PPD support / Formula advice needed

AlwaysSunny1012

This week has been the worst of my life. I was perfectly fine on Sunday, a bit blue but generally fine, then suddenly on Monday something sort of snapped inside of me and an anxiety and panic so heavy washed over me I couldn't function. I couldnt sleep from Monday - Saturday and wound up in the ER at 4am Saturday morning because I totally broke down. They put me on drugs that won't allow me to feed my baby anymore. I am going to keep pumping and dumping in the hopes I will pull through this quickly and be able to go back to breastfeeding. I slept last night but only because of some hard core drugs. My LO can't sleep in our room at night because the type of drug makes it dangerous for me to care for him since I am so out of it. My mom has had to become his primary caretaker for now. I have to start him on formula which is breaking my heart but what else can I do? I know there have been formula threads but I am having a hard time sorting through them. I am looking for support from anyone suffering from PPD but also if anyone can recommend the best formula to transition him to. I am still in total shock since this was outbid the blue and I have never had any anxiety issues in my life. Thank you for any suggestions or just your good thought and vibes you can send my way.

Sammy K

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm glad you have your mom to help and that you are getting the help, rest, and support you need. I sincerely hope you get through this quickly, but even if not, your health is what's important. Put on your own oxygen mask first. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of your baby. And if that means formula, that's perfectly ok.

You will get through this. Things will improve. Depression lies.

Big hugs lady. I'll be thinking of you.

ciennah99

I'm sending good thoughts your way and offering support in whatever way I can. I was diagnosed with panic disorder eight years ago and I know how hard it can be. I definitely struggled with some bad panic attacks since baby was born but luckily I've had so much experience learning to deal with them in the past that I've learned a lot of good coping techniques. I have one med I can take when it gets really bad and I was still able to be breast-feeding. It's the same med I mentioned on the sleep thread. A quarter of a trazodone is enough to calm me and it was approved for breast-feeding. I also take Prozac to keep my anxiety under control and that was approved as well. When I initially went into a crisis mode of cycling panic attacks I had to take Ativan every four hours around-the-clock and I know you can't take that with breast-feeding. Hopefully you can get over this crisis period like you said and resume breast-feeding again. Maybe you could ask the pediatrician if there are similar meds you could take that are approved for breast-feeding once you get your system settled down some. Most importantly You have to take care of yourself so you can take care of your baby. It's OK to use the formula. Baby will be ok and this will get better. Stress & Lack of sleep affect the anxiety and panic so much so hopefully you can get some sleep and it will calm down some. I would highly recommend some counseling. They can teach you strategies to deal with the panic and self talk to help Bring yourself down. It's still hard but I've gotten really good at managing this and usually don't need to take any medicine other than the Prozac to keep myself more level. I'm able to bring the panic down before it gets too out of control just by using my coping techniques especially self talk & slow belly breathing. Breath is everything when dealing with panic. I truly understand how difficult this is and I'm here if you need anything.

dancegurl1118

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Know that you're doing what's best for your baby by taking care of yourself. You need a healthy mama for a healthy baby. Try not to get too worked up about formula -- it's not rat poison and you're feeding your child which is what's important. I'm proud of you for reaching out and for getting help, that's so hard. Huge hugs and we're always here!!!

ksimo6

I also have pp anxiety and understand how difficult it can be. You are doing the right thing. Take care of yourself. Your child will benefit.

On formula- try the basic similac or enfamil for a week and see how your LO tolerates. If LO has a bunch of gas or is uncomfortable, then start looking at gentle options. Good luck!

AlwaysSunny1012

"ciennah99" thank you so much for those suggestions. I am going to talk to my doctor about Prozac and trazadone. I am trying to get an appointment with a psychiatrist on Tuesday or Wednesday and already have 2x weekly appointments with a therapist set up for next week. Right now they gave my Ativan and ambien just to get me through the weekend until I can get to the psychiatrist. I am prepared to give up breastfeeding if that is what it takes but, if I can continue it, I'd be thrilled. I truly believe that a healthy mommy is the most important thing so that is my first priority. I am still in shock about how fast this all came on and have zero experience coping so everyone's good thoughts and support are invaluable.

ChardeeMacDennis

I don't have anything new to add, I'm just so glad you're getting the help you need. Lots of good thoughts for you. I hope some solid rest really helps.

mlindzz

I second the pp. I'm sorry I don't have any experiences to share about formula or PPD, but I'm glad you have family support. Know that these overwhelming feelings won't last forever, but you've done the hardest and most important step already... reaching out and accepting help. You aren't alone.
Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!

