Questions only a physician can answer

VexedMommy

@Bumpadmin

I am genuinely curious because this is becoming an issue on this board.  How is the community expected to react when a woman asks a question that should very obviously be asked of her doctor and not a forum of random untrained women she has found online?  What is the correct welcoming tone to use when a mother has chosen to put her and her child's life at risk by not reaching out for medical help during a medical event?

ETA:  This was actually written before I noticed the other post about when to call your doctor was closed and not in response to that.  It is a genuine question though.   

urby87

I feel that this is a very valid question and hope to see an official answer.

lakesideknitter

urby87 said:

I feel that this is a very valid question and hope to see an official answer.

Same here. I think it would really benefit this community for us to have more of an understanding of what's expected from us in situations like the recently closed threads.

kittyberet

I agree are we just to ignore these posts or how are we "allowed" to respond.

mamavbs

VexedMommy said:

@Bumpadmin

I am genuinely curious because this is becoming an issue on this board.  How is the community expected to react when a woman asks a question that should very obviously be asked of her doctor and not a forum of random untrained women she has found online?  What is the correct welcoming tone to use when a mother has chosen to put her and her child's life at risk by not reaching out for medical help during a medical event?

ETA:  This was actually written before I noticed the other post about when to call your doctor was closed and not in response to that.  It is a genuine question though.   

This is a great question. It's in the TOU that "While The Bump Community is a great place to give and receive support, only your medical professionals can confirm a pregnancy or diagnose issues." so surely posting questions that are asking for such advice- is also a TOU violation?

I'm not trying to stir an issue here, again it's a genuine question.

grapesoda1111

I am also wondering. Thanks for posting. Hope we hear an answer.

Knottie16832459

I'm just going to make a guess here, but I think most of these questions are always followed up by a call to the doctor. Pretty much every answer is "I'd call to be sure, I wish you well!" so I think we are all responding well. I've posted these questions before and I was mainly freaking out and needed to assess the situation by talking it out loud (in text...) to make my own rational decision. It's a sounding board, a friend to call when you know darn well what to do but need support. I think we view the questions as a reach out for support and we give it to them. I don't think these mothers are sitting there hemmoraging or lying on the floor with contractions while waiting for a response on what to do here, at least from the questions I've seen posted, so I don't see much of a risk if she chooses to post before making a decision.

kittyberet

Knottie16832459 said:

I'm just going to make a guess here, but I think most of these questions are always followed up by a call to the doctor. Pretty much every answer is "I'd call to be sure, I wish you well!" so I think we are all responding well. I've posted these questions before and I was mainly freaking out and needed to assess the situation by talking it out loud (in text...) to make my own rational decision. It's a sounding board, a friend to call when you know darn well what to do but need support. I think we view the questions as a reach out for support and we give it to them. I don't think these mothers are sitting there hemmoraging or lying on the floor with contractions while waiting for a response on what to do here, at least from the questions I've seen posted, so I don't see much of a risk if she chooses to post before making a decision.

You are giving a lot of credit here. On my last BMB (May 14) we had a woman experience a late loss because she spent 3 days posting about significant bleeding and would not go in to get herself checked out the whole time everyone was urging her to go in,call her dr. heck anything! After that experience I take each and every poster asking about medical advise as the same type of situation and urge them to get off the computer and go to the ER or call their Dr. I think you glossed over the fact that some posters are ignoring day(s!!) of contractions and other indicators of preterm labor because it's after hours, "they don't want to bother the doctor" or any other excuse.

vrossolille

I don't get why people don't just ignore it? Why get your panties in a bunch? Who cares?

Knottie16832459

@kittyberet I did try to emphasize that my statement was a guess and generalized - I do realize that's not always the case, but it is with anything that we can control. I believe those women who waited would have done it with or without Internet access so it's a moot point. We could handle it all properly according to some ultimate ruling somewhere but we can't make them go or call the cops on them, but we can be supportive and understanding to the women are are willing to listen.

