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DH/SO rants & raves - November

DolphinLover2002DolphinLover2002 member
in June 2015 Moms
What new things are making you happy or mad?

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Re: DH/SO rants & raves - November

  • MouseMama817MouseMama817 member
    Rave: DH, LO, and I spent a half hour after dinner snuggling on the couch watching the Daily Bumps on YouTube. Then we both did the bedtime routine. We usually tag team it but tonight DH did bath time with us. Baby girl was so cute and smiley and we got some cute pictures. It was great cozy family time.
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  • klkonwiklkonwi member
    ^^^^ this. We all need a day off sometimes......
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  • mishmardhionomishmardhiono member
    edited November 2015
    *edited for incessant and unfair ranting about dh*
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  • mishmardhionomishmardhiono member
    Yeah I didn't want a push present but I was kind of hoping he'd bring me something.. Even just a little chocolate bar.. Yes we are going to try that. I think I'm surrounded just by assholes and maybe it's becoming contagious
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  • aj1327aj1327 member
    @ChardeeMacDennis that's awesome!
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  • rrcameron21rrcameron21 member
    @virginiaunicorn11 ahhaha! That makes me so happy. There's a guy at my work who is like that. He's my #1 supporter when I have to pump. Sorta creepy but also nice! His wife is breastfeeding so its not that creepy.

    @ksimo6 my fiancé says "but, you're the mom..." All the time. So. Annoying.
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  • MissLeighAndBabyGMissLeighAndBabyG member
    My SO thinks I am lazy and sit around doing nothing all day if he comes home to a even slightly messy house. Even if I worked that day. He also thinks because he uses paper plates he is exempt from the dishes so I told him "if that's the case then I don't have to wash your clothes" since he doesn't know how to do laundry. Thanks so much future MIL. Otherwise he's great about never forgetting to restock my chocolate stash and getting up with the baby when I work.
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  • aj1327aj1327 member
    @mellymar I'm glad for you! DH has been working late this week and it made me realize I definitely take for granted the things he does to help.
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  • jessieR358jessieR358 member
    I didn't realize writing a will would invole so many fights and family name calling. DH is being such a jerk. So clearly the only solution was to tell him he's mean and have my mom take back his expensive Xmas gift. He's not deserving of my family's generosity if he thinks so poorly of them.
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  • jessieR358jessieR358 member
    edited November 2015
    hoodoll82 said:

    @jesshrou it sounds like you are sharing all this drama with your mom? If so, I'd just caution against this if you mean to stay with DH. Personally I have found that my mom will hold grudges even after I've gotten over an issue, so I don't tell her much about fights DH and I have. It just really might set your mom and DH for a poor relationship going forward.

    Edited: I don't know what I want to say.


    I didn't share all the drama with her but some of it. She's really good about not holding grudges bc a lot of the times its me being ridiculous in an argument. They think the world of my DH which makes me so sad when he talks trash about my family.
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  • HayesRN13HayesRN13 member
    jesshrou said:

    I didn't realize writing a will would invole so many fights and family name calling. DH is being such a jerk. So clearly the only solution was to tell him he's mean and have my mom take back his expensive Xmas gift. He's not deserving of my family's generosity if he thinks so poorly of them.

    This all seems a bit childish
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  • queequeg09256queequeg09256 member
    Writing your will is a huge deal. I love my in-laws but 100% don't want them raising my child. That doesn't mean I don't want them in her life or super involved, I would maybe clarify what he is saying that makes him feel so poorly. It could be that he is very scared of having someone else raise his child.. was part of this in the Oct thread and I missed it? I'm not trying to judge just curious if there is more here that I missed.
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  • jessieR358jessieR358 member
    But yes @hoodoll82 that is good advice that I have learned along the way. I've heard to complain to the MIL but I've never taken to that bc my DH can do no wrong in her eyes. So that was a one and done thing. Usually I complain to my best friend and we talk about our husbands and annoying family members.
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  • MouseMama817MouseMama817 member
    edited November 2015
    Rave: I left for work a couple of hours before DH and when I got home, he had cleaned! I'd been mentally preparing myself to come home to my household chores and they were already done. Such a nice surprise. If only I had the energy to reward him  I-)

    Edited cause words are hard
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  • jessieR358jessieR358 member
    edited November 2015
    HayesRN13 said:

    jesshrou said:

    I didn't realize writing a will would invole so many fights and family name calling. DH is being such a jerk. So clearly the only solution was to tell him he's mean and have my mom take back his expensive Xmas gift. He's not deserving of my family's generosity if he thinks so poorly of them.

    This all seems a bit childish
    No I think the fact that my parents continue to give him elaborate gifts despite him talking trash about them is so hurtful. they don't need to go above and beyond to someone who is so clearly unappreciative of how much they do for us. My parents work hard for what they have and spending it on someone who is rude in return is not ok.

    Edited: I was being sarcastic in the "only solution" part though. I hope you mean the gift thing is childish and not the will. The will is a huge deal and we've spent a lot of time with a lawyer.
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  • jessieR358jessieR358 member
    queequeg09256 said:

    Writing your will is a huge deal. I love my in-laws but 100% don't want them raising my child. That doesn't mean I don't want them in her life or super involved, I would maybe clarify what he is saying that makes him feel so poorly. It could be that he is very scared of having someone else raise his child.. was part of this in the Oct thread and I missed it? I'm not trying to judge just curious if there is more here that I missed.

    He doesn't like some choices my brothers have made and is convinced our child will do the same things they have done if my parents are guardians. I turned out fine and he married me so not sure what his point is there.

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  • aj1327aj1327 member
    We have no one that I'd want to leave our kid to. DH is pretty much an only child, raised by his mom and step dad. He has a half sister that we're not close to at all. I was also raised by my mom, but have 2 brothers who are much older than me. One had a mental disability and the other raised his kids so differently than I'd want mine raised. Love him & my sister in law but their parenting style is very different. My in laws are great but they are old. This whole topic stresses me out!
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  • mishmardhionomishmardhiono member
    jesshrou said:

    queequeg09256 said:

    Writing your will is a huge deal. I love my in-laws but 100% don't want them raising my child. That doesn't mean I don't want them in her life or super involved, I would maybe clarify what he is saying that makes him feel so poorly. It could be that he is very scared of having someone else raise his child.. was part of this in the Oct thread and I missed it? I'm not trying to judge just curious if there is more here that I missed.

    He doesn't like some choices my brothers have made and is convinced our child will do the same things they have done if my parents are guardians. I turned out fine and he married me so not sure what his point is there.

    We have started doing ours and have decided that no grandparents are going to get our LO. Our LO needs we grandparents and I don't want her to lose her parents and grandparents at the same time. I want that relationship to always be special. I also wouldn't want our LO having to go through losing her parents and grandparents all at a young age. I put my foot down and said under no means is his family taking her (they live overseas) and she is to remain in Australia. At first he was offended but can now see why they can't take her.

    Try look at his reasons from his side without emotion. This isn't about pleasing people or who gets the honour. It's about looking after our LO's at the most vulnerable time of their lives and we as parents need to know they are going to go into a similar environment with similar beliefs to minimise the trauma of the transition. They also need a family member to escape to on the weekends.
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  • KaLikeAWindKaLikeAWind member
    Good grief, this is stressful for me as well. Unless my DH has thought really far outside of the box and has another idea, we only have option - my sister. Luckily, I think she would do a fine job, tho I'm sure she would have her hands full with her twins and my LO added in. Both sets of grandparents are too old, and DHs brother is not "like us".

    We really need to sit down and work this out.
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