Baby Showers

Gender Reveal AT the baby shower?

LDSJM123LDSJM123 member
1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
edited January 2016 in Baby Showers
I have creeped for many months and know the general consensus on gender reveal parties is a big fat no. My best friend, who is hosting the shower, is also a sonographer and will be doing my 20 week anatomy scan. My husband and I have been going back and forth on finding out baby's gender. She came up with the idea of her not telling us at the ultrasound what baby is, and revealing it at the shower somehow. Would this be acceptable? We have already decided to register for gender neutral items so that won't be an issue with us finding out later.  My shower won't be huge and it will just be our best friends and closest family if that makes any difference. Thanks for your input! 

*Edited because I can't spell! ;-) 
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Re: Gender Reveal AT the baby shower?

  • I don't see a problem with that as long as you don't know the sex of your baby either. 

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    kimey1
  • @DrillSergeantCat  Baby's gender would be a surprise for me as well. So myself and our guests would all be finding out at the shower together. 
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  • LDSJM123 said:
    @DrillSergeantCat  Baby's gender would be a surprise for me as well. So myself and our guests would all be finding out at the shower together. 
    No problem then! 

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  • Sounds exciting! Go for it.

     

    kimey1
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    I see no issue with this.
  • I think its fun but some guests might be annoyed because they wouldnt be able to purchase the proper colors. Ive heard of this happening.


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    lalala2004[Deleted User]
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  • I think revealing at the shower is a good idea! It'll be sweet for your guests to see your reaction, and not an AW thing like a gender reveal party on its own.
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    DrillSergeantCatSassenach1743kimey1
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  • You do have to consider that people's perception may be that you did this to manipulate what kind of gifts people will get. I would wonder if I was invited to a shower of this kind.
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  • @VOR I think it's just that there genuinely are people who do withhold the baby's sex in order to do exactly that, to ensure they don't get a shit ton of pink or blue or whatever.

    I don't think this is OPs sentiment and OP, since you're finding out at the shower too, I think it could be cute! You know your friends and family best :)



         
                            
     
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  • You do have to consider that people's perception may be that you did this to manipulate what kind of gifts people will get. I would wonder if I was invited to a shower of this kind.

    Don't we all manipulate what kind of gifts we get by creating a registry? 

    Lots of people don't buy off a registry. Whether or not they do will not change with revealing the sex of the baby. If they would normally buy clothes, however, this may change what they would want to buy.

    It's one thing to be team green so that no one knows the sex until the baby is born, but to wait to reveal it until a gift giving event? It does seem a bit manipulative to me. *shrugs* Not saying that is the intent, but it's how others may view it.
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  • I think this is fine as long as you and the father are also finding out at the shower.
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  • Before i was pregnant, I thought this was annoying. But now i think it makes enough sense. My sibling in laws did this and i found it weird at the time that i had to structure my gifts 100% to gender netural and thought it was a weird time to do it. But now that im pregnant with my own and KNOW im having a girl. I am still choosing gender netural as we do hope for a boy next time around and im also just simply not a huge fan of pink or blue as colors anyway. So ultimately as long as YOU also dont know then I think its fun, because the gender reveal at the shower was still fun all the same and we all cheered and teared up and the boys came in just for that part and it was actually really nice.
    DrillSergeantCatLDSJM123Myelhsa
  • We are going a similar route for our baby shower. We have chosen to let everyone know what the gender will be before the baby shower except for us. This will happen of course by having the ultrasound tech put the results on a pic and put it in an envelope that we will give to one of the hostess. They will let everyone know in the invitations. We will find out the gender of our baby with a reveal cake. That way it can be a true surprise for us and everyone can buy what they want. I hope this idea helps you. It made me feel better. Oh and as of right now we are not doing a registry but I have a feeling my friends are going to force that issue. Good luck!
    DrillSergeantCatSummerBrooke13
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  • turnicia said:
    We are going a similar route for our baby shower. We have chosen to let everyone know what the gender will be before the baby shower except for us. This will happen of course by having the ultrasound tech put the results on a pic and put it in an envelope that we will give to one of the hostess. They will let everyone know in the invitations. We will find out the gender of our baby with a reveal cake. That way it can be a true surprise for us and everyone can buy what they want. I hope this idea helps you. It made me feel better. Oh and as of right now we are not doing a registry but I have a feeling my friends are going to force that issue. Good luck!
    That's backwards from how most people do it and I love it! 

