Anyone else pregnant at the same time as a family member?

ice_queen91

So, my SIL (DH's older sister) finally tied the knot in August and has herself a honeymoon baby due at the end of April. When I first told I was expecting as well, she was stoked and so was I I. Then she found out the sex, and is going through the whole gender disappointment thing - which I understand, as I had some of it with DD in my 1st go round. However... While we were maternity clothes shopping - since my STM blump/bump is showing pretty fast - she said she would be pissed if I was having a boy since she wanted a boy. I brushed it off as a joke, but part of me feels she wasn't joking. Or maybe it's my pregnancy hormones getting to my brain. I'm hoping my SIL and I can stay happy for one another well past our deliveries.

Anyone else pregnant with a sister/SIL/cousin? If so, what has your experience been like so far?

MynaBird

My cousins and I have all overlapped in our pregnancies, and it's been awesome for us. Lots of knowledge sharing and empathy and hand-me-downs (including one very durable Old Navy zip hoodie that's been everyone's favorite). Plus now we have this whole slew of little cousins around the same age! I actually feel sorry for my sisters in law -- one had her baby years earlier than the rest of us, and one probably won't have kids for a few more years. They've missed out on this bonding time the rest of us have had together.

That said -- it seems like it's the kind of situation that amplifies whatever underlying feelings there are, maybe? For us, there are lots of little spats and tensions most of the time (don't get me started about some of the wedding drama), but this really brought out the deep loving bond we have. If you're in a relationship where there might be tensions beneath the surface, I could see how concurrent pregnancies could make that bubble up.

I hope it was just a hormonal moment! This could be such a special experience for the two of you to share. And how fun to have cousins so close in age!

NLewis1

My sister got pregnant (unplanned) while we were trying for my first. I had feelings of jealousy that I had to deal with for that. Then I got pregnant a few months later. She gave birth in April and I gave birth in August. She was really really excited for me since she knew we had been trying, which kinda made me feel bad about being less than thrilled for her (though I NEVER let her know that, and I was actually the first person she told because she hasn't been with her BF very long) our kids are 4 months apart in age and I think the excitement over that trumped anything else (I mean, it IS pretty awesome!). We never had any spats or upset parties and we handled it really well I think!

mdargie

My sister is due 5 weeks after me! She also just got married in august, so they've been busy lol! I am so happy and love that we get to be pregnant at the same time. With dd I was due 6 weeks after my cousin, who was pretty much a sister to me too, it was the best! I can't see there being any tension between us, we live 8 hours apart from each other so I'm sure that affects it as well. I will say if she keeps using the word preggers I might cry. I love her but NO please no.

MellBabyPeeps

My two cousins are! My one cousin is due January 13 & my other cousin is due 17 days before I am, on may 29. My January cousin and I are like sisters, so this has been fun & im kinda glad she's expecting first. More tips & pointers:). My may cousin, not as close with, but it's still exciting. Both are younger than me.

VikingGirl12

I'm not this time but was with DS. I have a SIL on my side and one of DH's side and we all three were pregnant together. The one on my side took 4 years to get pregnant (her second) so I'm really glad she found out 6 months after I found out because she was very jealous of me and I felt so guilty. She never hid her feelings. When we announced this pregnancy to her she didn't congratulate us. She just said "that's not fair, I want another". She was my best friend and Maid of Honor but me being pregnant a second time (even tho she has 2 already) seems to have ruined our relationship somehow. She wants a third but my brother isn't ready money wise.
Being pregnant with SIL on DH's side, however, was wonderful. She and I are also very close and even lived next door to each other at the time. We had boys so I've been able to hand clothes down to her and the boys are really close now.
I hope that you and yours can stay close and get along. Its such a hormonal time

Lyette1206

My niece and I were pregnant at the same time with our firsts. It was fine - I feel like she was a little hurt because people were more excited for me than they were for her (obviously I'm older and she was a young mom, our life situations were different, and people found it easier to be excited for me). She was also one of those nervous FTM so she'd text me all the time with "do you think this is normal, should I go to the hospital". Our girls are 4 months apart and it's great now, they are such little munchkins together!

susiec923

My sister and I are due 12 weeks apart! She's having her second child, first boy in the family, mid March & I'm having my first baby, little girl, mid June! We are both very excited together & are family could not be happier! We love that they'll be so close in age & in the same grade ♡

TheHauntedHauswife

Pregnant with my SIL! Just over 2 weeks apart. 

