Pregnant after IF

Can't shake the anxiety

I know that it is common to feel anxious after struggling with infertility and then getting a BFP. I tried searching this board as I am sure it has been discussed but I am wondering if you are experiencing anxiety, in what way are you trying to cope with this feeling? Every time I go to the bathroom I am afraid there will be blood (and I am using progesterone vaginal suppositories so it feels a little squishy up there anyway). I've been meditating and doing some yoga (although I am so afraid of doing too much yoga and it might cause a MC). I know these are very normal fears and I am trying positive affirmations as well. Just wanting to voice this feeling in hopes of some support and additional coping mechanisms.

***TW****MC mentioned & BFP mentioned***


me 38 DH 39.  
TTC#1 since July 2014
AMH 0.1, DOR, Poor responder
Moved to Prague, Czech Republic for IVF
2 Natural IVF cycles, 3 full IVF cycles, 4 transfers, 1 BFP - heard heartbeat at 6w5d
Diagnosed MMC at 9w1d on 11/30/15
Headed back home to Colorado 12/12/15

DE attempt in Czech Republic!! 

March trip to Prague canceled due to Pancreatitis. :sob:
Headed to Prague April 30
3 different donors resulted in 1 PGS tested embryo and 1 fresh embryo
2 embryo's transferred (from 2 different donors) on 5/10/16
BFP on 5/15/16 at 5dp5dt
Beta 1 = 81 at 8dp5dt, Beta 2 = 295 at 10dp5dt, Beta 3 = 891 at 12dt5dt. Beta 4 = 2114 at 14dp5dt, Beta 5 = 4916 at 16dp5dt, Beta 6 = 13252 at 19dp5dt
Heartbeat at 6w5d 133BPM <3
We are having a GIRL!!! Due Jan 26, 2017


BabyFruit Ticker

My blog: www.wearethehammitts.blogspot.com

Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker

Re: Can't shake the anxiety

  • Take some deep breaths and congrats on your BFP. Make sure you stay on your meds. Talk to your little bean. That is what I did over and over and I feel like the positive vibes and words helped to calm me.
    On a side note Make sure with the progesterone suppositories you clean out the meds every so often. (I know kinda gross). I didn't know to do that and we had a scare when it all came out on its own. We ended up switching to the shots because of the irritation factor.
    Infertility is such a hard road and right now it's more challenging then ever. You can do it and your little bean is in for the ride with you! Good Luck and congrats again!
    susykat77MrsWitt39
  • I am right there with you. I am 10 weeks 1 day today and I still constantly feel anxious. I too constantly check for blood when I go to the bathroom. I just keep telling myself that after the first trimester it will get easier. I am hoping I am right!! The sore boobs and constant fatigue are what helps me know baby is still okay. :)

    Me: 28

    DH: 27, SA - Great

    Married: June 12,2011

    TTC #1: 1/2014

    Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea

    Treatment: Clomid:  50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored

                      Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI  IUI #1 8/31/2015

    9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!

    Heartbeat 10/2/2015: 118bpm

    susykat77MrsWitt39
  •     
  • I'm starting to be better, but I still feel like I might see blood anytime it feels more wet/squishy down there (and that's so common with the suppositories). I'm off them now and keep checking when I go to the bathroom. Unfortunately, I think it comes with the territory. But ultimately, unless you stopped your progesterone and started punching yourself in the stomach, baby is going to stick if baby is going to. There's nothing more we can do once the BFP is there. Each and every test (bloodwork and US) I've had since the BFP have helped reassure me, but ultimately it will run its course, hopefully for the better. Take care of yourself, continue to exercise as you did before (I've continued to lift/squat with over 100 lbs), and when you're having anxious thoughts, just let them go...they're just a thought and having them doesn't mean anything other than your brain is working (you can look up different mindfulness resources).
    susykat77
  • @KidShrink I've kept working out too. Not lifting that much though.. WOW!

    Me: 28

    DH: 27, SA - Great

    Married: June 12,2011

    TTC #1: 1/2014

    Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea

    Treatment: Clomid:  50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored

                      Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI  IUI #1 8/31/2015

    9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!

