Opening presents at shower?

Knottie59802221

So my baby shower is coming up soonish and I have an etiquette question. Personally, when I have gone to showers in the past, I have absolutely dreaded the 1-2 hours of present opening and the oooing and ahhhing. Is it rude to skip that and open presents after the shower? Of course, I would send very nice, personal thank you cards. I'm not sure what to do, thanks.

Knottie1442268460

It's rude. Opening in front of people is the price you pay... You can open quickly, hold up 1 thing and pass them on if they want to look closer.

Sassenach1743

Not opening your gifts at the shower being thrown in your honor, which is the objective if the event itself, is extremely rude.
You may think it's boring but it is expected that you acknowledge the kindness of your guests by letting them see your reaction.

Bringmemylongswordho

Extremely rude. I attend a shower to give you (mom to be) a gift. You (mom to be ) show your appreciation for me giving up a Saturday afternoon by opening that gift and pretending it is the cutest fucking onsie you've ever seen and that you love it so much more than the actually useful gift it was bundled with.

Part of accepting a shower is accepting that you have to open gifts in front of people.

Knottie59802221

Thank you for the feedback, I appreciate it. I've never considered baby showers to be about the presents so it's never been that important to me. I've always thought that it was about getting together and celebrating that my friends are going to be parents for the first time. I love the idea of breaking up the present opening though, that was very helpful.

Disneygeek77

People want to see your reaction to their gift, so it is always polite to open their gift in their presence. Serve cake, play music, play gift bingo, maybe pass around a book of advice and that will help it be more lively. Also have a dedicated person to hand you the gifts, write down thank you card info and another to throw all the wrapping away. Oh and don't be delicate when opening the gifts, just tear into them.

Corts

Open them. Everyone loves googling over cute baby shit.

VOR

ALso, depending on how big your shower is, the gift opening does NOT have to take long.  Be efficient.  Is there a long note in the card?  Don't read it - save it for later.  Afraid to rip the paper?  Just rip it.  Appropriately respond to the gift, hold it up, look at the gift giver and say thanks, then move on to the next gift.  People will talk (hopefully) while you do this - you don't have to stop opening in order to listen to them (I had a friend who did this and it made the gift opening take FOREVER).  Listen as you open - if something is said that you need to respond to, of course stop and respond.  But keep opening/stay active. 

TRUST ME- while your guests want to see you open their gift, they also don't want to sit through a painfully long gift opening.  Don't be dainty about it.  Just open, react, move on.  Everyone will be happy. 

Corts

My cousin just had a bridal shower with 150+ guests. Her bridesmaids were extremely efficient. One would open the card and lie it flat on the gift and hand it to her. Another girl would circulate the room with the gift. One was in charge of the trash and another wrote down the gift givers names with what they gave. It was almost like an assembly line but it saved a ton of time and everyone got to see the gifts up close.

SnarkasaurusRex

Corts said:

My cousin just had a bridal shower with 150+ guests. Her bridesmaids were extremely efficient. One would open the card and lie it flat on the gift and hand it to her. Another girl would circulate the room with the gift. One was in charge of the trash and another wrote down the gift givers names with what they gave. It was almost like an assembly line but it saved a ton of time and everyone got to see the gifts up close.

Good lord; who has over 150 people at a bridal shower? That's nuts.

Lusitano8

I also don't like the part to open gifts, and I don't care if the recipient opens mine in the room in front of anyone or alone. 

I did see an idea to ask gifts to bring unwrapped gifts so everyone can see them on a gift table but not spend the hour watching someone open them. I don't know if this would satisfy most people but I like the idea.

DrillSergeantCat

Lusitano8 said:

I also don't like the part to open gifts, and I don't care if the recipient opens mine in the room in front of anyone or alone. 

I did see an idea to ask gifts to bring unwrapped gifts so everyone can see them on a gift table but not spend the hour watching someone open them. I don't know if this would satisfy most people but I like the idea.

Did you also see where most people think that's tacky? It gives the impression that you don't have time for the gift that the giver has chosen for you.

fwtx5815

Lusitano8 said:

I also don't like the part to open gifts, and I don't care if the recipient opens mine in the room in front of anyone or alone. 

I did see an idea to ask gifts to bring unwrapped gifts so everyone can see them on a gift table but not spend the hour watching someone open them. I don't know if this would satisfy most people but I like the idea.

This is a rude thing to ask of your guests. "Please take time out of your day to celebrate the mom-to-be, and spend your hard-earned money on her, but wrap your gift(s) in clear plastic because she can't be bothered to open her presents"

ETA - by you, I mean general you. 

Corts

SnarkasaurusRex said:

Corts said:

My cousin just had a bridal shower with 150+ guests. Her bridesmaids were extremely efficient. One would open the card and lie it flat on the gift and hand it to her. Another girl would circulate the room with the gift. One was in charge of the trash and another wrote down the gift givers names with what they gave. It was almost like an assembly line but it saved a ton of time and everyone got to see the gifts up close.

Good lord; who has over 150 people at a bridal shower? That's nuts.

Huge Italian family. The assembly line worked great.

coastal-mama

I as well loathe the opening of gifts at any party. It makes some people who didn't get the $300 gift and just got a gift card for $20 feel crappy. I say have a place for the gifts, and open them after the party. The party should be more focused on showering you with lots of love and support, games, food and fun. 

