Skipping the Infant Seat: Tips for Success?

Somersky

I'm planning at this point to skip the infant carseat, and I'd appreciate tips from those who've successfully done it or seen it done. I'm planning on baby-wearing (assuming me and LO like baby-wearing), and I have pondered getting a Moses bassinet/basket, but am not sold on that. (And yes, *IF* we hate life without an infant seat, we'll buy it later.)

Thanks in advance for any tips!

ecwk

So you're planning a regular child's car seat instead, is that what you mean?

Somersky

Yep, the plan is to use a convertible car seat for times when we need to take the car. (This assumes baby arrives at a good weight--over 5 pounds. If not, again--we will get the infant car seat.)

dramaphile

Make sure the convertible seat you use will fit in your back seat while rear-facing. If you have a small car, some convertible seats may not fit without making the front passenger seat unusable.

Somersky

@dramaphile Good tip and yes--it fits rear-facing, so no worries. Whether we get an infant seat or not, it would eventually be a problem if the convertible didn't fit.

dramaphile

Somersky said:

@dramaphile Good tip and yes--it fits rear-facing, so no worries. Whether we get an infant seat or not, it would eventually be a problem if the convertible didn't fit.

Good! There are some brands that are better for smaller cars than others, I have friends who've had to return carseats because they wouldn't fit.

PrimRoseMama

I'm not sure this is a safe idea?

Somersky

@PrimRoseMama Why wouldn't it be safe? Assuming baby is born over 5-lbs, the convertible seat is tested and rated for infants (5 lbs and up).

Setting aside riding in the car, though...I'm looking more for tips if/when we are out and about without a car. I'd probably baby-wear on the bus/metro,and maybe while walking around (?), but not sure what we'd do if we go out to lunch downtown or something.

ETA: We also have a stroller with a bassinet, and that may be all we need. Just wondering if anyone has a favorite baby-toting method they can share (besides the infant seat).

nkob

Is this for financial reasons? If not, infant seats have a handle and a base so you can easily pop them in and out of the car when they're asleep. This is a life savor for a lot of people. If you can't afford to get one that's different and it is safe but not as comfortable for them, it's more upright. Either way, I'm sure you'll make it work

Somersky

@nkob No, it's not for financial reasons in our case. After thinking it over and reading up on it a bit, in our situation, I think the infant seat is not something we want to use. It'll depend on what happens after baby arrives, of course--and I'm open to buying one at that point.

But any pointers to give us a fighting chance without one are appreciated!

flowerpower5838

We thought about doing this, too - primarily for financial-related issues and also because infant car seats aren't actually a necessity (despite people's obvious perceived notions here?).

Ultimately, I decided to register for an infant car seat and will probably end up buying one if we don't get receive one.

I think that if you're planning to do a lot of baby wearing and have an infant-friendly stroller you're already a step ahead of the game. You specifically mentioned bus/metro, so it sounds like you do less car traveling than the average person anyway (I am in suburbia and regulated strictly to driving), so that should give you a leg up, too.

We decided against it simply for convenience - ie waking the baby when he is in the carseat to move him, moving him in general, having to transfer to a babywear thing instead of just popping up a stroller for the seat, etc.

Good luck and I am interested to hear how it goes for you!

DrillSergeantCat

nkob said:

Is this for financial reasons? If not, infant seats have a handle and a base so you can easily pop them in and out of the car when they're asleep. This is a life savor for a lot of people. If you can't afford to get one that's different and it is safe but not as comfortable for them, it's more upright. Either way, I'm sure you'll make it work

A true convertible seat reclines just as much as an infant seat.

skruhmin

As a mother of two infant seat haters/screamers, I see this as can be a smart idea - infant seats can be super expensive, depending on when you switch to convertible, may be a waste.  With that being said, it sounds like you're doing your homework well.  Convertible seats can be used rather than the infant seat - sounds like you're following the weight recommendations.  Wearing your baby is a great option out of the car.  The stroller thing might be interesting but sounds like it won't be an issue if you wear baby.  I know the other arguments for the infant seat is you can take baby in/out of the car without waking him/her - so that might be the one pain in the butt. 

Somersky

@DrillSergeantCat is right about the recline--it's the same.