From what my husband said to me which was likely slightly off from whatever they said, so its just a sort of assumption or something close to the truth. Apparently they were waiting for us to get pregnant first, and i think what happened was that they started trying and it just kind of happened right away which wasn't totally expected on their end. Its OKAY with me, but i wish it was a little bit more than 2-3 weeks apart. Mostly because im having a lot of issues with my family and may need to make some serious steps to actually remove my mother from my life before the baby gets here, so i just wish the one side of the family i'm going to have left, didnt have to worry about 2 newborns at the same time. I dont mean to sound like a brat, but i just feel like i might really need the support and would have preferred not to share it. So i am hoping the babies end up being a little more than the 2 weeks apart and dont end up being born closer than that. But at the same time, it might end up being just fine because we will likely be able to somewhat support each other and I also have a lot of faith in myself and my husband. 

Atlast111

@VikingGirl12 . I know that this should probably be in the Unpopular Opinion post but I think ladies who suffer pregnancy jealousy are b#*$hes....lol. It took me 18 months to get pregnant and in that time, 3 friends got accidentally pregnancy. I was happy for each and everyone of them. It's totally ok to be sad you are not getting pregnant (which i was) it's not ok to be a cow about it. My best friend is going for IVF next year (we were about to be referred ourselves) and her reaction to this pregnancy has been muted to say the least. I don't think you should make your problems other people's! You SIL sounds a bit rude.....Sorry!

raedeloach

My bfs cousin and my brother's girlfriend are all due in the same week... At first it was kinda frustrating because this is our first and we didn't wanna share the shine with anyone else... Is that selfish?

mom2beEbby

My baby sister, 19, is pregnant and due about 4 weeks before me. We've been really supportive of each other. Now the gender thing Is just selfish and mean.

jmohio

My sister and SIL gave birth on the same day with their firsts. My family are kinda selfish people so unfortunately it tore that friendship apart because the whole pregnancy became a competition. Even the delivery was hell, my sister had a c-section scheduled the doctor told her she had 3 days to get the baby out. So my SIL drank castor oil to be able to have the first grandchild. It wasn't pretty.

About 4 weeks after I told my brother and SIL I was pregnant they announced they were too. I was a little scared in the beginning because the competition started straight away on who was going to tell my mum first. I caved (I wanted to enjoy this pregnancy) so they told everyone first. Unfortunately my SIL just had a miscarriage around 6 weeks. So now I have to be very careful sharing things. I am waiting on them to ask instead of me telling anything.

beachbaby83

My sister and I are due exactly 2 months apart, she's having her second and it's another boy and I'm having my first and I'll find out in 5 weeks what we're having. We're enjoying be pregnant together, I was jealous at first because she got pregnant with baby 2, before I got pregnant with baby 1, but a couple weeks after she announced, we apparently conceived!

Huskerfanz

My SIL is due late Jan. It really isn't that different than when we weren't pregnant. She's borrowing some of my maternity clothes but I don't need most of them as they are work clothes and I stay at home now.

meggyme

We just went to DH's cousin's wedding and made sure everyone knew we were pregnant before we arrive to avoid stealing their thunder (this would be our first time seeing them in awhile). So glad we did, because it turned out they couple were expecting too, and only 2 weeks before us. I was a little bummed at first that ours probably wouldn't be the first great grand kid on that side of the family anymore, but I certainly wouldn't share my disappointment with anyone but DH.

Kballew10

Both my SILs on DHs side are pregnant, due about 6&8 weeks before me with kid #2 and #3.  I'm a FTM.  They have been super supportive and helpful with everything.  They also were both very considerate about announcing in case we were pregnant too because they knew it'd be a bigger deal for us to have our first than for them to have 2 and 3.  It's been awesome so far and I can't see it getting weird.  One SIL is kind of a hippie so she talks about the natural side of birth and the other had a breech baby and a scheduled c-section with #1, so she can talk about the intervention side of birth.  Like I said, they've both been great.  My MIL was kind of overwhelmed with the news of us (since we announced last).  She is a planner and 3 more grandbabies in 10 weeks is a little more than she can plan for!

