Preparing for Delivery/Coming Home

PetitNightingale

Hello ladies. Slight update, I've decided on keeping the baby. It is at once complicated and simple, I realized in my heart of heart I did not have the right reasons for doing what I was doing. Time to end the pity party and grow up. So that's that. 

But I do have this question. For those of you who have other children, is it possible (realistically) to go into labor and delivery alone? I was not planning on bringing anyone with me, my family certainly would not come. I know there will be nurses there and all that but I'm wondering if I'm going to wish I had brought somebody with me. 

To me, it seems like I would not really want to be seen in that state. But then I hear stories of 25 hour labors....and I don't know. I know most of you have DHs but do you think it would be worthwhile to bring, if I can, a friend? Or can I go in alone? I also don't have a car yet (working on it) or a license (working on it) but I am assuming that there's no law saying I can't bring LO one home with me in the back of a taxi until I work that out, though between now and Nov. I might accomplish those things. 

Please and thank you for your patience and guidance. 

Bettytteb

The only issue I can see with a taxi is installing the car seat. I'm a FTM but I know that hospitals won't let you leave in a car without the car seat installed and I think it can actually take a little time to get that thing set up. 

HellsAngel22

Your whole situation has me baffled. I can not take it in.
So what happened to the people you were going to give your baby to & all the money they spent on your appointments etc? There are so many holes and I hate to call MUD but I think that's what all this is.

KatieSetler

I would highly HIGHLY recommend bringing a friend for labor. Someone you would want around when things get tough. Your support person doesn't have to be family or an SO; I was the support person for my friend a few years back. But labor can be long and emotional, and I think it would be very hard to do alone.

grapesoda1111

Bring a friend, get your license, buy a car, BEFORE Halloween. 

ETA: Make sure you will get child support from the father, put his name on the birth certificate. Tell him you are keeping the baby and he is responsible. 

dogsombrero

I just cannot with this today.

katiedhunter

dogsombrero said:

I just cannot with this today.

I'm with you. If I actually type what I want I'm gonna get banned.....

Falchas

As far as the car seat requirements, call the hospital that you are delivering at and see what they recommend.  I use to live in Boston and close to NYC, knew lots of families who did not own cars and used public transportation/taxis (you still need a car seat though).  Go check out the car seat lady.  Website has specific info on using car seats in taxis and Uber.

https://thecarseatlady.com/

And bring a friend or hire a doula.

ash413

A few weeks ago you had no friends, now you have friends and ones that would be will to be at the hospital.

How will you get this child to and from doctors appointments, or needed to go to the hospital for something?
Do you have a stable home and Job, last month you father controlled you, you had nothing, and he kicked you out.

This must be MUD

HellsAngel22

Here goes..

Your story does not add up. If your going to lie be consistent and keep on top of your lies..
You state in your other post you have:-

No place to live
No job
No car
No one to help
Nothing for the baby
No friends

My patience is running thin. Because you are posting shit & not responding.

PetitNightingale

Since my other post, the sheer amount of shit I have gotten has made me seriously re-evaluate everything. So I'm only going to say this once because I would really like to MOVE ON from this. I am really trying to be patient because I have issues with communication and I can see why I may have caused some confusion, I have made some very poor decisions and been living in pity party mode for a while now but I'm legitimately trying to get my shit together. I obviously need to stop with the absolute statements like "nobody" and "nothing"--that is likely just my perception of things through the veil of depression. 

I am living right now, with a schoolmate. I don't have NOBODY, I just don't have the people I might want. 

I went to the counseling services at my school (which I was advised to do) and they have put me in touch with several resources. Including a really nice family that I am currently working for as a nanny--thank you to whoever suggested that by the way. 

I am keeping the baby. The situation with the former adoptive parents is being dealt with. I won't go into that, that's its own thing and I feel bad enough about it. 

I am making NEW friends, when I said I had no friends I was feeling sorry for myself over the friends I have lost. 

If you think I'm MUD, whatever that means, please do not comment on my posts. Or feel free to PM me and I'll do the best I can to talk to you if you genuinely want to understand and don't just want to bash.