After the first few reactions to my question, it dawned on me that the best person to ask might be my own mom! Infant car seats weren't always a "thing." She said she did a lot of baby-wearing, but she also had some kind of portable baby carrier thing that could be rocked back and forth. I'm going to google around a bit to see if things like that still exist. A very flat one would be ideal, I think, but I've never seen anything like it, so...we shall see.

Besides not wanting to tote baby in an infant seat, I also wonder if we might have an LO who hates being strapped in like @skruhmin's kiddos. Even though we can afford an infant seat, I'd hate for that money to go to waste if s/he hates it! And I know myself...better to remove the temptation to leave sleeping baby in an infant seat...

PrimRoseMama

My concern would be neck control & suffocation hazard for the infant. I'm not a huge bucket fan, but it seems to support the infant head/neck/spine much better than a convertible seat. Are you a FTM? Because NB are floppy & prone to listing to the side. They can't sit in an upright position like a baby 6 months & up can.

Weight isn't the only factor to be considered.

PrimRoseMama

https://csftl.org/choosing-a-convertible-car-seat-for-a-newborn/

Also, moving a sleeping newborn from the seat when you have to go inside seems like a huge pain. I didn't adore my bucket for either kid, but it made shopping a lot easier to move the entire apparatus to the cart basket (not the handle bars!!!) than to disturb baby, strap into carrier with said squawking newborn & go.

DrillSergeantCat

PrimRoseMama said:

My concern would be neck control & suffocation hazard for the infant. I'm not a huge bucket fan, but it seems to support the infant head/neck/spine much better than a convertible seat. Are you a FTM? Because NB are floppy & prone to listing to the side. They can't sit in an upright position like a baby 6 months & up can. Weight isn't the only factor to be considered.

The convertible seat we got has an infant insert that is removable at a certain point. 

Somersky

Same here--there's a removable infant insert on our convertible seat, built to support floppy NBs.

Part of the issue is that I want no temptation (for me or DH or any caregiver) to leave baby sleeping in the car seat. Too much time like that (on a slight incline) is not good for floppy NBs, as it's not intended as a bed. That, paired with us not using the car much just means it's not a necessity and might just encourage bad habits of leaving LO in the seat too much.

The only part I'm struggling to envision is eating in a restaurant or maybe when we fly home, some way to let LO nap if we spend time at my BFF's house. (My parent's house is equipped with a crib for visiting grandbabies, so that's what we would do there, both for naps and nighttime sleep.)

ETA: Our convertible is the Chicco Nextfit--the first "sure thing" listed on the website you suggest. It's supposed to be great for a NB, and on up.

paytonpedro

I thought about doing this, but my hospital requires baby be carried out in its infant car seat carrier. Might be something you should look into if you plan on delivering at a hospital.

Somersky

I've never heard of a policy re: how baby is carried out of the hospital before! (I have, on the other hand, heard of the hospital checking the car seat installation.)

I'll definitely ask at my next appointment.

emgee27

Somersky said:

Same here--there's a removable infant insert on our convertible seat, built to support floppy NBs. Part of the issue is that I want no temptation (for me or DH or any caregiver) to leave baby sleeping in the car seat. Too much time like that (on a slight incline) is not good for floppy NBs, as it's not intended as a bed. That, paired with us not using the car much just means it's not a necessity and might just encourage bad habits of leaving LO in the seat too much. The only part I'm struggling to envision is eating in a restaurant or maybe when we fly home, some way to let LO nap if we spend time at my BFF's house. (My parent's house is equipped with a crib for visiting grandbabies, so that's what we would do there, both for naps and nighttime sleep.) ETA: Our convertible is the Chicco Nextfit--the first "sure thing" listed on the website you suggest. It's supposed to be great for a NB, and on up.

We are still getting an infant car seat because our stroller travel system comes with one and we are too in love with it to change. That being said, I agree with you and do not plan on leaving my sleeping baby in the car seat. Our plan is that the car seat is for rides in the car and that's it.