I don't understand "gender disappointment".  She gets a baby.  Will she not love it as much because it's a girl?  That's crap.  Hopefully it's just the hormones and she will be happy for you no matter what.

ahernandez16

Not family but a very close friend of mine since I was like 10 is about 8 weeks ahead of me. I was actually a little worried she'd think we were stealing her thunder but it's been fun! We've actually been in contact much more since finding out we're both expecting. She's having a little girl and my doctor "expects" me to have a little boy but we'll see for sure in a couple weeks.

She always swore she'd never have kids so it's hilarious that she'll be the first if our "group" to be having one.

mainemama_

My SIL (my husbands brothers wife) whom I don't really get along with is due two weeks before I am. We've both been TTC for awhile now and I felt like she was making it a contest ( that I had no interest in ) She announced she was pregnant the day she found out. We waited until we were 12 weeks which really ticked her off. I would be so excited if my SIL was actually supportive.

matthewsdm

My sister, cousin and two of my best friends are all currently pregnant too! My sister is due next month, this is her first so she was super excited we got to be pregnant at the same time. My one best friend and I are old pros, we were due one day apart when I was pregnant with DD2 as well. I think it's fun and cool that we will all have kids the same age. I was pregnant at the same time as 4 of my friends with DD1 and now they are all friends too.

26pointrunningfor2

My SIL and I are due two months apart. Not going to lie, glad I'm due first. So far it's fine, but that's also probably because I live 2,000 miles from the rest of my family.

ashleyrobertson0113

When we first found out, BOTH of my hubbys sisters-in-law were pregnant (one just had her baby this past Sunday and the other is due on Christmas). It was nice to have all three of us expecting at the same time.

Though I'll admit I did struggle with a little bit of (totally ridiculous & irrational) jealousy on Sunday when my SIL had her son. But now that I've met the little man I'm too in love with him to be upset.

TattoosandLace

I found out I was expecting the week of Halloween. I sent my sisters a picture text with DD dressed as a "Big Sister" for Halloween. I swore them to secrecy. Then I get a call a few weeks later from my biological mom (I was adopted, my sisters were not) that she's expecting. I'm not close to her and just recently have allowed her to contact me due to how awful she was in the past. I have no intentions of doing the whole Father of the Bride Part 2 thing with her.

MillerMama13

Not this time but DH's cousin was pregnant with her third when I was pregnant with my first due dates within a day of eachother. We hadn't met prior but we met at my baby shower that my MIL threw for us. She's very nice and we got along great. I'd call her with questions and she was so sweet. We still get along. DD is 14 days older than her DS. It's so fun when we get together.

The only bad part about it was MIL who was always comparing us. "Well SHE found out the sex at 14 weeks how come you have to wait until 20? SHE can eat that how come you can't? Why does SHE do this or that and you don't?" It was extremely annoying and DH finally had to say something to her. Even when the babies were young she would compare them. Thankfully the cousin moved away from MIL and now they don't keep in touch much. The cousin lives closer to us so we visit them in the summer. It's fun.

Arwen0503

Last pregnancy my SIL and I were pregnant at the same time. I had my daughter in August and she had her daughter in December (2 days after my birthday). It was a fun experience we really didn't see each other that much but when we did we talked about symptoms and other pregnancy stuff.  The funny thing was when we told them we were pregnant with #3 they told us to slow down so they could catch up with #2 and then 4 months later they were pregnant.