Thank you. I really can't deal with anymore stress in my life right now it is not good for me. And it's not good for your LOs either. Don't like, don't post. I'm a real person, with real feelings and a real desire to try and set things right. 

That's all I have to say about that. 

dogsombrero

PetitNightingale said:

Since my other post, the sheer amount of shit I have gotten has made me seriously re-evaluate everything. So I'm only going to say this once because I would really like to MOVE ON from this. I am really trying to be patient because I have issues with communication and I can see why I may have caused some confusion, I have made some very poor decisions and been living in pity party mode for a while now but I'm legitimately trying to get my shit together. I obviously need to stop with the absolute statements like "nobody" and "nothing"--that is likely just my perception of things through the veil of depression. 

I am living right now, with a schoolmate. I don't have NOBODY, I just don't have the people I might want. 

I went to the counseling services at my school (which I was advised to do) and they have put me in touch with several resources. Including a really nice family that I am currently working for as a nanny--thank you to whoever suggested that by the way. 

I am keeping the baby. The situation with the former adoptive parents is being dealt with. I won't go into that, that's its own thing and I feel bad enough about it. 

I am making NEW friends, when I said I had no friends I was feeling sorry for myself over the friends I have lost. 

If you think I'm MUD, whatever that means, please do not comment on my posts. Or feel free to PM me and I'll do the best I can to talk to you if you genuinely want to understand and don't just want to bash.

Thank you. I really can't deal with anymore stress in my life right now it is not good for me. And it's not good for your LOs either. Don't like, don't post. I'm a real person, with real feelings and a real desire to try and set things right. 

That's all I have to say about that. 

QFP

modanz1

PetitNightingale said:

Since my other post, the sheer amount of shit I have gotten has made me seriously re-evaluate everything. So I'm only going to say this once because I would really like to MOVE ON from this. I am really trying to be patient because I have issues with communication and I can see why I may have caused some confusion, I have made some very poor decisions and been living in pity party mode for a while now but I'm legitimately trying to get my shit together. I obviously need to stop with the absolute statements like "nobody" and "nothing"--that is likely just my perception of things through the veil of depression. 

I am living right now, with a schoolmate. I don't have NOBODY, I just don't have the people I might want. 

I went to the counseling services at my school (which I was advised to do) and they have put me in touch with several resources. Including a really nice family that I am currently working for as a nanny--thank you to whoever suggested that by the way. 

I am keeping the baby. The situation with the former adoptive parents is being dealt with. I won't go into that, that's its own thing and I feel bad enough about it. 

I am making NEW friends, when I said I had no friends I was feeling sorry for myself over the friends I have lost. 

If you think I'm MUD, whatever that means, please do not comment on my posts. Or feel free to PM me and I'll do the best I can to talk to you if you genuinely want to understand and don't just want to bash.

Thank you. I really can't deal with anymore stress in my life right now it is not good for me. And it's not good for your LOs either. Don't like, don't post. I'm a real person, with real feelings and a real desire to try and set things right. 

That's all I have to say about that. 

If this community is causing you that much stress I would recommend not participating in it anymore. 

PetitNightingale

I'm not planning on going anywhere but I appreciate the concern. Any further questions, feel free to ask. 

natalknitter15

I've tried to make sense of your posts over the past couple of weeks. It's like trying to coherently assemble fragments of a dream sequence - The pieces just don't fit together and it's useless to try.

Despite being "strangers," the people on this board do honestly care for one another. It seems like you're playing a game with us. I think that's what makes people upset. It's difficult that you tell us "MOVE ON" while you simultaneously ask for advice about your situation. How can people give you good advice, while ignoring the background that you have chosen to share?

dogsombrero

PetitNightingale said:

I'm not planning on going anywhere but I appreciate the concern. Any further questions, feel free to ask. 

Then you don't get to dictate responses sorry not sorry. Literally nothing you wrote on any of the various threads makes any sense or corresponds. You need to back off the internet and do some reading on parenting and birth, prepare for a kid all that jazz. The more you post the more attention you attract to this fishiness, unless that's what you are going for.

scw89

So do you have pre eclampsia now or nah?