Our stroller has a bassinet option as well, which we plan on transferring the baby into if we are out and about, or I will baby wear (I registered for the K'tan.)  Little babies wake up all the time because of their constant sleep-poop-eat schedule so I'm not at all concerned about waking the baby up in the transfer into or out of the car. We are choosing to wake the baby up rather than to leave them strapped into and hunched in their car seat. 

alynne1113

I agree with PP that you have to carry infant out of hospital in infant seat. We had one for dd but she was under 5 lbs when we left the hospital. She hated it. We switched her at 8 months (13 lbs) and she was much happier. The next baby we will skip the infant seat, other than bringing it to the hospital.

Its a bit of a PITA when you have appointments or when they are really young and fall asleep in the vehicle. Its nice to just bring the seat inside without waking them. Also, baby wearing is great but it can also be fussy to wrap an infant in a parking lot, in the winter/wet weather its even harder. So, its really a personal choice but it is doable.

SarahFoley725

I had considered doing the same thing but ultimately decided to get an infant seat. I don't think it's any safer than a convertible seat but I do think it will be a little more simple. We can have a base in both of our cars. I know you said you plan to baby wear a lot, but what about if you go out to eat? That sounds like a pain.

PhoebeJune1984

We didn't have to carry our daughter out of the hospital in a carseat (although we did....it isn't a rule at the hospital). If you had a convertible, they would just follow you out to make sure you weren't lying about having the carseat in the first place, make sure that it is installed correctly, and make sure that you knew how to put baby in the carseat. Our carseat was $230, and we only used it until she was 9 or 10 months old. 

This kid is going to be getting the benefits of both worlds. We have to get a new seat because our infant seat is expired. Instead of getting a convertible for each car, we are getting the Chicco Nextfit Zip for my husbands truck (since it has the best NB recline), and then a infant seat for my car. I felt like buying a second base was a waste, when it wouldn't get used more than a handful of times a month, and then I would eventually have to buy two convertibles anyway. An additional base for the infant seat for our carseat, is $160. That is $160 we can use towards the convertible. I was tempted to get the convertible for my car, but decided against it, ONLY because I am in and out of my car so often. I am not usually doing a trip to one place, I am going to several places. And I don't want to deal with getting the baby in and out, plus in and out of the Ergo....all while also making sure DD doesn't get hit by a car in the parking lot.  

I wouldn't worry too much about things like where your LO will take a nap if you are at BFF's house. Like a lot of random things that come up with children, you improvise. Even though we had an infant seat for our daughter, we didn't bring it into people's houses when we went inside. If we wanted her to nap, we just brought a A&A swaddle, swaddled her, waited until she fell asleep, and then laid her down somewhere where she couldn't roll off. 

Somersky

Ok, this release-from-hospital thing is a new angle, so I'm glad you guys brought it to my attention! I've got an appointment next week, so will definitely check. I'm positive they can't hold you by law if you have a legal car seat (and are leaving by car), as long as it's rated for infants (and your infant isn't preemie small). BUT I'll also bet there are cheapo infant seats out there and it might be worth the money just to make nice with the hospital staff. I'll update once I know what the policy is.

As for going out to eat without an infant seat, my boss (with three now-grown kids) laughed and said he didn't go out to eat. And that on the very rare occasion he did, they rolled the stroller up by the table and that was it. I think that'll be our tentative plan for the rare restaurant excursion. I'm still investigating appropriate portable snooze products for stuff like visiting friends.

PhoebeJune1984

We just held our daughter at the restaurant. She was small enough that it wasn't like we were trying to hold a wiggly 6 month old. And once she was sitting, she was in the restaurants high chair.....

MamaRoni

Somersky said:

I've never heard of a policy re: how baby is carried out of the hospital before! (I have, on the other hand, heard of the hospital checking the car seat installation.)

I'll definitely ask at my next appointment.

My hospital requires baby to be carried out in seat too.... and I'm talking rural south GA.... no public transportation or any of that

stillcozy

I think each person will do their own research and if they are comfortable and find a safe convertable car seat then there is no problem.

Also I really resent the fact that a stm is trying to push someone into a purchase by trying to say that they don't know what babies are like. I'm a FTM and I resent being looked down upon or the assumption I know nothing about babies and I am sure others don't appreciate it either.

Somersky

@Lindsayleigh1989 Yeah....I kind of let that snark go, but yeah. It's maybe *because* I'm a FTM that I question everything (including utility vs overuse of infant carriers).

