Please help :( feeling really embarrassed!

ashleighjade90

I'm feeling really embarrassed tonight as I have so much pressure down there and constantly feel like I need a wee/poo.
It's so embarrassing as I'm really unsettled and don't want to tell ny partner what is wrong with me. Anyone else have this? It's driving me mad I really can't settle at all

ecwk

Sorry you're feeling like this. You shouldn't be embarrassed, it's just pregnancy. Hopefully your partner is ok with this because if he's going to be present when you give birth it might be slightly more graphic than you telling him you need to poop/pee.
If you can't get any relief, ask your doctor about it. Pregnancy can be uncomfortable, unfortunately!!

ashleighjade90

It's driving me mad he actually doesn't care about anything but I'm really shy when it comes to personal stuff which Is ridiculous I know haha. Really can't settle tonight got such bad stomach cramps and been for a wee 10 times in half hour!

Mamabeagle

Yes sometimes I have to go pee or poop a lot in a short few hour period too. It's okay, just do what you need to do and if you get diarrhea drink lots of fluids.

ashleighjade90

I know this is a really silly question to ask but it's my first baby so im unsure about everything. Am I okay to have a hot water bottle on my stomach to help with my cramps or will it harm the baby? I'm really sorry if that sounds ridiculous

suchaglencoco

Yup, giving birth will really help you breakthrough your shyness. Honestly, you should start now to try and break through your barriers and get more comfortable being open with your partner. Pregnancy is bad, then the birth and post birth is also gross for a few weeks.

I have no shame with my husband, haven't since a month into our relationship and it's amazing, wouldn't want it any other way.

GraysonsMama

ashleighjade90 said:

I know this is a really silly question to ask but it's my first baby so im unsure about everything. Am I okay to have a hot water bottle on my stomach to help with my cramps or will it harm the baby? I'm really sorry if that sounds ridiculous

Hi, not a stupid question. I was told you can use a hot water bottle on your back but to avoid the stomach area. And remember not to leave it in too long, about 15 minutes at a time.

mamacastro

Like pp said don't put anything too hot on your stomach, baby can get too hot and it could be unsafe

Mamabeagle

ashleighjade90 said:

I know this is a really silly question to ask but it's my first baby so im unsure about everything. Am I okay to have a hot water bottle on my stomach to help with my cramps or will it harm the baby? I'm really sorry if that sounds ridiculous

I use my heating pad. It's more of a concern in early pregnancy and even then only if it increases your core temperature.

PrimRoseMama

Use a warm bath (not constant heat that can raise your core temp). Have you been screened for a bladder infection or UTI? Those can cause the discomfort you feel & contractions/cramping.

Also, have you passed stool in the last 24-48 hours? Constipation can cause serious pressure on the bladder too. If you have some colace at your disposal I would use some & some coffee. You could just need to take a good dump.

I would contact your doctor & ask them to run a urinalysis to clear you of any infection. I hope it's nothing serious & you can get some relief soon!

PS-- if you lay on your side & have your partner rub your back that can help with pain.

PPS-- if you lean forward & gently lift your bump as you urinate that can allow more throughout evacuation of the bladder.

g8trkim

Ditto what PPs said about taking care of the discomfort.

I know it's hard, but you should really try to be more open with your SO. Things get very real during birth and also afterward. You will need his help so try to put yourself out there a bit more.

ccoleeman

May be way off, but were you the poster asking about eating laundry soap flakes about a month ago?
I suggest following the PPs advice, but also finding a midwife, OB or even a friend who is a mom to confide in and get a lot of these questions answered so you don't have to rely on internet strangers. Cultivating those other personal relationships will help you feel more secure, more confident about your experience, and thus make it easier to share with your SO

suchaglencoco

ccoleeman said:

May be way off, but were you the poster asking about eating laundry soap flakes about a month ago?

For real? Someone inquired about this???




Eta- Yup, you were correct it is the same poster.
OP, I hope you have gotten that soap eating under control and found a new doctor.

ashleighjade90

My eating soap is well under control now. To ease my cravings I swill it round my mouth and spit it out. I know that sounds disgusting but when you need to do something it's hard to just ignore it. As fo my doctor I haven't been to him since then!!! And don't intend to have any further appointments.

