Preparing for Delivery/Coming Home

PetitNightingale

natalknitter15 said:

kayemjay2 said:

I had a take on the situation that was different than yours, and felt like I had the right to share it. So sorry. My bad. 

I think it's nice of you to jump in for her. I see where you're coming from to a certain degree. That being said -

I had an acquaintance once who was constantly doing mean or socially inappropriate things that turned people off. Then when her odd behavior was pointed out to her, she'd go into a dramatic routine of "You're right, I'm so horrible, I hate myself, thank you for telling me."  But then she never changed her attention-seeking/dramatic/inappropriate behaviors. It was exhausting trying to be her friend. Eventually, I gave up. I feel a similar way about the OP.

@Petitnightingale - You mentioned on another thread that you're diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and "BDP." What is BDP? I'm wondering if you meant BPD, or Borderline Personality Disorder? I feel like that could help explain some of what's happening.

 Yes. I'm open about it but I want to be clear about this: there are many different kinds and I'm not like your friend. Mean and inappropriate is not my MO. Before getting pregnant I was perfectly functional. And I'm not a complete nutter, I keep my real life stable, I just struggle immensely with communication. I don't want pity, which is why I am willing to take the criticism. I'm trying to grow up and if I am coming across wrong, I want to do better. That's as genuine as I can put it. About your former friend, I don't know her but she sounds more like a HPD than a BPD. I got really into this stuff in college and I wasn't diagnosed with anything until after getting pregnant and my little stint in May where I went completely off the deep end for a week. 

I'm sorry you had that experience. 

dogsombrero

thegingeravenger said:

Previous BMBs have had serious issues stem from catfishing. I don't remember which ones off the top of my head, but they shake the entire community to the core. After talking with a few of the women that were a member of those BMBs, I have no desire to sit back and watch a potential catfish work. I also publicly went after another potential catfish in this group a few months ago so this isn't just me "attacking" a particular person.

This is why catfishing bothers me. We had a mod on my previous board before the bump format change who convinced people to donate for a memorial for a late loss mom, then stole the money and bought herself a pottery barn recliner. This story makes little sense, continues to change, and reeks of bs. If the WKs on this thread saw that they may read into these plot holes, twists and general nonsense more.

Elyse1384

scw89 said:

Did someone summon the white knights?

The only thing I find more confusing than OP's backstory (and yet still I offer advice...) are the white knights.  OP admits her backstory (from an older thread) is confusing and was presented in dramatic fashion.  OP also concedes she has received great advice from many of the members here that are now being accused of being harsh for finding too many inconsistencies while STILL offering valuable input.  You just can't win no matter what.

dogsombrero

PetitNightingale said:

lovearoo said:

I don't even bother reading this person's responses anymore. I'm calling catfish. I don't believe a word he/she says!!
I asked before if this was Samantha Ashley and I got no response..... Hmmm.
Though if someone is pathetic enough to catfish it's not like they would admit it! I honestly don't think this person is even pregnant. Hell, it might even be a man!!
Not. Buying. It. Go troll somewhere else.

I didn't reply because I don't know who that person is. Please don't call me an "it" or a man. I appreciate you may have a difference in opinion but I find that unnecessary. 

I'm still trying to figure out how to attach photos. I'd love to post a bump picture in the proper thread. 

I believe July 14 had a catfish that was posting another persons bump pics as well. It's just sick.

dogsombrero

PetitNightingale said:

natalknitter15 said:

kayemjay2 said:

I had a take on the situation that was different than yours, and felt like I had the right to share it. So sorry. My bad. 

I think it's nice of you to jump in for her. I see where you're coming from to a certain degree. That being said -

I had an acquaintance once who was constantly doing mean or socially inappropriate things that turned people off. Then when her odd behavior was pointed out to her, she'd go into a dramatic routine of "You're right, I'm so horrible, I hate myself, thank you for telling me."  But then she never changed her attention-seeking/dramatic/inappropriate behaviors. It was exhausting trying to be her friend. Eventually, I gave up. I feel a similar way about the OP.

@Petitnightingale - You mentioned on another thread that you're diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and "BDP." What is BDP? I'm wondering if you meant BPD, or Borderline Personality Disorder? I feel like that could help explain some of what's happening.

 Yes. I'm open about it but I want to be clear about this: there are many different kinds and I'm not like your friend. Mean and inappropriate is not my MO. Before getting pregnant I was perfectly functional. And I'm not a complete nutter, I keep my real life stable, I just struggle immensely with communication. I don't want pity, which is why I am willing to take the criticism. I'm trying to grow up and if I am coming across wrong, I want to do better. That's as genuine as I can put it. About your former friend, I don't know her but she sounds more like a HPD than a BPD. I got really into this stuff in college and I wasn't diagnosed with anything until after getting pregnant and my little stint in May where I went completely off the deep end for a week. 

