Unpopular opinion: whenever people post that they're pregnant and single, or dating the dad but not married, I cringe. Marriage, then sex, then babies.
UO: after experiencing 2 previous miscarriages I am not on the "tell everyone because then you'll have more support" boat. I tell people who I know will support me if a misscariage happens. I'm not into having my Facebook friends telling me how sorry they are for my loss. I hate telling people I've had a miscarriage because I feel like my body has failed at doing something it was genetically programmed to do (yes I know it's a harsh opinion of myself and I would never say that someone who has a miscarriage failed I'm just hard on myself). Besides there are very few people in my close circle and I intend to keep it that way.
Here's an UO:
I know it's for support, and I know I'm a horrible person for thinking this but... I hate the "I'm no longer pregnant" threads. As a FTM, it makes miscarriage seem really common.
This.
Me: 28 | Husband: 39 Married March 2016 DD: born 7.22.16 DS EDD: 6.23.18
Unpopular opinion: whenever people post that they're pregnant and single, or dating the dad but not married, I cringe. Marriage, then sex, then babies.
My UO, I disagree with everything about this statement. I actually enjoyed sex before I got married. It's called being responsible, and anyone having/raising a baby and doing a great job as a single parent should not be judged by other people. Marriage then sex then babies...it's going to be 2016 not 1951.
*edit* Raised by a single mom, and it took my dad 25 years to realize how to be a good father.*
UO: I really like alcohol. Having a few very small sips per week of DH's wine or whatever isn't a problem.
There is a lot of research from European countries that indicate that small amounts of alcohol really have no correlation to health issues in baby. I've known multiple women whose midwives told them a glass of wine a week was just fine. Personally, if you are lucky enough to not have wine turn your tummy sour during pregnancy (the thought makes my stomach do flips), sip away!!!
UO: I think the song "Pregnant Women Are Smug" by Garfunkel and Oates is incredibly funny. I catch myself singing it to myself and I feel bad because we all have a right to feel proud that we get to carry a baby (especially for those who struggle with loss or infertility).
Another one: Am I grateful to be pregnant? Hell yes. Am I grateful for this constant nausea and accompanying BS? Hell no.
I hate when other women are like, "be grateful for those symptoms because they mean you're pregnant!" No. I will not. I'll go ahead and take the wonderful 2nd trimester, please. Thanks.
I am seriously considering stopping dying my hair. I have dark brown hair and started getting grays in my 20's. I'm only 31 but am so tired of the upkeep and expense of it all. My natural color is so much prettier than anything out of a box/tube and I kind of want to enjoy it again, even if it's sprinkled with gray!
I'd also like to add as another UO, I think my husbands friends should mind their own business, and keep their,"You've only been married 6 months, why have a kid?" thoughts to themselves. Because if I want to be a snoot, I have no problem letting them know that in fact, we've been together for almost 4 years so go Vajazzle yourself. Why does it matter so much to other people how long someone has been married for? It affects nothing with your life.
@iamtheoracle considering an enormous amount of marriages end in divorce (last I remember 50%) could have changed since then. I wholeheartedly disagree with you. I am not married, engaged for over 2 years, and I am in no rush to marry the most amazing man and father in the world. We have a better relationship than any married couple I personally know. Cringe away, but IDGAF that I had a baby before I got married. My relationship is just fine thanks
Unpopular opinion: whenever people post that they're pregnant and single, or dating the dad but not married, I cringe. Marriage, then sex, then babies.
My UO, I disagree with everything about this statement. I actually enjoyed sex before I got married. It's called being responsible, and anyone having/raising a baby and doing a great job as a single parent should not be judged by other people. Marriage then sex then babies...it's going to be 2016 not 1951.
*edit* Raised by a single mom, and it took my dad 25 years to realize how to be a good father.*
I'd also like to add as another UO, I think my husbands friends should mind their own business, and keep their,"You've only been married 6 months, why have a kid?" thoughts to themselves. Because if I want to be a snoot, I have no problem letting them know that in fact, we've been together for almost 4 years so go Vajazzle yourself. Why does it matter so much to other people how long someone has been married for? It affects nothing with your life.
