I hate breastfeeding

roboytoh

My baby was born on the 12th. I have been breastfeeding but I hate it. I find myself bawling most of the time. I want my body back and hate how I have no idea when she is satisfied.

I know Ts the best thing for her but I am so upset all the time.

leah665

It's totally normal to feel this way. My milk came in a couple days ago and I have been weepy ever since. Just know that it's normal to feel that way and it'll get easier. If she is having wet diapers and pooping and gaining weight she is getting enough. Stay strong mama. See if you can find a support group in your area like La Leche League.

Kari Merks

I feel you. I just had my fourth, but my first was a roller coaster of emotions when it came to BFing. She struggled to latch, had peanut butter tongue and I just had no idea what to do. I set small goals in those first weeks. Just making it to the next feeding was my first goal and when I kept meeting them I felt more confident. I eventually made it to one year and then found that it got easier with each kid. That said, this fourth of mine has a snap turtle of a latch and caused my nipples to crack pretty bad so I'm working through that pain.

I wouldn't worry so much about the amount baby is getting as long as she has enough wet diapers and you can feel the difference in your breast before and after a feeding. Ultimately you should do whatever makes you less stressed and happier. If you continue to hate BFing it might be best to try something else.

lindsay897

My LO will be 3 weeks tomorrow and I still hate breastfeeding. I dread each feeding. It's still painful and my nipples are very sore. He has a shallow latch that I can't seem to fix. I'm taking it one feeding at a time trying not to give up.

kayway85

With my first, I found breastfeeding painful for the first ten weeks. TEN weeks! I considered giving up many times. It just didn't seem to be working for me. My nipples were chapped and bleeding. I was convinced I was doing something wrong. I wasn't. It's just hard at first. It's an adjustment your body has to make. But then, it was like someone switched on a light. It became easy, pain free. I found that it was so convenient (versus making bottles) and I'm really glad I stuck it out. I have every confidence that my son benefitted from it. He was barely sick as an infant and has only occasionally been sick as a toddler. It's also an amazing bond we shared for two and a half years. I'm really proud of myself for sticking it out for as long as I did when it was hard. I'm glad I didn't give up. I know everyone's journey is different and I know breastfeeding isn't for everyone. I respect that, but once your supply dries up - there's no going back. So if you're done, make sure you're 100% ok with that. Good luck.

amberrmariee20

If she isn't screaming and is having wet diapers your in the clear !

Telebell

You can quit breastfeeding if you don't like it! You and the baby will be perfectly fine. Or you can do what my friend is doing, which is to set little goals for yourself- just hold on for another day/week, etc. If you still hate it then you can reevaluate.

kaylerjean

I talked to a lactation consultant at baby's first check up appointment and she told me the at the beginning of the feeding baby's arms will be tight and against their face, and when they are finished they will be relaxed and at their sides. After hearing that I can totally see the difference and tell when LO is finished. By the end of the feeding her arms just flop around.

kellbell156

Please know that what is best for your baby is what is going to make you happy too. It does not make you a bad mother to feel this way. I breastfed my 1st for 2 weeks, my 2nd for 3 months and this one will be as long as possible as well. Hang in there!

Don't let this deter your joy of motherhood. Do what is going to work best for your family.

jenspeake

Have you considered just pumping? For me it was more about lo getting the breast milk and it not necessarily from the breast.

zmonique72

Try the nipple shield. Also pumping for some feedings will give you more free time and you will have a better idea of how many ounces you are giving your baby

Leabyrd

I'm using a nipple shield as well, she won't even take my natural nipple anymore but I don't care whatever gets her on and fed. I wanted to start pumping right away since I am the most hormonal and angry when I am sitting up in bed feeding my baby at 3 am for the 4th time and my husband is sleeping soundly next to me like a large grizzly bear. I know it's not his fault he can't do much but I wanted to pump just so I could say "you feed her too!" But NOW 6 days pp, I'm like ugh if I were to pump I need to pump store the milk, then warm the milk then put
It in the separate nippy bottles, when I could just stick her on my boob and be done in 20 mins haha... So confusing, so frustrating! Do what works for you!!! It's YOUR child not anyone else's and in 6 months they'll be able to eat real food!