PetitNightingale

I am not playing a game. I've been deeply touched by the advice I have received and am doing the best I can to employ it. Hopefully, with time, all of that will bear fruit. I genuinely don't see what is so confusing about what I posted, granted I was extremely emotional when I posted it and probably laid it on a bit thick--and I own up to that. But my situation is real, I'm real and I'm frustrated that everyone thinks I'm just trolling for shits and giggles. No. I would much rather not be pregnant, I would much rather not be confused about everything, I liked my life before just fine. But this is what it is. And I have to make the best of it. 

When I say move on, I just meant try to look at things going forward instead of harping on questions I've already tried many times to answer. I just want to move forward and try to be a responsible mother and there seems to be a lot to learn here, so I'll stick around, even it it is just to learn. 

I don't wish to disrupt the community any further and had I realized asking those simple questions would cause such a maelstrom I probably would not have. 

I'll get a duola if I can afford one, that's a good suggestion. 

PetitNightingale

scw89 said:

So do you have pre eclampsia now or nah?

I never said that I did and no. I was just curious which is why I asked on that other post. I saw it on HOUSE. 

Look, I don't want this. This has gone far enough, this seems like a nice place and I'm not interested in disrupting that. 

Forget I asked. 

thegingeravenger

We're picking your story apart because you're either a catfish, greatly exaggerating, or in a metric shitton of trouble. Your tone also comes across as snotty and argumentative - which I do understand. Some of us, myself included, are tough individuals who have a zero-tolerance policy on BSC/potential catfish. However, dictating who can comment on your post and snottily saying "ask me if you have any other questions" is not the way to go.

Word to the wise: refrain from ever publicly wishing you weren't pregnant anywhere, but especially on this website. There are women on this board that had difficulty conceiving as well as women that still drop in to time to time that would have been due in November had they not suffered a loss. It's just a potentially hurtful thing to throw out there.

dogsombrero

PetitNightingale said:

scw89 said:

So do you have pre eclampsia now or nah?

I never said that I did and no. I was just curious which is why I asked on that other post. I saw it on HOUSE. 

Look, I don't want this. This has gone far enough, this seems like a nice place and I'm not interested in disrupting that. 

Forget I asked. 

You did claim to have "pre eclampsia symptoms". The story it keeps changing.

dogsombrero

PetitNightingale said:

I am not playing a game. I've been deeply touched by the advice I have received and am doing the best I can to employ it. Hopefully, with time, all of that will bear fruit. I genuinely don't see what is so confusing about what I posted, granted I was extremely emotional when I posted it and probably laid it on a bit thick--and I own up to that. But my situation is real, I'm real and I'm frustrated that everyone thinks I'm just trolling for shits and giggles. No. I would much rather not be pregnant, I would much rather not be confused about everything, I liked my life before just fine. But this is what it is. And I have to make the best of it. 

When I say move on, I just meant try to look at things going forward instead of harping on questions I've already tried many times to answer. I just want to move forward and try to be a responsible mother and there seems to be a lot to learn here, so I'll stick around, even it it is just to learn. 

I don't wish to disrupt the community any further and had I realized asking those simple questions would cause such a maelstrom I probably would not have. 

I'll get a duola if I can afford one, that's a good suggestion. 

QFP

PetitNightingale

I apologize, I did not realize that and I would never wish to hurt anyone that way. I'm also not trying to be snotty, this is how I get when I'm trying not to be a whiny baby and cry. I call it my grown up tone but if it comes across that way, I need to re-evaluate that. 

Point taken all around. But I'm not a catfish. Hopefully when I've been here longer that will make itself clear. 

PetitNightingale

dogsombrero said:

scw89 said:

So do you have pre eclampsia now or nah?

I never said that I did and no. I was just curious which is why I asked on that other post. I saw it on HOUSE. 

Look, I don't want this. This has gone far enough, this seems like a nice place and I'm not interested in disrupting that. 

Forget I asked. 

You did claim to have "pre eclampsia symptoms". The story it keeps changing.

Not sure which post you're referring to. I've had some issues with super high blood pressure/issues with my lupus medication that got me on the "watch list" if you will but no, I've not actually experienced anything full blown, knock on wood.  But my question about induction and pre-eclampsia was curiosity on someone else's post. But no, right now, I'm doing well, just tired, very stressed and the usual stuff that comes with being 30 weeks. 

