Push presents

yogahh

Just curious what the general consensus around here is about push presents? Personally, I'm not into it and wouldn't expect DH to give me a gift after the birth. But if he wanted to buy me a lovely vintage emerald ring, I wouldn't turn it down

Are you asking DH for a push present? If you have had babies before, did you receive anything? Is this a "normal" thing in your area?

countrygrl5533

Personally, I find the whole idea kind of ridiculous. I don't know anyone IRL who has received one.

kbrands7

Last pregnancy I asked for a Dibella's turkey and swiss sub with all the veggies, and a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. DH laughed-- but went and got both the hour I was cleared to eat solid foods again.

He got me a more expensive gift (pearl necklace and earrings set) for Mother's Day. I'll probably ask him if he'd do something similar this year (I would love a daily wearable piece of jewelry with our kiddos' birth stones, emerald and diamond.)

Push presents are pretty common where I am, but there isn't much of a standard of what to get.

eaorear

Will I be asking for a push present? Definitely not. However, it wouldn't surprise me if he gave a small, but meaningful gift to mark the occasion.

yogahh

kbrands7 said:

Last pregnancy I asked for a Dibella's turkey and swiss sub with all the veggies, and a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. DH laughed-- but went and got both the hour I was cleared to eat solid foods again.

He got me a more expensive gift (pearl necklace and earrings set) for Mother's Day. I'll probably ask him if he'd do something similar this year (I would love a daily wearable piece of jewelry with our kiddos' birth stones, emerald and diamond.)

Push presents are pretty common where I am, but there isn't much of a standard of what to get.

Haha I already told DH to bring me wine and a pizza

I don't know if you are ok with fake stone but one of my wedding bands is from berricle. It's silver with cz and looks really good. Anyways it's "sapphire" with "diamond". I know they have an emerald option I was thinking of getting. Sounds like a match for you!

Unicorn522

I think they are weird. The present is your newborn in your arms. I don't know anyone who has gotten one and I didn't with my first. Although someone in my first BMB claimed she was getting a Land Rover as a push present. I can't remember if she was a troll or legit though. Haha

Bltbear82

They're pretty standard here, some of my friends have actually asked for specific things but DH is the best gift giver and never needs any help or suggesting. Last time he surprised me with two necklaces to be worn together, one from him and one from DS. It was incredibly thoughtful and sweet, I love them and think of my guys whenever I wear them.

This time I've mentioned that he can combine whatever he would do for Mother's Day and my birthday if he wants since this baby will be born within a month of all of the above just to make it a little easier. I may have also mentioned that April's birthstone is diamond and I'm due the first week in May, and he just smiled in response so we shall see. He's never disappointed me with thoughtful and beautiful gifts before, so I'm not too worried! My favorite part though is always his explanation of the gift. Last time I sobbed when he told me why he picked each necklace.

TheThornBird

I think they're ridiculous. Although part of me now wants to get my SO a "Thanks for supporting me while you watched horrifying things happen to my vagina and still wanting to have sex with me" present

missnc77

I don't see anything wrong with a husband/partner wanting to give a gift to mark the occasion. I think it's a sweet sentiment. We always get little somethings to mark milestones for each other.

js8812

I think it's silly to asked for or expect a gift, but it's fine if a SO wants to do something on their own. I wouldn't drop hints or guilt them into anything though. I think a baby is the best push present out there and I'm sure everyone agrees. I will be asking for a glass of red wine though! ;-

LadySamLady

I've never heard of this! My H is a sweetie but I'd be surprised if he thought to get me something without help. I've told him that I'd love jewelry with LOs birthstone for my birthday/mothers day since they're both in May which feels big enough and close enough to the big push for me.

BuzzBee614

I'd take a bottle of wine. Or a case. A case would be great. Other than that... I wouldn't expect anything, nor do I need anything.

proudparent2b

With the costs of delivery, baby needs and daycare, I think it would be excessive to get jewelry as well. However, push presents aren't a thing where I live, so maybe cultural bias?

caterin

Push Gift? First time hearing this! I wouldn't turn it down, but since it's the first time I heard about it, I doubt my husband even knows such term exist. When there is a push gift, is there also a knock me up gift??? Surely didn't give him something for his great contribution lol

cortney626

DH won't be getting me a push present. I would prefer a babymoon. I have asked for Alex and Ani birthstone bracelets for Christmas. But I can get those myself if he doesn't get them. I've heard of push presents before but don't know anyone personally who received one. Some friends of ours were pregnant and not married so the man gave her a "promise ring, mother of my child ring" while she was pregnant. I thought of that as a push present. But they decided not to get married but still be together and she gave it back. Not like it was an engagement ring. We told her she should have kept it!

gorgeousariel

Im sure H doesn't even know this exists. But I do want another band to match my wedding band: love , marriage, baby carriage. 