Completely agree with this sentiment! I know a ton of people who don't want kids who say "Why have a kid ever?" and also one particular d-bag who likes to say things and post articles about "Parents don't deserve special treatment/ extra time off aka leave/ more flexibility in the workplace". Yep everyone who dislikes kids or families can eat shit as far as I'm concerned.
My DH and I get crap from people because while we've been married for a year, we've only been together a little over 2 years total. We moved in after 3 weeks of dating, moved across the country together after 3 months of dating, got engaged at 6 months, and got married about 10 months after that. We've been married now as long as we were together! I know people who've dated longer than we've been together and I just don't care. I don't think time or status is any indicator of how healthy or happy a relationship is. I'm one of those annoying people who says "When you know, you know!" and I truly believe that. In my experience, finding the right person was hard, but knowing when I found him was easy. If we'd have gotten married the day we met or never it would make no difference.
Ya know, I never engage with the folks who are like, "OMG! Why do people have kids before they're married?!" because they are so far up their asses in that ivory tower that it's such a waste of my time and energy. "Holier than thou" is just not my thing.
I HATE Christmas shopping, and really all gift shopping in general. I would gladly never receive another holiday/birthday/anniversary/etc gift again. Can we just spend time together and have a nice dinner instead?
My UO: I really dont like it when people use the word prego and preggers... Why the need to make it sound so "cute". (which isn't cute to me, it makes me want to punch something) PREGNANT... PREGNANT PREGNANT PREGNANT....
My UO: I really dont like it when people use the word prego and preggers... Why the need to make it sound so "cute". (which isn't cute to me, it makes me want to punch something) PREGNANT... PREGNANT PREGNANT PREGNANT....
My UO: I really dont like it when people use the word prego and preggers... Why the need to make it sound so "cute". (which isn't cute to me, it makes me want to punch something) PREGNANT... PREGNANT PREGNANT PREGNANT....
This really made me want meat sauce.
Currently making myself some spaghetti with meat sauce
My unpopular opinion is I dislike smug married people making judgements on other people's life choices.
I also can't stand the person who was telling me if I truly studied the Bible, I would understand why I have to dissown my child if they were gay. I never even claimed to believe in the Bible. Someone telling me that a book should dictate how I love my unborn child is making me homicidal.
Long and short- judgemental, closed minded people can bite me.
My UO: I really dont like it when people use the word prego and preggers... Why the need to make it sound so "cute". (which isn't cute to me, it makes me want to punch something) PREGNANT... PREGNANT PREGNANT PREGNANT....
This really made me want meat sauce.
Currently making myself some spaghetti with meat sauce
The term Meat Sauce made me gag a little bit haha.
The term Meat Sauce made me gag a little bit haha.
I did question whether it was appropriate to post the term 'meat sauce.' Then I decided I was good if I didn't include a GIF. Sorry for your dry heave!
My UO: I really dont like it when people use the word prego and preggers... Why the need to make it sound so "cute". (which isn't cute to me, it makes me want to punch something) PREGNANT... PREGNANT PREGNANT PREGNANT....
This really made me want meat sauce.
Currently making myself some spaghetti with meat sauce
Here's an UO:
I know it's for support, and I know I'm a horrible person for thinking this but... I hate the "I'm no longer pregnant" threads. As a FTM, it makes miscarriage seem really common.
I hate those threads too.
I hate them because it means someone has lost their dear child(ren). I hate that they have to go through such pain.
And I HATE that society as a whole seems to want to silence them. Loss parents should be able to speak out however and whenever they so choose.
Another one: Am I grateful to be pregnant? Hell yes. Am I grateful for this constant nausea and accompanying BS? Hell no.
I hate when other women are like, "be grateful for those symptoms because they mean you're pregnant!" No. I will not. I'll go ahead and take the wonderful 2nd trimester, please. Thanks.
