Sex.. bleh. — The Bump
January 2016 Moms

Sex.. bleh.

I thought the 2nd trimester was supposed to bring more sex... not for me! I could care less. No interest. Nothing. Not to mention if I do go for it, it's like my vaginas forgot how to work... help! Please tell me I'm not the only one feeling this way. I feel bad for my hubby. We have twins on the way, and he just got back from a deployment. I thought for sure we'd take advantage of being kid free and spice things up! Any suggestions, supplements, anything???

Re: Sex.. bleh.

  • I think that everyone is different, so, you shouldn't compare yourself to what is supposed to be typical at this point, then feel bad if that's not true for you. I second the lube. Sometimes things feel weird or different in pregnancy, and lube can help. I say go for the sex anyways, even if you think you aren't feeling it. It might take a couple of times, but, I think it's true that if you make sex a regular thing, that you will want it more. If your sex life isn't regular, then it might not appeal to you as much.

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • Ya I feel exactly the same way as you. I feel horrible for hubs. Not only am not interested but it's kind of a turn off :( I've tried a handful of times since we've been pregnant and it's never been great, I'm super bummed and sorta stressed that I won't really 'want' it all while I'm pregnant.
  • Glad to hear I'm not alone after reading posts and books telling me this is when my libido is kicking back into high gear. Love my very understanding husband though!
  • First trimester I wanted it ALL the time. I swear I felt like a teenage boy where just the slightest breeze and I was ready! Slowly declined and now I feel so
    Discusting that the thought completely turns me off :(
    Thank th Lord for a loving understanding hubs that will just lay with me instead.

    and I second what these ladies have said, lube is your friend
  • I hear you loud and clear. Same here, but like PPs said, it's important to keep trying, at least in my marriage. And for those FTMs, I don't know if it was just me or not, but my libido struggled while I was nursing. And I nursed my first for a year. So, def important to keep trying and give DH a bj now and then, LOL.


  • BJ makes me want to vomit, and not just like a little, like full out gonna happen, and I told hubs that but still try regular sex when I can bring myself to.
  • Yup. Lube! Kama sutra brand makes one we really like, I'm not sure if it's safe for pregnancy though. And even if you aren't feeling it, give it a go anyway. You might be really turned on once things get going! Plus, once babies get here sexy time will be limited so take advantage now!
  • Thanks for bringing this up. My issue is i'm feeling soooo sensitive down there. It feels as if i already did it 10 times today. So we tend to fool around but have less intercourse.
  • Compleat lay understand! I haven't been in the mood for sex at all. And when I was it just hurt too bad so I have been to scared to do it anymore. My poor husband =\
  • I'm also expecting twins and I already feel so huge and uncomfortable....I hear you!
  • Perfectly understandable. I'm not interested, and when we do, do it, it's uncomfortable. I asked my midwife who said it was completely normal. And it doesn't help that my cervix, placenta, and uterus are all in not"normal" places so things can get uncomfortable fast.
    ACruz2011 proudly expecting Baby Cruz #2 in January 2016!
  • You're definitely not alone. We went pretty much my entire first pregnancy without sex, whatsoever. I had no interest. After the baby, it took a while... apparently not too long considering the kids will be 13 months apart to the day if I make it to my due date. But poor boyfriend is miserable. Once again, I have no interest. I don't feel good about how I look, I'm exhausted, and in all honesty it's just super uncomfortable no matter what position. My OB laughed and told boyfriend that if I'm not comfortable, he ain't gettin' any. Poor guy.
  • Glad to hear I'm not alone.. I couldn't be less interested and don't particularly even want to be touched. He was weird about it during the first trimester and i think that killed a little of my confidence. He says i look great but now she's laying on my cervix so it hurts anyway. I do use lube when it does happen bc my body doesn't respond with any kind of interest either. Poor DH.
  • With my first it was great, my husband was even looking forward to me being pregnant because of all the good sex. Unfortunately it hasn't gone that way this to time, I don't have any interest and am always worried it's going to hurt. I do try to make sure we do it atleast once or twice a week, but it's just not the same.
  • I'm in the same boat!
  • BabyRut2015BabyRut2015 member
    edited August 2015
    I don't even know if I'm interested less....I just don't feel like it even if I'm horny.... like straight tmi-- I'd rather fool around, just with hands, get off, get him off and be done with it. Whatever is fast lol. We had sex today and it was a quickie....

    We definitely have sex less now that I'm preggo, not a ton less, but definitely less. I don't need lube....but some (most) positions aside from missionary are kinda I'm not really sure what's in our future when this belly gets bigger haha.
  • I totally thought I would have an increased sex drive too!  It hasn't happened.  And now... my freaking back hurts so much I can't even bare to have sex... :-(
  • jezygal said:

    With my first it was great, my husband was even looking forward to me being pregnant because of all the good sex. Unfortunately it hasn't gone that way this to time, I don't have any interest and am always worried it's going to hurt. I do try to make sure we do it atleast once or twice a week, but it's just not the same.