PopoffBaby

My sister is pregnant too. She is due 6 weeks before me. We are both so excited to be pregnant at the same time. We never thought that would happen since I went through IVF and she went through IVF to conceive her twins. This time she got pregnant naturally which was a huge shock to everyone as they were not planning on anymore right now. I'm really glad IVF worked this time otherwise I might not feel so excited for her. HA! This will be my first biological child. Now I just have to hope my child doesnt come on the twins birthday or my sister's birthday. I want everyone to have their own day :-)

fishwife799

This is the second time my SIL and I have overlapped. Her DD was born April 14 and DS was Sep14. She is scheduled for RCS Jan 26 and we are obviously June. During our first pregnancy it was great. We were pretty close and I really enjoyed it. Until DS was born. My niece was born with some heart issues and requires open heart surgery and has gone through many procedures so far in her short life. When DS was born healthy she got jealous of me (her words) and actually shut me out for a while. She saw him when he was 4 days old and then basically ignored us for about 4 months. She came and apologized and admitted what was going on and I thought things would be good but she continued a lot of the same behaviors. We still talk from time to time but overall our relationship is not what it was. I hope that maybe now if she has a healthy baby that she will be different and we can move past all of this.
I really hope that your SIL was just joking or if she wasn't she gets over it fast. I know my situation is completely different and I don't mean to scare you. I just wanted to offer you a different perspective.

TheFlannagans92014

We have 2 close friends due in April and then my cousin is due in June just 1 week ahead of us! We actually had both planned to announce on Thanksgiving, but neither of us knew about the other being pregnant. My cousin announced first and my husband and I shared what we thought was a secret laugh with each other, but my grandmother saw it and immediately shouted 'Oh my are y'all pregnant too?'. We felt bad about stealing her thunder (this is her first and technically our 3rd pregnancy but the first two ended in mc), but she and her husband were super excited so that made it better. Our family hasn't had babies in a while so that are thrilled to welcome 2 at once!!

VintageGinger222

With my dd my husband and I planned on announcing it on Christmas. Well Christmas eve his sister announced they were expecting . So we didn't say anything and the next day we kind of half told everyone. We felt bad stealing her thunder kind of thing. I had a girl she had a boy. They were exactly a week apart, down to the hour. My daughter was born on the 18th of August and her son was born 25th of August. I think she was a little jealous that we were pregnant too. She would act funny toward us and say little snide remarks which sucked, but we never asked for anything from my husbands family so they could spoil her a little more. Even when they offered to buy something I would lie or immediately go but it myself so they couldn't buy us anything.

MistKeeper

My brother's gf is due three weeks before me. At first I was a bit jealous since I'd been trying for years, was excited about our announcement (we were waiting until 12 weeks even for family), and then there was an announcement before us. Theirs was accidental (they weren't even really together when they conceived), so it was also just kind of a shock. I'm over it now, though, and just try to be supportive of my bro. I do worry that when the babies come there will be constant comparisons between the two. My family is like that, but I can't change people. I've just resolved to be happy with my baby no matter how cute/smart/quickly it reaches its milestones. The only thing I regret is that since we're so close together, I spend more time being excited about becoming a mom than becoming an aunt. I would love to experience the joy of both separately :-). 

TwoBadMice

My SIL is 2 weeks behind me! I. Allens her out over thanksgiving (I could tell her beer can was filled with water) and when she only wanted plan toast for breakfast.... Your PG! It's been great! It's nice having someone else who can't drink around on the holidays.

Tawny87

I'm due in June, SIL in July, and other SIL in August. My hubby is the oldest of 7 so no one is ever pregnant alone lol!!!

I should add I was pregnant with these two last time as well. I found out I was pregnant 4 days after 1 gave birth and the other announced 3 weeks before I had my twins.

ice_queen91

Thanks for all the stories everyone! I truly do hope she was joking. I know she always imagined herself having a boy, so I just think it's going to take a little while to adjust her idea of how motherhood is going to be. On a brighter note, she has asked me to come over and help her with her baby registry - so I'm hoping that's a sign that things will stay the way they are (or better)!!!

momtoagem

I am pregnant with both my sisters.. and we are all due 1 week apart.