I'm sorry you had that experience. 

QFP

PetitNightingale

I don't see it as winning or losing. I concede where I feel I have been wrong and I defend where I feel I have been misunderstood. White knighting is a term that was invented my misogynist men, by the way. Maybe we shouldn't be using it.

And she was just presenting her opinion. 

PetitNightingale

dogsombrero said:

lovearoo said:

I don't even bother reading this person's responses anymore. I'm calling catfish. I don't believe a word he/she says!! I asked before if this was Samantha Ashley and I got no response..... Hmmm. Though if someone is pathetic enough to catfish it's not like they would admit it! I honestly don't think this person is even pregnant. Hell, it might even be a man!! Not. Buying. It. Go troll somewhere else.

I didn't reply because I don't know who that person is. Please don't call me an "it" or a man. I appreciate you may have a difference in opinion but I find that unnecessary. 

I'm still trying to figure out how to attach photos. I'd love to post a bump picture in the proper thread. 

I believe July 14 had a catfish that was posting another persons bump pics as well. It's just sick.

I'm not going to be doing that. I have my own, it's little, but it's mine. There will be hospital pictures of LO, just because that's something I want to share and be a part of this community in. 

You obviously think I'm full of shit. So I don't know if I want to continue trying to convince you otherwise. I think all I can do is try to carry on here and see what comes of it.

dogsombrero

PetitNightingale said:

I don't see it as winning or losing. I concede where I feel I have been wrong and I defend where I feel I have been misunderstood. White knighting is a term that was invented my misogynist men, by the way. Maybe we shouldn't be using it.

And she was just presenting her opinion. 

QFP

onebadmotha

Admittedly, I was not aware of other BMB's issue with catfishing, and I agree that is terrible. However, I would rather make the mistake of being decent to a catfish rather than being a jerk to a pregnant 22 year old who is going through a hard time and just wants advice. No one is asking for money or telling you you won the Nigerian lotto. 

dogsombrero

PetitNightingale said:

dogsombrero said:

PetitNightingale said:

lovearoo said:

I don't even bother reading this person's responses anymore. I'm calling catfish. I don't believe a word he/she says!!
I asked before if this was Samantha Ashley and I got no response..... Hmmm.
Though if someone is pathetic enough to catfish it's not like they would admit it! I honestly don't think this person is even pregnant. Hell, it might even be a man!!
Not. Buying. It. Go troll somewhere else.

I didn't reply because I don't know who that person is. Please don't call me an "it" or a man. I appreciate you may have a difference in opinion but I find that unnecessary. 

I'm still trying to figure out how to attach photos. I'd love to post a bump picture in the proper thread. 

I believe July 14 had a catfish that was posting another persons bump pics as well. It's just sick.

I'm not going to be doing that. I have my own, it's little, but it's mine. There will be hospital pictures of LO, just because that's something I want to share and be a part of this community in. 

You obviously think I'm full of shit. So I don't know if I want to continue trying to convince you otherwise. I think all I can do is try to carry on here and see what comes of it.

QFP

dogsombrero

PetitNightingale said:

dogsombrero said:

PetitNightingale said:

lovearoo said:

I don't even bother reading this person's responses anymore. I'm calling catfish. I don't believe a word he/she says!!
I asked before if this was Samantha Ashley and I got no response..... Hmmm.
Though if someone is pathetic enough to catfish it's not like they would admit it! I honestly don't think this person is even pregnant. Hell, it might even be a man!!
Not. Buying. It. Go troll somewhere else.

I didn't reply because I don't know who that person is. Please don't call me an "it" or a man. I appreciate you may have a difference in opinion but I find that unnecessary. 

I'm still trying to figure out how to attach photos. I'd love to post a bump picture in the proper thread. 

I believe July 14 had a catfish that was posting another persons bump pics as well. It's just sick.

I'm not going to be doing that. I have my own, it's little, but it's mine. There will be hospital pictures of LO, just because that's something I want to share and be a part of this community in. 

You obviously think I'm full of shit. So I don't know if I want to continue trying to convince you otherwise. I think all I can do is try to carry on here and see what comes of it.

----QBF----
We can find if a pic is legit. Please don't steal someone else's child's photos. The board with the catfish using a person in Swedens photos were able to let the mother know the catfisher was stealing photos of herself and her newborn. She chose not to prosecute but if someone did that to my child I certainly would have.

