Everything said is all very real possibilities, but not guarantees. I had terrible back labor and an epidural from 3cm+, 40 hour labor, infection last few hours where I was freezing and on an IV antibiotic, 2nd degree tear, couldn't shower for over 30 hours post delivery due to IV...But I never needed frozen anything in my undies, only needed the peri bottle for a few days, pretty easy first poop after delivery using colace, no hemorrhoids, bled heavy for about a week, 3 additional weeks of regular period bleeding. Maybe it didn't seem "so bad" to me because DD was in the hospital for 10 days so nothing seemed to compare, but I honestly expected worse, and it isn't always that terrible.
Don't get freaked out! Recovery in general is "ugly" because of bleeding and exhaustion, but I ended up having a c-section and my recovery from that was a breeze. I was up walking around that night and hardly needed any pain medication. The first poop afterward was also not a big deal thanks to the stool softeners they gave me. I bled longer than I expected, but it wasn't more than a normal pad could handle. Everyone's experience is different, just like everyone's pregnancy is different and everyone's babies will be different.
Ugh the pushing on the uterus was unreal. I had no idea it was coming. And just when I and the baby would fall asleep, they'd come in and do it again. Forget sleeping afterwards. I definitely got hemorrhoids after, and still deal with them, but my first poop wasn't as bad as I feared (and I've suffered from anal fissures due to constipation and straining in the past...tmi?), which was quite relieving. The night sweats were crazy. And I lost so much hair until the day I stopped nursing a year later. And I had so many gray hairs pop out the day she was born. And of course the crying. But so many of those crying episodes were over how in love I was, how unbelievably beautiful she was, how incredible everything was (even the labor), etc. I loved it. Just don't get me started on BFing though, that made me cry for the exact opposite reasons. Also, sex for the first time after was terrifying. And it took many times before it started to feel "ok" for me.
But, to elaborate a bit on my sex comment, I had some weird (but can be normal) scarring from the stitches on the inside of my vagina that was causing intense dull aching, some occasional shooting pains, and major discomfort during sex. They addressed it in an easy procedure, and everything was much better.
My scheduled induction with DS lasted approximately 5.5 hours from check in to delivery. Epi only worked on half of my body which was strange. I don't remember nearly as much about labor as I do about post-partum.
Infinity pads are the BEST once you're out of ice pack pads - thin and very absorbent. I bled for ~5 weeks. The smell of it is the worst part IMO, it's not the same as a regular period in that respect for sure.
TMI but my tearing made pooping very difficult, almost 5 years later and I still have problems being able to push out firm BMs. It doesn't hurt but the sphincter was impaired during delivery.
Pre mobile I left DS wherever he was to go poo or what not. Once he was mobile he would follow me. We taught him right away how to go down the two steps from our living room to the bathroom (he actually did steps before he properly crawled). He opened doors super early and there was no escaping him so he watches me poop now. I call it potty training awareness haha. He likes to take toilet paper and toss it in and he always flushes the toilet for me.
I shower in the morning when DS watches him, during nap, or at night. Or if I am disgusting and have to shower and I'm alone with DS I just let him play in the bathroom but usually it ends up with him coming into the shower.
I didn't realize it would be hard to walk after a vaginal delivery. I limped for a good few days. Also the swelling. I had ZERO swelling during pregnancy so totally thought I'd escape that. Nope, about 24 hours after delivery my hands and feet were super swollen.
Usually you can't eat if you have an epidural but you will get an IV of fluids. It's exhausting but every woman with an epi ever has done it, so can you! And plus also the epi lets you relax so when it's time to push you're not as exhausted.
Tip: Night nurses are much more laid back than day nurses. Ask them for all the supplies. For you and baby. They'll let you hoard some to take home.
Tip: the nursery is your friend. Send baby there and ask nurse to bring them to you ever x hours (I recommend 3) or if baby is crying to be fed. Seriously, do this. You will still be able to breastfeed successfully (hopefully!). What I mean is this will not affect breast feeding. I did this and pumped a few minutes after each feed to get my milk to come in quick. I successfully nursed for 19 months.