    Heartbeat 10/2/2015: 118bpm

  •     
  • I'm 29 weeks and I STILL check every time I wipe. Not trying to be pessimistic, but we definitely retain some level of anxiety being PAIF ladies. We were very open with friends and family about our struggle and now having their enthusiasm to share in is contagious for us and has really helped. I still kind of let them be the overly excited ones while I just "keep calm" but the anxious feelings definitely have subsided for the large part and I am enjoying this pregnancy.

    8 Years
    2 Miscarriages
    2 Ectopic Pregnancies
    1 Round of Clomid
    1 Fresh IVF Cycle
    1 Bean and 5 Frosties!
    marniefkendragrace1215
  • Thank you ladies. For me sometimes just writing about it helps to get it out of my mind and it sure helps hearing all of your comments and suggestions.  

    @kendragrace1215 Yes, talking to my little bean is a great idea. I was cleaning out the meds every few days but I haven't since I got my BFP but it is a good idea to resume it (as gross as it is!) 

    @adorkablepixie yes the symptoms are somewhat of a reassurance!!  

    @Kidshrink Good to know you are still working out. I think I'll resume swimming as well. Letting the thoughts pass and realizing that they are just that it so hard to do but such a great reminder to do just that. Thank you!!

    ***TW****MC mentioned & BFP mentioned***


    me 38 DH 39.  
    TTC#1 since July 2014
    AMH 0.1, DOR, Poor responder
    Moved to Prague, Czech Republic for IVF
    2 Natural IVF cycles, 3 full IVF cycles, 4 transfers, 1 BFP - heard heartbeat at 6w5d
    Diagnosed MMC at 9w1d on 11/30/15
    Headed back home to Colorado 12/12/15

    DE attempt in Czech Republic!! 

    March trip to Prague canceled due to Pancreatitis. :sob:
    Headed to Prague April 30
    3 different donors resulted in 1 PGS tested embryo and 1 fresh embryo
    2 embryo's transferred (from 2 different donors) on 5/10/16
    BFP on 5/15/16 at 5dp5dt
    Beta 1 = 81 at 8dp5dt, Beta 2 = 295 at 10dp5dt, Beta 3 = 891 at 12dt5dt. Beta 4 = 2114 at 14dp5dt, Beta 5 = 4916 at 16dp5dt, Beta 6 = 13252 at 19dp5dt
    Heartbeat at 6w5d 133BPM <3
    We are having a GIRL!!! Due Jan 26, 2017


    BabyFruit Ticker

    My blog: www.wearethehammitts.blogspot.com

    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
    kendragrace1215
  •     
  • I'm the same way! The worst was going from seeing them on an ultrasound every week with my RE and now only every few weeks with my OB. It gets better though, you have to just let yourself believe you're pregnant. We go so long thinking of what can go wrong we forget to focus on what is going right. When I'm really anxious about it I remind myself that I'm pregnant today. If that changes tomorrow I'll deal with it them, but I'm going to enjoy where I'm at right now.
    susykat77kendragrace1215
  • My profile pic was my mantra: "Today I am pregnant and that is amazing." That helped me through most of first trimester with both this and my first pregnancy. Both times, I didn't feel like I could really exhale until we got the genetic testing results. And even at 29 weeks, I still check for blood every time I go to the bathroom, even though I've been fortunate enough not to have any spotting (yet) this pregnancy. Once you start feeling movement, that's very reassuring. Hang in there and remember we are here for you!
    Me: 37 | DH: 38 | Married 9/2012, low AMH, high FSH
    First-ever BFP after IUI #4 (Follistim) - Baby Girl born (36w2d) 8/8/2014!
    TTC #2 since Feb 2015
    BFP 5/4/15
    susykat77emcarl24
  •     
  • Girl! These ladies have talked me off the ledge over and over! I kept thinking over that second good beta I will relax, after hearing the HB, after first tri...I will tell you it's a long road till you can feel the daily kicks of reassurance!

