Natural pregnancy not as Real to me

jackiea2m

We tried for well over a year before I was diagnosed with "unexplained infertility" and eggs that wouldn't mature enough to be able to be fertilized. We were Very fortunate in that after one round of Clomid and an IUI, and I was successfully prego. DD is now 14M, beautiful, smart and healthy!

We decided to start to "try" for #2, knowing it will be another uphill battle, but we hadn't really decided how long we would deal with the heartache before going back to the dr (prob 2-3 months).

Well, somehow a miracle happened our first month!!! I'm now 6w4d, and seriously fatigued and Nauseated all day, but it's still just not feeling "As Real" this time. Idk if it's bc I had so many blood tests for HcG levels, progesterone and early u/s. We're planning to tell our parents this weekend and I'm thinking about how I don't know for sure like last time.

Has anyone else experienced this??? Am I crazy to want to take a pee test again and again? I also don't feel a connection yet, like a subliminal knowing that I'm expecting. It's just feeling very foreign to me. TIA.....for any comments!

CourtJack

I don't have experience, but I think feeling that way is normal - given the amount of effort you put in the first time around. I think it's a new experience and over time you will adjust and your feelings will change - especially as the pregnancy becomes more 'visable' (belly, etc). I think wanting to POAS constantly is normal - given the constant indicators you were given last time around vs this time.

Hoping everything goes great for you and the nausea and fatigue subside soon.

*edit pressed post to quickly.

cdnvb4

I can't speak to the challenges you faced in becoming pregnant the first time and how this may impact your response to your current pregnancy. However, I can say that my response to this pregnancy differs from my response to my first pregnancy in just the way you are describing. With DS, I just knew, even before I took the test, that I was pregnant. I instantly bonded and found myself unconsciously and protectively touching my stomach throughout the day, even as early as 4 weeks. I never thought to take more than one test because there was no point: I was pregnant. 

But this time, it feels completely different. I stopped peeing on a stick after #9 but I have to refrain myself from going out to buy more. Most days, even though I have symptoms and look like I'm 5 months pregnant, on a basic level I feel as if I am not pregnant. In fact, I almost expect my OB to tell me I am experiencing a phantom pregnancy when I go in for my first appointment.

So I can't offer any help here other than to say that I am struggling with very similar feelings.

AmberLiz99

My first two were very planed, with did we tried for a year and with dd for 3-4 months. This pregnancy sharpened despite birth control, an 6 months before we intended to start trying. I feel sick and very pregnant, but it still isn't as real as the other two. I'm hoping I get over this feeling soon, because I want to be excited, but it just seems unreal.

Lilwatz

I had a failed IUI and then got pregnant when about to start a new cycle.  But the RE found out that I was pregnant and monitored me for the first 8 weeks, then I handed off to the OB.  This time we got pregnant on our own and it's hard for me to have so much less monitoring.  I had HCGs 2-3x per week, then once per week for weeks.  I had two early ultrasounds.  It was awesome.  This time it's like, see you in a few months!  I peed on lots of home pee tests until the confirmation ultrasound.

CopperLane

I completely understand how you feel. We struggled with infertility for a long time before this pregnancy. When the test said "pregnant", it was so surreal for us. It didn't really hit us until we had our first ultrasound. Even now I sometimes feel that this isn't really happening. Aside from MS and other symptoms, I don't "feel" pregnant, I don't feel like there's really a baby in me. I don't feel a connection either.

I think this is very normal, especially with what you went through to conceive your first! Hopefully that first ultrasound will help.

jackiea2m

Omg, thank you ALL! I'm sitting here, tears rolling down my cheeks that I'm not alone! (Or crazy!) It's definitely harder this time without the confirmation of all those seemingly intrusive blood tests! I felt prego before I knew from the dr last time. This time, I told my hubby that I was sure I felt ovulation and implantation cramps, and I kind of knew I was prego, but like I said, it has not sunk in and it doesn't seem as real. I had such strong connection to my first pregnancy immediately, so it's upsetting I don't feel that yet. I hate doctors and needles, but I Can't Wait until my first prenatal appt!

Thank you ladies again, so much. It also feels good to finally "say" it, but to hear that I'm not the only one that is struggling with these feelings makes it less lonely.

longhurrdontcurr

Same here. So weird... I feel bad because my first time pregnant I felt great, super happy and attached... It ended with a blighted ovum around 10 weeks.
This time seems like things are progressing much better but I'm not feeling the attachment or happiness yet which is so weird. My sex drive has dropped too which is the opposite of last time, and I've actually had some morning sickness... :-&

mrszoess

I had a mc at 4-5 weeks first time. this time I'm almost 10 and I'm so nervous that I have to remind myself to enjoy it! everything is going well except for a slow start and dating moving back and we even saw a heartbeat when it measured 6w3d!

emotions are weird and I want to finally feel calm and connected.

good luck to all of you and try to stay in the moment!

B2FlyGirl

You are not alone! We've dealt with "unexplained infertility" for 2.5 years. Multiple SA's that had different results, first motility issues, then morphology issues. I had almost given up on the idea of getting pregnant naturally (our fertility doc wasn't optimistic either), so I've literally been in shock since I took the first test. It didn't get real until our 6.5w U/S where we saw and heard the heart beat. I've also not experienced a lot of symptoms, so it almost doesn't feel real...but there's a growing baby in there

PressLove

@jackiea2m- We have such similar stories! We conceived DD through IUI after 2 years of "unexplained fertility."  I had purchased new fertility meds and was ready to start taking them.  Then, I got a bfp.  I was a little shocked.It appears that my body was ready for baby #2.  While I feel extremely fortunate, I am nervous.  Today is our heartbeat U/S.  Hopefully, that will help calm me down.

jackiea2m

@PressLove We talked about how we wanted to go get a Rx for the Clomid by month 2. After everything we went through, I NEVER expected to get pregnant on our own. Maybe that's why it's not real to me too - after being told I can't, I'm terrified my body is playing a trick on me with a chemical pregnancy or something. We're gonna tell our parents this weekend, but I'm gonna POAS this afternoon before we head over there. I'm nervous we're telling them too soon without any u/s or blood work confirmation. Good luck at your heartbeat u/s! And Congrats to you!

PressLove

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Positive Vibes}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Have fun telling your parents!  I'm always here for moral support if you need to PM me.  

Lyzza350

cdnvb4 said:

I can't speak to the challenges you faced in becoming pregnant the first time and how this may impact your response to your current pregnancy. However, I can say that my response to this pregnancy differs from my response to my first pregnancy in just the way you are describing. With DS, I just knew, even before I took the test, that I was pregnant. I instantly bonded and found myself unconsciously and protectively touching my stomach throughout the day, even as early as 4 weeks. I never thought to take more than one test because there was no point: I was pregnant. 

But this time, it feels completely different. I stopped peeing on a stick after #9 but I have to refrain myself from going out to buy more. Most days, even though I have symptoms and look like I'm 5 months pregnant, on a basic level I feel as if I am not pregnant. In fact, I almost expect my OB to tell me I am experiencing a phantom pregnancy when I go in for my first appointment.

So I can't offer any help here other than to say that I am struggling with very similar feelings.

This exact. I wonder why we feel this way.