurabwalker

eliseandbaby said:

@laurabwalker one of the things I struggle the most with is mourning the loss of my old life. Being able to go to work, go out to dinner, sleeping in on weekends, time with my husband, etc... It feels selfish to say that but it's just how I feel. I also wanted breast milk safe medication. I even contemplated switching to 100% formula and may still do that. So desperate to feel normal. 

I feel this way strongly, I think it's driven by just a massive life change, I don't think it's selfish, it doesn't mean you don't love your baby. My doctor said to me today "you can love your baby with every bit of yourself but everyone needs a break". I think i feel stuck because I am ebf but at the same time I really feel connected to her when I do, I have also considered formula to get some time to myself but I cannot even get her to take a bottle
of ebm. 

laurabwalker

@mhuber223 @kdoak2015
I need to start trying to take her to a store, I've only took her to appointments or to visit people, one time I took her to the post office and she was crying so I left. I will ask my husband if he wants to try a restaurant. He is feeling the effects of this as well and also is mourning what his life was (I mean he still goes out from time to time and works etc, but he wants to be able to do whatever he wants and cannot).
i would also like to eat a piece of cheese 

kdoak2015

laurabwalker said:

@mhuber223 @kdoak2015
I need to start trying to take her to a store, I've only took her to appointments or to visit people, one time I took her to the post office and she was crying so I left. I will ask my husband if he wants to try a restaurant. He is feeling the effects of this as well and also is mourning what his life was (I mean he still goes out from time to time and works etc, but he wants to be able to do whatever he wants and cannot).
i would also like to eat a piece of cheese 

Oh honey, you need to get out, seriously PUSH yourself. It'll be the best thing you do. And the first 3/4 times you go out your going to freak out thinking OMG what if she cries, OMG shes crying. We were out with a bunch of family tonight at a restaurant. I went to the washroom and could hear a baby screaming in the dining room. I walk out and some people were looking and I said "ohh i think that's mine and moved along to go comfort her". I find it easier now that I know i can sooth her. @laurabwalker I can personally say if we were EBF I'd likely not go out as much and I tend to feed her in the car a lot instead of out in public.

jenEP

@laurabwalker I'm sorry to hear you are struggling. I have a high needs baby too, so I can empathize with you. It's so much work. I agree with previous posters that getting out of the house is key to feeling better. Luckily, my DD takes a bottle so I often leave her with DH while I run errands. I joined a local parenting support group, which has been great. I also went back to work two days per week and my mood instantly got better. I miss my DD so much, but getting a break has saved my sanity. If you are hesitant about medication, therapy can be just as effective. You are not alone.