Cmoniga

I'm feeling the same way but still just 3 days PP. I'm miserable. I had an emergency C-section and so far everything just seems so much more difficult than I ever imagined it would be. Every feeding I cringe and ask myself why I'm still doing it. I've had severe pain and bleeding already. Luckily my supply is coming in more.

I feel like my baby is using me. She wants the food but she also uses me to sleep. She literally falls asleep while BF and I try to keep her up and encourage her to keep feeding but she passes out. Then when I go to move her to burp her or even put her down, she's hysterical and rooting and wants to keep feeding. i just don't understand it.

KrisG32

Remember that you DON'T have to breastfeed. You shouldn't feel bad if you decide it isn't for you. It is perfectly okay to formula feed. The MOST important thing is a happy momma and a happy fed baby.

JaqiDec04

Leabyrd said:

I'm using a nipple shield as well, she won't even take my natural nipple anymore but I don't care whatever gets her on and fed. I wanted to start pumping right away since I am the most hormonal and angry when I am sitting up in bed feeding my baby at 3 am for the 4th time and my husband is sleeping soundly next to me like a large grizzly bear. I know it's not his fault he can't do much but I wanted to pump just so I could say "you feed her too!" But NOW 6 days pp, I'm like ugh if I were to pump I need to pump store the milk, then warm the milk then put It in the separate nippy bottles, when I could just stick her on my boob and be done in 20 mins haha... So confusing, so frustrating! Do what works for you!!! It's YOUR child not anyone else's and in 6 months they'll be able to eat real food!

Wake sleeping hubby, he gets to burp, change and get baby back to sleep when your done sleeping. Its a fair trade.

babykitcat

Breastfeeding gets better for those of you who just started. The baby will cluster feed till the milk fully comes in but yes it's frustrating. However even when the milk comes in its quite a demanding job. I find all I do is feed baby, burp baby, let baby sleep and repeat. DH has a 5 year old daughter that is starting to get a bit jealous too...it's all a lot really. Not to mention our cat Im constantly worried about sitting on the baby.... I hear the first 3 weeks are hell. So far the first 2 have been pretty close!!

cbolton19

lindsay897 said:

My LO will be 3 weeks tomorrow and I still hate breastfeeding. I dread each feeding. It's still painful and my nipples are very sore. He has a shallow latch that I can't seem to fix. I'm taking it one feeding at a time trying not to give up.

My baby has a shallow latch too. We had to supplement because she dropped too much weight. I got a nipple guard today, and it has worked wonders! She is feeding on her own, and more than enough. I'm still offering her a feeding without it, but until she gets a bit bigger and latches better, we are using the guard. It's worth a shot!!

lindsay897

@cbolton19 I tried nipple shields a couple of weeks ago by he kept knocking them off and I wasn't sure he was able to get enough milk through them. I think I'll give them another try, it's pretty much torture when he feeds on my left side.

cbolton19

lindsay897 said:

@cbolton19 I tried nipple shields a couple of weeks ago by he kept knocking them off and I wasn't sure he was able to get enough milk through them. I think I'll give them another try, it's pretty much torture when he feeds on my left side.

she's knocked it off a few times. It takes a little patience. I watch her neck to make sure she is swallowing and not just pretending. Its been really helpful. I tried without it and it doesn't work yet, but it looks like it is helping her to open her mouth wider and get her lips out of the way. Before, she liked to suck on her tongue and lips making it really hard to get her to latch. If you try again, I hope it helps!!

danixbanani24

After having a pretty rough delivery and emergency dnc afterward for a retained placenta...breastfeeding has been extra hard and stressful. I've decided to exclusively pump my milk for bottle feeding and supplementing with formula. I've felt up and down about this but at the end of the day I want my baby fed and happy.

zetlopez

I've been using a nipple shield and it's still torture. I still feel pain and his latch is still shallow. I thought a nipple shield would solve all the problems but it doesn't completely fix the latch. Sometimes I can get a good latch, but there is no consistency. Sometimes I just let him keep a bad latch bc I get tired of fighting with him, but I know he doesn't get milk as efficiently with a bad latch and we both end up frustrated. I've seen a lactation consultant and she helped me get him to latch correctly, but I can't replicate it by myself. This whole breastfeeding thing is so frustrating but I'm trying hard to hang in there.

Cmoniga

As pathetic as this is I think I'm giving up breast feeding. Despite around the clock advice with my four day hospital stay I feel like I made too many wrong decisions when it came to breastfeeding and messed things up.

