Attachment Parenting


beanie1977beanie1977 member
edited November 2015 in Attachment Parenting
I wouldn't have thought attachment parenting was my "thing." I was raised by hippies and lived on a commune and wanted to do things differently when I parent. For example, provide routines and structure and limits- the things we did not have (though my crazy hippie childhood makes for good stories!) I turned out ok but life would have been easier with a few more boundaries and expectations.

After a c-section when I planned on hynobirthing, and serious struggle with breastfeeding where I produce less than an ounce of milk a day, and am essentially unable to do it at all, I find myself feeling much different about the way I want to bond and parent my child. I feel a huge loss over my delivery and experience with breastfeeding. Believe me, if there was something I was told to do to increase my supply I did it and had twice weekly lactation consultant appointments until it was determined that my supply wasn't increasing.

I'm giving my child breastmilk anyway, even if it's only a few drops to soothe him to sleep. He still eagerly feeds and at my last lactation appointment he was getting about 8 ml from each side. We are cosleeping (he's in a cosleeper between us) and I'm wearing him as much as possible in my moby wrap. I'm doing this to make up for whatever is lost from the limited breast feeding.

Instead of the routine I started with (from the baby whisperer) I've started using his cues instead of my plans for how to spend our days.

Fortunately he's a super happy baby most of the time and is easy going.

Anyway, has anyone else come to this method by surprise, thinking you'd use a much more structured approach to parenting?

Re: Introduction

  • Me! I had to have a round crib for my daughter including the Angel Care monitor.. I had a rough, unplanned recovery (because of my delivery), do you think that's part of it?

    All I know is that I want the best for her and, despite the "dangers" of co-sleeping, I feel like she's safer next to me that in a bassinet. One of the nights in the hospital, they came in to check my vitals. I looked over and, swaddled in the hospital bassinet, my daughter had foam coming out of her mouth and it was already running down her neck. The nurse acted quickly, scooping her up and pounding on her back, then suctioning her mouth..but that's all I could think about when we got home and it came time to put her across the room in her own bed.

    I just found this group myself yesterday but, with that said, welcome!
  • Me, but from the completely different experience from you OP. My parents had their first baby over 50 years ago. They raised all of us on the, "get baby on a schedule, and let nothing interfere with that" model.

    So I was brought up with that in the back of my mind when my older siblings started having babies.

    I first found this board when I was pregnant, and I thought AP mothers were "martyrs" and really a bit crazy. I was all about making baby fit into my day yada yada yada. 

    Then I had a baby. I BF my eldest to over 18mths, and my middle child to over 3 yrs (If you said I would BF a 3 yr old I would have laughed at you). Eldest self-weaned and I basically kicked the 3 yr old off because I got some kind of injury that got infected and I was in agony. I Bed-share with all my babies, and although I've followed a routine with all my babies to give them a sense of consistency and security, there is no schedule.

    But really I've gotten to trust my own instincts and don't get caught up in the logistics of how I parent. Baby sleeps in a cot when it suits, and in out bed when it suits. I babywear, and use a stroller. When we start solids, I'm happy to offer purees and finger foods. I EBF but intoduce a bottle to give myself that flexibility. I allow baby to nurse when he wants, but I use a dummy too because sometimes he just wants to suckle and all that milk ends up hurting his tummy etc etc etc.

    Anyway welcome and best wishes to you!
    Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old

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  • dufferoodufferoo member
    edited November 2015
    I also discovered "attachment parenting" by accident. I was young and single when I had my daughter, isolated from other parents and their "techniques," so I just parented instinctively. I held my baby when she cried, I nursed her when she seemed hungry, I slept with her because she didn't like to lay alone in her crib. I wouldn't say it was easy to parent like this, but it just felt very natural. My daughter was probably 6 months old before I stumbled upon The Dr. Sears book, and I remember being awe-struck that this way that I was parenting was an official thing! Ten years later, when I had my son, I was in a very different place in my life and I kind of thought I'd try things out the the more standard American structured way, but once again, as I held my newborn, instincts just took over, and back to attachment parenting it was! I am so grateful now for the close bonds I have with both my children, and the confident, thoughtful people they are growing into. Best wishes to you and your son, every step of the way!
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