The story isn't changing, I'm just trying to scale back on the parts where I was being a drama queen and clarify the bits in between. Maybe I have earned this suspicion if so, so be it. 

I really don't know what else I can say, I hate that this is causing so much negativity so I'm going to scale back and just say sorry for the confusion, thank you for at the advice. 

katiedhunter

PetitNightingale said:

I would much rather not be pregnant, I would much rather not be confused about everything, I liked my life before just fine. But this is what it is. And I have to make the best of it. 

I really hope for your child's sake, since you've decided to keep LO, that you never ever repeat this to them or make them feel like you just "make the best of it". No child whether they are a mistake or not should ever feel like they ruined your life.

And I really hope your very solid in your decision to keep the LO, I've seen first hand what screwing around with potential adoptive parents is like. It's heartbreaking.

dogsombrero

PetitNightingale said:

dogsombrero said:

PetitNightingale said:

scw89 said:

So do you have pre eclampsia now or nah?

I never said that I did and no. I was just curious which is why I asked on that other post. I saw it on HOUSE. 

Look, I don't want this. This has gone far enough, this seems like a nice place and I'm not interested in disrupting that. 

Forget I asked. 

You did claim to have "pre eclampsia symptoms". The story it keeps changing.

Not sure which post you're referring to. I've had some issues with super high blood pressure/issues with my lupus medication that got me on the "watch list" if you will but no, I've not actually experienced anything full blown, knock on wood.  But my question about induction and pre-eclampsia was curiosity on someone else's post. But no, right now, I'm doing well, just tired, very stressed and the usual stuff that comes with being 30 weeks. 

The story isn't changing, I'm just trying to scale back on the parts where I was being a drama queen and clarify the bits in between. Maybe I have earned this suspicion if so, so be it. 

I really don't know what else I can say, I hate that this is causing so much negativity so I'm going to scale back and just say sorry for the confusion, thank you for at the advice. 

QFP

dogsombrero

PetitNightingale said:

I apologize, I did not realize that and I would never wish to hurt anyone that way. I'm also not trying to be snotty, this is how I get when I'm trying not to be a whiny baby and cry. I call it my grown up tone but if it comes across that way, I need to re-evaluate that. 

Point taken all around. But I'm not a catfish. Hopefully when I've been here longer that will make itself clear. 

QFP

PetitNightingale

katiedhunter said:

I would much rather not be pregnant, I would much rather not be confused about everything, I liked my life before just fine. But this is what it is. And I have to make the best of it. 

I really hope for your child's sake, since you've decided to keep LO, that you never ever repeat this to them or make them feel like you just "make the best of it". No child whether they are a mistake or not should ever feel like they ruined your life. And I really hope your very solid in your decision to keep the LO, I've seen first hand what screwing around with potential adoptive parents is like. It's heartbreaking.

My parents made it pretty clear to me I ruined their lives. I would never do that to my son. I'm very far from perfect but even I know that every child is, in their own way a blessing. As for screwing around with them, they were part of the reason it fell through as it turns out they weren't being entirely forthcoming about why they had so much difficult adopting other babies in the past but I don't want to get into that. 

I will do my best with my son. I can promise that. And it seems like you've done wonderful with yours so that seems like good advice to take. 

Lolo427

Well let's not get to the 'forget I asked ' eeyore moment OP; people on here have every right to express their frustrations as this story has been incredibly all over the place and people here are genuinely here to help and be part of a community with as little irrelevant content as possible.

Anyhow- people in cities go plenty with having LO's and taking public transportation, so you need to figure out how that happens. A PP said call the hospital- great idea. Likewise bring this concern up at your docs. That being said, if you bring a friend would they have a car that you could install the seat in??? Likewise I think there's drives and charities that give gently used still safe and inspected car seats- check the web.