PetitNightingale

What in holy hell have I done so vile to make you think I would steal pictures of someone else's baby? Gabriel is MINE, God knows I went through enough for him. 

I would never do such a thing. 

Lolo427

@PetitNightingale
Because as PPs have tried to explain it has happened here before from women who likewise have had veryyyyyy dramatic filled stories suffering through various ailments and issues. Your story whether true or not is very confusing and convoluted; not to Mention constantly changing. Despite all this and having a very abrupt, arms length response from the community you still come seeking advice and encouragement. Naturally the response isn't going to be all rainbows and butterflies. We all have our own personal stuff we're here for as well, so to be dragged through the mud for this can get exhausting.

PetitNightingale

I am not dragging anyone anywhere and don't plan to. But I cannot help but take that a little personally, when I am freaking out about being a mother, being accused of being in league with those nutters who steal baby pictures. I'm trying not to bristle. 

Patience and time is all I can do. I try to be encouraging on other people's posts, though I have next to no practical advice, I think everyone on some level is here for support and I have a lot of respect for that and don't want to detract from it at all. 

MoonUnitNugget

Wait if memory serves me correctly, didn't a troll post a stolen photo of an Internet pic of their bump early on in n15?! You could google pregnancy bumps or something and it was the first or second image on the page. Maybe they had on a blue shirt?!

Lolo427

@MoonUnitNugget that's right!! Wasn't it a blue announcement bump photo?

MoonUnitNugget

Lolo427 said:

@MoonUnitNugget that's right!! Wasn't it a blue announcement bump photo?

Maybe that was it! I swear there was something posted here awhile back.

Elyse1384

kayemjay2 said:

Admittedly, I was not aware of other BMB's issue with catfishing, and I agree that is terrible. However, I would rather make the mistake of being decent to a catfish rather than being a jerk to a pregnant 22 year old who is going through a hard time and just wants advice. No one is asking for money or telling you you won the Nigerian lotto. 

But what you're falling to consider is that OP has (by her own admission) received great advice from the members here.  The members you are accusing of not being delicate enough when they've already given advice.  Go back and read the original intro thread carefully and you'll see the same members you're referencing here are those who participate consistently, gave her solid advice and exhibited a great deal of patience throughout the inconsistencies/lack of clarity. 

MoonUnitNugget said:

@MoonUnitNugget that's right!! Wasn't it a blue announcement bump photo?

Maybe that was it! I swear there was something posted here awhile back.

Yes! I remember this as well!

Cook3133

MoonUnitNugget said:

Lolo427 said:

@MoonUnitNugget that's right!! Wasn't it a blue announcement bump photo?

Maybe that was it! I swear there was something posted here awhile back.

YES!! It was a gender announcement photo, I remember because I found the link for the original blog post they got it from and posted it. It was a pic of a bump that represented the B in Boy.

Here is what makes it sound catfishie (which I never even knew that phrase until recently, because it is happening a lot in social media) If a new member comes into the community and gets offended they tend to lay low for a while, not post a ton and make new threads.

onebadmotha

Elyse1384 said:

kayemjay2 said:

Admittedly, I was not aware of other BMB's issue with catfishing, and I agree that is terrible. However, I would rather make the mistake of being decent to a catfish rather than being a jerk to a pregnant 22 year old who is going through a hard time and just wants advice. No one is asking for money or telling you you won the Nigerian lotto. 

But what you're falling to consider is that OP has (by her own admission) received great advice from the members here.  The members you are accusing of not being delicate enough when they've already given advice.  Go back and read the original intro thread carefully and you'll see the same members you're referencing here are those who participate consistently, gave her solid advice and exhibited a great deal of patience throughout the inconsistencies/lack of clarity. 

------------------

I agree that she was given a great deal of solid advice in her original thread. It just seems that, since then, she can't post anything without getting the third degree. I felt it was uncalled for, which is the only reason I said anything. I appreciate the regular contributors and great advice and experience they have, I did not mean to belittle that in any way. 

PetitNightingale

It's my nature to seek approval. Always has been, I am very used to being Miss Congeniality, if you will so when I started to get things together I was excited to come back here and share that. I like to be liked, I like positive energy and I'm admittedly, very sensitive to attacks on my character. All are things I aspire to work on. I can't speak for the motivations of catfish, I don't have that much experience with social media. I have a FB, no twitter and I think Instagram is really quite dumb.

