I feel like I'm losing my mind here. Spawn doesn't sleep like the average infant. Today was way worse than usual, only two naps lasting longer than 20 minutes, but most days he manages to be up for about 2 1/2-4 hours before powering down for around two hours. He's easier to put to sleep at night but even then if I manage to put him down without him realizing it, it's still only for two hours at most. Basically I'm at the end of my rope here.
He's EBF and I don't drink tons of caffeine. He seems to be going through the awesome PURPLE crying period so he cries during the awake periods, but he'll also spend a chunk of the time fairly content.
I started him on the Gerber Soothe drops tonight so I'm hoping they work, but anyway...
What do you do to help put your overtired baby to sleep?
I know normal is BS, but does anyone have experience with am infant that spends most of their time awake?
Basically - I need a fresh perspective on what I can do and some reassurance that this will pass.
Re: Overtired Baby Syndrome
I got through it by using some tricks that I knew could help keep him down for longer stretches during the day. I always found that if he slept well during the day he would start to give better and longer stretches at night despite the night fussy period.
Does your son fall asleep in the car? I would take a long drive to knock him out for at least 20 minutes before returning home to carefully unload him. There were days when I did this two or three times (morning, afternoon and late afternoon/early evening). Just setup a baby mirror to know for sure he is asleep. I would also let him sleep on me during the day if I did get him to sleep knowing a transfer could be a death sentence. It sucked, but it doubled nap times and got me to at least 40-60 minutes of DS sleeping.
At night (9-10pm on) dim all lights in the room you're in and turn down the volume on any entertainment (TV or radio). Limit conversation with DS and don't really engage him even if he is crying (which will happen no matter daytime sleep). We would swaddle and shush from 9pm on, but no other interaction. This will help him more with the "night is for sleep" part.
DS improved after a few weeks. He definitely went through the witching hour and would scream from 5/6-10 no matter what, but better day sleep meant when he did crash it wasn't as bad.
Ideas from Felicity and I:
So we CONSTANTLY changed up noise- dryer noise, white noise mixed with ocean, blow dryer on the real shitty nights the vacuum noise worked but I have a tough time sleeping through that. We layered sounds using the sleep pillow app. I have a couple playlists on Spotify I can share with you if you want music wise, both lullabies and mainstream chill music. We did knees to chest and bicycles. Past that a lot of trading off with eachother- and remember NO expectations- I coped the best by acknowledging no matter how much I planned or tried, my baby just isn't predictable in that state.
She did grow out of it if that's any comfort at all! Unfortunately the only way i could catch her before she became over tired was to hold her during nap times. Which is inconvenient and annoying (especially as I had a 2 year old at the time!) but I used to either sit down and cuddle her or have her in a sling whilst I did things in the day. At night, the thing that I found helped was a really soft blue night light, so if she woke up she was able to see me. I almost lost my shit during this time though, it's so hard not getting proper sleep and walking around like a zombie. Eventually I gave up EBF at night and she would have pumped milk, so that my DH could help.
If none of the advice you get helps, please know that time will be your friend! Before you know it, you'll be freaking out trying to get him out of bed and ready for school in time and he will just be ignoring you and snoring away!
I've noticed that days where I hold Zeke more, he sleeps a little better at night. I get nothing done during the day because I have to hold him but at least he's a little more restful at night now. I'll usually try to have him sleep on his own for one nap so I can at least get something done but even then he doesn't always stay asleep.
I have to regularly switch up little things of how I put him to sleep because he gets wise to the fact that something like a certain white noise sound puts him to sleep and he was fighting sleep so he'd get upset.
Right now he won't calm down or fall asleep for me. He will for others but not for me. Not even nursing to sleep. Sucks so much.
If I walk around for 5 minutes mine passes out right away.
And facing out isn't very good for their hips. You can back carrier but they need to have very good head control first.
My dd gets overtired too and was up from 1-5am last night. But she slept the entire day away. Literally slept from 5am-11pm only waking up to eat and for diapers. She is 10 weeks now and like what a pp mentioned if all her needs have been met and she is still crying even though I am holding her, I let her cry it out for 15 minutes and she falls asleep on her own in her crib. I know that method is not ideal for everyone not even me but I was so sleep deprived and desperate. Also, I find that giving her a bath helps calm her down for the night. Hope this helps! I'm with you at the end of my ropes and it's so hard on week days when I have to get her to daycare before work on 3-4 hours of sleep...that is the worse and coffee is my best friend! The only way I get through the day. Hang in there!
@doodleoodle I had the same issues when I first started. I use the moby and the ergo. I have learned to move and bounce a bit to keep Lo from fussing initially. She also has to be in a good mood...shoving unhappy baby into the carrier is traumatic for all involved!
If LO is yawning I'll preemptively get her into it and finish up some funny faces and looking in the mirror with her to avoid getting to the point of her being overly tired. Once asleep she sleeps so soundly I always have to rouse her.
DS is still just 4.5 weeks so we don't have much of a routine but I still watch for yawns and take action.
Those early cues can be subtle but if you pay close attention for a few days you'll see what they are for your LO.
You signed up to be a parent and that includes night time parenting.
Hope your little man gets better soon...for your sake and his!
For OP, I would certainly recommend some type of routine for the day, as well as a bedtime routine. I'm having excellent luck w nighttime sleeping, but I, too, am having some trouble w naps. I appreciate the advice on this thread and plan to try some of the tricks suggested. I just started baby wearing today, and it was pretty amazing. LO is actually down for a nap right now after I wore him for about 30 mins.
Although I just did some research (aka alert enough to google) and realized that this is the peak of fussiness AND a growth spurt. No wonder my entire household is miserable.
At this age infants should be able to eat on demand which may fluctuate with their body demands. LO will naturally start sleeping longer at night once they put on some weight and their stomachs get a little bigger.
The NICU runs on a 3 hour schedule of changing and feeding as do many day cares, so I think that's why the author suggests it.
You want to "train" your 6 month old, ok. Maybe. But a new baby, that's just cruel.
Your response comes off as incredibly condescending for someone who doesn't want others to be "judgmental". Many STMs are well equipped to offer advice and encouragement on raising children as ohhhh...we have already done this. Women come here for support and asking for advice and many of us are happy to offer it up. A month old baby not sleeping through the night or not being on a "schedule" are far from medical issues. So yeahhhh... We are well equipped to chime in just as your pediatrician and books by "experts" can have an opinion too. So let me ask you, if you have a male OB and he tells you how your vagina should feel, does that overrule your actual experience with a vagina simply because he is a medical professional and your are not?
I'm all for going to the medical experts when necessary, but not everything in life can be explained by a book or someone with a medical degree. People sometimes put too much stock in folks with a flashy piece of paper and ignore intuition, experience and common sense.
My son is just under 12 lbs at 4.5 weeks. He's nowhere near ready.
Also waking at night is more than about food. It's about comfort too. Babies need comfort around the clock.