As for help with labor, only my DH will be there and frankly I would prefer not as I usually handle things better on my own and don't like people interjecting when I'm trying to go to a positive mental place during hard moments (particularly personal and physical). That being said he's my world and my best friend and has every right to be there and that's the end of it.
Honestly? It's on you whether you want somewhere there or not, though with how much you seem to need support and encouragement going through these life decisions it sounds like you would benefit heavily from a support person.


Edited: cmllunty is not a word. Not even close to one really.

PetitNightingale

Thank you very much. I'll call the hospital and ask. As for support, I think it is best if I go in alone but maybe have someone on standby. 

Cook3133

Honestly the only thing I get out of ALL your post in the last 2-3 weeks is that your life seems to be very dramatic and blown up. It's almost like situations are made up to get attention. the issue is people who are really in these types of situations typically don't have this dramatic turn around a week later.

You have to realize you came into an established community. We've been together for quiet a while now and are here to support everyone. Your going to get a large variety of opinions here, the good, bad, and the ugly it's what is great about the community. With that said a lot of us read most posts and recognize each other, so it's easy to pick out when posts contradict each other from the same person.

I hope you continue with the counselor, despite whatever your real situation is your life is about to be flipped absolutely upside down when the baby gets here. Your going to need the stability and emotional support. We learn a lot of our parenting skills from our own parents. If you believe yours screwed up a ton I would get family counseling for yourself and son so you don't fall into what you were raised with.

Elyse1384

PetitNightingale said:

I am not playing a game. I've been deeply touched by the advice I have received and am doing the best I can to employ it. Hopefully, with time, all of that will bear fruit. I genuinely don't see what is so confusing about what I posted, granted I was extremely emotional when I posted it and probably laid it on a bit thick--and I own up to that. But my situation is real, I'm real and I'm frustrated that everyone thinks I'm just trolling for shits and giggles. No. I would much rather not be pregnant, I would much rather not be confused about everything, I liked my life before just fine. But this is what it is. And I have to make the best of it. 

When I say move on, I just meant try to look at things going forward instead of harping on questions I've already tried many times to answer. I just want to move forward and try to be a responsible mother and there seems to be a lot to learn here, so I'll stick around, even it it is just to learn. 

I don't wish to disrupt the community any further and had I realized asking those simple questions would cause such a maelstrom I probably would not have. 

I'll get a duola if I can afford one, that's a good suggestion. 

Your backstory has more twists and turns than an M Night Shyamalan plot which would make any reasonable person question the validity.  The Bump has seen its fair share of MUD and catfishing, so you really can't fault the group here for struggling with elements of your story.  

That said, please don't state that you wish you weren't pregnant.  My husband and I endured 3+ years of fertility treatments (including surgeries/procedures on both sides) to have DS.  I've known countless more couples trying to start a family via fertility treatment and/or adoption.  I can tell you that between my experience and those of my friends, every failed cycle, adoption that fell through and waiting period for insurance approvals/test results is soul crushing.  I genuinely feel for the prospective adoptive parents in the situation you described given what they've done for you, but it is your right and decision to keep that baby and anyone should respect that.  That said, when you make comments about wishing you weren't pregnant and that you like your life sans baby (which I find hard to believe based on what you previously stated), I imagine that mindset is what had you seriously considering adoption before.  

As a child of adoption, I beg of you to make this decision final and stick to your guns. Invest heavily in basic necessities for you and baby.  Get a car, job, license, place to live, etc.  Start stocking up on the basic needs (diapers, wipes, appropriate clothing for your area/time of year).  As PPs said, make sure you collect child support.  Look into the legal process now as you're going to be overwhelmed with a newborn so delaying educating yourself in these areas won't help matters.  

You don't NEED someone in the delivery room, but it always helps to have someone in your corner for support and encouragement.  That said, my nurses were FANTASTIC and really would have been enough had DH not been there for whatever reason (e.g. travel).  Every person is different though and needs different levels of support, so only you can truly determine what you need. 

As an aside, if you were to rethink this decision again and continue feeling as though you wish that you weren't pregnant, it really isn't fair to the adoptive parents or this baby to flip fop.  That baby needs a loving, safe home with 100% commitment from you.  

