Breastfeeding encouragement

SashaDenn25

I feel like a d***. My LO has been latching great from the beginning and my supply is good. I might have an oversupply in my left as sometimes she seems to choke, but other than that things are good. She unlatches a lot throughout a feeding, but latches back on inmediately. This seems to frustrate her and I think shes getting air because of it, so I basically just have to make her burp a lot. Our feeds arent getting shorter due to this and I still just feel like we are just feeding all the time. I get very short spurts of doing other things with LO and then stretches when she sleeps obviously. Anyways, I just need some encouragement Im drowning. I feel like an a** because BF has been easy as far as latch and supply and I know others have had issues, but I just never realized how demanding BF is and while I want this for my LO, I so want to throw in the towel. DH gets barely any time with her bc it seems shes just a snacker anyways and in between the longer feedings she will eat a couple minutes here and there too. This is everyday, not just cluster feeding days. I will feel so guilty if I gave up over it just being hard. I dont know what to do. I need to introduce a bottle soon for when she starts going to a caregiver, but I wasnt planning on EPing either. I was going to pump for her at work and then nurse her at night. Idk what im looking for here. Someone to say its okay to feel this way? Or itll get easier?? Time frame of when it gets easier? Ugh...idk

Sorry so long..guess I needed to let it out.

acgonzalez22

I have a love/hate relationship with BF. Every night I want to give up. And every morning I say I'm going to stick it out another day. It is absolutely normal to feel this way. You have to do what is best for you and best for LO. Maybe just stick with it and see if things improve. If not, there is nothing to feel bad over. You tried the best you could.

toshajade

I don't have a solution for you, or any suggestions but I just wanted you to know I feel exactly the same! I havnt been able to say anything to other new mums I know because they have had issues with babies that don't match or lack of supply and I know I should be so so thankful that I have a good supply and a baby that knows how to do it, but having a baby almost constantly hanging off your boob and your whole day dictated by when and where you are going to be doing your next feed is really quite tricky. I had a melt down over this last week, this week has been better but I do feel so very guilty because I should be loving this gift of succeeding at this so much more than I am.

Please know to the ladies that are struggling, I really do appreciate that I am nurturing and growing my son but it isn't without its difficulties.

abmommy15

I feel the exact same way most of the time. I think it's totally normal. BF moms spend so much time chained to a couch with LO feeding we feel like we miss things, can't accomplish things and don't get to share the baby. I struggle because I spend so much time feeding that when he isn't eating I want to put him down and get things done or just relax. Then I feel super guilty because I'm not spending time with him when he is content and fed. Mommy guilt is real but just remember whatever you decide to do will be great. Every day you stick it out is fantastic but millions of babies are not breastfed and are just as healthy as BF babies. Being a mom is really hard and breastfeeding doesn't make it any easier but just remember that you are a great mom and your LO will thrive because of that!!

SashaDenn25

acgonzalez22 said:

I have a love/hate relationship with BF. Every night I want to give up. And every morning I say I'm going to stick it out another day. It is absolutely normal to feel this way. You have to do what is best for you and best for LO. Maybe just stick with it and see if things improve. If not, there is nothing to feel bad over. You tried the best you could.

This exactly...im crying at night sometimes thinking I cant do it another day and then I wake up going, come on you can do this. And then throughout the day as im stuck on the couch, exactly how @abmommy15 described it, im like I just want to go somewhere with LO and not wonder about logistics. I pump, but never bring a bottle with us. Silly I know. Idk why I dont. She had 1oz out of a bottle today while I took a shower. It took her so long to get it down, but im okay with that since I want her to be pace fed when I go back to work anyways.

bpwife&mama

I am going to tell you something most probably won't. If you want to throw in the towel, you can! It so doesn't make you a bad mom. Your baby will be fine either way she is fed. You can pump and give her bottles and she will be fine. Your time with your LO is so precious and you deserve to love it. Don't agonize over the decision to quit. You can if you want to. Hope things get better! Hugs!