MaliKaela

I'm so sorry you are struggling like this. I've been going through the medication/breastfeeding pros/cons internal debate since day one. And i've done a ton of research on it. Try the lactmed app for the most current information on drugs and breastfeeding. It sounds like what you are currently on is not compatible, but if you have an appointment with a doctor they should be willing to work with you in figuring it out. It is a nice tool to have so when they suggest a med you can look it up real quick. I find that while doctors will work with you, very few are themselves experts so it you are knowledgeable it helps. Especially since many doctors err on the side of caution and will tell you no bf'ing without really knowing about the compatibility. They are more likely to do the research if you show them it is important to you. This is a major unpopular opinion, but from what I can tell very few drugs are completely off the table with bf'ing. It's my personal opinion that the benefits of breastmilk outweigh the risks of most drugs if used as prescribed. That being said, at our first visit the pediatrician told me that if it didn't work out, and I couldn't breastfeed, not to be crushed. That the important thing was to take care of myself so I could take care of my baby. Sometimes I have to supplement if I have to take something that I feel better about pumping and dumping (or because I can't keep up with the hungry hippo), and we use honest company formula. It is more expensive but it is organic and all that jazz and makes me feel better. You will be in my thoughts. : )

janat1717

I'm so sorry your going through that. I too had anxiety problems in the past and can't imagine dealing with them for the first time while with a newborn. My guy didn't latch for 3 weeks and I definitely went through some grieving and I researched formulas at the time. My top pick was Baby's Only. Holle looks awesome but hard to get. I want to research HIPP next. Hang in there and know that days will get brighter

KaLikeAWind

I'm sorry to hear you're going thru this. I'm pretty sure I remember reading your posts about insomnia in nighttime sucks. Not getting any sleep is a real killer. When I was talking to my Dr about my PPD she said to me 'now you know why they use sleep deprivation as a method of torture'. For my PPD I did end up on Zoloft (which is OK for breastfeeding), but I honestly think that my sessions with a counselor helped more. My PPD seemed to be more short lived (we've been stretching my sessions out farther and farther along and I'm having less to talk about each time), I hope it evens out for you fairly quickly as well. But yes, PP are right - you have to take care of yourself first. In this, you are doing the best thing for baby with your mom watching LO while you take care of yourself.

For formula, I use the regular Similac Advanced formula in the blue tub. I don't even bother to be picky and use the non-gmo, mostly cause I started with this one because I had a sample tub around and he did fine with it and I don't want to change for fear he won't do as well with another. We're very fortunate that we live in a time when formula exsists and meets nutritional requirements for our babies. My Dr said out of curiosity she looked into what they used back in the day... Something like Caro syrup and evaporated milk. Could you imagine?

Also, a side note about breastfeeding, formula, and depression. A good part of my depression stemmed from my inability to produce enough milk to breastfeed exclusively. Needing to supplement with formula was a huge blow to me. It still bothers me in an abstract way (and a financial way ) but once I let that go (my hang ups about formula), it helped my depression a lot.

Point being - don't beat yourself up about using the formula. You're just giving your depression / anxiety another weapon to attack you with. When it comes to baby, the most important thing is that baby eats.

I hope you begin to feel better soon! ❤

ciennah99

It sounds like you're doing all the right things. There are other antidepressants that help with anxiety that are safe for breast-feeding. We just stuck with the Prozac for me because we didn't want to mess with what was working. Trazadone isn't an anti anxiety med like Ativan. It's actually an antidepressant but one of the major side effects is drowsiness/sedation which is why it's used for sleep a lot. I am a clinical social worker so I know about the medications although I don't prescribe and I work with the elderly and they obviously are not breast-feeding. But I'm including a link you might find helpful that shows there are a lot of options and I'm sure your doctor will help you find the right one for you. Keep in mind something like Prozac or one of the other antidepressants will be something to help more long-term (which is important & hopefully will help you to get off the Ativan). The Ativan is short acting & helps you right away which you probably need right now. It might be possible to take the Ativan, pump and dump, and then breast-feed when it's out of your system. But of course you would need to talk to your doctor about that. I don't know for sure & since the trazodone worked for me I didn't bother to ask.
Here is the site:
https://www.postpartumprogress.com/what-psychiatric-medications-are-safe-during-breastfeeding

I think The hardest things we go through are our biggest opportunities for growth and I know you'll get through this! Keep us updated.

aj1327

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I agree that you need to take care of yourself first. Do not beat yourself up about formula. Thinking of you!

ElRuby

I want to offer you my support and thoughts. Also, the angst you may feel in the between stages of breast and formula may be creating a lot of anxiety and as pp said letting go of that may be really freeing. The right meds and a great counselor can help you pull through... I would strongly suggest not putting bfing over mental health! Formula is a gift of god and science!

HoosOnFirst

We have been on formula since two weeks in. I had trouble producing and baby didn't want to latch... And while I could have probably worked through all those things, it was giving me anxiety and depression and I decided to let it all go and move to formula. She's growing and thriving. So don't worry, if you need to give yourself a break and go to formula, either temporarily or permanently, LO will be fine!

I suggest starting with either regular Similac Advance or Enfamil. They are pretty similar. Don't overthink it! If she needs any special variety of it, it'll become apparent within a week or two.

AlwaysSunny1012

Thanks everyone for all the helpful advice and kind words.

