Bond with baby.

Dledwards17

I feel like my baby doesn't like me. I have school three days a week. When i pick her up she hardly smiles at me, and doesn't really even look at me or look for me when I talk. When my husband gets home and talks she will turn towards him and follow him with her eyes and smile even if he isn't looking at her. Today when I picked her up from my mother in laws she just smiled and starred at her even though I had been gone all day. It really wasn't a good feeling. I EBF and spend every minute I can with her. I'm not sure what I am doing wrong. Why wouldn't she have a bond with me?

n3na94

Your little one knows you're her mama and perhaps she doesn't show it but I don't think she doesn't like you. She might just be more familiar with your MIL but do not think she doesn't like you. You carried her for 9 months almost 10 you guys have a bond that can never be broken! I'm sure she loves you and just know she knows you're doing the best you can! I also go to school and my son stays with my parents. He is close to my dad and at first when I get home he doesn't smile at me but when I grab him and start talking to him, he eventually smiles. Try doing something with her that no one else does with her, something she can grow and know it's a mommy and daughter thing. Like for my little one and I its at night when I try reading to my little one, I change him and talk to him while I put his pjs, sing, nurse and put him to sleep. You are doing great mama and please keep doing what you're doing, you're creating a bond that will never be broken and maybe you might not see it now but as your little girl grows I'm sure she will realize that! Good luck and keep us posted!

Ps: Excuse me for the long post lol !

Dledwards17

Thank you! It's just so discouraging! She is only with my mother in law maybe twice a month alone. Of course we visit too. She is with her day care one day and my husband for 3 hours another day. Most of the time she is with me! We play and do all kinds of things, I'm just not seeing her give me the same reactions that she gives to others.

n3na94

Be patient mama! Like I said you are doing great! Your little one is growing and as she grows I know that bond will grow and be stronger than ever!!!

AziaNick

I was like that too, I was nervous that my daughter didn't have as strong of a connection with me, and I'm a SAHM! But it does take time. She loves my husband and is definetely a daddies girl BUT you are her mother. There will always be some kind of connection there. It might not be as strong now, but it will play with her and talk with her, and let her know that you are there for her. I am sure that you are trying everything you can to get that connection but be patient. My daughter is 6 months and only now she seems to really want me haha

VToman

Your baby loves you thru and thru. I am a SAHM and a FTM. I know all babies are different and so that I know really nothing about babies outside of my own LO. But, I notice that my baby gets bored quite easily. And, in particular, she gets bored of me. I have to constantly work to entertain her or she gets really fussy. Sometimes I feel like she just needs to see different faces. So, we'll walk around the mall, visit family members for a while. She is all smiles when she has other people or things to look at. And when Daddy comes home from work, she goes right into his arms because by then, she's tired of looking at me!

She knows you're her mommy and she loves and needs you. Don't worry! You're doing a great job!!

Dledwards17

Thank you! This makes me feel better! I think you may be right! I had to work really hard today to think of all kinds of new things to do and she laughed and smiled like she used to. Maybe she is just like "mom I know you already go away lol".

AKOL0

My LO loves her papa bear. He was the one to get her to laugh first. As a SAHM and the one to put her to bed (she hates), she loves her daddy more because he doesn't really do the bad stuff. I'm the bad cop.

Dledwards17

I have that problem too. We have been working on her naping in her crib during the day. She wants to be held and at the boob for her naps, not going so well. ):

Smark1129

Oh man. My LO is soooo in love with his dad! He makes the best eye contact when dad gives the bottle and they laugh and play so great together. He won't laugh with me and if DH trues to get hum.to laugh when I'm in the room, you can actually heat him making an effort NOT to laugh. I get home and he looks at me like "I'm not hungry yet, why are you here? " and he only gets 10 bottles a week and its still my milk! I'll hold him and try to get him to look at me and he'll whip his head around to AVOID eye contact. Omg.

It used to bother me, but I'm just happy he had such a strong bond with dad. Sure.

It's not that I think he DOESN'T have a bond with me, but I definitely think it's different. I've heard other parents describe mom as being the safe zone - the person they can cry around or be upset and fussy around because they feel more comfort from us than anything else. I focus on that. I'm happy to be his safe place. You're not alone.

SBbabyonboard

I definitely understand what you are going through. I am a stay at home mom right now and my LO loves me I know that.but I have to work hard to hear that beautiful laugh everyday( it's my mission!!) but by the end of the day she is pretty sick of my face so it's nice when daddy gets home to have a new fun face to look and laugh at!! This may seem silly but I literally sing song everything we do during our days and she absolutely loves it! Big smiles and laughs!! It sounds silly but it works!!

Melis222

https://www.mommypage.com/2015/08/kids-are-800-worse-whenever-their-moms-are-around/?utm_source=ape_wholemom

Read this article...it says babies as young as 8 months but I think it's even younger that they realize they can be totally cranky with mom no matter what we still love them like crazy.

lynnettemt

I felt that way at first. I used to joke that LO saw everyone else as a person but me as a nipple:). Mommy is functional while others are fun. If you think about it that makes mommy indispensable to them. You are like an extension of who they are. Now he's also seeing me as fun sometimes. When I have a long day at work now he can't get to me fast enough when I come in the door.

wheresilenceismusic

This is totally normal!!  Researchers consistently find that babies of both genders take their mothers for granted.  They "flirt" more with their fathers.  It's an evolutionary adaptation to keep their fathers - and other adults - around.  They assume their mamas will always be there for them!  (And we will be!)  

I know it's not great to learn that babies take us for granted.  But we mean the best things to our babies:  security, consistency, food.  We are the center of their worlds.  We are Mother Earth to them.

babymorgan72015

I spend basically 24/7 with my little one since she joins me at work. Whenever her daddy is home from work she totally does do the whole "flirt" thing. She will stare at him till he looks at her and smiles then she grins acts shy and burrows her face into me then does it over & over again.

Handree

My son is with my MIL during the day while I am at work. I am worried that since I have returned to work we have not been as bonded as we were before. I also worry that he is going to be closer to his grandma then he is to me. I think it's natural for us moms to worry about our bond with our kids. It means we care deeply. 

KAR8706

LO is home all day with daddy and when I get home, he is all about me. He gets plenty of bonding time with us both but like PP have said, you are mom. You are her rock and she knows that.