PetitNightingale

I'm going to have to grow up, is the long and short of it and I don't regret coming here because it was a wake up call, being around grown woman with kids and husbands that I'm not ready yet. And I need to get there. Things have not turned around completely, but my viewpoint has turned around pretty drastically. The anti depressants are also probably helping.

Anyway, you're right. I came here, I have to play by the rules. 

EDIT I also apologize for my comment about wishing I wasn't pregnant. I don't actually wish that, I just get down on myself because I'm really jealous of all you ladies who seem to have husbands and stable lives and will actually be decent parents. But it was the wrong thing to say. 

onebadmotha

I honestly don't understand much of the flack that @Petitnightingale has been getting. Yes, the initial post was dramatic- it sounded to me like she was going through a rough time, and may have been a bit over emotional. She remained fairly respectful, tried to answer your questions, and now seems to have taken the advice she was given- what more could you ask for? 

I've been following along, and don't understand why everyone seems to have put her under the microscope. Her story makes sense to me, and I don't see these glaring inconsistencies everyone loves to point out. And I understand maybe not wanting to go into too much detail about the situation with a bunch of semi-strangers on the internet. That doesn't make me suspicious, it makes me think she's not an idiot. Yes, her situation is changing often...thank god for that. 

Further, she (unlike many other members) responds and tries to offer helpful advice on other threads. Even if you don't believe every detail of her story, I feel like it's time to let it go and let the girl be a contributing member without belittling her at every turn. 

@Petitnightingale- To respond to your original inquiry- I'm a FTM too, so I can't offer first hand advice regarding who (if anyone) I'd want around during labor. If it were me, I think I would make my decision when the time comes. Maybe call one of your friends and let them know when you go into labor- maybe they'll be able to join if/when you decide you want company. I'm really glad to hear you are making new friends- you may want to look into mom/mom to be groups in your area as a way to meet more, and to have potential play dates when your son arrives

scw89

kayemjay2 said:

I honestly don't understand much of the flack that @Petitnightingale has been getting. Yes, the initial post was dramatic- it sounded to me like she was going through a rough time, and may have been a bit over emotional. She remained fairly respectful, tried to answer your questions, and now seems to have taken the advice she was given- what more could you ask for? 

I've been following along, and don't understand why everyone seems to have put her under the microscope. Her story makes sense to me, and I don't see these glaring inconsistencies everyone loves to point out. And I understand maybe not wanting to go into too much detail about the situation with a bunch of semi-strangers on the internet. That doesn't make me suspicious, it makes me think she's not an idiot. Yes, her situation is changing often...thank god for that. 

Further, she (unlike many other members) responds and tries to offer helpful advice on other threads. Even if you don't believe every detail of her story, I feel like it's time to let it go and let the girl be a contributing member without belittling her at every turn. 

@Petitnightingale- To respond to your original inquiry- I'm a FTM too, so I can't offer first hand advice regarding who (if anyone) I'd want around during labor. If it were me, I think I would make my decision when the time comes. Maybe call one of your friends and let them know when you go into labor- maybe they'll be able to join if/when you decide you want company. I'm really glad to hear you are making new friends- you may want to look into mom/mom to be groups in your area as a way to meet more, and to have potential play dates when your son arrives

Did someone summon the white knights?

onebadmotha

scw89 said:

I honestly don't understand much of the flack that @Petitnightingale has been getting. Yes, the initial post was dramatic- it sounded to me like she was going through a rough time, and may have been a bit over emotional. She remained fairly respectful, tried to answer your questions, and now seems to have taken the advice she was given- what more could you ask for? 

I've been following along, and don't understand why everyone seems to have put her under the microscope. Her story makes sense to me, and I don't see these glaring inconsistencies everyone loves to point out. And I understand maybe not wanting to go into too much detail about the situation with a bunch of semi-strangers on the internet. That doesn't make me suspicious, it makes me think she's not an idiot. Yes, her situation is changing often...thank god for that. 

Further, she (unlike many other members) responds and tries to offer helpful advice on other threads. Even if you don't believe every detail of her story, I feel like it's time to let it go and let the girl be a contributing member without belittling her at every turn. 