KarasTwin

I had a similar situation to @hoodoll82, low supply, poor latch, and I got really anxious and upset and very emotional. LO is thriving and doing just fine on formula. While I wish BFing would have worked out, I try not to beat myself up about it. I'm sorry you're going through that, but you sound like a great mommy and I hope you feel better soon. Prayers and creepy internet stranger hugs to you and your family!

btm013

Ugh I am so sorry you are going through this. Anxiety is awful! I had a huge problem with this about three years ago. It truly feels like the world is crashing down around you. It felt like it came out of the blue for me too. I'm a very social person and it got so bad that I didn't want to be near anyone. I totally get why some people never want to leave their house. It's scary. I went on a low dose of Prozac and bc the panic attacks were so bad my doctor put me on klonopin around the clock for two weeks. It helped immensely and I tapered down to half a day. It got me to come down off the ledge and stopped the anxiety before it even started. I also speak to a psychologist once or twice a month. Honestly I don't really feel like I need to anymore but I consider it maintenance. It's my mental massage! When I got pregnant I wasn't on anything and the hormones triggered the anxiety again. I went on 10mg of Prozac and stayed on it. I regret going off of it in the first place and am thankful it works for me. I haven't taken any klonopin or Xanax in a year but I always have it with me just in case. You will get through this!!

AlwaysSunny1012

Again, thank you everyone. I am feeling a bit better today after the Ativan helped me sleep last night. I know I have a long road in front of me to get fully back to myself but I am feeling more hopeful. I am becoming much more at peace with possibly having to stop breastfeeding as well so I would say I am in a better place today.

janat1717

That's such good news!!! Remember that bad days will still pop up and it's ok. Have a plan in place to get through it the best you can.

ChardeeMacDennis

Thinking of you today @AlwaysSunny1012!

Internet hugs for you.

AlwaysSunny1012

Finally got an appointment to see a physiatrist tomorrow and praying she will be able to give me something that will work for the anxiety which will allow me to fall sleep and keep breastfeeding. I can dream right?

aj1327

Thinking of you and hope all goes well tomorrow!

MaliKaela

@AlwaysSunny1012 How are you doing?

AlwaysSunny1012

I saw the psychiatrist yesterday and she prescribed some very hardcore meds. I was going to take them but my husband is really concerned (he researched the medication and doesn't understand why she would give me that) so I didn't take it. I feel really confused and unsure of what to do. I have called another doctor for a second opinion but I haven't reached her yet. Just want to feel better!

KaLikeAWind

Can you call the psychiatrist and ask her why she prescribed that medication? You should be able to tell her you are confused and concerned about it after learning more about the medication.

Thinking of you and wishing you well

marinamarina

Sending you good vibes. Check out website dooce. Blogger wrote through her inpatient PPD stay

marinamarina

What meds? Why not a little lexapro? I'm guessing he gave you seroquel or abilify. You can pm me, I'm a nurse practitioner student and knowledgable

AlwaysSunny1012

It was seroquel!

ciennah99

Wow, I don't know why they wouldn't try something milder first. Good for you in getting a second opinion. I hope you feel better soon!

ElRuby

I would imagine that the severity of the depression is why the psychiatrist went with that choice. Please discuss with the prescribing doctor and she may better help you to understand. Best wishes and luck to you!

MaliKaela

ElRuby said:

I would imagine that the severity of the depression is why the psychiatrist went with that choice. Please discuss with the prescribing doctor and she may better help you to understand. Best wishes and luck to you!

Agreed. Seroquel has its uses and @AlwaysSunny1012 was describing some fairly severe symptoms. I hope you got some answers.

AlwaysSunny1012

I started taking it and just hoping it helps. I still had to take an Ativan last night because the anxiety about not sleeping was so bad. Doc said it would take a bit more time for the seroquel to kick in and do it's thing.

MaliKaela

AlwaysSunny1012 said:

I started taking it and just hoping it helps. I still had to take an Ativan last night because the anxiety about not sleeping was so bad. Doc said it would take a bit more time for the seroquel to kick in and do it's thing.

When it does you will really be getting some good sleep!

KaLikeAWind

AlwaysSunny1012 said:

I started taking it and just hoping it helps. I still had to take an Ativan last night because the anxiety about not sleeping was so bad. Doc said it would take a bit more time for the seroquel to kick in and do it's thing.

Wishing you well and some good dreams.

bee19831

Wishing you all the best , I have had anxiety for over a month and panic attacks daily now , I'm bored but I can't go to the store or anywhere people are , I want to go to a new moms group but I can't . I feel so alone with my son , my husband works 5am-8pm most days , I'm going to the doctor today cause soon I feel as if I'm going to just loose my mind

AlwaysSunny1012

^^^definitely talk to your doctor. I know it is so hard. Let me know how it goes.

MaliKaela

bee19831 said:

Wishing you all the best , I have had anxiety for over a month and panic attacks daily now , I'm bored but I can't go to the store or anywhere people are , I want to go to a new moms group but I can't . I feel so alone with my son , my husband works 5am-8pm most days , I'm going to the doctor today cause soon I feel as if I'm going to just loose my mind

Yes, keep us posted!

klkonwi

Yes thinking of all those suffering. It's sneaky - depression is.

AlwaysSunny1012

@bee19831 how did the doctor appointment go?

HayesRN13

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