Miz_Liz

Removing the emotional part and demanding schedule (which sucks, but does get better), here is another reason to stick it out: 1 can of formula = $29.99 on average....let's say 1 can per week...4.3 weeks in a month = $128.96....6 months = $773.74......boobs are so much cheaper!!

Miz_Liz

Also you can pump and have DH or someone else give bottles when you need a break (and to get her used to bottles) without EP'ing.

laurenashley519

I've had issues with BF since day 1. Improper latch, severe nipple trauma, mastitis, baby girl not pooping without our help (suppositories) since we left the hospital, and today at her two week appointment we found out that she had only gained an ounce since her appointment at 3 days old. Doctor said she is failing to thrive and wants us to supplement after each feeding session. I feel so defeated. I have tried so hard to EBF and feel like I'm losing at every turn. While I do get frustrated sitting on the couch all day and feeling like a milk machine, I still want to breastfeed and I'm devastated that I can't provide enough for her. I completely understand being frustrated with it, just wanted to share my perspective. I needed to vent about it today as well I think no matter what your situation, BF'ing is way harder than we expected in one way or another. It's easier said than done, I know, but try not to feel guilty about whatever you decide. We're all just doing the best we can hang in there momma.

Starynightsky24

I understand the exhaustion *hugs*

Are you sure she's hungry? My LO was doing the same thing- then something AMAZING happened! She took a pacifier!!! Lol. I don't know how you feel about pacifiers but it has been a lifesaver for me. She goes much longer between feeds and will always let me know when she wants the boob instead.

Good luck! And remember this will not last forever.

SassetteSmurfling

Aw girl! It's perfectly normal to feel this way. Even the "easiest" nursers are difficult. It's a full time job on top of a full time job (of being a new mom).

Hang in there, it does get easier.

SashaDenn25

laurenashley519 said:

I've had issues with BF since day 1. Improper latch, severe nipple trauma, mastitis, baby girl not pooping without our help (suppositories) since we left the hospital, and today at her two week appointment we found out that she had only gained an ounce since her appointment at 3 days old. Doctor said she is failing to thrive and wants us to supplement after each feeding session. I feel so defeated. I have tried so hard to EBF and feel like I'm losing at every turn. While I do get frustrated sitting on the couch all day and feeling like a milk machine, I still want to breastfeed and I'm devastated that I can't provide enough for her. I completely understand being frustrated with it, just wanted to share my perspective. I needed to vent about it today as well I think no matter what your situation, BF'ing is way harder than we expected in one way or another. It's easier said than done, I know, but try not to feel guilty about whatever you decide. We're all just doing the best we can hang in there momma.

Im sorry its been such a struggle for you. *hugs* Vent away momma...thats what we are here for!!

SashaDenn25

@Starynightsky24 did LO just take it from you with no problem?? We gave her one at day 2 in the hospital when my right nipple was raw, but she wont take one from me. DH can get her to take it sometimes, but she absolutely will not take it from me. She isnt always hungry and I can tell from the suck and it isnt always a cluster feed for supply so I would love if she would take it every now and then, but I guess smells me and is like forget it, I want the boob.

Starynightsky24

@SashaDenn25 nope! I had to try 4 different nipple shapes before I found one she would take .

Start with the one that best mimics your nipple. I won't lie it was a pain but so worth it to me in the end.

candicejeff2013

Yep. I think about quitting everyday. Although my nipples are so sore and every feed is a struggle. The initial latch is the most painful and then the rest is ok. But I HAVE to tell myself it will get better....? Hopefully! I too feel a little "trapped" since BF is so demanding. I'm feeding ALL THE TIME. But, the first 3 month are supposed to be this way I hear. I've also ordered a ring sling for carrying and feeding. I hear it is one of the best things to help keep hands free. Do what's best for you. But I think youre just in the thick of it right now and that's totally normal. I believe it will get easier just hang with it!!

SashaDenn25

Ive never heard of the ring sling. Ill have to look into it. I tried the moby wrap to be hands free (not necessarily for feeding, just in general) and I was a hot mess trying to get it right.