Eta: isn't this a place where we can bitch about symptoms and bitch about how it sucks to feel crappy?! I don't need to tell you all how grateful I am, I thought it was just assumed!
Here's an UO: I know it's for support, and I know I'm a horrible person for thinking this but... I hate the "I'm no longer pregnant" threads. As a FTM, it makes miscarriage seem really common.
I hate those threads too.
I hate them because it means someone has lost their dear child(ren). I hate that they have to go through such pain.
And I HATE that society as a whole seems to want to silence them. Loss parents should be able to speak out however and whenever they so choose.
*eta- XTina looks a little too happy in the gif but a one in four statistic is very high and I agree that keeping things silent is a huge problem.
My unpopular opinion is I dislike smug married people making judgements on other people's life choices.
I also can't stand the person who was telling me if I truly studied the Bible, I would understand why I have to dissown my child if they were gay. I never even claimed to believe in the Bible. Someone telling me that a book should dictate how I love my unborn child is making me homicidal.
Long and short- judgemental, closed minded people can bite me.
Even though I personally consider myself a Christian, all of this. First of all, dissowning a child is not a Godly thing to do regardless of how you read the Bible. My ILs drive me crazy bc they are definitely the judgmental, close minded type that call themselves Christians. Someone actually posted a ridiculous meme on FB about Muslims and how they shouldn't be called bigots bc Islam isn't a race, but a set of ideas. *I cringed writing that.* I wanted to post the definition of bigot, but I need to keep the peace. They sure make it hard though!
Here is a picture taken on my wedding day... with my two boys. My first was not planned. My second was. Judge away lol. Marriage absolutely does not equal good, stable parents.
@MamaBish - thank you. My UO is that I don't like that society prefers miscarriages to be kept quiet. If I had known how common they were, I wouldn't have been so utterly blind-sided by my first one. Also, the last thing that someone that had a miscarriage should worry about is whether their loss (and need for support) makes someone else uncomfortable.
TTC#1 since Jan 2015 BFP 2/19/15 • MMC found at 9 wks • D&E at 11 wks (age 36) BFP 8/29/15 • CP (age 37)
BFP 11/18/15 • DD born at 41 weeks (age 37/38)
TTC#2 since May 2017 BFP 10/18/17 • MMC found at 8 wks • Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39) BFP 2/16/18 • CP (age 39) BFP 4/13/18 • CP (age 39) BFP 5/07/18 • MMC found at 10.5 wks • D&E at 11.5 wks • Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40) 9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied) RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy. BFP 9/24/18 • CP (age 40)
BFP 5/11/19 • Fraternal twins • MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w) • Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)
@MotherOfDucks I am tired of the hands full comments too.
It also infuriates me when people see I have three boys and say, "I'm sorry". Well eff you very much!!! Why the heck would you be sorry that I have three amazing, healthy boys?!
While we have already told family and close friends about this pregnancy, I am dreading announcing on FB because I know all the, "FX it's a girl!" and "Are you going for #5 if it's another boy?" comments are coming. Blergh.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
My UO: I'm tired of people (whom have never been pregnant) tell me or suggest what I should and shouldn't eat, do, act, or whatever it may be. I'm researching everything, and I'm not doing anything that would jeopardize my unborn baby or myself, but the opinions of others are ridiculous!
If I want to gather ideas on nurseries, showers, or photo shoots...That's my decision. If I want to have a sip or 2 of coffee in the morning... That's my decision.
Since when does being pregnant mean you also have a sign on you're forehead that says, "give me all your unwanted opinions and advice on my unborn child!?"
