Unwelcome comments - Page 2 — The Bump
June 2016 Moms

Unwelcome comments

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Re: Unwelcome comments

  • Love4Labs326  I volunteer one free throat punch to your MIL.

    • My SIL told me my butt is getting bigger which annoyed me because I'm ridiculously weight-conscious right now.
    • When we announced the pregnancy, a very distant cousin messaged me asking if I even wanted a baby right now (implying it was a mistake). I'm 21 with a job and apartment. It wasn't planned, but it wasn't an "Oh shit" either.
    • MIL making rude comments about name choices.
    • My all-time favorite (not really) so far is all the douchebags who insist on telling me I'm having a girl when I've made it clear that BF and I are hoping for a boy. Maybe that's petty and of course we'll be happy with either, but it's annoying to have people say "You're gonna have a girl" for the sole intention of annoying me.


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    Grapes13ScoutPout
  • I was talking to the MIL who has a history of saying rude and unkind things to me. But I've been trying really hard to mend some patches in our relationship. I usually keep things to myself around her. But we were having a great conversation and so I confided in her about my DH going to start talking to a counselor about his drinking at my request. His parents know he struggles with drinking issues and they both have problems themselves. I have been extremely patient with these problems. But with our second on the way I told him he needed to figure this out for his family.... Well immediately MIL said to me, "I wish you would have thought about this before you got pregnant. That's so stupid!" Then when I told her he wasn't drinking for months until I was already pregnant. She got mad, got up and said it upset her to talk about it and she needed to go to bed. The rest of our time with his family she was so mean to me and kept taking up for my DH constantly!! I have learned my lesson to never open up to her again... She always makes me feel the worst about myself. I'm done trying. Lol sorry rant over!!
    ScoutPout
  • I have yet to tell my family about my pregnancy and I am now 16wks 4 days.... they don't make an effort to come see me and my 2 born children and I do try to call but they seem.to just push me away saying they are busy and will call back later, they never do.... :( but I'm honestly fine with them not knowing I already have 2 and my parents think that that's enough for me. We planned this baby and we are more than ready for it that's all that matters to us.
  • When I was 9 months pregnant with my second little boy a horrible coworker came up to me, her jaw dropped and she exclaimed "you're HUGE!!!!!"
    I told her that was rude but I don't recall what else I said honestly. I just know she walked away looking like I'd hurt her feelings. Wtf.
    Rawa1416UseTheTriforce94ScoutPout
  • We had a family get together yesterday and my sweet little old aunt told me I sure was showing a lot for 15 weeks.It wasn't exactly negative but I've really popped over my two week break from work. I'm slightly overweight and even though I've not gained much, it's all in my belly. I finally decided to go to work Monday and not try to hide my bump. But after her comment, I'm nervous for some reason. I'm not upset by what she said, it just has me second guessing letting the cat out of the bag for all my co-workers and students. Like I need to hide my bump until it's "appropriate". And trust me, unless I start wearing my husbands clothes, there is no hiding anymore. 

  • I'm actually kind of over the belly-shaming. I think people are just trying to be nice, but constantly telling me that I don't have a bump yet (even though I clearly do compared to what I looked like pre-pregnancy) is really annoying. "Oh you BARELY show". "You just look gassy." Thanks, friends, no really, thanks.
    ScoutPout
  • Man some of you have had horrific comments. What is wrong with people?!?

    I've had one "was this an oops?" Comment from an Aunt I barely speak to. It was annoying. I told her if she had ever showed any interest in my life she would've known this was planned.

    I've had a few minor comments about my appearance that I haven't loved but also haven't been completely offensive.

    But in what world do people think that's appropriate?? Just because someone is pregnant doesn't I've you permission to say shit to them that would be rude at any other point in life...
    Grapes13UseTheTriforce94ScoutPout
  • @26pointrunningfor2 it drove me NUTS with my first with people constantly telling me I wasn't showing even when I was early in my third trimester. Thanks for just thinking that I normally look like I have an enormous belly, everybody. Glad to know this is your mental image of me 100% of the time.
    26pointrunningfor2mrsb8244
  • I didn't think people making comments about not having a bump yet would bother me but I got my first "oh wow, you're still wearing normal jeans?!?" comment and it actually really bothered me. I'm only 15 weeks and this is my first baby, I was under the impression that it was normal to not be really showing yet thank you very much.





    UseTheTriforce94ScoutPout
  • I didn't think people making comments about not having a bump yet would bother me but I got my first "oh wow, you're still wearing normal jeans?!?" comment and it actually really bothered me. I'm only 15 weeks and this is my first baby, I was under the impression that it was normal to not be really showing yet thank you very much.
    I've had the opposite problem. This is my first pregnancy and I'm already showing a lot. People keep asking "Is this your second?? Normally firs time mom's aren't showing this much!" 

    Thanks.... As if I'm not self-conscious enough about looking like I'm 6 months pregnant at 4 months...
    ScoutPout
  • My husband actually had one at church today..I skipped to visit my grandma at the nursing home, and a lady was asking DH about how I was doing and how far along we were. She proceeded in telling him about a friend who lost her baby right around the same week we are at (18 weeks) and what the baby looked like and all the graphic details about her loss. Just goes to show that the unwanted comments aren't just directed to mommy's.... Daddy's get them too!
    NLewis1
  • Wow! I don't even understand what is wrong with people. If I don't comment on your weight (whether you're thin or heavy) you shouldn't comment on mine!