@PhoebeJune1984 Good points....I'm probably overthinking the rare occasion when baby-wearing or the stroller won't work. When we went out to eat with my sis and her baby girl, we all practically fought to get to hold baby during the meal. And an improvised snooze area at my friend's house will be fine on those rare occasions.

As long as the hospital doesn't give me too hard a time, I'm going to give it a shot sans infant carrier. I'm sure Target will be happy to sell me one later if I change my mind!

Monkeybutt80

Somersky said:

Ok, this release-from-hospital thing is a new angle, so I'm glad you guys brought it to my attention! I've got an appointment next week, so will definitely check. I'm positive they can't hold you by law if you have a legal car seat (and are leaving by car), as long as it's rated for infants (and your infant isn't preemie small). BUT I'll also bet there are cheapo infant seats out there and it might be worth the money just to make nice with the hospital staff. I'll update once I know what the policy is.

As for going out to eat without an infant seat, my boss (with three now-grown kids) laughed and said he didn't go out to eat. And that on the very rare occasion he did, they rolled the stroller up by the table and that was it. I think that'll be our tentative plan for the rare restaurant excursion. I'm still investigating appropriate portable snooze products for stuff like visiting friends.

Re: eating out. We did a ton with our first. While he was an infant was the time to eat out. I was still too tired to cook on regular basis and because the baby mostly sleeps, it was the best time. Then it got hard to eat out as he got older ( 6 months until about a year and half and after that, he could behave so we are back to eating out a lot), needing more stimulation, own food and such.
Also, keep in mind many restaurants ( especially smaller non chain restaurants) will not allow a stroller inside next to the table as it can be a fire hazard ( blocking the path and such)

sarahufl

Lindsayleigh1989 said:

I think each person will do their own research and if they are comfortable and find a safe convertable car seat then there is no problem. Also I really resent the fact that a stm is trying to push someone into a purchase by trying to say that they don't know what babies are like. I'm a FTM and I resent being looked down upon or the assumption I know nothing about babies and I am sure others don't appreciate it either.

Yeah, FTM here too. And, um, I know newborns are floppy. Who doesn't?

stillcozy

@sarahufl apparently FTM don't know anything...

Bigboobsmcgee

Lindsayleigh1989 said:

@sarahufl apparently FTM don't know anything...

No one is saying that and @Primrosemama is definitely just trying to be helpful.

Bigboobsmcgee

Monkeybutt80 said:

Ok, this release-from-hospital thing is a new angle, so I'm glad you guys brought it to my attention! I've got an appointment next week, so will definitely check. I'm positive they can't hold you by law if you have a legal car seat (and are leaving by car), as long as it's rated for infants (and your infant isn't preemie small). BUT I'll also bet there are cheapo infant seats out there and it might be worth the money just to make nice with the hospital staff. I'll update once I know what the policy is. As for going out to eat without an infant seat, my boss (with three now-grown kids) laughed and said he didn't go out to eat. And that on the very rare occasion he did, they rolled the stroller up by the table and that was it. I think that'll be our tentative plan for the rare restaurant excursion. I'm still investigating appropriate portable snooze products for stuff like visiting friends.

Re: eating out. We did a ton with our first. While he was an infant was the time to eat out. I was still too tired to cook on regular basis and because the baby mostly sleeps, it was the best time. Then it got hard to eat out as he got older ( 6 months until about a year and half and after that, he could behave so we are back to eating out a lot), needing more stimulation, own food and such. Also, keep in mind many restaurants ( especially smaller non chain restaurants) will not allow a stroller inside next to the table as it can be a fire hazard ( blocking the path and such)

Same here.

Now that my kids are 3.5 and 15 months old I'd rather punch myself in the face than go to a restaurant with both of them! Just kidding...sort of.