Thank you all for the advice, yeah I have been to the toilet. The hot water bottle really helped me last night and had a really deep sleep the other half even slept downstairs cause I was snoring haha. Feeling so much better today and the cramps have eased right off.

I'm just really fed up now and feel ready to give birth, I'm not even that big but I've been ill al through my pregnancy wetter it's been low on iron, dehydrated and even poisoned by my craving. Everyone else I know seems to have it really easy. I suppose it will all be worth it in the end

DrillSergeantCat

So  you're now receiving no prenatal care?

ashleighjade90

I see my midwife as an wheh I need to. But not been to my doctor for advice on anything

DrillSergeantCat

ashleighjade90 said:

I see my midwife as an wheh I need to. But not been to my doctor for advice on anything

Okay. I thought you weren't getting any care at all. That's a relief.

ashleighjade90

Oh no I go to my midwife although I think it's pointless as last time I went she said my iron was low but not low enough to put me on medication then she said she would test it again to see if it's better for next time so I said it's probably worse cause I've been stomaching less to eat but she said she would let me know at my NEXT midwife appointment which isn't until the 19th January. They don't really seem to care much at all!!!

DrillSergeantCat

ashleighjade90 said:

Oh no I go to my midwife although I think it's pointless as last time I went she said my iron was low but not low enough to put me on medication then she said she would test it again to see if it's better for next time so I said it's probably worse cause I've been stomaching less to eat but she said she would let me know at my NEXT midwife appointment which isn't until the 19th January. They don't really seem to care much at all!!!

Sometimes the best treatment is no treatment. If your iron isn't low enough to really worry about, that's good. Iron tablets cause constipation, constipation causes hemorrhoids, hemorrhoids just plain suck. I feel like every appointment with my OB is pointless...go in, weigh, blood pressure, ask about meds, ask about leaking, doctor comes in and ask if I have any questions, then says see you in 2 weeks. However, if something were wrong, these silly seeming appointments is when they'd find it. 

Krisdee123

Hmmmmmmmmm.

ashleighjade90

Do you go every two weeks? Mine are every four weeks

DrillSergeantCat

ashleighjade90 said:

Do you go every two weeks? Mine are every four weeks

Around 32 weeks you should switch to every 2 weeks, then at 36 it should switch to weekly.

ashleighjade90

My last appointment t was when I was 32 weeks and my next one is when I will be 36 weeks!!!

DrillSergeantCat

ashleighjade90 said:

My last appointment t was when I was 32 weeks and my next one is when I will be 36 weeks!!!

I guess that's the difference between our healthcare systems.

ashleighjade90

Really fed up. I work for the national health service and have always thought highly of it: until I became pregnant!

PrimRoseMama

I would stop the consumption-- in any way, of the laundry soap. It's just not a good idea. Even if you swish & spit-- you are still ingesting trace amounts. That's poison & not meant for ingesting at all. Your symptoms may stem from this. If you stop see if you can't find some relief. I'm thinking that if you don't do that you might see improvement.

PrimRoseMama

https://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/002777.htm

The corrosive additives could be causing you harm. Really, I speak out of concern because you can have organ damage.

ashleighjade90

I used to eat it all the time when I was a child if I ever got lost in the local supermarket I'd be found down the wash powder Isle. How are you meant to stop your cravings it's so hard! And makes me really restless when I try not to do it.

strlitemiss

A mental health professional can help you with your cravings.

sarahufl

ashleighjade90 said:

I used to eat it all the time when I was a child if I ever got lost in the local supermarket I'd be found down the wash powder Isle. How are you meant to stop your cravings it's so hard! And makes me really restless when I try not to do it.

I am assuming you are being serious about eating laundry soap, in which case I have many, many questions.

But I would absolutely recommend you see a psychologist or some mental health professional. That is not a normal behavior.

suchaglencoco

ashleighjade90 said:

I used to eat it all the time when I was a child if I ever got lost in the local supermarket I'd be found down the wash powder Isle. How are you meant to stop your cravings it's so hard! And makes me really restless when I try not to do it.