@Petitnightingale- To respond to your original inquiry- I'm a FTM too, so I can't offer first hand advice regarding who (if anyone) I'd want around during labor. If it were me, I think I would make my decision when the time comes. Maybe call one of your friends and let them know when you go into labor- maybe they'll be able to join if/when you decide you want company. I'm really glad to hear you are making new friends- you may want to look into mom/mom to be groups in your area as a way to meet more, and to have potential play dates when your son arrives

Did someone summon the white knights?

I had a take on the situation that was different than yours, and felt like I had the right to share it. So sorry. My bad. 

BlondeMomma92

kayemjay2 said:

I honestly don't understand much of the flack that @Petitnightingale has been getting. Yes, the initial post was dramatic- it sounded to me like she was going through a rough time, and may have been a bit over emotional. She remained fairly respectful, tried to answer your questions, and now seems to have taken the advice she was given- what more could you ask for? 

I've been following along, and don't understand why everyone seems to have put her under the microscope. Her story makes sense to me, and I don't see these glaring inconsistencies everyone loves to point out. And I understand maybe not wanting to go into too much detail about the situation with a bunch of semi-strangers on the internet. That doesn't make me suspicious, it makes me think she's not an idiot. Yes, her situation is changing often...thank god for that. 

Further, she (unlike many other members) responds and tries to offer helpful advice on other threads. Even if you don't believe every detail of her story, I feel like it's time to let it go and let the girl be a contributing member without belittling her at every turn. 

@Petitnightingale- To respond to your original inquiry- I'm a FTM too, so I can't offer first hand advice regarding who (if anyone) I'd want around during labor. If it were me, I think I would make my decision when the time comes. Maybe call one of your friends and let them know when you go into labor- maybe they'll be able to join if/when you decide you want company. I'm really glad to hear you are making new friends- you may want to look into mom/mom to be groups in your area as a way to meet more, and to have potential play dates when your son arrives

This I agree with you completely! It seems to me that if there are people who have problems with what's being posted, they should ignore the post then. It diffuses the situation before anything potentially over the top or not necessary can happen.

lovearoo

I don't even bother reading this person's responses anymore. I'm calling catfish. I don't believe a word he/she says!!
I asked before if this was Samantha Ashley and I got no response..... Hmmm.
Though if someone is pathetic enough to catfish it's not like they would admit it! I honestly don't think this person is even pregnant. Hell, it might even be a man!!
Not. Buying. It. Go troll somewhere else.

thegingeravenger

Previous BMBs have had serious issues stem from catfishing. I don't remember which ones off the top of my head, but they shake the entire community to the core. After talking with a few of the women that were a member of those BMBs, I have no desire to sit back and watch a potential catfish work. I also publicly went after another potential catfish in this group a few months ago so this isn't just me "attacking" a particular person.

natalknitter15

kayemjay2 said:

I had a take on the situation that was different than yours, and felt like I had the right to share it. So sorry. My bad. 

I think it's nice of you to jump in for her. I see where you're coming from to a certain degree. That being said -

I had an acquaintance once who was constantly doing mean or socially inappropriate things that turned people off. Then when her odd behavior was pointed out to her, she'd go into a dramatic routine of "You're right, I'm so horrible, I hate myself, thank you for telling me."  But then she never changed her attention-seeking/dramatic/inappropriate behaviors. It was exhausting trying to be her friend. Eventually, I gave up. I feel a similar way about the OP.

@Petitnightingale - You mentioned on another thread that you're diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and "BDP." What is BDP? I'm wondering if you meant BPD, or Borderline Personality Disorder? I feel like that could help explain some of what's happening.

PetitNightingale

lovearoo said:

I don't even bother reading this person's responses anymore. I'm calling catfish. I don't believe a word he/she says!! I asked before if this was Samantha Ashley and I got no response..... Hmmm. Though if someone is pathetic enough to catfish it's not like they would admit it! I honestly don't think this person is even pregnant. Hell, it might even be a man!! Not. Buying. It. Go troll somewhere else.

I didn't reply because I don't know who that person is. Please don't call me an "it" or a man. I appreciate you may have a difference in opinion but I find that unnecessary. 

I'm still trying to figure out how to attach photos. I'd love to post a bump picture in the proper thread.