Tip: Give your baby that damn paci. There are actual empirical studies that nipple confusion is a myth, versus anecdotal evidence that you get from la leche league. We gave DS a paci at 12 hours old AND he has a bottle before boob (NICU) and he still breastfed.
Random opinion: The lactation consultant at the hospital is usually not great. She's usually not an IBCLC but just a CLC. If you want a good Lactation consultant I recommend getting a private one (many take insurance), because from anecdotal evidence I've gathered, the hospital ones mostly suck.
That's all for now.
First BFP 12/2012, MMC at 9 weeks
Second BFP 6/2013, resulted in DS, born 2/23/14 :-)
Third BFP 5/2015, natural MC at 6 weeks
Fourth BFP 8/2015, hoping for sticky little brother or sister to H!
Proud SAHM to our little monkey H.
Pro Vax, extended breasftfeeder, ring sling and stroller loving mama. I don't judge you unless you don't vaccinate!
@NachosAndPeaches that is really reassuring. I won't be able to go on maternity leave when I give birth as I am finishing my bachelor degree this spring. I was hoping DH could give him bottle while I was gone and then breastfeed before leaving and when I'm home, but I was told he wouldn't take breast if I bottle fed him.
@NachosAndPeaches that is really reassuring. I won't be able to go on maternity leave when I give birth as I am finishing my bachelor degree this spring. I was hoping DH could give him bottle while I was gone and then breastfeed before leaving and when I'm home, but I was told he wouldn't take breast if I bottle fed him.
I mean I can't guarantee it, but it's definitely doable! There are also bottles and nipple flows that can help ease the transition.
First BFP 12/2012, MMC at 9 weeks
Second BFP 6/2013, resulted in DS, born 2/23/14 :-)
Third BFP 5/2015, natural MC at 6 weeks
Fourth BFP 8/2015, hoping for sticky little brother or sister to H!
Proud SAHM to our little monkey H.
Pro Vax, extended breasftfeeder, ring sling and stroller loving mama. I don't judge you unless you don't vaccinate!
@elasticheart13 DS never suffered from nipple confusion. He breastfed, was bottled fed and had a pacifier. All different nipples. We had to bottle feed because I wasn't producing enough for him and had to supplement. Plus it allowed DH to help feed him which he loved.
@elasticheart13 No nipple confusion here. DD nursed within minutes of being born, and then she was with me for about 12 hours before she was transferred to the NICU (but they do not eat a ton in that first 12ish hour time frame because birth exhausts them too). She had a paci and bottle in the NICU, as well as nursed as often as I could be there. She nursed until she was 8 months old and I had to stop pumping due to a new job and not being able to find pumping breaks as I could familiar with my new teaching position. She never had an issue going bottle to boob, never had an issue with any bottles we gave her either.
Thanks ladies, everyone else kept telling me to forget being able to breastfeed but I will remain hopeful now and give it my best shot!
All you can do is try! I cried a thousand tears and put so much pressure on myself when I wasn't producing enough for DS. I felt like a failure and I did everything I could with the exception of weighted feeds. It was torture. Do not let anyone discourage you. Do what works for you and your family.
This post is great, as a refresher for us STMs too! Thanks to everyone who is sharing great info, and asking great questions!
My two deliveries were both inductions. With my first they gave me a shot of demerol before the epidural. Not sure if they still do that anymore, but if they give you the choice, I'd really advise against it. It made me woozy and sleepy. Once the epidural was in, I was OUT. They had to wake me up to tell me to push. Not good... You want to remember the experience. You'll (mostly) forget any discomfort you still feel after the epi (usually).
When I was admitted for my second induction, they casually mentioned that I would be staying an extra day since I'd hemmorraged after my first (it was a 9lb 10oz baby)... I'd had no idea. So don't be afraid to ask a lot of questions if you're not sure how everything is going.
