Great article!

alw12290

Hi Ladies,

I recently joined a midwife group because I want to try VBAC and my doctor's office does not do this.  Anyway, I went on their facebook page to read over some of the things people were saying and I came across this great article regarding people who have had traumatic birth experiences, from the nurses/doctors!!! This happened to me with my first child.  I had a horrible experience and still, almost six years later, cringe thinking about it.  Now, please do not think that I am referring to all nurses treating patients like this, I had a few good ones, but my overall experience was horrible! I think it is a great read for people who want more control over THEIR birth experience and treatment.

WARNING: As previously suggested by a post, this article does speak about traumatic experiences that some have endured.  I do think FTM should read to make sure these things do not happen to them, my intentions were education purposes as I wished I had known all of this during my first experience.  However, as PP said, it may be scary for some to read.  

https://birthmonopoly.com/nurses/

CourtJack

Wow. Very interesting article. Thank you so much for sharing. I can relate to the stories these nurses are sharing. 

I was diagnosed as failure to progress and while I wouldn't go as far as to say the doctor wanted to get to a party - I did feel that I had no choice but to agree with him. I felt that way about many interventions during my labour - including being given Pitocin. I also had a nurse become exasperated with me after my son was born because I had too many questions. She actually told me to turn on the tv and find one of those 'parenting' channels.

I know this is my experience alone, and not all medical professionals are like this, of course,  but I really appreciate hearing from nurses on this topic. It's validating, in a way.

mkemommy

Interesting article.  I was present for my nephew's birth from the moment my sister was brought to the hospital to the delivery (all 24+ hours of it).  As someone who was not experiencing any trauma but who was in the room for her the entire time, I will tell you she had some great nurses and doctors and some down-right terrible ones.  The anesthesiologist actually brought her to tears with his condescending attitude and abusive comments (she was "too fat" for him to find her spine, she needed to be quiet and still or "he would paralyze her" despite the fact that she was mid-contraction, he "didn't have time for this/her", etc, etc.).  I was shocked and scared to say something and he didn't even have the needle to my spine.  

NicknShan

I can't read the article right now (I will get to it), but I am wondering why your office doesn't allow VBAC? Is it a black and white decision for them?  Is it because your pregnancies are too close together?  Does it have to deal with your anatomy?

I did not have a good first birth experience, it was pretty traumatic.  I plan on having a RCS though, and hope it is actually better through a more "controlled" birth experience.  My OB office/hospital does allow for VBAC, but I don't think they would allow me to have one based on my anatomy.

Kballew10

As a FTM, I'd say that this article is scary as sh*t and I think that this post should come with a warning (so people know that it's not about taking control of your birthing experience, it just discusses the traumas and encourages the practices to stop).  I know it's not referring to all doctors/nurses, but it sure doesn't portray childbirth in a good way at all.  For people with traumatic experiences, it's probably a good/validating article, but a warning would be nice.

Lyette1206

My DD was breech, and my midwife and I decided to try to turn her with an ECV at the hospital. The way it was explained to me was that there were three possible outcomes - they turned the baby and I could labor naturally, they fail to turn the baby and end up doing a c-section, or the baby has a stress response during the procedure and I end up having a c-section. When I showed up at the hospital, all the nurses kept saying I was there for a c-section. It made me feel like I had been lied to - that they weren't going to try to turn her at all. They made me feel dumb for even trying. After my birth (c-section), the nurses were terrible. My MIL is a nurse, and she was horrified when she came to visit me in the hospital. My midwife was the only positive of my birth experience - well, and my daughter, who was perfect.

fishwife799

NicknShan said:

I can't read the article right now (I will get to it), but I am wondering why your office doesn't allow VBAC? Is it a black and white decision for them?  Is it because your pregnancies are too close together?  Does it have to deal with your anatomy?

I did not have a good first birth experience, it was pretty traumatic.  I plan on having a RCS though, and hope it is actually better through a more "controlled" birth experience.  My OB office/hospital does allow for VBAC, but I don't think they would allow me to have one based on my anatomy.

I don't know OP but I would go as far to say that it is likely that it is a black and white answer on VBAC's in the office. I had a a cesarean with my first and immediately started looking for an office that would allow me to attempt a TOLAC. I called every provider in my insurance coverage area and none of the hospitals would allow them so the providers had no choice but to say no as well. Lucky for me I found a hospital and doctor that was willing to do them. My primary provider sent a referral in saying I needed that type of delivery and my insurance approved it. I am seeing this same provider again this pregnancy because even though I have had a successful VBAC I'm still a VBAC. I have to drive over 200 miles round trip for every one of my appointments. Unfortunately it is hard to find a hospital and provider that are both willing to allow it even though the ACOG recommends a TOLAC. I know many women choose a RCS or need a RCS (to each their own, I would never judge a woman for choosing this route) but for the women who don't chose that route it is not made easy.