FemShep

ETaulbee said:

I as well loathe the opening of gifts at any party. It makes some people who didn't get the $300 gift and just got a gift card for $20 feel crappy. I say have a place for the gifts, and open them after the party. The party should be more focused on showering you with lots of love and support, games, food and fun. 

In that case, simply specify no gifts and don't have a traditional shower, problem solved!

If you want the stuff, you should open it in front of everyone.  The least you can do is show some gratitude for the things people give you, regardless of the value.  Besides, when you get a gift card, you don't announce the value.

Bringmemylongswordho

ETaulbee said:

I as well loathe the opening of gifts at any party. It makes some people who didn't get the $300 gift and just got a gift card for $20 feel crappy. I say have a place for the gifts, and open them after the party. The party should be more focused on showering you with lots of love and support, games, food and fun. 

This was totally a thread that needed to be revived.

OliveOyl2014

Bringmemylongswordho said:

ETaulbee said:

I as well loathe the opening of gifts at any party. It makes some people who didn't get the $300 gift and just got a gift card for $20 feel crappy. I say have a place for the gifts, and open them after the party. The party should be more focused on showering you with lots of love and support, games, food and fun. 

This was totally a thread that needed to be revived.

Don't mean to resurrect the thread again but that gif scared the crap out of me lol! I wasn't expecting to see that while scrolling down.

[Deleted User]

OliveOyl2014 said:

Bringmemylongswordho said:

ETaulbee said:

I as well loathe the opening of gifts at any party. It makes some people who didn't get the $300 gift and just got a gift card for $20 feel crappy. I say have a place for the gifts, and open them after the party. The party should be more focused on showering you with lots of love and support, games, food and fun. 

This was totally a thread that needed to be revived.

Don't mean to resurrect the thread again but that gif scared the crap out of me lol! I wasn't expecting to see that while scrolling down.

Oh my god that was my reaction to it as well!

stephweinstein

I would be pretty turned off if I went to a baby shower and the gifts weren't opened.  I know it's a lot of time for guests to sit through and it's a lot for the mom-to-be, but... I absolutely love watching the 18 seconds it takes you to open the gift I got you.  Keep in mind people don't pay attention the entire time and conversation phases in and out.

onefootinthebayou

ETaulbee said:

I as well loathe the opening of gifts at any party. It makes some people who didn't get the $300 gift and just got a gift card for $20 feel crappy. I say have a place for the gifts, and open them after the party. The party should be more focused on showering you with lots of love and support, games, food and fun. 

It's really ungracious not to open gifts during a shower.  

WkoutMomtoBe

I honestly despise the gift opening at any shower. of course I had to at my brudal shower and it was awful.....MIL taking pics of every gift I opened and digging through after to see what she missed. she dud this at sil's shower too.

My gf hadidn't baby shower where the was a note "No need to wrap gift in anyway....a little ribbon or twine will be jusing fine leaving more time to wine and dine". There was a table with all the gifts set out and it was very nice. I heard no complaints.

DrillSergeantCat

@WkoutMomtoBe please watch the dates on the threads you're commenting on. It's considered rude to bump threads that are more than two months old. This one is 7 months old and this baby is likely already born.

[Deleted User]

WkoutMomtoBe said:

I honestly despise the gift opening at any shower. of course I had to at my brudal shower and it was awful.....MIL taking pics of every gift I opened and digging through after to see what she missed. she dud this at sil's shower too.

My gf hadidn't baby shower where the was a note "No need to wrap gift in anyway....a little ribbon or twine will be jusing fine leaving more time to wine and dine". There was a table with all the gifts set out and it was very nice. I heard no complaints.

Of course you heard no complaints - I'm sure everyone there had the manners to talk crap about that etiquette fail at home.  If someone told me this I would feel annoyed.  I enjoy watching people take the time to open the gift that I thoughtfully chose out for them and have them thank me personally.  If I just put it in a giant pile and they vaguely glance at it then thank everyone generally I would feel pretty annoyed, and less likely to put thought into the gift.

stokesm21

Knottie59802221 said:

Thank you for the feedback, I appreciate it. I've never considered baby showers to be about the presents so it's never been that important to me. I've always thought that it was about getting together and celebrating that my friends are going to be parents for the first time. I love the idea of breaking up the present opening though, that was very helpful.

I would not be offended in the least if you didn't open my gift in front of me.  

DrillSergeantCat

stokesm21 said:

I would not be offended in the least if you didn't open my gift in front of me.  

This thread is literally a year old. 

@BumpAdmin can we close this since people cannot stop resurrecting it?

WkoutMomtoBe

Sorry....somehow this appeared so I commented, I didn't think to look at date but will in future. However since showers are a normal thing, I don't see it as issue. Someone  else might find it relevant. 

In past I and others have been scolded for starting new topics not and using existing threads. But I'll look dates...thanks

DrillSergeantCat

WkoutMomtoBe said:

Sorry....somehow this appeared so I commented, I didn't think to look at date but will in future. However since showers are a normal thing, I don't see it as issue. Someone  else might find it relevant. 

In past I and others have been scolded for starting new topics not and using existing threads. But I'll look dates...thanks

The general rule of thumb (more of a guideline) is that if the thread is more than 2 months old, don't comment on it. Obviously read them as much as you want! I know some of the BMBs get pretty irritated when you start a new thread for a topic that has been covered instead of searching. 

SaphireSweetie88

@BumpAdmin

Can we please close this thread since it's old??