We just got discharged today and I even have an appointment with lactation for Wednesday but I don't think I'm going to make it. I'm just too worried about whether or not my LO is getting enough. She went from having a great latch from the get go to slowly getting worse and worse. With advice from lactation consultants i started pumping and feeding her EBM in addition to the breast. Despite this only happening for a day, I feel the damage is done. She has no interest in working for the milk in the breast and just cries hysterically while tearing my nipple apart. She just wants the quick fix from the pumped stuff.

She lost over 7% weight and I'm worried it could worsen.

I decided to make things easier I think for now I will exclusively pump and bottle feed. Does this mean I should also be supplementing with formula or can she get enough this way? And how much is enough?! I pump for 15 min and just give her whatever I produce. Last feeding was only 25ML. She's just 4 days old.

Any one have any advice regarding whether or not this is something that can work and how much I should be giving her? Should I pump longer?

akfbookworm

@Cmoniga first try my baby had a great latch, then ended up having surgery and having to pump and dump for 3 days. By the time I could try breastfeeding again LO would not latch, both of us ended up in tears. He was so used to the instant gratification, he would get on me suck 3 times then quit.

I kept pumping and supplementing with formula. He'd eat 45-60mls total. And I pumped 15-20 minutes. We also bought low flow nipples. My milk came in day 5 and that made a difference how much I got pumping. He was a week old yesterday and I finally got him to stay latched on last night and he breastfed today too!

I would make sure you're pumping every 2-3 hrs, and stay hydrated. There are also foods like oatmeal that will help increase your milk production. And I would talk to your Dr. if your worried about how much to supplement.

ElleMF728

Cmoniga said:

As pathetic as this is I think I'm giving up breast feeding. Despite around the clock advice with my four day hospital stay I feel like I made too many wrong decisions when it came to breastfeeding and messed things up. We just got discharged today and I even have an appointment with lactation for Wednesday but I don't think I'm going to make it. I'm just too worried about whether or not my LO is getting enough. She went from having a great latch from the get go to slowly getting worse and worse. With advice from lactation consultants i started pumping and feeding her EBM in addition to the breast. Despite this only happening for a day, I feel the damage is done. She has no interest in working for the milk in the breast and just cries hysterically while tearing my nipple apart. She just wants the quick fix from the pumped stuff. She lost over 7% weight and I'm worried it could worsen. I decided to make things easier I think for now I will exclusively pump and bottle feed. Does this mean I should also be supplementing with formula or can she get enough this way? And how much is enough?! I pump for 15 min and just give her whatever I produce. Last feeding was only 25ML. She's just 4 days old. Any one have any advice regarding whether or not this is something that can work and how much I should be giving her? Should I pump longer?

You'll know if she is getting enough if she is having enough dirty and wet diapers.  It all depends on whether or not you make enough milk for her and each baby is different.  Mine eats a ton and I can't keep up with him so I need to supplement but I would probably have enough if he ate an average amount per feeding.  

She will most likely let you know if she is still hungry, and at 4 days old your milk might still be coming in.  Mine hasn't come in either time until at least 5 days PP.  This might also explain why she seems angry at the breast and tugs on your nipple. You may see a change as you start producing more milk. 

Are you using a double pump? Typically its 15 minutes though I'll occasionally pump a bit more if I feel another let down coming on.  Can you still meet with an LC?  Mine gave me a lot of info on BF and pumping since I've always planned to do both.  

stephiesheldork

I went from breast to pump after 2 days. If pumping doesn't seem to be working I'll just go to formula. My baby just doesn't want boobies. He really likes bottles. And the fact that I have inverted nipples and breast implants makes breast feeding an absolute nightmare for both of us.

danixbanani24

Cmoniga said:

As pathetic as this is I think I'm giving up breast feeding. Despite around the clock advice with my four day hospital stay I feel like I made too many wrong decisions when it came to breastfeeding and messed things up.

We just got discharged today and I even have an appointment with lactation for Wednesday but I don't think I'm going to make it. I'm just too worried about whether or not my LO is getting enough. She went from having a great latch from the get go to slowly getting worse and worse. With advice from lactation consultants i started pumping and feeding her EBM in addition to the breast. Despite this only happening for a day, I feel the damage is done. She has no interest in working for the milk in the breast and just cries hysterically while tearing my nipple apart. She just wants the quick fix from the pumped stuff.

