Baby shower gifts

Annascr1

This may be a strange question, but I'm pretty shy and a tad awkward. I really don't want to open gifts at the baby shower infront of people. Is this considered rude? I would send a really nice personalized thank you note. I just hate the idea of thirty people staring at me while I open and graciously thank them for the gifts. ( sorry if this has already been asked but I didn't see it )

SummerFall03

I am the same and I still opened my presents in front of everyone. People like seeing what you got, and celebrating the baby with you. That's the whole point of the shower isn't it?

If you are really that uncomfortable with it, don't have a shower. I don't mean that to be rude at all, I'm just saying if it's something you really don't want to do, then you shouldn't have to.

bbiutmcph

Annascr1 said:

This may be a strange question, but I'm pretty shy and a tad awkward. I really don't want to open gifts at the baby shower infront of people. Is this considered rude? I would send a really nice personalized thank you note. I just hate the idea of thirty people staring at me while I open and graciously thank them for the gifts. ( sorry if this has already been asked but I didn't see it )

Yes it's rude to not open the gifts at a gift giving event like a shower.  People want to see the reaction for the gift they brought you and by not opening them it gives the impression you don't care about the time and money they spend just that you wanted all the gifts.  To be honest most people do mingle among themselves during this time and they aren't all directly staring at you.  If you are too uncomfortable I would decline the shower.  

SouthernCharmedLife

For what it's worth, you should send a really nice personalized thank you note even opening the gifts in front of your guests, so that does not excuse you.

Since it is a gift giving event, you should open the gifts at the shower.

Knottie1433440300

I know a few people who put a note in the invite saying to save some trees and leave the gifts unwrapped, and they displayed all the gifts on the table and she didn't have to open them. Another option to consider

PrimRoseMama

Annascr1 said:

This may be a strange question, but I'm pretty shy and a tad awkward. I really don't want to open gifts at the baby shower infront of people. Is this considered rude? I would send a really nice personalized thank you note. I just hate the idea of thirty people staring at me while I open and graciously thank them for the gifts. ( sorry if this has already been asked but I didn't see it )

Yes, it's rude. Folks like to see you open the gifts they spent time & money on.

You can have cake while you open gifts. Folks will talk & pass around the gifts. The whole point of the shower is to coo over the gifts & see your enjoyment as you open them.

Folks could have mailed their gifts & not spend 2 hours at a party making small talk.

PrimRoseMama

Knottie1433440300 said:

I know a few people who put a note in the invite saying to save some trees and leave the gifts unwrapped, and they displayed all the gifts on the table and she didn't have to open them. Another option to consider

Yikes! Tacky! You shouldn't tell folks what to get you, how to spend their money or how they should present the gift. It's at the guests' discretion if they want to be environmentally conscious.

MyCousinVinny

Knottie1433440300 said:

I know a few people who put a note in the invite saying to save some trees and leave the gifts unwrapped, and they displayed all the gifts on the table and she didn't have to open them. Another option to consider

Yeah, this is a really bad idea.  It's not polite to dictate what guests are to do with the gift they purchased for you.

I echo PP's comments that if it really makes you uncomfortable, you have the option to decline the shower.

Knottie1433440300

I think you have to know your audience and who you invite to your baby shower. Everyone at the shower I mentioned was very environmentally aware and thought this was a genius idea. Let's be honest, showers in general are tacky. It's always a "bring my baby and me lots of presents!" event regardless of how you phrase it! To the original poster, you know your friends and family best, so do what you are most comfortable with. If your friends find your shower "tacky" maybe they shouldn't have gotten an invite to begin with.

april8901

Yes, people want to see your reaction, but if you feel uncomfortable with all that attention maybe do the cake or food during that time or see if there are any low-key games that could be going on during that time. Like maybe every time someone says "that's so cute" they have to do or lose something. Also, it is your shower and whoever is throwing it for you can note no wrapping.

queenwog

I didn't want to have to open gifts in front of a bunch of people (introvert with social anxiety) so I'm not having a shower. It's rude to not open the gifts in front of everyone at a shower.