Miz_Liz

SashaDenn25 said:

Ive never heard of the ring sling. Ill have to look into it. I tried the moby wrap to be hands free (not necessarily for feeding, just in general) and I was a hot mess trying to get it right.

Oh God, if anyone had video taped me trying to get the moby right, that video would go viral. I never did figure it out, I just got mad and gave up!

raelynch87

@SashaDenn25 I have the exact same problem. No huge problems, possible over supply in right breast but I feel glued to my sofa. Nursing in the moby wasn't great (and isn't hands free since you're supposed to support baby when you move) but I found the ergo to work. The only problem I have with the ergo is that Vivian will fall asleep mid feed.

cseley321

abmommy15 said:

I feel the exact same way most of the time. I think it's totally normal. BF moms spend so much time chained to a couch with LO feeding we feel like we miss things, can't accomplish things and don't get to share the baby. I struggle because I spend so much time feeding that when he isn't eating I want to put him down and get things done or just relax. Then I feel super guilty because I'm not spending time with him when he is content and fed. Mommy guilt is real but just remember whatever you decide to do will be great. Every day you stick it out is fantastic but millions of babies are not breastfed and are just as healthy as BF babies. Being a mom is really hard and breastfeeding doesn't make it any easier but just remember that you are a great mom and your LO will thrive because of that!!

This nailed my thoughts on it. I catch myself wanting to out her to sleep if she's not eating just so I can rest or get stuff done. I'm trying to cope by setting daily household chore goals so I don't overdo it.

mdfarmchick

@laurenashley519 have you considered renting a hospital grade pump (they are available at Babies'R'Us and possibly from your local hospital) and "supplementing" with bottle feeding breast milk? This is what I had to do, due to a "lazy, sleepy baby" who would never latch, just sleep. In five days, my milk supply went up and we were able to get LO back to his birth weight. It's an option instead of jumping straight to formula. We made this plan with our lactation consultant. The hospital grade pump made a huge difference in my supply and LO and I pretty much spent all day, everyday skin to skin. Good luck momma, I'll be praying for you.

BabyBean815

I too have felt like a jerk because although LO doesn't have any breastfeeding issues, I experience a lot of breastfeeding anxiety. The feeling of constantly being on call for feedings was driving me crazy. I tried pumping and it seriously made me feel miserable. DS is a slow eater and I felt like by the time he finished eating, I'd have to throw him into his rock n play, grab my pump and attempt to make magic happen. It really stressed me out. So I made the decision to do one formula bottle a day (for DH to give). Just having a stretch of time where i can breathe, and also having the option of going out for a few hours without rushing home to feed has been a weight lifted off my shoulders. However. I have felt a lot of guilt about this. Ultimately I have realized that the less stressed I am, the better mom I can be and will continue with my mostly breastfed, occasional formula fed routine as long as I can.

mrsb30

bpwife&mama said:

I am going to tell you something most probably won't. If you want to throw in the towel, you can! It so doesn't make you a bad mom. Your baby will be fine either way she is fed. You can pump and give her bottles and she will be fine. Your time with your LO is so precious and you deserve to love it. Don't agonize over the decision to quit. You can if you want to. Hope things get better! Hugs!

It's nice to read this encouragement. I agonized over breastfeeding the first 3 weeks. Cried daily as LO had latch issues and I had supply issues. We had to supplement with formula and the lactation consultant told us to take a break for a few days and just pump until she met with us again. Well that break never stopped because I realized that LO, me and DH are all happier and less stressed just bottle feeding and LO is now gaining weight. It's still hard for me sometimes because I had my heart set on bf. LO still tries to go to my breasts when she's already had a bottle maybe once a day or so. I know she's not really getting anything as she doesn't latch well, but in these moments when she's not hungry and frustrated it comforts her and is really special.

CaliforniaDream87

Miz_Liz said:

SashaDenn25 said:

Ive never heard of the ring sling. Ill have to look into it. I tried the moby wrap to be hands free (not necessarily for feeding, just in general) and I was a hot mess trying to get it right.

Oh God, if anyone had video taped me trying to get the moby right, that video would go viral. I never did figure it out, I just got mad and gave up!