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    turnicia
  • Glad I could help.
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  • We are also planning on doing the gender on the shower invitations and doing a reveal at the shower, I think that's a great idea! I really don't want to know until the baby is born, but I know our families will throw a fit because they want to buy clothes for the baby before then. 
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  • We are also planning on doing the gender on the shower invitations and doing a reveal at the shower, I think that's a great idea! I really don't want to know until the baby is born, but I know our families will throw a fit because they want to buy clothes for the baby before then. 
    We were Team Green and there were a few family members who probably wished we wojuld have found out, but I am so happy we waited to have the surprise.  We did get some baby clothes at my shower, gender neutral stuff that we were able to use for our daughter.  People also bought us some clothes after she was born, once they knew she was a girl.  If you really want to wait, put your foot down!  Your family will live, and they will have plenty of
    time to buy baby clothes after he/she is born.
    DrillSergeantCat
  • My friend found out at her baby shower. I have the whole thing on video and it was wonderful! Her mom knew so she was able to buy gender specific present, but I had no issues buying a present. I also didn't feel manipulated into buying a certain type of present. 


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  • BigboobsmcgeeBigboobsmcgee member
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    edited February 2016
    I think it's only appropriate if the parents are finding out at the same time as everyone else. I appreciate the fact that it's not a separate party, but I still think it is kind of AWy to make such a big deal about how the baby will pee. 
    Major eye roll. You really think the only point in finding out the sex is to know how they will pee?That's awfully negative.

     

    NESeattlite
  • I think it's only appropriate if the parents are finding out at the same time as everyone else. I appreciate the fact that it's not a separate party, but I still think it is kind of AWy to make such a big deal about how the baby will pee. 
    Major eye roll. You really think the only point in finding out the sex is to know how they will pee?That's awfully negative.
    Do you really not have a problem with a party to reveal baby's sex where the parents already know? Honestly wondering. 



         
                            
     
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  • One of my friends is thinking about doing a sex reveal at her baby shower AFTER she finds out.  She actually specified manipulating gifts as the reason.  She was super early when she said that, so I'm hoping the closer we get to the shower she will change her mind.  It's so hard to call out etiquette fails to someone's face IRL.
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  • I guess I don't understand the manipulation of gifts. How does that work or how did she think that would work @antoto

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  • I guess I don't understand the manipulation of gifts. How does that work or how did she think that would work @antoto
    "If they don't know the sex then people won't buy us gender specific gifts"
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  • Okay. I just don't see that as a huge issue. I thought maybe she was thinking that if she didn't tell the sex, they'd not buy clothes and focus on more expensive things.

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  • I'm only a tiny bit confused about the potential manipulation-- because even if folks are aware of the sex of your kid you can still get some cute neutral things too. For my shower with my daughter everyone knew the sex and I got some gender specific pink and frilly things, but they also knew me and my love for woodland creatures and neutral themes. I got some adorable neutral things too. So, if your friends and family know you and your preferences-- I'm pretty sure its not a huge deal if you know the sex before a reveal.

    I will probably do a reveal and I will most likely know what sex I'm having before everyone else. They don't have to know that and I won't advertise that I know. It won't be a party or anything like that, but probably a cute series of pictures or a video. If you do a reveal at the shower the presents are already bought, so I am not sure how its a manipulative tactic. You might get the same stuff anyway. Folks will buy what they will buy?

    If someone is tacky enough to admit that they are intentionally manipulating their guests with sex information about their unborn kid, well then there is more going on with that particular person anyway.


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    DrillSergeantCatDisneyIsabelle
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  • I'm only a tiny bit confused about the potential manipulation-- because even if folks are aware of the sex of your kid you can still get some cute neutral things too. For my shower with my daughter everyone knew the sex and I got some gender specific pink and frilly things, but they also knew me and my love for woodland creatures and neutral themes. I got some adorable neutral things too. So, if your friends and family know you and your preferences-- I'm pretty sure its not a huge deal if you know the sex before a reveal.

    I will probably do a reveal and I will most likely know what sex I'm having before everyone else. They don't have to know that and I won't advertise that I know. It won't be a party or anything like that, but probably a cute series of pictures or a video. If you do a reveal at the shower the presents are already bought, so I am not sure how its a manipulative tactic. You might get the same stuff anyway. Folks will buy what they will buy?

    If someone is tacky enough to admit that they are intentionally manipulating their guests with sex information about their unborn kid, well then there is more going on with that particular person anyway.
    You know it probably comes down to WHY you are waiting until the shower to inform your guests.  Is it because you genuinely want to see their reactions, or is it because you genuinely want more control over the gifts they get you?  I could be overly cynical here, but I think for many people it's the later.  I think in cases where it's the person trying to control the presents it just seems sneaky and dishonest.  Not a great feeling to get from someone you're trying to buy a gift for.
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    Sassenach1743
  • antoto said:
    I'm only a tiny bit confused about the potential manipulation-- because even if folks are aware of the sex of your kid you can still get some cute neutral things too. For my shower with my daughter everyone knew the sex and I got some gender specific pink and frilly things, but they also knew me and my love for woodland creatures and neutral themes. I got some adorable neutral things too. So, if your friends and family know you and your preferences-- I'm pretty sure its not a huge deal if you know the sex before a reveal.