4N6s

It's only for a couple minutes. You'll make it through.

cMichelle0423

PrimRoseMama said:

Annascr1 said:

This may be a strange question, but I'm pretty shy and a tad awkward. I really don't want to open gifts at the baby shower infront of people. Is this considered rude? I would send a really nice personalized thank you note. I just hate the idea of thirty people staring at me while I open and graciously thank them for the gifts. ( sorry if this has already been asked but I didn't see it )

Yes, it's rude. Folks like to see you open the gifts they spent time & money on.

You can have cake while you open gifts. Folks will talk & pass around the gifts. The whole point of the shower is to coo over the gifts & see your enjoyment as you open them.

Folks could have mailed their gifts & not spend 2 hours at a party making small talk.

Definitely agree with this. If being center of attention is that much of an issue for you, don't have a baby shower. The whole point is to celebrate the mother-to-be coming into motherhood.

penelope4612

I went to a bridal shower where the bride did not open the gifts and I definitely left feeling slightly annoyed.  I had put a ton of work into her gift and didn't get to see her open it.

wassuphoes

Knottie1433440300 said:

I think you have to know your audience and who you invite to your baby shower. Everyone at the shower I mentioned was very environmentally aware and thought this was a genius idea. Let's be honest, showers in general are tacky. It's always a "bring my baby and me lots of presents!" event regardless of how you phrase it! To the original poster, you know your friends and family best, so do what you are most comfortable with. If your friends find your shower "tacky" maybe they shouldn't have gotten an invite to begin with.

The "environmentally conscious " excuse for display showers is bull. It's not particularly hard to figure out you can wrap a gift in a blanket or arrange small gifts in a basket.

fashiongirlsteph

I just had a shower and was forced to open presents in front of everyone. I really wanted to just open them privately with family later that evening after everyone left.  For some reason, people really want to see you open their gifts.  

We just tried to keep it moving quickly!!  

Disneygeek77

Try to think of your guests point of view.  They took time out of their day to go to the store, pick out a gift, pay for it and wrap it for you.  They did this because they love you and are happy to help set up your household for a baby.  The least you can do is smile and say thank you.  If your anxiety is really bad, perhaps try practicing smiling at home in a mirror or come up with a few statements ahead of time like "  This is such a cute outfit " or " This blanket is so soft " or " This will look so good in the baby's nursery " or " This will come in handy a lot of the time."  Other ideas are like previously mentioned such as have a gift bingo game going on at the same time, eat cake or pass around the gifts so everyone can see them up close or a book of encouragement and advice.  Good luck and I hope you have a great time at your shower.

kschulz44

Try opening a few gifts at a time. I've been to showers where they play games and eat in between gift opening. Made it easier to watch and enjoy then one long opening!

ChiccoBeanz

As a guest, I'd expect to see the gifts be opened, but then again Idc either way. Just send a thank you note and I am happy. But that is me.

hansonec

Have you heard of an "unwrapped shower"?? My girlfriend had one and it was GREAT! No gifts came wrapped and so they set them all out like on display so everyone could see what she got. In her invite she wrote it was unwrapped. If you've sent invites contact everyone and tell them it will be an unwrapped party! It took away the hour long unwrapping session and took the gift unwrapping attention away! It was really a great idea.

whit3183

I don't think anybody enjoys opening gifts in front of a crowd at showers.  It's super awkward.  You just have to fake it -- smile and say thank you. It's not that hard. 

wassuphoes

hansonec said:

Have you heard of an "unwrapped shower"?? My girlfriend had one and it was GREAT! No gifts came wrapped and so they set them all out like on display so everyone could see what she got. In her invite she wrote it was unwrapped. If you've sent invites contact everyone and tell them it will be an unwrapped party! It took away the hour long unwrapping session and took the gift unwrapping attention away! It was really a great idea.

No, it is a terrible idea that was already suggested and called out for being terrible.

Part of accepting a shower is sucking it up and opening gifts. Yes it's awkward no one is saying it isn't. You can always serve cake or do a gift bingo and or a buzzer game (buzzer set to random individuals, when it goes off the giver of the gift being opened gets a door prizes) to help keep attention not entirely focused on you.