+1 that you might poop (or, let's not forget, pee... which unfortunately may gain significant distance and velocity when you are pushing in earnest). Your doctor and nurses have undoubtedly seen it all before, but still... Yeah, it's embarrassing. Try to get up to potty as much as you can in the early stages.
I remember watching my doctor doing my first episiotomy... He was stitching hard and fast, and I could feel the tug on my body when he'd pull back the needle, but I remember being amazed & grateful that I couldn't actually feel the stitches being made... And I was thinking "geez take your time man, I don't want to look like Frankenstein's monster down there."
Episiotomy stitches CAN pop. They'll tell you they won't, but they might. Mine did after my second. Not the end of the world if they do... But just FYI.
There are several great pins on Pinterest for how to make post-delivery cold packs that look very promising. +1 for buying an extra can of pain relieving spray, that stuff makes the angels sing when you really need it. And save yourself the frustration and laundry, and don't even try to wear nice underwear for several weeks after baby arrives.
Be sure to bring socks and wraps/shawls if you tend to get chilly. Bring your own wet/baby wipes to use on yourself, if you're particular about the kind you use. I also plan on bringing a can of dry shampoo, in case it's a while before I can shower.
When you first take baby home, you should make it a point to sleep when the baby sleeps as much as possible. You'll probably have people wanting to visit, and there will be stuff you feel like you "need" to do, but seriously, rest as much as you can for the first few days. Well-wishes and chores can wait.
@elasticheart13 no nipple confusion here either. He had a bottle and pacifier before he successfully nursed and we had no issues going back and forth between the two.
@yodiggity it's to make sure your uterus is contracting back down. I had a csection and it's not that painful it was just annoying when you're trying to sleep or get comfortable.
These posts have all been super helpful! My last vaginal delivery was 9 years ago, so there's so much I forgot about (like the bleeding for 6 weeks! How could I have forgotten about that??)
Also wanted to add, I had one vaginal delivery, and one c-section... I'll take the vaginal delivery with all the bad stuff any day over the c/s! Both were uncomplicated for me, but I was up walking around like a normal person just 3 days after my vag. But with the c-section, it was 2 weeks before I could walk across the house without needing a nap afterward.
No one ever searched me for hemmorhiods either but they did push on my uterus. I had a c section so I thought that was why. Not sure if they do that for vaginal birth.
They do it to help it contract back down. It wasn't painful for me, and honestly there was so much going on the first time that I didn't even notice it was happening. But the second and third time I noticed, because of the sounds my body made....
Also, I know this doesn't happen to everyone, but I had to have my rings stretched. I stopped wearing my rings in the third tri due to swelling. So I figured a few days/ week after I delivered I thought they would fit again. Wrong. I waited months and they never fit again. I had to have them stretch a half size.
Whoever mentioned visitors wanting to come: we did not allow visitors in the hospital except immediate family. I seriously recommend it. Lie and say it's hospital policy if you need. Also people will want to come and meet the baby right away. It's okay to say no for a week or two while you adjust, sleep, etc, before you host company.
First BFP 12/2012, MMC at 9 weeks
Second BFP 6/2013, resulted in DS, born 2/23/14 :-)
Third BFP 5/2015, natural MC at 6 weeks
Fourth BFP 8/2015, hoping for sticky little brother or sister to H!
Proud SAHM to our little monkey H.
Pro Vax, extended breasftfeeder, ring sling and stroller loving mama. I don't judge you unless you don't vaccinate!
What about pre-labor prep? Am I supposed to go get a wax or something?
Haha trust me, the doctors DO NOT CARE what it looks like down there. And even if you are used to getting waxed, the nerves down there during pregnancy are so much more on edge. I do not wax, but I've heard from ladies that do it hurts a lot more during pregnancy. This usually comes up in a couple months when we all start complaining about not being able to shave our legs or lady bits due to an impeding belly (btw, I've heard of many DHs who have been gracious enough to help shave in the later months...mine simply suggested a wax. Because, you know, the first time I ever want to have that done is when I'm pregnant...)