I didn't want to smoke cigarettes anymore so I quit. I stopped giving into my cravings because it was the best thing for my health. You just do what you have to do.
I am going to second seeking a professional's help.

ashleighjade90

Going to see a consultant at the end of this month so hopefully he will sort me out. As of today I am 5 days soap powder free!

jenniferamcooper

@ashleighjade90 has anyone mentioned that you probably have pica. Ask your doctor to have your iron and other minerals checked.

It might not be a mental disorder we learned in developmental psych (I think?) about this and how for children it can be due to a variety of mental health issues but for pregnancy it's usually related to nutrition deficiencies like iron.

ashleighjade90

I had my iron tested at my previous midwife appointment and she advised me to eat more foods high in iron as it was border line but not low enough to offer me medication for it. Could that be why?

ambercakes92

ashleighjade90 said:

I had my iron tested at my previous midwife appointment and she advised me to eat more foods high in iron as it was border line but not low enough to offer me medication for it. Could that be why?

It could definitely be pica, but for you it sounds very compulsive (since it's something you've done over the course of your life). I think seeing a therapist of some sort would be beneficial to you.

ashleighjade90

Thank you it's nice for people to actually take me seriously rather then having the stupid comments asif I mean to do it.
Actually gives me such bad heartburn. I'm seeing my midwife in two weeks but might make a doctor's appointment before then as it's something that I'd really like to get sorted. My partner thinks I'm ever so strange doing it

PrimRoseMama

ashleighjade90 said:

Thank you it's nice for people to actually take me seriously rather then having the stupid comments asif I mean to do it. Actually gives me such bad heartburn. I'm seeing my midwife in two weeks but might make a doctor's appointment before then as it's something that I'd really like to get sorted. My partner thinks I'm ever so strange doing it

I would be concerned about the heartburn. I'm not going to flame you. I just worry about your health etc. The caustic agents in the laundry soap are really bad news. I am so happy that you've been working on the addiction and are seeing a professional. Can you ask your provider about iron drops? My son takes the Novaferum brand drops for low iron. You can mix them into smoothies. If you go with the drops make sure to use a straw because sometimes iron supplements can stain your teeth. Also, make sure you get some colace and drink your water by the liter-- iron supplements can back you up. Good luck. I truly wish you the best as you go through this.

ashleighjade90

My partner said about buying iron suppliments over the counter but I didn't know if this would be a bad idea as the doctor or midwife hasn't advised me too? Do you think I should be buying them? It's so hard as it's my first pregnancy and everyone tells yiu different things you just don't know what to do for the best. But I do know I need to stop with the wash powder as it's embarrassing aswell as not good for the baby or me!

dramaphile

ashleighjade90 said:

My partner said about buying iron suppliments over the counter but I didn't know if this would be a bad idea as the doctor or midwife hasn't advised me too? Do you think I should be buying them? It's so hard as it's my first pregnancy and everyone tells yiu different things you just don't know what to do for the best. But I do know I need to stop with the wash powder as it's embarrassing aswell as not good for the baby or me!

Are you taking a prenatal vitamin already? If not, start with that, it contains extra iron. If you're already taking a prenatal with iron, then talk to your medical provider. In meantime, try adding extra iron to your diet: beans and nuts/nut butters, dark chocolate, dark leafy greens like Kale, red meat, etc.

jenniferamcooper

@ashleighjade90 pica can happen at any time. It may be compulsive because you've been mineral deficient for so long. I can't remember if you've mentioned this to your midwife yet, if not you definitely should. She can reccomend the amount of iron you should be taking, you might not be getting enough from a multivitamin or a prenatal.

If she knows you're having issues with laundry soap AND your iron was low I'd maybe consider asking a 2nd opinion, those are two big warning flags that she's maybe not taking you seriously. Just because you're on the threshold for low iron doesn't mean your body may be needing it so much you're finding alternative sources.

As for the heartburn, I'm pretty sure most people here are having it, again I'd mention it to get because of the soap thing but likely you need some Zantac.

Knottie4978096

Ladies, the laundry soap ingestion is a form of pica and can't be controlled by "just choosing to quit". Pregnancy exacerbates this condition for those who suffer with it and often the treatments fail. This is something that doctors see (there are pregnant women who ingest all kinds of non-food items) but is extremely difficult to control - usually is treated with medications used with OCD. But stop being so hard on her for the laundry soap and be thankful you don't have this affliction.