SouthernCharmedLife

hansonec said:

Have you heard of an "unwrapped shower"?? My girlfriend had one and it was GREAT! No gifts came wrapped and so they set them all out like on display so everyone could see what she got. In her invite she wrote it was unwrapped. If you've sent invites contact everyone and tell them it will be an unwrapped party! It took away the hour long unwrapping session and took the gift unwrapping attention away! It was really a great idea.

Omg, please do not contact your guests and tell them this. It's a terrible idea.

alysoncharlette

I was really dreading opening gifts in front of everyone too. I dislike this part at every baby and bridal shower I go to. It's over an hour of watching presents being opened, that I've ready seen when I went through their registry.

My shower is being thrown as an unwrapped gift shower. The invitations came with handmade gift tags for the display table, if they choose to bring a gift. I'm glad that I won't have to open them all.

I've heard there has been positive responses to the idea mentioned while phoning with RSVPs so far. Party styles are changing a lot. Knowing ahead of time it's unwrapped can give any offended invitees the option of just coming to party without a gift, or sending a regret if they think it's that uncouth.

MyCousinVinny

alysoncharlette said:

I was really dreading opening gifts in front of everyone too. I dislike this part at every baby and bridal shower I go to. It's over an hour of watching presents being opened, that I've ready seen when I went through their registry. My shower is being thrown as an unwrapped gift shower. The invitations came with handmade gift tags for the display table, if they choose to bring a gift. I'm glad that I won't have to open them all. I've heard there has been positive responses to the idea mentioned while phoning with RSVPs so far. Party styles are changing a lot. Knowing ahead of time it's unwrapped can give any offended invitees the option of just coming to party without a gift, or sending a regret if they think it's that uncouth.

See, this attitude is really offensive to me but also probably to the people close to you.  What you're basically saying is people can do things your way or don't bother coming.  I find that to be really disrespectful to the people that have chosen to take time out of their day and money out of their wallets to celebrate with you.  Don't your guests warrant some consideration for their own comfort and accomodations?

I agree that party styles are changing but I do not think it's a reason to enable the trend.  It's a rude trend and one that I hope dies quickly.

bbiutmcph

alysoncharlette said:

I was really dreading opening gifts in front of everyone too. I dislike this part at every baby and bridal shower I go to. It's over an hour of watching presents being opened, that I've ready seen when I went through their registry. My shower is being thrown as an unwrapped gift shower. The invitations came with handmade gift tags for the display table, if they choose to bring a gift. I'm glad that I won't have to open them all. I've heard there has been positive responses to the idea mentioned while phoning with RSVPs so far. Party styles are changing a lot. Knowing ahead of time it's unwrapped can give any offended invitees the option of just coming to party without a gift, or sending a regret if they think it's that uncouth.

Actually people probably say that to avoid being completely rude back to you and the host.  Also people aren't going to then just not bring a gift because that would be rude and awkward.  Seriously this idea is gimmiegimmiegimmie.  It literally sounds like "OK so I can't be bothered to waste time opening gifts you spend your hard earned money and time I just want all the gifts but don't want to properly thank you or show my gratefulness.  So instead just bring it unwrapped and we will avoid the gifts altogether which is the point of the shower.  WHen I get home I'll look at all my loot.  YAY ALL THE GIFTS"  Seriously this is what people think about this.  Your handmade gift tags are gagworthy seriously.  Here's a gifttag for my gift you can't wrap and I won't be bothered to open.

MrsBwIVF

I am in no ways what one would consider an "etiquette snob", but this unwrapped present business is a little extreme. To me, if you are willing to accept their generosity of spending the time AND money to get you and Baby a thoughtful gift, why can't you spend 30 seconds opening it and letting everyone "ohhh" and "ahhh" over it?
Yea, showers can be boring and the games can be annoying and overdone, so to me the only fun is watching the gift opening. Seeing the eyes of the bride or mama to be light up as her she opens her gifts, it's the best part. And when you see the guests reaction when their gift is being opened and they see how happy it makes the recipient, it's just a beautiful thing. Why would you want to take that long experience and gratitude away from your guests who are giving up their time to spend your shower with you?