@reyesdnh I hate to be the bearer of bad news but it gets worse when the baby is born. Everyone is the perfect parent before they have kids and they have absolutely no problem telling you exactly what you are doing wrong and what their sister's best friend's cousin's did that worked so much better or even better what a random article on the Internet said.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
My UO is that I'm tired of people using the term "bullying" for everything. I understand what bullying is and the impact that it has on victims of bullying. But I feel that we're being "bullied" into generalizing every snark, conflict or unwelcome statement as bullying. #sorrynotsorry
My UO: I'm tired of people (whom have never been pregnant) tell me or suggest what I should and shouldn't eat, do, act, or whatever it may be. I'm researching everything, and I'm not doing anything that would jeopardize my unborn baby or myself, but the opinions of others are ridiculous!
If I want to gather ideas on nurseries, showers, or photo shoots...That's my decision. If I want to have a sip or 2 of coffee in the morning... That's my decision.
Since when does being pregnant mean you also have a sign on you're forehead that says, "give me all your unwanted opinions and advice on my unborn child!?"
This! My 22 year old sil who is single with no children keeps doing this!
My SIL keeps doing the samething, except she's 34, and I'm 30. I honestly have no problem with advice to a certain degree, but she's taking it to another level. I think she's a little upset that she isn't the one giving her parents the first grandchild, and she's taken it upon herself to tell me everything I should be doing, and how she would do things differently if it was her.
Re: UO Thursday
Married March 2016
DD: born 7.22.16
DS EDD: 6.23.18
Married: May 16th 2015
July BMB May Signature Challenge
Married: May 16th 2015
July BMB May Signature Challenge
I am not married, engaged for over 2 years, and I am in no rush to marry the most amazing man and father in the world. We have a better relationship than any married couple I personally know.
Cringe away, but IDGAF that I had a baby before I got married. My relationship is just fine thanks
Married: May 16th 2015
Married: October 23, 2010
DS: 8/7/2013
#2 EDD: 6/29/2016, C Section: 6/22/2016
July BMB May Signature Challenge
July BMB May Signature Challenge
Married: October 23, 2010
DS: 8/7/2013
#2 EDD: 6/29/2016, C Section: 6/22/2016
Currently making myself some spaghetti with meat sauce
I also can't stand the person who was telling me if I truly studied the Bible, I would understand why I have to dissown my child if they were gay. I never even claimed to believe in the Bible. Someone telling me that a book should dictate how I love my unborn child is making me homicidal.
Long and short- judgemental, closed minded people can bite me.
Married: May 16th 2015
Married: October 23, 2010
DS: 8/7/2013
#2 EDD: 6/29/2016, C Section: 6/22/2016
Married: May 16th 2015
Eta: isn't this a place where we can bitch about symptoms and bitch about how it sucks to feel crappy?! I don't need to tell you all how grateful I am, I thought it was just assumed!
*eta- XTina looks a little too happy in the gif but a one in four statistic is very high and I agree that keeping things silent is a huge problem.
My ILs drive me crazy bc they are definitely the judgmental, close minded type that call themselves Christians. Someone actually posted a ridiculous meme on FB about Muslims and how they shouldn't be called bigots bc Islam isn't a race, but a set of ideas. *I cringed writing that.* I wanted to post the definition of bigot, but I need to keep the peace. They sure make it hard though!
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
BFP 2/19/15 • MMC found at 9 wks • D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
BFP 8/29/15 • CP (age 37)
TTC#2 since May 2017
BFP 10/18/17 • MMC found at 8 wks • Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)
BFP 2/16/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 4/13/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 5/07/18 • MMC found at 10.5 wks • D&E at 11.5 wks • Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)
RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.
BFP 9/24/18 • CP (age 40)
It also infuriates me when people see I have three boys and say, "I'm sorry". Well eff you very much!!! Why the heck would you be sorry that I have three amazing, healthy boys?!
While we have already told family and close friends about this pregnancy, I am dreading announcing on FB because I know all the, "FX it's a girl!" and "Are you going for #5 if it's another boy?" comments are coming. Blergh.
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
If I want to gather ideas on nurseries, showers, or photo shoots...That's my decision. If I want to have a sip or 2 of coffee in the morning... That's my decision.
Since when does being pregnant mean you also have a sign on you're forehead that says, "give me all your unwanted opinions and advice on my unborn child!?"
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