Atlast111

fishwife799 said:

This is the second time my SIL and I have overlapped. Her DD was born April 14 and DS was Sep14. She is scheduled for RCS Jan 26 and we are obviously June. During our first pregnancy it was great. We were pretty close and I really enjoyed it. Until DS was born. My niece was born with some heart issues and requires open heart surgery and has gone through many procedures so far in her short life. When DS was born healthy she got jealous of me (her words) and actually shut me out for a while. She saw him when he was 4 days old and then basically ignored us for about 4 months. She came and apologized and admitted what was going on and I thought things would be good but she continued a lot of the same behaviors. We still talk from time to time but overall our relationship is not what it was. I hope that maybe now if she has a healthy baby that she will be different and we can move past all of this.
I really hope that your SIL was just joking or if she wasn't she gets over it fast. I know my situation is completely different and I don't mean to scare you. I just wanted to offer you a different perspective.

Envious of a new baby being born healthy.....wow....just wow.....it admirable that she apologised but surprising the relationship didn't get better. I find this happens a lot with female relationships. They get funny over something small and the relationship suffers. Has happened with 2 of my close friends in the past year. Has got to the point where i don't want to commit myself to female friendships anymore because of it....sad really! You just want a quite drama free life.

purplefan1

My SIL announced she was pregnant (with baby #2) on Mother's Day, about a month after I had my MMC (with my first). Apparently they had just started trying and it happened right away (it took us 7 months of trying) and then she found out when she thought she was 4 weeks along she was over 8 weeks along (seems like she got to skip a huge portion of the 1st trimester). She just delivered at the beginning of this month but part of the reason we have held off telling family about our pregnancy is because we didn't want to steal her thunder. We found out in October the week of her baby shower and have just kept our mouths shut. Although, it hurt a little when they announced the new baby on Facebook and my MIL posted it saying something like "my first granddaughter" and I was sad because if it weren't for the MMC we had, we might have been able to give them the first granddaughter. (SIL AND BIL already have a son).

I'm also hoping my BFF will get some good news on the IVF side of things soon and she will be able to get pregnant as well. I have been nervous to tell her, although she has been adament that she will be excited for us and knows we have been struggling for 2 years for this baby.

greenbee

My best friend is due the same day as me. She lives 5 hours away, but it's her 2nd and my 1st, so it's been nice to be able to check in with her. My husband has a big family, and between the time we told his parents and when we told the rest of the family, my MIL was totally paranoid that someone else would announce a pregnancy and "steal our thunder." Didn't happen. But with all that could go wrong, I just kind of thought it was a bizarre thing to have as her #1 concern.

fishwife799

@Atlast111 it was really an odd situation. My two good friends couldn't believe that she actually admitted being jealous of me and that I was willing to forgive so quickly. They look at it as her wishing DS was sick too. I really think what it came down to is she was/is angry because her baby is sick and I was just who she took her anger out on because I was there and had a baby at the same time. She deals with a lot of deamons and is in recovery so I think sometimes she has a hard time dealing with her emotions. The thing that kills me most about all of it is our kids are close in age and they will probably never have a super close relationship because of all of it. She is also step mom to my older neice and nephew (8 & 11) who DD absolutely adores and because of her issues DD rarely gets to see them. I really tried for a long time but I've given up putting myself out there. You can only take so many excuses and rejections before you just chose not to try anymore.

june2016baby

momtoagem said:

I am pregnant with both my sisters.. and we are all due 1 week apart.

Wow! Are there any sisters not pregnant in your family? Thats pretty crazy.

Shanna2016

I know the slight feeling of being jelouse. I found out last night my cousin Is pregnant with her second and third (twins) and due in June. My mother called to tell me how happy for her she was, now I'm pregnant with my first and I am waiting to tell my mom at Christmas so right off the bat it almost felt like she was stealing my thunder even though my mom has no idea. I am due in June as well, not sure if it's the same dates or not. I do wish her well of course and am super happy for her, it was just my first thought.

Jason&Erin82507

When I was pregnant with dd2, my sister was pregnant with her 2nd. I was due 9/18, she was due 10/19. Long story short , her baby was born at 31 weeks, mine was a week late so her son is older although I was always farther along ;-)

She's since had a third and I am now due with number 3. My due date is 6 days before her 3rds, 1st birthday! If I go late again, the cousins may share a birthdate (a year apart).