    I haven't had many negative comments but one that made me turn my head was DH's aunt asked me at 10 weeks if I had felt the baby move and when I said no she acted like that was outrageous. First of all I'm a nurse and I've done plenty of research on pregnancy so luckily I knew that wasn't expected for quite a while otherwise I would've been really worried! She is also a nurse and had 2 kids (granted it was a while ago).

    Another comment from one of DH's other aunts: she asked if we were going to find out if baby was a boy or girl and I said yes. She then proceeded to tell me if she ever had kids she wouldn't find out and basically give me her unwanted opinion on finding out. She's never had any kids and is in her late 40's or maybe even 50 by now...if you would've had kids you would've been entitled to not find out but this is DH and I's baby and we will find out. Thanks for your opinion...not!
  • MrsB8214 said:


    Another comment from one of DH's other aunts: she asked if we were going to find out if baby was a boy or girl and I said yes. She then proceeded to tell me if she ever had kids she wouldn't find out and basically give me her unwanted opinion on finding out. She's never had any kids and is in her late 40's or maybe even 50 by now...if you would've had kids you would've been entitled to not find out but this is DH and I's baby and we will find out. Thanks for your opinion...not!

    I totally forgot about that! Everyone has been asking us if we plan to find out to which we've been saying we think so and immediately everyone jumps right to "its your first baby so the sex doesn't matter so why find out?". I get that we didnt give them a firm " yes" but then they proceed to start asking everyone else to back them up which just isn't cool.





    mrsb8244ahernandez16
  • @candicek15 -- I hear that completely. I'm on the fence about finding out the sex and I have friends who keep mentioning how much easier it was for people to shop for them for showers. Even if we find out the sex, I might deliberately keep it a secret just so I don't end up with a ton of blue/pink stuff. Gender neutral colours are pretty! I like greens and yellows and neutrals! Haha.
    mrsb8244candicek15lynnernon
  • @MsBeachNJ That's great advice, thanks.
    MsBeachNJ
  • Before we found out, I had a ton of people ask whether we were hoping for a boy vs girl. TBH I had a preference, but I always said "we just hope it's healthy". It's not like you can do anything about the gender- it is what it is and was determined at conception
  • @candicek15 -- I hear that completely. I'm on the fence about finding out the sex and I have friends who keep mentioning how much easier it was for people to shop for them for showers. Even if we find out the sex, I might deliberately keep it a secret just so I don't end up with a ton of blue/pink stuff. Gender neutral colours are pretty! I like greens and yellows and neutrals! Haha.
    Most people have registries, so I don't understand how it's easier. I know some people like to get personalized gifts, but there are a lot of things that are needed- and most can be used for subsequent children who may not be the same sex as the first. And most people don't have showers for second babies, so moms and dads want to reuse the stuff from the first baby!

    I just started my registry, and we don't know what we are having yet. It doesn't really matter because I picked out things that could be used for a baby girl or boy. And we plan to do our nursery with an animal theme. I have half a mind to put in the registry comments that we want gender neutral items. If we have a boy I'm not as worried, but if we have a girl, I know people will buy all pink things (ugh).



    candicek15
  • Someone I know did a low-key cake reveal at her baby shower, mostly so she wouldn't get gifts that are all clothes. She's a friend of my friends so I didn't go, but they were all mad they couldn't buy outfits. I was glad the poor woman didn't get 1000 outfits from my friends! That way people knew and she could plan, but she got gifts that would be more useful. I'm team green and those same friends keep complaining.
    MsBeachNJ
  • @joose159 I'm here for you girl. that's my problem. FTM and I'm showing quite a bit and ive gained some weight. And the fat comments just roll in haha especially from coworkers. It's hurtful some days but others I try to ignore them. Some people some spend time trying to rain on someone else's happy moment. I think it's flattering when people tell me I'm barely showing. But I'm at 16 weeks and even I've noticed its no longer a small fluctuation but definitely a BUMP lol.
    berky84
  • vulpinivulpini
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    edited January 2016
    @candicek15 -- I hear that completely. I'm on the fence about finding out the sex and I have friends who keep mentioning how much easier it was for people to shop for them for showers. Even if we find out the sex, I might deliberately keep it a secret just so I don't end up with a ton of blue/pink stuff. Gender neutral colours are pretty! I like greens and yellows and neutrals! Haha.
    Most people have registries, so I don't understand how it's easier. I know some people like to get personalized gifts, but there are a lot of things that are needed- and most can be used for subsequent children who may not be the same sex as the first. And most people don't have showers for second babies, so moms and dads want to reuse the stuff from the first baby!

    I just started my registry, and we don't know what we are having yet. It doesn't really matter because I picked out things that could be used for a baby girl or boy. And we plan to do our nursery with an animal theme. I have half a mind to put in the registry comments that we want gender neutral items. If we have a boy I'm not as worried, but if we have a girl, I know people will buy all pink things (ugh).

    Not to mention how much faster/easier it is to resell baby gear when you're done with it if it's green with giraffes instead of pink with butterflies.
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    candicek15
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