Planning baby's due date around family events...?

nanderson09

Hello ladies!

I am new to the world of starting a family, but very excited to be here! My husband and I have been married for 5 years, have wanted a family for at least that long but have kept putting it off for various reasons (career, moving, travel...) We are finally to the point of trying to conceive a baby, and I'm so excited I want to start ASAP. However, we looked at a calendar and realized that if we were to conceive at my next ovulation, baby would be due about 3 weeks after my brother-in-law gets married next fall. It is a wedding that we would preferably fly to get to (or else drive for 2 days), and we are both in the wedding party. 

If it were you, would you wait an extra cycle to start trying? Or would you go for it now and hope for the best i.e. that I will be able to stick it out for 2 days of driving at 37 weeks pregnant...

I know it doesn't always happen on the first try, so all the more reason why I want to start trying sooner. I'm just tired of putting off starting our family because things like this are continually coming up. I mean, we've been doing this for FIVE YEARS now. Why does that extra month feel like an eternity?

Thank you for your advice!

SusieG85

I just had a pre-conception appointment and my doc told me the usual about it taking a year for healthy couples, but she also said she's had plenty of moms pregnant on the first cycle. It felt like a bit of a warning, haha! I'm in the same boat with a family wedding so we may push back a month on ttc :-(

gardeniagirlknits

We waited to start trying for a while because of circumstances that were less than ideal... And now... A year from when we started, I regret that choice fully. Then when we started trying, we basically lived as though we would be pregnant... Ex: not planning vacations or season ski passes... Regret that too. Hope this doesn't happen to you, truly... But... It could. But then again... One cycle is nothing in the grande scheme of things... So if it makes you feel better, then wait. But start temping and checking cm and if you think there is any cause for concern health wise, get it all checked out... Hormones tested ect. Good luck!

Xstatic3333

I have a wedding next summer that messed with our planning a bit, too.  It's local, but I want to give myself every chance of being, oh, you know, not in labor for it It's a very good friend, and probably the only wedding I'll ever be a bridesmaid in.  She's not a jerk who will care if I'm huge, I just want to make sure I can be there (barring crazy things that can happen to anyone at any time, of course).  I'm pretty sure that at this point the latest I could be for it is 38 weeks, but since putting things on hold initially a few other issues came up and yada, yada, yada now we're looking at March.  

Only you can make this choice.  I do think that gardeniagirlknits brought up some great points, and I think about that perspective a lot. At the same time, at 37 weeks I highly doubt your doctor will be okay with you making a two days drive, even if you have a very healthy pregnancy.  Maybe some of the STM+ around can give you more clarity there.  I guess my bottom line is that waiting a month isn't the worst thing, but at a certain point you just need to take the plunge and realize that some things will likely be missed once you do get pregnant, but it will be worth it in the end.   I also think starting to chart is a great idea.  I did, and I am able to see from my charts that I am pretty regular and do ovulate each month.  That has put my mind at ease quite a bit.  

als1982

gardeniagirlknits said:

We waited to start trying for a while because of circumstances that were less than ideal... And now... A year from when we started, I regret that choice fully. Then when we started trying, we basically lived as though we would be pregnant... Ex: not planning vacations or season ski passes... Regret that too. Hope this doesn't happen to you, truly... But... It could. But then again... One cycle is nothing in the grande scheme of things... So if it makes you feel better, then wait. But start temping and checking cm and if you think there is any cause for concern health wise, get it all checked out... Hormones tested ect. Good luck!

This. All of this. Waiting a cycle or two is one thing, but I wouldn't any longer than that. We held out because of travel, and here we still are after 7+ months of trying.

nanderson09

Thank you all so much for your input and advice! I really appreciate it!

lovesclimbing

I would probably hold off a cycle. Weddings are one of the few times family can all get together so for me it would be worth it to wait.

On the other hand, a family member missed their brother's wedding because his wife was due within about two weeks of the wedding. Granted, they live closer together and their families can get together on a more regular basis.