I regularly have my bikini waxed and have not noticed a difference. I had a fresh wax right before DS arrived (unexpectedly two weeks early) and when they were prepping me for c section the nurse came over to shave me and said "well you've already taken care of everything haven't you"? lol. I cringe at the thought of my doctor having my hairy bush in his face. No thanks! I wax for myself, DH and def my OB.
I don't wax but I like to stay trim. SO and I have already discussed his obligation to maintain my lady parts when I can no longer do so myself. He is willingly in agreement.
@Reddingite810 I shaved down there the morning I started feeling real contractions. You will most likely have time to prep before things get intense! I shaved my legs and curled my hair that morning as well lol
No one ever checked me for hemmies either. I will say that mine were massive though so it wouldn't take a deliberate check to see those bad boys...(sorry tmi lol). I still shudder at the memory
DH and I agreed before I got pregnant that he will take over grooming and shoe-tying duties when I am no longer able. Otherwise, it itches and I can't concentrate, plus the last thing I want to think back on about delivery will be a 70's bush in the OB's face. I'll leave that to people who care less about it than I do.
Okay, SUPER important postpartum question that is unrelated to how miserable the experience is going to be:
I have heard rumors that the hospital will let you bring wine with you for after you've delivered. Is this true?!
I would imagine it depends on the hospital. I have no idea if mine while. The hospital DHs cousin delivered at 6 weeks before me apparently gave them a farewell breakfast including champagne when she was discharged...mad jealous.
Okay, SUPER important postpartum question that is unrelated to how miserable the experience is going to be:
I have heard rumors that the hospital will let you bring wine with you for after you've delivered. Is this true?!
I would imagine it depends on the hospital. I have no idea if mine while. The hospital DHs cousin delivered at 6 weeks before me apparently gave them a farewell breakfast including champagne when she was discharged...mad jealous.
Um say what?! Definitely need to add that to my list of questions for our hospital tour... Can a girl get some eggs Benedict and a mimosa please?!
Apparently the classiest of mimosas are made with orange sorbet, instead of juice. The more you know, right?
Okay, SUPER important postpartum question that is unrelated to how miserable the experience is going to be:
I have heard rumors that the hospital will let you bring wine with you for after you've delivered. Is this true?!
I would imagine it depends on the hospital. I have no idea if mine while. The hospital DHs cousin delivered at 6 weeks before me apparently gave them a farewell breakfast including champagne when she was discharged...mad jealous.
Um say what?! Definitely need to add that to my list of questions for our hospital tour... Can a girl get some eggs Benedict and a mimosa please?!
Don't ask. Just bring some in your bag. It's not like they check your bag. Besides, it's better to ask for forgiveness than ask for permission.
First BFP 12/2012, MMC at 9 weeks
Second BFP 6/2013, resulted in DS, born 2/23/14 :-)
Third BFP 5/2015, natural MC at 6 weeks
Fourth BFP 8/2015, hoping for sticky little brother or sister to H!
Proud SAHM to our little monkey H.
Pro Vax, extended breasftfeeder, ring sling and stroller loving mama. I don't judge you unless you don't vaccinate!
Re: FTM questions for STM
Infinity pads are the BEST once you're out of ice pack pads - thin and very absorbent. I bled for ~5 weeks. The smell of it is the worst part IMO, it's not the same as a regular period in that respect for sure.
TMI but my tearing made pooping very difficult, almost 5 years later and I still have problems being able to push out firm BMs. It doesn't hurt but the sphincter was impaired during delivery.
I shower in the morning when DS watches him, during nap, or at night. Or if I am disgusting and have to shower and I'm alone with DS I just let him play in the bathroom but usually it ends up with him coming into the shower.
I didn't realize it would be hard to walk after a vaginal delivery. I limped for a good few days. Also the swelling. I had ZERO swelling during pregnancy so totally thought I'd escape that. Nope, about 24 hours after delivery my hands and feet were super swollen.
