GTKY: The Holy Grail of Cervical Mucus: The good, the bad and the very very TMI

lickastick

I hope I caught your eye with that one and lured you in We have some new folks here so lets do a GTKY...Hello there folks!!!! And we need some spice and life on this board (I love this board the most of the all!)

The following is way TMI than any sane person should share with internet strangers, yet you all will be the only ones who will "get it." Today I had the holy grail of cervical mucus, absolutely perfect, copious egg white CM and in perfect sync with ovulation. This is the first time I have had such an occurrence since we started TTC. I can't believe how excited I am for something so silly, but that is exactly what TTC will do to you. 

So here is how we play- answer the following questions however you choose:

1. What is something you swore you would never do, but ended up doing anyway because TTC make us BSC (bat sh$T crazy)?

2. What is the craziest "conversation" you have had in your head about TTC, that you might not have shared with your SO(sig.other)?

3. What have your learned about you character since TTC that you wish someone would award you a medal for?

4. What advice would you give yourself if you could go back to your first month TTC and give yourself advice?

5. Share anything TMI that you have been dying to share but have held back until now. 

lickastick

1. What is something you swore you would never do, but ended up doing anyway because TTC make us BSC (bat sh$T crazy)?

I kind of promised myself that I wouldn't BD for TTC without being in the mood, and yet just this morning (TMI) and many other times I have "pushed through it" during the FW. Yet still no BFP. I wonder if I held out and only BD when I really felt into it, or was in the mood, would I have more success? All those times I didn't really want to BD and no BFP. hmmmmmmmm....

2. What is the craziest "conversation" you have had in your head about TTC, that you might not have shared with your SO(sig.other)?

 At my mayan abdominal massage yesterday I went into this whole line of thinking of what would my life be like without children, what could be good about that? I thought about travel and creating the perfect house, and sleep and sleep and lots of relaxation time. Part of me is trying to protect myself from all of the heartache of all the BFN's, but I am genuinely confused by how crazy I get trying to become pregnant each month. Where does the crazy come from when I am convinced every month that I am pregnant? Where I ask, does this crazy person live inside me?

3. What have your learned about you character since TTC that you wish someone would award you a medal for?

I wish someone would give me a medal for my resilience, as hard as each AF is, somehow I keep bouncing back and moving forward. I don't think anyone IRL has any idea how hard this is for me, which I am sure is something I can work on, letting others support me.  

4. What advice would you give yourself if you could go back to your first month TTC and give yourself advice?

Start sooner! I waited 7 months after my MC to start TTC again, there were a couple of months where I was thinking about starting but didn't. WTF self? WTF? 

5. Share anything TMI that you have been dying to share but have held back until now. 

I lurk a lot on the TTGP board but never participate. It is just really entertaining and it makes me feel better that there are so many others out there that are TTC. I have years and years or training and education in all things having to do with the human body, I have also taken hundreds of hours of training in OBGYN issues both according to eastern and western medicine. My guilty confession is I love judging the ladies on there who are full on disseminating false information, and are so convinced that they are right. I also love judging them for having such black and white views on things like BBT and TCOYF. There is so much I could share that could help educate those ladies...but I never will!

Mamafesto

No time to reply fully right now but just wanted to share that at 10dpo, the ttc crazy has fully set in.

First, I had a stress dream last night about getting AF. How ridiculous...

Then, this morning, I was rooting around in the closet where I keep the hpts and literally said to myself: "step away from the pregnancy tests!"

happyktmom

1. What is something you swore you would never do, but ended up doing anyway because TTC make us BSC (bat sh$T crazy)?
   There's almost too many things here to mention that I've done.  I have gone as far as having my DH ejaculate into an Instead SoftCup and insert it because he was too tired to BD.

2. What is the craziest "conversation" you have had in your head about TTC, that you might not have shared with your SO(sig.other)?
   This is really confession time - but I have considered (because DH is really only able to ejaculate about once a month) finding some stranger that looks like him and hooking up.  Sick, right? 

3. What have your learned about you character since TTC that you wish someone would award you a medal for?
Oh I don't deserve a medal for anything involving my character.  TTC brings out the absolute worst in me.

4. What advice would you give yourself if you could go back to your first month TTC and give yourself advice?
Probably something as simple as temping  - I didn't start temping until my second time around. 

5. Share anything TMI that you have been dying to share but have held back until now. 

I don't get the CM thing.  I feel like I have creamy CM except for one day a month, I have glob of pink snot when I wipe.  And because I don't ever know if or when I O'ed, I chart it as EWCM and it probably jacks up my chart.

Thanks for this @createillumination!  I hope you guys still talk to me after this

lickastick

@happyktmom i was laughing so hard when you said you'd find a look a like DH for sperm. But in all reality that must be soooooo frustrating! I can't imagine how hard that is! And btw i got my holy grail cervical mucas this month by using Mucinex. I usually have watery or sticky CM. And you do deserve a medal because you are doing a darn good job working with what you have got! I award you a medal!

happyktmom

Thank you @createillumination - I can't believe I blurted that out!! HA

rspalding001

1. What is something you swore you would never do, but ended up doing anyway because TTC make us BSC (bat sh$T crazy)?

Testing like crazy after a BFP. When Im testing for HCG I probably start at 9DPO and if I get a positive Ill test like twice a day for almost 2 weeks to see if it goes away. Probably has something to do with the CP I had. I need to just chill out next time if Im lucky enough to get another shot at it. 