YouTube taught me everything I know. Just YouTube it ladies!!!

kjandericka

SashaDenn25 said:

@Starynightsky24 did LO just take it from you with no problem?? We gave her one at day 2 in the hospital when my right nipple was raw, but she wont take one from me. DH can get her to take it sometimes, but she absolutely will not take it from me. She isnt always hungry and I can tell from the suck and it isnt always a cluster feed for supply so I would love if she would take it every now and then, but I guess smells me and is like forget it, I want the boob.

Have you tried feeding her the bottle while she lays in your lap (her head at your knees and her feet up by your stomach)? That way, the hold doesn't mimic breastfeeding. I know that helps encourage some babies to take bottles from mom.

kettlekitten

First of all, I'm so jealous of those of you for whom BFing is easy! Secondly, I think every single woman on this board is having 'troubles' with feeding, whether they are BFing, formula feeding, EPing, pumping and supplementing, whatever... No way is easy. If you switch to formula, there'll be issues as well (hello washing and sterilising bottles in the middle of the night). Not knocking formula, just pointing out that there is no feeding method that is without its difficulties. You may still have to cluster feed anyway.

I totally understand how you feel, I just think you need to take it a day at a time and I think you should also see an LC to see if they can help with your 'snacking' baby. I am sure they would be able to offer some guidance. This phase will not last forever, it may only be a few weeks more. Good luck with whatever you decide!

SashaDenn25

CaliforniaDream87 said:

Miz_Liz said:

SashaDenn25 said:

Ive never heard of the ring sling. Ill have to look into it. I tried the moby wrap to be hands free (not necessarily for feeding, just in general) and I was a hot mess trying to get it right.

Oh God, if anyone had video taped me trying to get the moby right, that video would go viral. I never did figure it out, I just got mad and gave up!

YouTube taught me everything I know. Just YouTube it ladies!!!

Any good videos??? I tried to follow one over and over again and I ended up yelling at the lady for going to fast...yes I yelled at my tv while some lady tried to teach me to use my moby. Good times.

SashaDenn25

@kjandericka ive never heard of this, but I sit with her in that position when I read to her so I know its comfortable for her and I may have to try it!

@kettlekitten I may have to finally call to make a LC appointment. I kept saying I dont need one bc she latches fine and then I would say no I want them to watch a feeding just to see if theres anything at all I can change even if things are going well. I think I need to see someone just so maybe I wi have extra tips and tricks when things are hard.

@bpwife&mama thank you so much. Im not ready to give up yet, but I do just need someone to say if I do, its okay because my biggest issue is the guilt I feel

@Miz_Liz Ive done that damn math for formula over and over again. Im such a numbers person and sometimes it sucks that I am because thats weighs on me too. Im like God gave me a supply for a reason so I need to use it! I also have an oversupply right now so im building small freezer stash for when I go back, but I also feel compelled to keep up that supply to donate any abundance. I never thought about it before until a couple littles on here used donor milk and I now have the urge to provide that for someone else if I am able.

deleted22152218

I also am definitely beginning to feel overwhelmed myself. Haven't met with a doctor or .LC on the matter, buuut I'm pretty sure I'm dealing with a forceful letdown / oversupply issue. DD seems unhappy and I feel exhausted from living breastfeeding session to breastfeeding session. Plus I feel guilty for not cherishing these moments as much as I should. Why am I even concerned with being able to put my baby down? I feel like I shouldn't get quite as overwhelmed as I do feel! I guess the icing on the cake is that my SO is sick so I haven't been able to hand our daughter off to him when I need a break unless she's asleep in her bassinet, which doesn't last long. I just keep telling myself that this is the uphill battle. This is the hardest part. It's all downhill from here! ...hopefully!

jesselayne8

What helped with my first baby was setting small goals. She was born on a Friday so every week I would tell myself we would just make it BFing until next Friday. I also went to LLL meetings. It really helped me to hang out with other moms who had their boobs hanging out with a baby attacked 80% of the time. Somehow those weeks passed quickly and once I hit 13 weeks then it was no longer an issue and We made it 8 months. With my 2nd child I set monthly goals and we made it 13 months.