    That's me!! I am so uncomfortable and I try but am disappointed every time...
  • My doctor told me last week at my anatomy scan that I'm on pelvic rest for a month because of the location of my placenta (anterior). I hope I'm still in the mood in 3 weeks.
  • enkbenkb member
    Yep, you're not alone. I like it while we're doing it, but I still never want to. I'm also getting big enough when I look down and see my belly it totally weirds me out and kills the mood. I must havsome sort of repressed idea that pregnant women can't be sexy and its doing a number on me. Big bummer but I do power thru at least once a week and am always glad I have afterwards.
  • Same boat - never in the mood, uncomfortable during, but glad we did afterward. Such an annoying mix. What brands of lube are you all using? The one we've been using leaves a burning sensation and makes me want to try even less.
    Me: 30 DH: 31
    Married: 2012
    BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016 <3 | BFP #3 May 2017, MC July 2017 | BFP #4 Jan 2018, MC Feb 2018 | BFP #5 July 2018, fingers crossed
  • I'm in the same boat! A few days ago we had sex and it hurt the whole time. The next day it felt like I had a UTI. The pain was only on my urethra because when I took the azos the pain would go away temporarily. I went to the dr and it's not a UTI but it took a week for the burning to stop without the azos. I don't know what the hell this is but it makes sex impossible. I'm really sensitive so lube is something I've always avoided. Now it's recommended that I use it. If anyone either has an idea of what caused the burning or knows of a super gentle lube, I'd appreciate it!
  • First of all, check out Passion Parties online. I used to be a consultant a while back. They have a lot of products that can spice up the bedroom, for both you and your partner. I haven't had much of a libido lately either. Hubby usually gives me a little massage first, then an "all over" massage and that usually puts me in mood. Try wearing some silk undies or a cute and comfortable teddy, it will help you to feel more sexy about yourself.
  • Here is an excellent lube:
    It's an FDA approved medical device, so it's safe and non irritating.

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Gingermom15Gingermom15 member
    edited August 2015
    Lurking from D15.
    I had the issue of pain during sex and that made me cringe at the thought of it. We went a few weeks without because it was so painful and afterwards was completely miserable. It felt like we had used water as lube and I would swell after. Turns out I was sensitive to every lube we tried and, believe me, we tried tons. The combo of my hormones, extra blood flow and the chemicals in the lube and something in all natural kinds we used just didn't work. I talked to my OB and she recommended olive oil as its one ingredient and all natural. I know it sounds weird, but it only took a few drops and we couldn't smell it. It was no different than using the regular, store bought kind and it wasn't messy at all. We found if we took it really easy and used the oil it made a world of difference. I don't swell after, either, anymore.
    And if it makes anyone feel better, my libido didn't start picking up until last week. I am 25 weeks today.

    ETA since this thread is already TMI, I want to add the the only comfortable position we have found was me on top facing away from him. On a good day with my back, I can handle bending over and laying on pillows. Our normal go-to positions were no longer good for me. We bought a positions book and are getting creative.
  • I'm the exact same way OP! I can't be on top or it feels like my belly is being jabbed at, can't do the "spooning" position bc my back starts hurting, missionary and he gets nervous he'll fall on me and he thinks I'm not attracted to him anymore
  • Not interested, although it's REALLY enjoyable when it happens!!

    My beef is hubs hasn't seemed interested since we found out. Anyone else?
  • My husband hasn't been interested either since my belly really popped. Hoping he'll get over it soon, it's pretty depressing.
  • While I feel bad for both of us, I'm glad it's not just me @staahci810. Got even more bummed when no one commented!!!
  • For sensitive ladies try Sliquid.  Its glycerin and paraben free.

  • My issue lately is when I'm actually in the mood, my husband is at work. When he comes home and we finally get our kids to bed, I have zero interest, and all I want to do is sleep. Not only that I feel so down about myself that I can't get the energy up to have sex. :(
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • @SummerFall03 Agreed, I find I'm more in the mood midday, which doesn't help him since he's at work, lol. But starting tomorrow I'll be back at work for the fall semester too, so it will then help nobody ;)

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Update on my earlier post, I did in fact have a UTI. The dip stick was negative but the culture was positive. That's one mystery solved.
  • Today is DH's birthday and I'm pretty sure he'll be "expecting" sex later... I hate that I'm really not looking forward to it...
  • @dc072175 my hubs is almost never in the mood and it really kills me. I'm barley in the mood anymore due to feeling huge and my belly feels tight and heavy, so when I am in the mood it's like "come on DH. Get with the program".

    As for sex. I'm the one who wants it. Mostly during the day when DH is at work, like PP's have said.
    The only positions we do are missionary which I feel like he's crushing me. Spooning, which it doesn't even feel satisfying to me that way. If I'm on top, but I feel like DH doesn't like it cause my belly is all up in his space. And doggy. I love doggy, I put pillows under my belly and DH doesn't have to feel weird cause he can't see my belly, but tmi, DH never makes sex last in that position.

    So our sex life is pretty much gone.
    A few reasons I want baby to be here Already, and a sex life with DH is one of those.
  • Lol I thought I was the only one who really doesn't have much interest anymore.... That was neeeeever a problem for us and now it's just... Blah. It's uncomfortable. I feel like I'm ripping down there. It makes my boobs hurt. And my muscles in my lower abd feel like they're ripping. It's just not fun at all. Lol
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