Stressed About My Shower Theme — The Bump
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Stressed About My Shower Theme

My shower is coming up and the theme is stressing me out. The hostesses asked every guest to bring a beloved teddy bear to the party. While this is very me, unfortunately my lifelong beloved teddy bear began to officially fall apart at the beginning of my pregnancy. Being hormonal, and this bear as one of my favorite worldly possessions I put him away padded and safely wrapped up to see if a dollmaker could fix him after my pregnancy. (I could not handle the complete loss of this beloved item during pregnancy and the hormonal ride it is.) Anyways when the invitation was shared with me after it was sent out I was told the guests were asked to bring a bear and that the theme around teddy bears was particularly choosen because of my own childhood obsession with my own teddy bear. I was a little unsettled about the theme at first because as an adult my insane teddy bear love is not something I share with my adult friends and a bit embarrassing, but I understood it is a very sweet idea and that the hostesses who are all family were only trying to pick something that related to my childhood, and that was cute. I thought at first it wouldn't bother me, but as I am in the last month of pregnancy now and more tired and emotionally drained than ever I am finding it hard not to feel just overwhelmed by the day to day and when I think about my own bear it just puts me over the edge for some reason. I know this must seem like the most juvenile saga ever. But the fact that my own bear will not be in good enough shape to attend especially with children in attendance, and as my family knows how much I am obsessed with this childhood bear it will inevitably come up and be a topic of conversation just makes me feel spun out and brings me to tears. I do not want to get upset and embarrass myself in front of my friends because my Aunts will want to know all about where my beloved chilshood bear is and it is simply something I was hoping not to think about in general until my baby was born. I also don't want to end up being ungracious to those who threw the party as their hearts are in the right place, O am just very emotional right now and finding it all a little too much.Any suggestions on how to handle this awkward theme?

Re: Stressed About My Shower Theme

  • I will look for a Lucite container the rest of this week I think. That is a very good idea. That way he can be safely contained. Thank you very much for this idea!
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  • I like the shadow box idea. 

    Also, Yes, you are being overly emotional about this. I'm sure it's due to your hormones, but still... this really isn't something to be stressed out over. Relax and enjoy your shower, and you'll have a few new teddy bears for your LO. It's a cute idea. Lighten up.
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  • viabugviabug
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited October 2015
    Lurker from TTGP. love the shadow box idea. Or if you truly don't want to deal with it now do you have a picture of you with the teddy bear that can be enlarged and displayed? Then you won't even have to think about transporting it. :D

    *edit* I said ready bear instead of teddy...
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  • I was also going to suggest that your special bear be displayed in a protected box or case -- so, great solution! Or, choose one close relative/hostess and explain the situation and let her know that your won't be able to bring your bear. Or, bring a different bear.  Or don't bring a bear at all. 

    When asked the inevitable question, just let people know that the original bear wasn't feeling up to traveling and being around company while he waits his turn at the bear "hospital." Keep it humorous and light, and don't engage a lot of conversation about you and your special childhood bear. Stay focused on the future and wonderful attachments your baby will form with special toys and loveys.

    I'm also a stuffed animal person.  I still have some special stuffed animals that have been with me since I was a tiny kid.  So I can understand feeling sentimentally attached to them.  I've had to contend with a few special friends growing raggedy.  The decision about what to do with these older sentimental items is a tough one.  I suspect that what's really at the root of this is you have a terrible fear that you are going to lose your bear if he is not repaired, but if he is repaired, he might be so radically altered that you might as well have lost him.

    Keep the faith! I suspect that in the future one of two things will happen:  1) you will find an awesome doll hospital which will work with you to repair your bear without altering him so substantially that he ceases to be himself, or 2) you will so enjoy watching your child grow and become attached to special loveys that you will less keenly feel the attachment to your own stuffed animals.

    Either way, relax and enjoy your shower, with or without the bear.  Don't make this issue bigger than it is.
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  • Uhmmm, no I was genuinely confused and agreeing with the OP that is is an awkward theme and letting her know it is ok to not bring her bear as I have a feeling she won't be the only one there without one.  Speaking as someone who doesn't have a beloved bear, I don't know how I would approach a shower invitation like this.  It's just an odd theme and her hosts probably should have chosen another one.
  • @primrosemama I normally, totally agree with you and adore your advice, but I totally get @angetralala's first statement. Disney did come across straight sarcasm font. The OP didn't pick the theme and may not even know the purpose of the bears other than the hosts thought it would be something she'd like and find sentimental.  I do think that OP is a bit too worked up over this, but I'm sure that hormones are playing a part in this.  On another note, people can and will respond to each other how they want to on here. So hopefully OP will read past the comments that aren't helpful, some just didn't even read like they were trying to be helpful or advice at all, and just get past this and enjoy her shower. 
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  • Sassenach1743Sassenach1743
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited October 2015
    I read it as, the hosts requesting new bears for the baby... Not for the guests to bring their own childhood bears. Really, a bunch of grown women sitting around like 6 yr olds playing tea party with their bears. Now THAT would be totally weird.

    No no, I told the OP to relax and enjoy her shower because it really just sounded like the teddy bear theme was a play on her favorite childhood toy, so the guests were asked to bring one for the new baby... so he/she would have plenty of teddy bears to play with, and maybe even love one of them as much as OP loved hers. After all, her aunts (family) came up with the idea so they probably just thought it was sweet, not with an intention to embarrass her. I really think this was read into the wrong way.

    OP, either shadow box your bear or leave it safely at home. I'm sure your aunts will have a few childhood pictures of you on display. Please try to find the joy in this theme, and your shower. I'm sure it was only meant to cheer you on now that you'll have your own LO... and he'll have a bear of his own.
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  • angetralalaangetralala
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited October 2015
    @charminglysouthern I'm a big proponent of therapy and coping mechanisms. But I've seen you 'round these parts, so I will be completely transparent and say I did not read your comment 'in the manner in which it was intended.' One sentence does not a necessarily-constructive comment make.

    Edited because it's morning and I forgot to tag.

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  • I have to totally agree with @CharminglySouthern. What you, @angetralala, may not consider a constructive comment others may interpret as exactly that. I believe OP is unfortunately getting way too worked up about this and I echo PPs in suggesting she seek therapy as a way to help her deal with this issue.

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    dufferoo said:
    So no one's calling mud here? Man, i must be rusty!

    You're not alone. My response was short because I wasn't going to expend too much energy on this. :)
  • dufferoo said:
    So no one's calling mud here? Man, i must be rusty!

    This is bizarre to say the least.


  • I don't even know what to think.
  • It's my opinion. Just like you all shared yours. Several of you just jumped up to repeatedly tell me how rude I am. What's the difference ? You don't have to agree with me. I'm not even sure why any of you would be offended. The user I responded to said she was still new and was responding to not being sure why the other person had the feelings they had towards another user. I said give it some time. It isn't that serious and what I said really wasn't offensive. But, if you want to be upset, that's fine. Enjoy your 3 day weekend and learn to accept dissenting opinions, especially as ppl on here so often can dish them.
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