nakoppel

Girl I totally hear you! I tell most people that I really dislike nursing and the only thing keeping me doing it is that I know for a fact that DH and I can't afford formula. I honestly feel it's best for my LO but I hate feeling chained to my couch, and the fact that LO feeds for 40 minutes every two hours it's SO HARD to get stuff done. In order to get any school work done I have to nurse him the whole time I do home work. We've had really minimal problems (I needed a nipple shield but once we got on that its been smooth sailing) but I just really dislike having LO hang off my titty all day. It also doesn't help my mom is here to help us and is pretty anti breast feeding. I just hang in there knowing I'm doing the best for LO and we can't afford formula. I used to pump after every feeding trying to build up a supply so we could do more bottle feedings but then I felt like all I did was pump and feed. Now I pump once a day. I guess I don't have any real advice just that you aren't alone. *big hugs*.

tarheelgirl8

You're not alone! It's definitely frustrating to be chained to the couch. I think @BabyBean815 put it beautifully when she said she felt like she was "on call" all the time. That is exactly how I feel!

One thing that has helped me the past week or so: I've started pumping once a day and DH will give her a bottle at night. I still pump around the time he feeds her to keep my supply up but it has really saved my sanity. Since I can double pump, it takes half the time. Plus I can do it somewhat at my convenience. The pump is not going to cry and interrupt my dinner!

Like @nakoppel, I'm also motivated by the cost savings compared to formula. And I know that once DD gets a little older, her feedings will be a little further apart and more predictable. Hang in there!

gulimz

I've been fortunate enough to finally get LO to latch and we've been bf'ing during the day. And it takes all day. I seldom get to do anything else. When DH comes home, we switch to bottle. I still get to pump 2 or 3 oz so he gives her that, then we do 4 oz of formula (only because I don't have a huge supply) then she sleeps for a while. When she wakes up in the middle of the night, it's back to breast. Since you have a awesome supply, maybe you can do something similar that I do sans the formula? And like @Miz_Liz said, formula is crazy expensive. I was luckily to get a crate of samples from enfamil and a crap load of 5 dollar coupons for the the 7.99 nursette bottles so it came out to 2.99. Luckily we don't use a lot, but for people who FF exclusively, it costs a lot of money!!!

SashaDenn25

@gulimz I think we might actually switch to that type of schedule. Instead of freezing so much, start keeping some out to bottle feed at night. She has to get used to a bottle for when I go back to work and I need to make sure shes going to like what kind I have or if we are going to have to do some bottle testing!

kjandericka

My little piglet will eat anything: boob, bottle, breastmilk, formula, hot, cold. Im grateful for his flexibility because otherwise he would starve (I've had supply issues so we have to supplement). But I've heard that a lot of picky babies like MAM bottles. Just be careful if you get them because the bottom screws off (I accidentally dumped a few oz of breastmilk on the floor once).

stephhpets

Breast feeding totally utterly sucks! I've been doing it for 4 weeks but baby has recently gone on strike. We are trying skin to skin to get him back on. I've dealt with extremely painful nips, poor latch, mastitis (with two 103 F fevers and antibiotics), clogged ducts, a baby who aggressively fights the boob, never ending engorgement, and anxiety about feeding. Luckily I have a large supply and can pump and feed, but this is ridiculously challenging!! The only moms who hear that love it are 6 months in or more - seems like it takes a long time to consider BFing awesome. I agree with all the benefits, but I'm always hours away from becoming an exclusive pumper.

mgarrett921

I'm in the exact same boat. I really dislike the demands of BFing and the mess and extra requirements, like pumping. I think it's normal to feel this way. At least that's what I'm telling myself. When my LC told me to give myself a break and pump a little less and give baby to dad to bottle feed every so often it really helped. And my supply has not diminished but my mental outlook on BF is much improved. Hang in there.

mgarrett921

SashaDenn25 said:

acgonzalez22 said:

I have a love/hate relationship with BF. Every night I want to give up. And every morning I say I'm going to stick it out another day. It is absolutely normal to feel this way. You have to do what is best for you and best for LO. Maybe just stick with it and see if things improve. If not, there is nothing to feel bad over. You tried the best you could.