    I will probably do a reveal and I will most likely know what sex I'm having before everyone else. They don't have to know that and I won't advertise that I know. It won't be a party or anything like that, but probably a cute series of pictures or a video. If you do a reveal at the shower the presents are already bought, so I am not sure how its a manipulative tactic. You might get the same stuff anyway. Folks will buy what they will buy?

    If someone is tacky enough to admit that they are intentionally manipulating their guests with sex information about their unborn kid, well then there is more going on with that particular person anyway.
    You know it probably comes down to WHY you are waiting until the shower to inform your guests.  Is it because you genuinely want to see their reactions, or is it because you genuinely want more control over the gifts they get you?  I could be overly cynical here, but I think for many people it's the later.  I think in cases where it's the person trying to control the presents it just seems sneaky and dishonest.  Not a great feeling to get from someone you're trying to buy a gift for.

    @antoto   Not sure if your question was to me, or to people that attempt to manipulate the gifts they receive. For us, finding out at the shower along with our guests was a way for us to find out at the same time as our closest friends and family. Specifically our moms because both live in Florida (we live in Ohio) and they will be in town for the shower. It also seems like it would be a fun twist on a traditional shower, since it's a surprise that everyone will be finding out (including us) what baby will be. 
    Bigboobsmcgee
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  • LDSJM123 said:
    antoto said:
    I'm only a tiny bit confused about the potential manipulation-- because even if folks are aware of the sex of your kid you can still get some cute neutral things too. For my shower with my daughter everyone knew the sex and I got some gender specific pink and frilly things, but they also knew me and my love for woodland creatures and neutral themes. I got some adorable neutral things too. So, if your friends and family know you and your preferences-- I'm pretty sure its not a huge deal if you know the sex before a reveal.

    I will probably do a reveal and I will most likely know what sex I'm having before everyone else. They don't have to know that and I won't advertise that I know. It won't be a party or anything like that, but probably a cute series of pictures or a video. If you do a reveal at the shower the presents are already bought, so I am not sure how its a manipulative tactic. You might get the same stuff anyway. Folks will buy what they will buy?

    If someone is tacky enough to admit that they are intentionally manipulating their guests with sex information about their unborn kid, well then there is more going on with that particular person anyway.
    You know it probably comes down to WHY you are waiting until the shower to inform your guests.  Is it because you genuinely want to see their reactions, or is it because you genuinely want more control over the gifts they get you?  I could be overly cynical here, but I think for many people it's the later.  I think in cases where it's the person trying to control the presents it just seems sneaky and dishonest.  Not a great feeling to get from someone you're trying to buy a gift for.

    @antoto   Not sure if your question was to me, or to people that attempt to manipulate the gifts they receive. For us, finding out at the shower along with our guests was a way for us to find out at the same time as our closest friends and family. Specifically our moms because both live in Florida (we live in Ohio) and they will be in town for the shower. It also seems like it would be a fun twist on a traditional shower, since it's a surprise that everyone will be finding out (including us) what baby will be. 
    Oh, @LDSJM123 I wasn't referencing you at all.  I think if you find out at the same time as your guests it's really sweet :)  I would love to be at a shower like that!
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    LDSJM123
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  • jwg9101 said:
    My mind is so blown by this post and many others! It never would have crossed my mind to manipulate people into buying gifts and I would never think that about any of our friends if they were pregnant and having a shower. Am I naive or do people really do this? I'm brand new to the world of babies and showers so I'm just shocked as hell! :) I'd love to go to a shower where the sex was revealed! And I would buy whatever I wanted for the baby and the mama because I love them both. It's that simple for me!!!
    Yeah unfortunately people DO these things to manipulate their guests - even if it's not intentionally malicious or rude... it is sneaky and in the end they are trying to control the gifts people buy for them.  It's a huge bummer when that happens.  It would be great if everyone was like you... but that just isn't the case.  I would also love to see a sex reveal, but I don't want it to happen if the parents are just doing it for some ulterior motive.  Sex reveals are so fun and sweet!  How lame would it be for someone to use that special moment to manipulate people?
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  • ecwk said:
    I think it's only appropriate if the parents are finding out at the same time as everyone else. I appreciate the fact that it's not a separate party, but I still think it is kind of AWy to make such a big deal about how the baby will pee. 
    Major eye roll. You really think the only point in finding out the sex is to know how they will pee?That's awfully negative.
    Do you really not have a problem with a party to reveal baby's sex where the parents already know? Honestly wondering. 

    I do think it's lame if the parents already know but that's not what Negative Nancy above is saying. I hate when people rip on others for being excited over the sex of their unborn baby or act like they are too cool to care (that's exactly how it comes across). Finding out the sex is pretty fun for lots of people, for many different reasons. It's cool if you don't care, but don't claim people just want attention because they get excited over it.  

     

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