She lost over 7% weight and I'm worried it could worsen.

I decided to make things easier I think for now I will exclusively pump and bottle feed. Does this mean I should also be supplementing with formula or can she get enough this way? And how much is enough?! I pump for 15 min and just give her whatever I produce. Last feeding was only 25ML. She's just 4 days old.

Any one have any advice regarding whether or not this is something that can work and how much I should be giving her? Should I pump longer?

I'm still in the hospital but I am pumping only around 5 ml of colostrum at every session so I give him the colostrum and then formula. He is eating like a champ and I will continue to pump at home to get my milk to come in. I'm debating switching to formula completely because it is so easy but I will try to still give him breast milk. I found this great website called exclusivepumping.com she has a lot of great tips...check it out! You're gonna do great mama.

christina4436

Cmoniga said:

As pathetic as this is I think I'm giving up breast feeding. Despite around the clock advice with my four day hospital stay I feel like I made too many wrong decisions when it came to breastfeeding and messed things up.

We just got discharged today and I even have an appointment with lactation for Wednesday but I don't think I'm going to make it. I'm just too worried about whether or not my LO is getting enough. She went from having a great latch from the get go to slowly getting worse and worse. With advice from lactation consultants i started pumping and feeding her EBM in addition to the breast. Despite this only happening for a day, I feel the damage is done. She has no interest in working for the milk in the breast and just cries hysterically while tearing my nipple apart. She just wants the quick fix from the pumped stuff.

She lost over 7% weight and I'm worried it could worsen.

I decided to make things easier I think for now I will exclusively pump and bottle feed. Does this mean I should also be supplementing with formula or can she get enough this way? And how much is enough?! I pump for 15 min and just give her whatever I produce. Last feeding was only 25ML. She's just 4 days old.

Any one have any advice regarding whether or not this is something that can work and how much I should be giving her? Should I pump longer?

You should pump every 3 hours religiously to get your supply up and maintain. You should pump until empty so may be 20-30 mins. I did this first two weeks and then I was overproducing so cut back on sessions and time. Nurses or lactation consultant should be able to tell you amount to feed based on weight. 25ML is prob ok for first week but def going to need more after that. My baby was in NICU and the second week (at 4.5lbs) her feeding goal each time was 34-40ML. The third week before we left it was 44ML and she left at 5lbs. Now at 5 weeks when I do a bottle she eats between 60-90ML. typical for first couple months is 3 ounces (90ML). So if you are not pumping enough you will want to supplement.

Mjwal

Just wanted to thank everyone for this post and all the comments- I too am struggling - did with my first and again with this one although a bit better still struggling so as horrible as it sounds it's nice to hear what others have to say and are dealing with, so thank you.

whitemn04

I tried the nipple shield and he feeds really well with it. But now he won't latch to me. He will then is lazy and gives up. My lac consultant said to try without the shield for a while every time and try to get him to latch. I cry a lot during the whole process so am going to call and make an appointment with my lac lady maybe next week.

zetlopez

whitemn04 said:

I tried the nipple shield and he feeds really well with it. But now he won't latch to me. He will then is lazy and gives up. My lac consultant said to try without the shield for a while every time and try to get him to latch. I cry a lot during the whole process so am going to call and make an appointment with my lac lady maybe next week.

You don't have to wean off the shield. My consultant said she's worked with women who used it the entire time they breastfed. I was getting frustrated latching without too and was crying at each feeding. I decided who cares and just went back to the shield. We still struggle a bit but my tears are gone.

Mjwal

Are any of you worried though that with the shield your lo is not getting enough?

whitemn04

Mjwal said:

Are any of you worried though that with the shield your lo is not getting enough?

No. Sometimes mine gets too much at once and coughs a little.

cbolton19

whitemn04 said:

Mjwal said:

Are any of you worried though that with the shield your lo is not getting enough?

No. Sometimes mine gets too much at once and coughs a little.

Mine too. And she is peeing and pooping a lot. That will be your best indication of they are getting enough.

mell94

I also have had issues with breast feeding - Ive had to use shields since the second day. I was really worried she wasn't getting enough but at my 7 day check up i found out she had gained 200g since birth instead of losing weight like they told me she would. My lactation consultant was not worried at all because she is gaining weight and just informed me to keep trying every day to get her to latch without.

crnota

I posted my experience on a similar thread already, but for those using nipple shields- don't be scared off by lactation consultants. If your baby has enough diapers and the pedi says they are growing fine, do what you have to do!