Monkeybutt80

If I am taking the time out of my busy day to shop for you and bring you a present, don't tell me what or how to give it. Don't tell me to only buy presents from the registry, don't tell me to bring cash for a raffle, don't tell me to bring a book instead of a card, don't tell me not to wrap my gift, and open the damn thing in front of me so that I can get the satisfaction of knowing you enjoyed my gift. Period. 

shesha0176

I disagree it is perfectly ok to ask guests to wrap the gifts in clear wtapping paper so that people can see the gift and it can be displayed they don't have to sit there and oohh and aahh over the 4th high chair that you got. It is really common now to do that instead of spending the two hours of having to open every single gift.... again the shower is about the mom to be not about the people bringing the gifts

MyCousinVinny

shesha0176 said:

I disagree it is perfectly ok to ask guests to wrap the gifts in clear wtapping paper so that people can see the gift and it can be displayed they don't have to sit there and oohh and aahh over the 4th high chair that you got. It is really common now to do that instead of spending the two hours of having to open every single gift.... again the shower is about the mom to be not about the people bringing the gifts

Etiquette is in place to make your guests feel comfortable and accommodated.  While the baby shower is to honor the mother-to-be, it's still in her best interest to be considerate to those who took time out of their day and put thought and money into their gift for her.  

Being the guest of honor doesn't warrant free reign to do whatever she wants.  She should still be aware of how she is making her guests feel.

It's just rude to voice expectations on gifts given to you.  Because they're, ya' know, gifts.

MrsBwIVF

If someone asked me to attend a shower under the conditions I go out and find/buy clear wrapping paper and then was told they wouldn't open them because they were too shy, I'd laugh and not attend the shower. I'd also reevaluate why I was invited to that person's shower because it sounds like it was only to give a gift in clear paper.

Bubs2016

Oh goodness me! Alot of very critical opinions on this already expressed here! Quite harsh ladies! If people being invited knows your personality they will not take offense to you opening presents later. Its about celebrating you and bubs. Its your day. If people get their nose out of joint then so be it. All you have to say if you want to , is you know I shy and with these pregnancy hormones I am emotional right now... or nothing at all! Presents wrapped or not wrapped etc. Really is it a big deal? People who love you are not going to care with your demands or expectations, some may think you are alittle pregnancy godzilla but who cares. I would also think of others who cannot afford expensive gifts or bring just a card etc. I think opening in front of others can be uncomfortable and not just for the Mummy to be. Set out a nice table for gifts, etc and people can be discreet about it.

Litterateur

** Lurker **

I don't know about anyone else, but my favorite part of the shower is watching the guest of honor open gifts!  I usually spend a lot of time thinking about and picking out the gift.  OP, If you're not up to this, maybe don't have a shower...?  Just my 2cents...  

** Lurker Out **

allrightmeow

Bubs2016 said:

Oh goodness me! Alot of very critical opinions on this already expressed here! Quite harsh ladies! If people being invited knows your personality they will not take offense to you opening presents later. Its about celebrating you and bubs. Its your day. If people get their nose out of joint then so be it. All you have to say if you want to , is you know I shy and with these pregnancy hormones I am emotional right now... or nothing at all! Presents wrapped or not wrapped etc. Really is it a big deal? People who love you are not going to care with your demands or expectations, some may think you are alittle pregnancy godzilla but who cares. I would also think of others who cannot afford expensive gifts or bring just a card etc. I think opening in front of others can be uncomfortable and not just for the Mummy to be. Set out a nice table for gifts, etc and people can be discreet about it.

Harsh?  Id say it was all honest feedback.  I'd be annoyed with being micro managed as far as the gift Im giving.  OP Id not want to go hunting for clear wrapping paper.  Its a a few minutes.  Just open the gifts smile and say thank you.  

