November 2015 Moms

STMs + : Stay Classy Labor stories

We're all getting closer and things are getting to go time- let's have some fun shall we?

So my DH and I were talking and we've come to the determination that most likely I will be fairly inward and reserved while attempting a non-medicated pain management birth. It's usually how I do my pain management. That being said...I do have a tendency in my own personal life to have a mouth like a trucker. I'm curious if anyone has fun stories of things they might have said or done in the moment that looking back require a face palm.

Personally I think I'm going to cuss someone out or be angry at something stupid like the beeping of a monitor.

Re: STMs + : Stay Classy Labor stories

  • I feel like I'm going to kill the father during labor. I have a very foul mouth as well, I am thinking of apologizing in advance and then send a sorry for what ever I said gift basket to the nurses at the hospital lol
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  • I had an epidural when I was in labor with DS, but it stopped working at one point. It was a holiday so there was only one anesthesiologist in the whole hospital and his beeper was not working, it took him over an hour to get there. When he walked in my room fininally he and the nurse were discussing why the beeper was not working while I was still in pain. I remember asking for him to fix it, but my DH told me I yelled at him like something from a horror movie, oops.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Pregnancy Ticker
  • vomitrosa said:
    strimble26  I am literally crying I am laughing so hard, I am so sorry...I would be horrified!
    I hope my cautionary tale helps you all avoid this incredibly awkward situation.  H and I still laugh about it till this day.  It truly was impressive.  
  • I'm not too too vocal, at least I wasn't the last 2 times. I did a lot of under my breath cursing. Like just whispering "shit shit shit shit" over and over again when the contractions got really bad. It'll be interesting to see what I do this time around.
  • My epidural quit with DD1. I keep saying oh my god! oh shit!. What I mean by saying is actually telling. DD2 epidural work perfect and didn't say anything and was calm.

  • vomitrosa said:

    strimble26  I am literally crying I am laughing so hard, I am so sorry...I would be horrified!

    I hope my cautionary tale helps you all avoid this incredibly awkward situation.  H and I still laugh about it till this day.  It truly was impressive.  

    You win! I definitely cracked up.
  • I found out that when I am in that much pain I literally cannot talk. My hubby was being so sweet asking what he could do to help, whether what he was doing was helping, etc. and I literally couldn't get any words out.  Apparently I am a moaner and a crier. Who knew?! 

    Eventually I got the epidural and I kept saying "ouch" while I was crowning. My midwife was like "yup, that's what we want to hear- ouch- that's how we know the epidural is working, because trust me, if it wasn't, it would be a whole lot different than "ouch""-   I thought that was a pretty good point... haha. 
  • Best thread ever! Lol. I got an epidural with both my kids. Let me tell you best invention in mankind ever! I was dilated 8cm with my 1st and I felt like the nurses we're kind of pressuring me to get it but I kept refusing. Then once I was at 8 the nurse told me if you say no again it'll be too late and the pain is only going to get alot worst from here. I caved! Anyway, idk if it was my relief from the pain or my endorphins took over or what but in about 2 minutes I felt more than happy. I know the epidural doesn't effect your brain but something happened to mine. Lol. I kept asking people if they wanted to dance (cant move my lower half of my body) After the baby came out and they took for freaking ever to do my sutures and all that I asked my then husband to close my legs. He looked confused. I told him it can't be that hard just close them and put them straight. He moved them around a bit. I got angrier, I said just freaking close them. Then I looked down and both my legs were straight as a board feet touching one another. The weirdest feeling ever. Even staring at them I couldn't believe they were closed. Lol.
  • I was pretty quiet until around 9cm. I asked about getting fetenol Several times and my midwife said "you can have it whenever you want" I screamed at her "than why won't you give it to me!!?!!!l" (I was later told she knew it wouldn't help me at that point so they gave me a really small amount to try to visually trick me or something) My husband tried to remind me to breath and I grabbed a wet towel and tried to swat him with it. After that there was no talking, just puking and screaming. I am so grateful to have made it through a successful vaginal delivery, praying for another!
  • This is my new favorite thread! 15 bean soup is hilarious.
  • kbonel said:

    This is my new favorite thread! 15 bean soup is hilarious.

    Haha I really laughed out loud at my OB appt when I read that one.
  • No pain medication plus pitocin= me staring at wall. That scared my husband more than when I started pushing and yelling "fuck". To be fair, it is a part of my everyday vocabulary but generally I try to keep it a little classier when in mixed company. I also apologized to my dr every time I said it. He finally told me to stop apologizing because it was working and getting me progress.
    Baby Boy born on 1/14/13
  • Ftm with nothing to share, but you ladies made my NST far more entertaining than usual.
  • mamavbs said:

    I drunk dialled my best friend when I got on the gas and air. We had a half an hour chat about how the doctors didn't look like Grey's anatomy. My friend (who's had 3 kids so was totally taking advantage of it being my turn) was telling me to demand Derek shepherd or to cross my legs. I kept saying to my midwife "is he here yet? Where's Derek?"

    Apparently I was also asking my husband in a "hushed whisper" (aka bloody loud) to put a canister of the gas, in our hospital bag for some weekend fun.

    Man, gas and air is brilliant. I'm so mad that the hospital here doesn't use it...
  • I was having back labor and when the woman came in to give me my epidural I asked her if she could wait til my contraction passed. No she told me to "suck it up" and did it anyway. So I did what any rational person would do and reached behind to smack her. I missed of course because my fiancé knew what I was about to do & grabbed my arm. Now I feel like I was such a baby about it lol
  • @RaisingJulian I would've done the same thing wtf..."bitch I am in labor don't tell me to SUCK IT UP!" *smack!* lol
  • With my first my labor stalled after 14 hours. I couldn't have an epidural because of a latex allergy (this was nearly 16 years ago and the hospitals were not completely latex free like they are now). The dr ordered pitocin to be started and I continued to labor hard and unmediated for 20 more hours. I was pretty much silent other than crying. I ended up needing an emergency c section and that's where and when things got ugly from me.
    I was put completely under and when I woke in the recovery room I started screaming that they needed to hurry and get him out. I also was obsessively pressing my pain medication pump button and cussing about how "this f-ing morphine sucks".
    Unfortunately this was all documented on video. The worse part is that my son was in the room being loved on by my family and in the 20 minutes of my documented time as a foul mouthed crazy woman, I never once asked about my son. :(
  • I pulled a @VexedMommy in the delivery room! They were massaging my uterus trying to get the placenta out. Midwife at one point told me to gently push as she massaged. I did and nothing happened. I went back to focusing on my little man on my chest but must have kept pushing and when the midwife hit a certain spot, I shot blood crime-scene style across everyone south of the border!

    My reaction? I laughed (partially because I remembered VexedMommy's story). Then apologized. Midwife asked if I had pushed and all I could say was "I have no idea!" They all thought it was funny enough to not be too upset about being sprayed. And now I'll never be forgotten!
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