Edited for spelling

alw12290

NicknShan: The reason my doctor's office does not allow c-section is due to (what they told me) the fact for the guidelines to perform a VBAC the hospital must have an OR available at all times, surgeon at the hospital 24/7, as well as, an anesthesiologist.  The hospital that my previous practice worked with does not participate in VBAC's because they do not have any of those things around the clock.  

CourtJack: My experience was horrible as well, more emotionally as you said.  I was yelled at by my doctor (I was only 19 and was so scared).  The nurse who was 'helping' me basically announced in front of my whole family that I was going to the bathroom during  delivery so I kicked everyone out of the room and did it by myself because I was mortified.  Then when contractions were 30 seconds apart, she let go of my leg to go get herself a chair in mid contraction!!!!! Then they forgot to give me my pain meds when I was being discharged, I waited over 3 hours for them with many reminders and finally just ended up giving up and leaving!  This article was not intended to scare any first time mothers, but I wish I had known all this information in the beginning to have the courage to demand respect for myself and be completely aware of what my options are.

 

CourtJack

Oh, I agree with a PP. Maybe edit to put a warning that there are some graphic references in the article. I did enjoy it but yes I wasn't expecting the stories (I wasn't offended but could understand it may be tough to read for some).

:-)

Kballew10

Not offended and glad I got some perspective on what could happen, but thank you for posting the warning!  It just wasn't what I was expecting and it is scary to think about when you are already kind of nervous to push a human out of your who-ha  for the first time.

CourtJack

@kballew10 - hmm. offended I guess wasn't the right word. shocked maybe?

Kballew10

@CourtJack - Shocked is the perfect word.

NicknShan

@fishwife799 Yes, I didn't know I was a RCS until my first appointment with my OB.  She was the one that asked if I would like a VBAC, and I said yes, but told her I wanted to wait it out to make that final decisions.  Then she looked at my first birth experience (the doctors perspective of my birth story), and that was when she told me their office wouldn't allow it.  Plain and simple - my hips aren't wide enough for a baby.  My anatomy is all wrong, and the baby's as well as my own life could be in serious jeopardy if I went forward with a vaginal birth.  It made me a little sad that the "choice" per say was taken away from me, but it makes sense. 

 @alw12290 Sorry to hear about this experience :-(

alw12290

I can see how it sounds terrifying and a lot of information if you haven't been through it already.  I was just hoping to have some women know what happens, but a warning would have been good on my part.  Not used to that, so sorry.

goldie987

The one other thing to remember is for every mom who has a horrible or traumatic birth experience, there's a mom who has a great experience and theres all sorts of people in between too. It's like reviews for apartments or professors, no one is going to go out there to talk about how they had a good experience, there's people who will talk about their awful experience and theres people who will talk about their amazing experience. Come armed with as much knowledge as you can get your hands on and know what your options are. Be flexible to change but understand WHY changes have to be made. I'm sorry to everyone who has had a bad experience, I hope you have much better experiences this time around!

NLewis1

I know one thing - after my terrible birth experience with my son (I also had a horrible anesthesiologist) I'm taking 0 shit from anyone. I was too scared I would look "crazy" to be vocal last time. This time - I'm gonna be like "f*ck off and get me a different nurse" if I feel the need

stxaggie

What I got from this is to always stay informed and don't be afraid to say no. That is one of the problems, not speaking up, not refusing and not asking questions. You can fire your Dr. and nurses and you can always decline meds/procedures. You should ask for an explanation before you consent to anything that goes in, on or that is done to your body. When they walk in with meds in their hand you or your partner need to ask what meds they are giving you BEFORE they start them, why and what for... they don't just magically appear. You can ask for an administrator if you feel your mistreated, and do it immediately if so. You would be surprised how things can turn around with one call to them. You need to be as informed as possible of what might be offered or happen, have contingencies and have someone there (husband, partner, parent, someone) advocate for you when you can't. Personally I will discuss all my choices with my Dr. well in advance and he is amazing. If I did not trust my Dr I would not use him. But if he isn't there for the birth, which is a possibility, it is my responsibility to be prepared (and make sure hubby is as well) for whoever is and if I don't trust them I will ask for someone else. While I concede that my care is not entirely in my hands, a big portion is within my control.

alw12290

Exactly @Magen16. That is exactly what I thought about this article. It does have some real information, yes, there has been many women who have had great stories and birth experiences but there is also many who didn't. Since I am once of them, I believe a lot of the issue was because I was not informed of my choices and I was not treated like a human. I don't feel evwry experience is bad, thank god! But I feel it is especially important for the first time mommies to know what their voice can actually do for them instead of being scared like me, hoping it will prevent them from that type of experience. I would have fired my doctor on the spot if I knew I could have and the nurse! They yelled at the whole time.

theatremandy

This breaks my heart to hear so many of you had terrible experiences.  My firstborn was a long induction, an hour of pushing, and an eventual c-section.  I was heartbroken, but my OB let me stay in control of the entire process, trying to let me deliver vaginally.  I will always appreciate that he did that.  My second was a set of twins, so a RCS, which was fine.  I sincerely hope you each have a great experience this time around.