This exactly...im crying at night sometimes thinking I cant do it another day and then I wake up going, come on you can do this. And then throughout the day as im stuck on the couch, exactly how @abmommy15 described it, im like I just want to go somewhere with LO and not wonder about logistics. I pump, but never bring a bottle with us. Silly I know. Idk why I dont. She had 1oz out of a bottle today while I took a shower. It took her so long to get it down, but im okay with that since I want her to be pace fed when I go back to work anyways.

Pace feeding is fabulous. We do it with 2-3 bottles a day. Works great and helped my sanity a TON. We're going to give instructions to our care provider to do it too. So I can BF first thing in the morning and at night. And take bottles with u when you go out. At least 1-2 depending on how long you're gone. Yesterday was our first long outing and she got a bottle then because my boobs needed it, I got to experience BFing at a restaurant. Not bad at all. Then next time grandma gave her a bottle - I was getting my hair colored. The next time, BF. Worked great.

PixelPosy

SashaDenn25 said:

SashaDenn25 said:

Ive never heard of the ring sling. Ill have to look into it. I tried the moby wrap to be hands free (not necessarily for feeding, just in general) and I was a hot mess trying to get it right.

Oh God, if anyone had video taped me trying to get the moby right, that video would go viral. I never did figure it out, I just got mad and gave up!

YouTube taught me everything I know. Just YouTube it ladies!!!

Any good videos??? I tried to follow one over and over again and I ended up yelling at the lady for going to fast...yes I yelled at my tv while some lady tried to teach me to use my moby. Good times.

I learned to use the Moby from this video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkXW6_D5Da4

gulimz

SashaDenn25 said:

@gulimz I think we might actually switch to that type of schedule. Instead of freezing so much, start keeping some out to bottle feed at night. She has to get used to a bottle for when I go back to work and I need to make sure shes going to like what kind I have or if we are going to have to do some bottle testing!

@SashaDenn25 , I had gotten all sorts of fancy expensive bottles and went crazy. Nothing was working for LO till a bunch of people on here recommended good ol Dr browns bottles. They're cheap and simply amazing. No nipple confusion and she drinks waaaay slower with it vs any other bottle/nipple. Highly recommend it for a bottle.

SashaDenn25

PixelPosy said:

SashaDenn25 said:

CaliforniaDream87 said:

Miz_Liz said:

SashaDenn25 said:

Ive never heard of the ring sling. Ill have to look into it. I tried the moby wrap to be hands free (not necessarily for feeding, just in general) and I was a hot mess trying to get it right.

Oh God, if anyone had video taped me trying to get the moby right, that video would go viral. I never did figure it out, I just got mad and gave up!

YouTube taught me everything I know. Just YouTube it ladies!!!

Any good videos??? I tried to follow one over and over again and I ended up yelling at the lady for going to fast...yes I yelled at my tv while some lady tried to teach me to use my moby. Good times.

I learned to use the Moby from this video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkXW6_D5Da4

I will check it out before I give in and return!!

SashaDenn25

gulimz said:

SashaDenn25 said:

@gulimz I think we might actually switch to that type of schedule. Instead of freezing so much, start keeping some out to bottle feed at night. She has to get used to a bottle for when I go back to work and I need to make sure shes going to like what kind I have or if we are going to have to do some bottle testing!

@SashaDenn25 , I had gotten all sorts of fancy expensive bottles and went crazy. Nothing was working for LO till a bunch of people on here recommended good ol Dr browns bottles. They're cheap and simply amazing. No nipple confusion and she drinks waaaay slower with it vs any other bottle/nipple. Highly recommend it for a bottle.

I know I keep seeing everyone say Dr.Browns. Im buying one tomorrow to try bc I have all avent bottles and well that didnt go so well when we tried a bottle feed tonight!!