Edited for addition - again, I assume they would do it with or without us here because every single response says call the doc, I've yet to see one that says "grab some ice cream and relax, just ignore it." Clearly we aren't getting through to those select few.

natalknitter15

vrossolille said:

I don't get why people don't just ignore it? Why get your panties in a bunch? Who cares?

I don't think anyone's panties are in a bunch. To answer your first question - Contributors don't ignore medical posts because some of these could have serious (I'm talking life-or-death) consequences. Someone twiddling their thumbs, musing about whether they should pick up a phone, and asking internet strangers for medical advice is just insanity.

kittyberet

vrossolille said:

I don't get why people don't just ignore it? Why get your panties in a bunch? Who cares?

Apparently you missed where I posted about a woman who had a late loss because she wouldn't see her doctor. This is why I care, I don't want to console a mother after something like this (preventable) ever again. We know you have a history of only giving a crap about yourself but some of us on this board actually like to give helpful advice, snark or not.

VexedMommy

vrossolille said:

I don't get why people don't just ignore it? Why get your panties in a bunch? Who cares?

Because it's basically putting a message on the internet saying that my child and I are quite possibly in danger and asking for help.  If someone were bleeding on the street and asked what to do about it would you just walk past them or would you tell them to get to a hospital asap?  What if it were a baby dying in the street and the mother asked you whether you thought they should bring them to the doctor?  That, in my mind, is the equivalent of what these ladies are doing. 

FinePlacentaPie

vrossolille said:

I don't get why people don't just ignore it? Why get your panties in a bunch? Who cares?

I care if it means a mom and baby might have their lives at risk, as I figure most of the women here do. If a woman is posting about whether her CM is normal? Yeah, probably not life-threatening. If you're asking if you're in labor or if the pain that has you on the floor crying is normal? Get thee to a doctor and get off the internet. 

Knottie16832459

I think by the loud, resounding response to vrossolille, the question was answered. "What do we do?" "Tell them to go to the doctor." Outside of that, I concur with @vrossolille, I'm not getting anything else in a twist, my newly enlarged butt gets enough wedgies these days.

MiMary80

The frustrating part is that if you need to ask a community of strangers about a medical issue (emphasis on ISSUE), you should stop and think "does my dr know more about me than a group of complete strangers?" Chances are, yes. So call. TOU violation solved. It's very worrisome that someone could be sitting there waiting for a response to their post before calling their dr or going to get it checked out.

katiedhunter

vrossolille said:

I don't get why people don't just ignore it? Why get your panties in a bunch? Who cares?

I care because I'm a decent human being that cares about others. And it scares me thinking that someone might be waiting for an actual answer before they call their doctor. But I will say what bothers me is the lack of an update most of these posts have.

dmiller1213

vrossolille said:

I don't get why people don't just ignore it? Why get your panties in a bunch? Who cares?

I care because an innocent unborn babies life is involved. These babies don't ask to be born into a world where mothers don't have the sense to seek professional help before asking internet strangers.

modanz1

dmiller1213 said:

I don't get why people don't just ignore it? Why get your panties in a bunch? Who cares?

I care because an innocent unborn babies life is involved. These babies don't ask to be born into a world where mothers don't have the sense to seek professional help before asking internet strangers.

YEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

jscasher

vrossolille said:

I don't get why people don't just ignore it? Why get your panties in a bunch? Who cares?

Because some people aren't jerks who are okay with poor or incorrect advice being given...

BumpAdmin

Thank you all for reaching out about this. 

@Mamavbs was correct in quoting the following from our Guidelines: "While The Bump Community is a great place to give and receive support, only your medical professionals can confirm a pregnancy or diagnose issues." 

Posts in which members ask medically-based questions are not against our TOU. Members are certainly allowed to ask these questions, while keeping in mind that guidance received here is not meant to take the place of your medical professionals.

I am moving this thread to the Bump HQ board, as this discussion is helpful for new members entering The Bump Community to see.