You won't be able to find pictures of my LO or hospital photos in google when the time comes. 

Doing the right thing with this baby is important to me. That's why I'm here. That's the only reason I'm here. Anything that can help me do that I can take.  

dogsombrero

PetitNightingale said:

What in holy hell have I done so vile to make you think I would steal pictures of someone else's baby? Gabriel is MINE, God knows I went through enough for him. 

I would never do such a thing. 

PetitNightingale said:

I am not dragging anyone anywhere and don't plan to. But I cannot help but take that a little personally, when I am freaking out about being a mother, being accused of being in league with those nutters who steal baby pictures. I'm trying not to bristle. 

Patience and time is all I can do. I try to be encouraging on other people's posts, though I have next to no practical advice, I think everyone on some level is here for support and I have a lot of respect for that and don't want to detract from it at all. 

QFP
Also who in the US uses the term "nutters" that's a Brit thing. I'm an east coaster as OP claims to be and I've never heard anyone use that as slang.

PetitNightingale

I live in Maryland. Right near Mary Our Queen. Went to school in DC, born in VA. I'm very American, even if my parents aren't.  I'm currently binge watching Horrible Histories on the BBC. It's great fun. Though if you want to read that much into me having a favorite British slang word I can't stop you. 

dogsombrero

PetitNightingale said:

I live in Maryland. Right near Mary Our Queen. Went to school in DC, born in VA. I'm very American, even if my parents aren't.  I'm currently binge watching Horrible Histories on the BBC. It's great fun. Though if you want to read that much into me having a favorite British slang word I can't stop you. 

QFP

BlondeMomma92

i know plenty of people who have parents or another family member that weren't born in the US so they've picked up slang words from where their family members originated. I hear plenty of slang from other countries from my friends who have returned from studying abroad. This is starting to get a little ridiculous and repetitive don't ya think?  

dogsombrero

PetitNightingale said:

I live in Maryland. Right near Mary Our Queen. Went to school in DC, born in VA. I'm very American, even if my parents aren't.  I'm currently binge watching Horrible Histories on the BBC. It's great fun. Though if you want to read that much into me having a favorite British slang word I can't stop you. 

I'm from MD as this reeks of bull.

PetitNightingale

Really, it does? I lived in Roland Park.  Dated a kid from Gilman for six years. Went to Park School for elementary, switched to school in DC for HS. Born in Richmond. I went crab picking just last week, and I use the word hun. I don't know what else you want from me, I have tried to be patient but I'm losing that patience. I have been through hell this year, you are't required to believe that but I am done defending myself when I've apologized and tried to explain I struggle to communicate 100+ times. If you were actually interested in the truth I'd say please message me and I'll tell you whatever you like, including personal details that would make it painfully obvious, with a simple google search, who I am and where I'm from. 

But I don't think this is about the truth anymore, at least not for everyone. It seem almost like a witch hunt. 

kmd91

Now, by no means am I saying I totally believe the story that's been spun over the past couple weeks or however long it's been. But I wouldn't really count the use of British slang to be evidence of a fake. Just because I have seen a number of Americans, generally high school to college aged, who will pick up some British slang whether it be from TV or encounters with Internet friends or what have you. Among certain groups it seems to be one of those "cool" things, like it makes them cultured or something? I dunno.

I feel like there probably is some truth here to this story, but it's been seriously dramatized to the point where it's hard to tell what the actual truth is versus the things thrown in for dramatic flare.

PetitNightingale

kmd91 said:

Now, by no means am I saying I totally believe the story that's been spun over the past couple weeks or however long it's been. But I wouldn't really count the use of British slang to be evidence of a fake. Just because I have seen a number of Americans, generally high school to college aged, who will pick up some British slang whether it be from TV or encounters with Internet friends or what have you. Among certain groups it seems to be one of those "cool" things, like it makes them cultured or something? I dunno. I feel like there probably is some truth here to this story, but it's been seriously dramatized to the point where it's hard to tell what the actual truth is versus the things thrown in for dramatic flare.

I'll give you this. I have a horrible habit of being dramatic when I'm upset and I need to stay away from the internet in general when I'm feeling, for lack of a better word, hysterical. But I'm not a liar, or a catfish, or a British person and I'm just trying to get some decent advice about not fucking this kid up so it doesn't end up in my shoes in 22 years. 