2. What is the craziest "conversation" you have had in your head about TTC, that you might not have shared with your SO(sig.other)?

Sometimes when we BD its definitely forced enthusiasm on my end during the FW. Ill find myself trying to convince myself to act like I enjoy it more for DH's sake but Im the worst actor so Im sure Im not fooling anyone. But it usually goes like this..." Oh my god can we just be done already? When will he finish so I can go to sleep? Maybe it would help if I acted like I was more into it... ughhhhhh I am really not into it. Now he wants me to be on top? Seriously? Im SO tired. I remember when this used to be fun. Why isnt it fun anymore. Fine I guess Ill go on top if it means this will be over faster."

3. What have your learned about you character since TTC that you wish someone would award you a medal for?

I guess I just feel that we all go through so much, and especially if you have suffered through losses, most of us keep it all to ourselves. We go about our lives every day acting normal, trying not to be bothered when someone asks when you are going to have a baby, and they probably have no idea how much work you have put into it, how you have been poked and prodded, how you test and temp and pray. Yet Id bet most of us don't splash our TTC journey across social media, we deal with it privately, like adults. So maybe what I am trying to say is I think we should all be awarded for our maturity and handling this all with as much grace as possible.

4. What advice would you give yourself if you could go back to your first month TTC and give yourself advice?

I wish I would have started doing OPKs sooner, because I have been ovulating on CD 20 for the most part and was missing my FW for a good long while because I had no idea when I O'd.

5. Share anything TMI that you have been dying to share but have held back until now. 

Hmmmm.... I guess I think I get really gassey in my TWW I don't know why but I do, super gassy ha ha ha

lickastick

@rspalding001 I can so relate to that line of thinking during BD!!! Lets just get it on and over with. blah...

BernieRae

@happyktmom about a month ago the song "all I wanna do is make love to you" by heart came on the radio and I have to say it's a different song to me now that I'm dealing with infertility! Ha!

BernieRae

1. Before buying the clearblue opks with the flashy smiley faces I read some reviews where women said these weren't accurate and they knew this because they were using multiple kinds of tests. Who would do that? Um me. I did this this month!
2. I don't tell anyone that at every cd 1 I count out the weeks. When I would find out. When the various ultra sounds would be. When we might tell people. When the due date would be.
3. I have this funny mix of pessimism and optimism. I count out the weeks to when the due date would be, but overall I haven't let myself feel actual hope that it will happen. It's like I'm numb to any emotion about this. For some reason i always expected to have trouble getting pregnant. I think it's a defense mechanism. I don't think I should get a medal for this.
4. I would tell myself to snap out of it and pay attention to my body! I had a separate health issue that wasn't resolving itself as expected and i put off seeing the doctor. I also had abnormal mid cycle spotting/bleeding for a long time that needed to be properly checked out. My polyp removal 2 years after first ttc cured that and I wonder if it contributed to not getting pregnant.

rspalding001

@BernieRae  ha ha OMG I do the exact same thing... figuring out the possible due date on CD1. I also think when that would mean I could take off from work and how long until I had to go back ha ha ha

Sporty1216

I do it too! I always figure out the due date, were we to actually get pregnant that cycle. then I look up the birthstone and hope it's a pretty one since I want a ring with kiddos' birthstones someday.

emsmama15

I always do the due date, when I would have my c-section, when I'd have to go back to work.  I do it all!!!   

lickastick

Oh yeah I do the EDD too! None of us are alone in that particular brand of crazy

jennh75b

1. What is something you swore you would never do, but ended up doing anyway because TTC make us BSC (bat sh$T crazy)?

I keep swearing that I'm going to wait until he initiates BD this month, yet every time, it's me.  I try to "test" him to see if he will, and I swear to myself that we will just miss this month if he doesn't initiate first, but alas, there's me, initiating because there's no way I'm letting one month slide by.

2. What is the craziest "conversation" you have had in your head about TTC, that you might not have shared with your SO(sig.other)?

This is definitely crazy/irrational - I really don't like the thought of going #2 the day after BD because I fear any pushing will push the sperm away.  I of course do it anyway, but it kind of bugs me nonetheless.

3. What have you learned about your character since TTC that you wish someone would award you a medal for?

My character has definitely been challenged in this venture.  I definitely don't deserve a medal.

4. What advice would you give yourself if you could go back to your first month TTC and give yourself advice?

Don't tell anyone you're TTC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5. Share anything TMI that you have been dying to share but have held back until now. 

I'm new here so I think I'll wait.  I can't think of anything too TMI other than what I wrote under #2 about going #2.  I definitely do the figuring out the due date/month thing, too.

Sporty1216

I'm with you on the hating to go #2 after BD, @jennh75b ! I'm always convinced it's going to mess things up. I also know it's totally irrational--and yet it crosses my mind each and every month. Ha!

lickastick

@jennh75b @Sporty1216 Have you guys watched the great sperm race on you tube? It's a 6 part series that is about an hour. After you watch it you might not worry so much about #2 after BD  

Sporty1216

Thanks, @createillumination ! Totally gonna check it out!

BernieRae

I decided to check out the great sperm race too. Super interesting! It's giving me a giggle though because the "sperm" are reminding me of characters from HBO's "The Leftovers". If you haven't seen it google "Guilty Remnant" "Leftovers".

jennh75b

@createillumination - just started to watch it!  I'm hooked.  Thanks!