JessicaB0627

I don't think H knows they're a thing. I would love something with birthstones for Mother's Day though! DD is diamond and hopefully I can make it long enough for this one to be emerald. DD was due in May but I was induced early.

I think we are going to do a gift for DD though.

kami09

I got one for DS. Haha. We took a trip to NYC around 18 weeks and stopped at Tiffany. Okay- I'll be honest, he never knew they were a thing until I told him- but he thought a necklace would be a cute gift for me. It's simple- says "love". Honestly, I would've gotten something pregnant or not. He said that for everything I had to deal with and go through, he was happy to buy it for me. My idea was to be able to gift that to my daughter at one point-- & then I had a boy lol

wamam027

My good friend got a push gift for both of her girls. They tried for a long long time to get pregnant with their first and she was born at 28 weeks and went through a lot to get her to the healthy 2 year old she is now. Dad got mom a beautiful diamond ring for her gift but mom didn't want to wear it until baby came home healthy from the NICU 2 months later. They just had their second and she got another ring as a push present. They're common here as well, although I won't be getting anything jewelry related. I'm not a big jewelry person and am super low maintenance. I'm sure I'll get some nice little massages, whatever post delivery food I desire, and some wine...as well as a very grateful husband for his not being the one that has to push a baby out.

valerie4786

I never even knew push presents were a thing until about a month ago an old acquaintance gave birth and posted her push present (a ring) on Facebook. They're not common around where I'm from in Michigan, or people aren't talking about it. I won't ask for one, we're trying to save money for baby as it is.

Missingchampagne

I mentioned a push present once, teasing him, and DH didn't believe other people got them. Then we watched an episode of The Mindy Project that happened to mention them several days later, and now he's sold on the legitimacy
I would like a small gift from him, to commemorate the day, but wouldn't expect it to be high-budget since it'll be time to focus all that on the baby.

LemmyRN

Since baby will be here before Mother's Day, DH will be able to get something cute with the birthstone. I'm due early May so we'll see when baby wants to come. Although when I'm ready to pop I'm sure I'll be going for lots of 3 mile walks and eating lots of chips n salsa.

yogahh

Missingchampagne said:

I mentioned a push present once, teasing him, and DH didn't believe other people got them. Then we watched an episode of The Mindy Project that happened to mention them several days later, and now he's sold on the legitimacy
I would like a small gift from him, to commemorate the day, but wouldn't expect it to be high-budget since it'll be time to focus all that on the baby.

I adore your screen name

mmemartinez

I absolutely think it is appropriate for fathers to give something as a token of appreciation for all that we have gone through. Whatever that is depends on who you are, what you like, and your finances. For DS my husband just put together a kind of goodie bag with thoughtful presents about our relationship. I did get an aquamarine band to wear with my wedding set for Mother's Day. I like the idea of a piece of jewelry to represent each kid, just as we have something to represent our relationship. Everybody's different.

What's dumb is calling it a push present. I don't want a reward for having a baby, I got a baby. But I do think that acknowledging the process is not a ridiculous thing to do.

mcb2016

My husband would never think of this on his own. If I want something I'll have to let him know. I would like an emerald ring at some point, It's my birth stone, and my ten year old son's as well.  

kami09

mmemartinez said:

I absolutely think it is appropriate for fathers to give something as a token of appreciation for all that we have gone through. Whatever that is depends on who you are, what you like, and your finances. For DS my husband just put together a kind of goodie bag with thoughtful presents about our relationship. I did get an aquamarine band to wear with my wedding set for Mother's Day. I like the idea of a piece of jewelry to represent each kid, just as we have something to represent our relationship. Everybody's different.

What's dumb is calling it a push present. I don't want a reward for having a baby, I got a baby. But I do think that acknowledging the process is not a ridiculous thing to do.

Agree. To all of it.

Charissadeats

Just asked DH's opinion and he said that he would think the baby deserves something rather. As a welcome to the world gift. Just had to share that.

araecasey

I agree with @Unicorn522. Your push present is your baby!