    I want to do this properly. All I want is a chance to do that and be part of this community--if I have ground to make up, fine. But hopefully I'll be given the chance to do that. 

dogsombrero

PetitNightingale said:

Really, it does? I lived in Roland Park.  Dated a kid from Gilman for six years. Went to Park School for elementary, switched to school in DC for HS. Born in Richmond. I went crab picking just last week, and I use the word hun. I don't know what else you want from me, I have tried to be patient but I'm losing that patience. I have been through hell this year, you are't required to believe that but I am done defending myself when I've apologized and tried to explain I struggle to communicate 100+ times. If you were actually interested in the truth I'd say please message me and I'll tell you whatever you like, including personal details that would make it painfully obvious, with a simple google search, who I am and where I'm from. 

But I don't think this is about the truth anymore, at least not for everyone. It seem almost like a witch hunt. 

QFP

Cook3133

If you need a lot of help your not going to get it from a bunch of random women on the Internet. Opinions are way to all over the place to be consistent enough to help you. You need professional guidance, someone you can see every week for a year or two, this is what it takes to make a real change in your life, serious time and effort.

If your not cat fishing stop feeding into the threads

dogsombrero

PetitNightingale said:

It's my nature to seek approval. Always has been, I am very used to being Miss Congeniality, if you will so when I started to get things together I was excited to come back here and share that. I like to be liked, I like positive energy and I'm admittedly, very sensitive to attacks on my character. All are things I aspire to work on. I can't speak for the motivations of catfish, I don't have that much experience with social media. I have a FB, no twitter and I think Instagram is really quite dumb.

You won't be able to find pictures of my LO or hospital photos in google when the time comes. 

Doing the right thing with this baby is important to me. That's why I'm here. That's the only reason I'm here. Anything that can help me do that I can take.  

QFP

katiedhunter

K this is the last time I'm gonna write on this thread (hopefully). K you wanna move on. Then pull up your big girl panties, stop beating around the fucking bush when you answer people's questions, that you said were more than welcome. Stop the pitty party. You've said your keeping the baby. Get your shit together, get your shit straight. We are a close knit community here and we don't like being screwed around with. I'm sorry to be brash but there are people on here that have real problems. Like trying to keep babies in that already wanna make an appearance. Actual GD, and Pre-E. Don't make it seem like you've got it unless you do. If you genuinely have health concerns go to your doctor. We get it you've had a rough fucking go around a lot of us have in many different ways. Just be truthful, be supportive and the regulars here will start to see that hopefully.

PetitNightingale

Couldn't have said it better myself. 

KatieSetler

I just have a completely unrelated question-- what do MUD and QFP mean?

dogsombrero

KatieSetler said:

I just have a completely unrelated question-- what do MUD and QFP mean?

Made up drama
Quote for proof

KatieSetler

dogsombrero said:

KatieSetler said:

I just have a completely unrelated question-- what do MUD and QFP mean?

Made up drama
Quote for proof

Thanks! I thought QFP was "Quit fucking posting," for some reason, and was thinking that damn! You girls didn't take shit! Hahaha

Cook3133

KatieSetler said:

dogsombrero said:

KatieSetler said:

I just have a completely unrelated question-- what do MUD and QFP mean?

Made up drama
Quote for proof

Thanks! I thought QFP was "Quit fucking posting," for some reason, and was thinking that damn! You girls didn't take shit! Hahaha

OMG I am so laughing my ass ofF on what you thought QFP meant, it took me a minuet to figure it out myself but I never thought of that on, oh wow thanks for that so glad no one was around to see me do that...... I do like your thought on it better though =D> )

grapesoda1111

Cook3133 said:

I just have a completely unrelated question-- what do MUD and QFP mean?

Made up drama Quote for proof

Thanks! I thought QFP was "Quit fucking posting," for some reason, and was thinking that damn! You girls didn't take shit! Hahaha

OMG I am so laughing my ass ofF on what you thought QFP meant, it took me a minuet to figure it out myself but I never thought of that on, oh wow thanks for that so glad no one was around to see me do that...... I do like your thought on it better though =D> )

I thought it meant that too! HA.

lyankowi

grapesoda1111 said:

Cook3133 said:

KatieSetler said:

dogsombrero said:

KatieSetler said:

I just have a completely unrelated question-- what do MUD and QFP mean?

Made up drama
Quote for proof

Thanks! I thought QFP was "Quit fucking posting," for some reason, and was thinking that damn! You girls didn't take shit! Hahaha

OMG I am so laughing my ass ofF on what you thought QFP meant, it took me a minuet to figure it out myself but I never thought of that on, oh wow thanks for that so glad no one was around to see me do that...... I do like your thought on it better though =D> )

I thought it meant that too! HA.

Yep thought it meant "quit fucking posting" too, now I'm smiling