I used a nipple shield for 8 months with my son. He was EBF that whole time, not a single supplement (started solids too at 6 months) and has been in the 99% his whole life. Obviously he got enough milk!

LCs sometimes have dated advice about shields. Mine tried to scare me into thinking if he didn't stop using it by a month, he wouldn't get enough. That could be because older shields were not as good for milk transfer. The current silicone ones are very thin and good.

I was so frustrated about having to use one that I would cry every day, etc- scared about what the LC said. I finally realized if using one lets me breastfeed, how is that a bad thing? I'd rather nurse with a shield than quit breastfeefing completely, and that's where I was headed. I wish LCs realized that.

My son started rejecting the shield at 8 months and we nursed till a year without it.

christina4436

crnota said:

I posted my experience on a similar thread already, but for those using nipple shields- don't be scared off by lactation consultants. If your baby has enough diapers and the pedi says they are growing fine, do what you have to do!

I used a nipple shield for 8 months with my son. He was EBF that whole time, not a single supplement (started solids too at 6 months) and has been in the 99% his whole life. Obviously he got enough milk!

LCs sometimes have dated advice about shields. Mine tried to scare me into thinking if he didn't stop using it by a month, he wouldn't get enough. That could be because older shields were not as good for milk transfer. The current silicone ones are very thin and good.

I was so frustrated about having to use one that I would cry every day, etc- scared about what the LC said. I finally realized if using one lets me breastfeed, how is that a bad thing? I'd rather nurse with a shield than quit breastfeefing completely, and that's where I was headed. I wish LCs realized that.

My son started rejecting the shield at 8 months and we nursed till a year without it.

Great to hear - have been using it for 6 weeks and try once a day to do without. She will be fine for a minute or two then gets fussy Bc my nipple is so much smaller to latch on to then the shield nipple. Is that normal? I have a larger size Bc when I was pumping a lot needed it, and also helped her get more milk. So worried to switch back to smaller size now.
She was also 6 weeks early so LC told me around her term date which is Friday she may latch without. So I guess I'll keep trying once a day. She cries right away when hungry so I don't want to frustrate her too much.

roboytoh

Pumping is what's been working for me.  I love it.  6min of pumping on each boob I can sometimes get 100mL which my 10lb, 2 week old baby needs.  I am so much happier giving her a bottle, this is what's working for me and my family.

plumpous

I hate it too. I cried so much because of it. Both the frustration and the pain and the dependence on me solely. I want to quit but everyone especially DH is pressuring me to keep going.

Leabyrd

I have a question for the earlier mommas or the second time mommas who BF, when does the 2 hour feedings stop??? I feel like a slave to my house and my couch and the baby because she needs to eat every 2 hours and eats for about 20-35 minutes. I can barely get a shower in between! She does need to gain weight but will the frequency of the feedings slow down once she gets back up to her birth weight? Or am I just at her mercy whenever she decides she wants to eat and/or the 2 hour mark?

valerierose15

We're 5 weeks into breastfeeding. We weaned off the nipple shield a week ago. It was difficult, hurt like hell and it took a lot of tears. I had a lactation consultant come to my house and help me with his latch. I had my doula give me more pointers on latching easier. It helped so much, it doesn't hurt anymore and as exhausting as it is, I enjoy knowing I'm helping this boy grow.

The 2 hour feedings/cluster feedings won't last forever. Your babies will grow and they will go longer in between feedings. Also my LC said to pump in the mornings if I wanted to take a bottle with me somewhere or leave the baby at home. Great advice. Stick with it and it'll be totally worth it.

And if breastfeeding is just too much for you, or it's not working out, give your baby formula. Either way, don't feel guilty for your choices: a happy mommy = a happy baby

satori15

The every 2 hour schedule goes on for a while but you don't have to be stuck. I nurse my girl, then I put her in her bouncer and shower (if she'll let me). Or, I take her with me and nurse her when it's time if I need to go somewhere. You can sit in the car if you're shy about breastfeeding in public. I took her to the grocery store today and got home before she needed to nurse again. I've also left her home with family for a short trip to the store or whatever. You can do more than you think!