I think it's strange to expect a thank you "thing." What I DO expect is a father who sees mom working her tail off carrying, birthing, and nursing an insatiable newborn in turn works his tail off to share the parenting load.

amscape

Definitely not. Can't we celebrate things without presents anymore?!

As long as there is a delicious craft beer (the jury's still out on which specific beer. I dream about it. Porch rocker, Stone IPA, Hop Hunter, Allagash Tripel? I miss you, beer) in the room within 24 hours, that is all I need for a present!

araecasey

Alcohol and baby cuddles are really the best celebration for a birth in my opinion! No gift needed.

concreteayngel

I think it's pretty ridiculous. I think a babymoon is reasonable, and leave it at that. My DH is giving me free reign on the nursery and all things baby related, and lord knows I've already spent more than I needed to. Carrying a child is (usually) the mother's choice. Not being able to carry a child is not a choice the father makes. And men (at least the good daddies) make plenty of sacrifices for their children, too. Time, money, the attention of their partner.

As a side tangent, it really grinds my gears that Father's Day is now also about moms. I saw more commercials last June suggesting you buy your single-parent mother a gift on Father's Day than I did see ads for actual dads. Yes, many moms wear many hats and deserve recognition, but can't DADS have just one stinking day?

doozer1345

DH read it in his daddy books and surprisingly it wasn't in any of my mommy books. I thought it was absurd. My push gift is my baby is how I look at it. But, it became important to DH (even though we knew I wouldn't be pushing bc of the CS). So, he got me a beautiful charm bracelet with DD's initials as the first charm. Since then he has added a charm every year to it that represents DD for the year. I'm not sure if he's just going to add this new LO to it or give me something new.

dsmith211

Honestly I had never heard of it until DH brought it up to me. He said he had been reading some stuff online and saw something about it. I told him not to worry about getting me anything, that having the baby would be enough, but he tends to be all sentimental so I know he's going to end up doing something.

Tbh I think I'll cry if all he does is run down to the sushi restaurant after the baby is born to get me the raw tuna rolls/sashimi I've missed the whole time so he doesn't have to do very much. Lol.

JennyS86

I was thinking about getting DH a nice present for putting up with me pregnant.  My pregnant self is so much worse than my nonpregnant self.  Sorry hun!
If I want a push present (though I'm a repeat c-section due to a previous c-s vertical incision), I will have to speak up because he won't do it on his own.  I like the idea of getting a mother's day gift this year - as this is my last pregnancy!

We should also reconvene in May and see what really happens!

tripledaggerWed95976

***MC mentioned**
I don't judge others for wanting them but for me personally after a miscarriage, infertility, 3 failed IUIs and IVF, I find my the fact that I'm going to have a baby at the end of these 9 months better than any present I could ever ask for.

lalala2004

My DH had no idea they were I thing until I mentioned it. I don't expect anything, but my SIL got some emerald earrings for her first (her and her son's birthstone).

I do like the idea of something with the babies name or birthstone to mark the occasion.

hellogoodbye2

I think of push presents the same way I feel about sweetest day....unnecessary and gift grabby.

rlworzalla

I asked DH for a piece of jewelry for Mothers day with LO's birthstone but only because he wouldn't probably do it on his own. He's not horrible at gift giving, but much more practical.

Aside from that we both know that "our" push present was a new DSLR camera to take photos of baby, and we bought it early to get used to the settings. We wanted one anyways but it's our joke.

buffythevampireslayer

If I have any disposable income left after getting through maternity leave and setting up child care, I'm paying for private pilates lessons on those reformers so I can get my core strong again.

We're not super good at getting each other presents, for the most part, we do experience things together like dinners or vacations.

Pascal86

I thought I was done with the exhaustion part of being pregnant, but apparently not. So I'm considering all the cleaning, meal prep, and dog-walking my husband does while I'm taking non-stop naps to be the best present I could ever ask for. If we had unlimited funds a push present would be fun, but in terms of feeling appreciated for the work I'm doing, I definitely would rather just get help around the house!

JoMunson

I haven't mentioned anything. My mom actually bought herself a push present- three interlocking rings for my brothers and I. I'd rather get myself a little something (maybe two emeralds because mine and my baby's birthday are only going to be a few days apart) but I'm more in the camp of "the baby is the push present"