OP I know lots of parents that never used an infant seat and said it was never difficult for them. You'll figure it out and if you need one, buy one. Problem solved!

bbiutmcph

Wit our second we ended up using a convertible one as he hated the infant carrier. We wore him like you are planning and it was honestly easier in many cases than lugging the infant seat around. It allowed me to actually use my cart when shopping not trying to fit things around it while it was in the cart (because yes it's not safe to use on top like many people do). I live in NY so going to to car from somewhere I just used blankets which again wasn't a huge deal. The times we did go out to eat we would plan around that particular restaurant, sometimes we would bring a small stroller, wear him, or hold him. It really wasn't an issue. Just research the convertible seat as there are many that are highly recommended for infants. As far as hospital guidelines I've never heard of them saying it has to be an infant carrier. Our hospital just ensures you have a proper seat and it's installed
Properly. And as you said if find its not working you can always but am infant carrier

Somersky

bbiutmcph said:

Wit our second we ended up using a convertible one as he hated the infant carrier. We wore him like you are planning and it was honestly easier in many cases than lugging the infant seat around. It allowed me to actually use my cart when shopping not trying to fit things around it while it was in the cart (because yes it's not safe to use on top like many people do). I live in NY so going to to car from somewhere I just used blankets which again wasn't a huge deal. The times we did go out to eat we would plan around that particular restaurant, sometimes we would bring a small stroller, wear him, or hold him. It really wasn't an issue. Just research the convertible seat as there are many that are highly recommended for infants. As far as hospital guidelines I've never heard of them saying it has to be an infant carrier. Our hospital just ensures you have a proper seat and it's installed
Properly. And as you said if find its not working you can always but am infant carrier

Thank you! Good to hear it from somebody who has done it. Actually sounds pretty easy.

RMLandy

I don't have any advice on going without an infant carrier as I think they're one of the greatest inventions in the world. However, I want to reassure you that you will figure it out! There are so many contingencies with each child and each family, everyone has to adjust their plans and expectations over and over again. If you want to try, go for it. It'll probably be fine. If not, go buy one and move on with life! You'll be great!

LaurenAsh23

Another few good things with a bucket seats that I can remember
- you can attaché toys to the handle which entertains baby as they get older
- You can cover baby up on cold/rainy days easier than putting a blanket up over your shoulder while carrying baby which ends up falling off (at least for me)
- Lots of strollers aren't made for newborns

Fwiw I found the bucket seat to be super helpful. Dd did hate it at first, but after a few weeks was ok with it. She was big though and we switched to a convertible around 9months. Everytime she sees the bucket seat now though she jumps in it and plays with the toys that were on it haha

Bigboobsmcgee

bbiutmcph said:

Wit our second we ended up using a convertible one as he hated the infant carrier. We wore him like you are planning and it was honestly easier in many cases than lugging the infant seat around. It allowed me to actually use my cart when shopping not trying to fit things around it while it was in the cart (because yes it's not safe to use on top like many people do). I live in NY so going to to car from somewhere I just used blankets which again wasn't a huge deal. The times we did go out to eat we would plan around that particular restaurant, sometimes we would bring a small stroller, wear him, or hold him. It really wasn't an issue. Just research the convertible seat as there are many that are highly recommended for infants. As far as hospital guidelines I've never heard of them saying it has to be an infant carrier. Our hospital just ensures you have a proper seat and it's installed Properly. And as you said if find its not working you can always but am infant carrier

I wore my second child a LOT more than my first and it was easier than lugging around a heavy car seat.

PrimRoseMama

Just to be clear, I wasn't knocking FTM. I just realize that there is a lot you (general you) don't have real-world experience with yet. That's not a criticism, but a fact. If you want to skip the bucket then you can make it work. Just asking because you've never used the bucket & don't know the difference.

PrimRoseMama

Lindsayleigh1989 said:

I think each person will do their own research and if they are comfortable and find a safe convertable car seat then there is no problem.

Also I really resent the fact that a stm is trying to push someone into a purchase by trying to say that they don't know what babies are like. I'm a FTM and I resent being looked down upon or the assumption I know nothing about babies and I am sure others don't appreciate it either.

There's no need to get defensive. True story though-- it's considerably different once your particular baby is here. Everyone is all-knowing until reality sets in. I'm not trying to talk down to you & I apologize if my words came across like that. It's truly not my intention, but "knowing about babies" isn't the same as actually parenting your own. It's not condescending to say that-- and no, not everyone knows what newborns are like. It's actually a faulty assumption to think that someone who has never had a child to know that.

Even as a STM when DS arrived I had forgotten how small & delicate a NB was. That's not a bit of snark but real talk.