    I still check the TP too at 23 weeks ☺️
    TTC#1: 14 months on our own (did HSG, b/w, SA);
    BFP on Cycle 14--TWINS! Identical twin boys stillborn at 19wks(1/9/10)
    3 break cycles; took clomid 50mg, BFP #2 Beta #1 35, Beta #2 338!!! Owen was born 2/11/11! 
    TTC#2: 4 cycles on clomid: BFNs
    BFP #3: Cycle #5 100mg clomid; beta #1 21; beta #2 6=CP 
    Cycle #6 break cycle TTC no meds=BFN
    Cycle #7: 150 clomid+ovidril+IUI=BFN (switched to RE)
    Cycle #8: follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
    Cycle #9 Forced break due to cyst
    Cycle #10 follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
    Cycle #11 follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
    Cycle#12 Forced break due to cyst, went on BCP; did repeat HSG, Saline U/S
    Cycle #13 IVF: Follistim/Menapur ER 11-30 11 eggs, 5 mature, 4 fertilized and 3dt on 12-3; BFN
    Cycle #14: IVF#2 lupron/follistim/menopur ER 1-22, 19 eggs, 14 fertilized, 5dt on 1-27, BFP!! beta 1: 63, beta 2: 119; EDD 10-15-13; 1 frozen embie
    Miracle Surprise BFP, EDD 10-1-15; saw HB great Betas, 11weeks lost baby MC at home
    Moved forward with FET transfered solo frostie on 6-4-15, beta 1: 315, beta 2: 738, u/s showed one baby on track EDD 2-21-16
    susykat77
  • Yeah, I get that, it's definitely difficult. I'm still scared, even convinced myself it was over this week when my symptoms lightened so I definitely hear you. Thankfully our little beans grow despite our fears... I just try to remind myself to have faith in the LO trying its best to reach the world and my arms.
    susykat77AdorkablePixie
  •     
  • Oh, this board was exactly what I needed to see! I hate that you ladies all feel this anxiety too, but it's good to know I'm not alone. I had a very scant amount of spotting 2 days ago, and I was sure it was over. Then we had our first u/s yesterday and found TWINS! And my doc said that I'm much more likely to spot with twins. However, @marnief, I LOVE your mantra, and might adopt it as my own.
    susykat77marniefbeckihall
  • I can relate to all these posts....was looking through to find something like this....I suffer from depression/anxiety and am off my meds due to pregnancy. Its the winter time which I struggle the most with. I thought being pregnant would make my world, but its brought pn a bit of nervousness. I've been waiting for this for almost 2 years after multiple IUIs and IVF.....Now that I am, I have a rush of all this responsibility and all this planning I need ro do for the baby. I am 6w, had my first U/S yesterday, and PA found twins, but she made me uneasy because she was like well the one is smaller than the other so we will see if it keeps going. And then she thought she saw another yolk sac in one....meaning 3! But then said oh I dont think so. She made me even more nervous and uneasy then when I went in. She kind of took the excitement away bc now Im scared I could have 3, or I could lose my twin. I hate peoples bed side manor. I cannot wait to graduate from my RE to my OBGYN. I just need more answers and have to wait more. I am very impatient. Anyone else feel a bit scared?
    susykat77
  •     
  • I'm so glad I saw all of your posts today. I'm 6w2d after FET. Ever since I got my BFP I've been a little on edge. I have days where I don't worry and other days I'm totally anxiety ridden. I spotted 1 wk after the FET and haven't again until today. Just a bit of spotting on TP today was enough to have my head spinning. First ultrasound will be on Wed.
    I can hardly wait. I think I will feel a little better once I gave the ultrasound and know everything is ok (hoping for the best). I haven't spoken to anyone at my RE's office in 2 wks and it's difficult after having been monitored so closely several times a wk while going through IVF...
    I hope that all that tension and anxiety will ease up as I progress with this pregnancy.
    susykat77
  • Just wait until you're 30 weeks like I am and the dr says I'll see you in 4 weeks. She doesn't need to see me every 2 weeks yet! The anxiety doesn't go away, I don't think it ever will even after he's born. I'll have to learn how to deal with it. I still can't believe this is real and we got exactly what we wanted.
    susykat77
  •     
  • I feel the same way as all of you ladies. I'm 6w3d today after IVF. We go back to the doctors for our first ultrasound in 6 days. When we received the BPF news after my first beta we were so excited but then had to bring down our emotions until the second beta, then the third. Now I'm counting the minutes it seems until the ultrasound. Some days I'm ecstatic and others my anxiety is through the roof! I'm worried about my work place environment, bleaching unwanted facial hair, my diet, miscarrying, ectopic, my spotty symptoms --- basically everything. My HCG levels were all really good and rose appropriately so I know that at least is a good sign. It's so nice to have a community of ladies that understands. Thanks for listening to my rant :neutral:
    susykat77
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