Usually you can't eat if you have an epidural but you will get an IV of fluids. It's exhausting but every woman with an epi ever has done it, so can you! And plus also the epi lets you relax so when it's time to push you're not as exhausted.
Tip: Night nurses are much more laid back than day nurses. Ask them for all the supplies. For you and baby. They'll let you hoard some to take home.
Tip: the nursery is your friend. Send baby there and ask nurse to bring them to you ever x hours (I recommend 3) or if baby is crying to be fed. Seriously, do this. You will still be able to breastfeed successfully (hopefully!). What I mean is this will not affect breast feeding. I did this and pumped a few minutes after each feed to get my milk to come in quick. I successfully nursed for 19 months.
Tip: Give your baby that damn paci. There are actual empirical studies that nipple confusion is a myth, versus anecdotal evidence that you get from la leche league. We gave DS a paci at 12 hours old AND he has a bottle before boob (NICU) and he still breastfed.
Random opinion: The lactation consultant at the hospital is usually not great. She's usually not an IBCLC but just a CLC. If you want a good Lactation consultant I recommend getting a private one (many take insurance), because from anecdotal evidence I've gathered, the hospital ones mostly suck.
That's all for now.
My two deliveries were both inductions. With my first they gave me a shot of demerol before the epidural. Not sure if they still do that anymore, but if they give you the choice, I'd really advise against it. It made me woozy and sleepy. Once the epidural was in, I was OUT. They had to wake me up to tell me to push. Not good... You want to remember the experience. You'll (mostly) forget any discomfort you still feel after the epi (usually).
When I was admitted for my second induction, they casually mentioned that I would be staying an extra day since I'd hemmorraged after my first (it was a 9lb 10oz baby)... I'd had no idea. So don't be afraid to ask a lot of questions if you're not sure how everything is going.
+1 that you might poop (or, let's not forget, pee... which unfortunately may gain significant distance and velocity when you are pushing in earnest). Your doctor and nurses have undoubtedly seen it all before, but still... Yeah, it's embarrassing. Try to get up to potty as much as you can in the early stages.
I remember watching my doctor doing my first episiotomy... He was stitching hard and fast, and I could feel the tug on my body when he'd pull back the needle, but I remember being amazed & grateful that I couldn't actually feel the stitches being made... And I was thinking "geez take your time man, I don't want to look like Frankenstein's monster down there."
Episiotomy stitches CAN pop. They'll tell you they won't, but they might. Mine did after my second. Not the end of the world if they do... But just FYI.
There are several great pins on Pinterest for how to make post-delivery cold packs that look very promising. +1 for buying an extra can of pain relieving spray, that stuff makes the angels sing when you really need it. And save yourself the frustration and laundry, and don't even try to wear nice underwear for several weeks after baby arrives.
Be sure to bring socks and wraps/shawls if you tend to get chilly. Bring your own wet/baby wipes to use on yourself, if you're particular about the kind you use. I also plan on bringing a can of dry shampoo, in case it's a while before I can shower.
When you first take baby home, you should make it a point to sleep when the baby sleeps as much as possible. You'll probably have people wanting to visit, and there will be stuff you feel like you "need" to do, but seriously, rest as much as you can for the first few days. Well-wishes and chores can wait.
@yodiggity it's to make sure your uterus is contracting back down. I had a csection and it's not that painful it was just annoying when you're trying to sleep or get comfortable.
They do it to help it contract back down. It wasn't painful for me, and honestly there was so much going on the first time that I didn't even notice it was happening. But the second and third time I noticed, because of the sounds my body made....
Also, I know this doesn't happen to everyone, but I had to have my rings stretched. I stopped wearing my rings in the third tri due to swelling. So I figured a few days/ week after I delivered I thought they would fit again. Wrong. I waited months and they never fit again. I had to have them stretch a half size.
**** Formerly Snoflakes4eva****
I don't remember them pushing on my uterus post c section?
I have heard rumors that the hospital will let you bring wine with you for after you've delivered. Is this true?!
So much this.