Bubs2016

Some opnions were harsh. Up to the Mother to be if she wants to open her gifts in front of everyone else or not. This first question jad nothing in it about being micro managed just she wasnt comfortable in opening gifts in front of people. Nothing wrong with that. She isnt devaluing the gift at all.

redfallon

Huh. Never knew there was such a thing as clear wrapping paper. If cellophane for gift baskets, flowers, cookies, and such, I see that. Otherwise, why would you wrap anything else in clear wrapping paper? Either wrap it up or leave it unwrapped. Clear is so weird and seems a waste. Like, what's the point?

wassuphoes

Litterateur said:

** Lurker **

I don't know about anyone else, but my favorite part of the shower is watching the guest of honor open gifts!  I usually spend a lot of time thinking about and picking out the gift.  OP, If you're not up to this, maybe don't have a shower...?  Just my 2cents...  

** Lurker Out **

Seriously, I don't attend showers for the shitty games. Cake and gift opening. 

You want  a party where everyone just Ya-Ya Sisterhoods over you? Don't call it a shower and if I'm actually close enough to you to ya-ya we can do that sometime without tons of people I don't know and don't care about.

OliveOyl2014

If you are uncomfortable doing something as simple as opening gifts in front of this group of people, then why are they close enough to you to even be invited to a shower for you? I would assume that the majority of the people coming are your family and close friends. It's not like you invited complete strangers to your shower.

inomniaparatus

I put a lot of thought into my gifts and the way I wrap them. I want my gift displayed until the end of the part, opened, then oohed and aahed over.

Opening up gifts is my favorite thing to do lol. But, I also actually enjoy watching and seeing what everyone got as well.

hansonec

OP- I'm sorry people are dissing you for feeling shy and making you feel like you HAVE to sit in front of people while they watch your every move and you're not comfortable with it. I suggested an unwrapped shower because it worked super well for a friend of mine. I was completely shot down by other people who were replying...but to each their own! Do what makes YOU comfortable. This day is about YOU and YOUR BABY or else people wouldn't be coming. I know many people who think the gift unwrapping part of showers is stupid. Yes, I'm sure someone will shoot me down for that comment too, but oh well! Many people spends lots of time and money on gifts and could care less to sit for an hour and watch. So really, don't forget to do what you want. No one will hate you Or think less of you because you don't like opening presents in front of a crowd.

wassuphoes

hansonec said:

OP- I'm sorry people are dissing you for feeling shy and making you feel like you HAVE to sit in front of people while they watch your every move and you're not comfortable with it. I suggested an unwrapped shower because it worked super well for a friend of mine. I was completely shot down by other people who were replying...but to each their own! Do what makes YOU comfortable. This day is about YOU and YOUR BABY or else people wouldn't be coming. I know many people who think the gift unwrapping part of showers is stupid. Yes, I'm sure someone will shoot me down for that comment too, but oh well! Many people spends lots of time and money on gifts and could care less to sit for an hour and watch. So really, don't forget to do what you want. No one will hate you Or think less of you because you don't like opening presents in front of a crowd.

Yes they will. The truth hurts. Friends and family can and will form judgements based on how you as an individual act. Showers are not exemptions. There are always faux pas that will rub people the wrong way. Not opening your gifts at a shower is one of them. Your guests won't say anything, they'll smile, and coo over the cupcakes wish you the best and that they can't wait to meet the baby, and then when they walk out the door some of them are going to whisper to their closest friend "She didn't open any presents. That was rude. I could have just mailed a gift and not have to pretend Aunt Myrtle's racist jokes were funny"  This isn't about shooting you down, it's about real life. If you're not worried about what other people think, go ahead. But since the OP asked if it was rude, multiple people responding that yes not opening presents at a shower is rude she seems to be concerned about what other people might think. And patting her on the head telling her telling her it's all about her, isn't really accepting the reality of other people and their opinions. 

Seriously OP, unless you have an anxiety condition or something similar that makes large groups of people hard for you to handle (Then why are you having a shower? That's extremely masochistic) it's going to come across less has "Shy" and more as "Selfish" if you don't open gifts at a shower. 

A lot of people are shy and awkward (Lord, you should see me when I go to H's family functions before the wine hits me)