I go back and forth on this as well.. LO was a surprise, we had 8 months to prepare for her and are doing okay now, but we weren't emotionally or financially ready for her when we found out she was coming. Being a twin I ALWAYS said I wanted my kids to be as close together as possible so they could grow up together like I did with my sister, but now I'm thinking they will probably be five years or so apart if we have another. I don't think it would be responsible of us to try again sooner. It breaks my heart a little, but also thinking back to the competitive teen years with my sister I guess a bigger age gap wouldn't be the worst thing I also am open to adoption down the line potentially of an older child. Honestly have pretty much no idea what my family will end up looking like in 10 years!
Wanting any kids was a newish development for us and we kind of like the idea of having the funds to travel a lot with him, etc so we were already leaning towards one. Having him 3 weeks early in breech position with ties that greatly impact BF'ing are making me want to stick to that as these are all things likely to occur again if they happened now. Not a deal breaker but still. Add in that we are mid/late 30's and I kind of want to homeschool him. I don't see how people do that with a baby.
@carajeanp37 My sister is 10 years older then me and we are pretty close. We never had to fight over things and she taught me a lot growing up
I always liked the idea of 4 kids and DH wanted 2 so I think we're agreeing on 3. DD was a surprise for us but after she was born I definitely started watching my BC to make sure it didn't happen again until we were ready. With LO we weren't trying but we weren't preventing it either, figuring if something didn't happen within a year or so we'd actively start trying. I always said I didn't want 2 in diapers at the same time so having them 3.5 years apart worked out well for us (plus only having them both in college at the same time for a year will be easier too!). I think we'll starting trying again whenever LO is around 3. That would make me 32 which would be good. I'm definitely glad that I waited for the second one so that I got to experience all of DDs "firsts" when it was just her so I know I'll wait again so that I can experience all of LOs firsts without having a newborn to take care of.
ETA: just discussed this with DH earlier and he was talking about having 4 or more kids, but whenever LO acts up he says we're done haha. I know we'll have more but I don't know about 4 kids anymore!
I'm with @lovethatcolosun toddlers are difficult. I thought having one was hard until we had our 2nd. Now it's like, oh man one kid is so easy! I could be fine with just 2 but sometimes I'm pretty indecisive.
Even though my last pregnancy and birth experience was tough, I don't feel totally "done". I'm definitely terrified of having another placental abruption (even though the chances are slim) and/ or another preemie. DS1 was born at 36 weeks and Spitty at 32.6 weeks. Sometimes I feel like I suck at being pregnant. However, I think about how I'd really like to have a girl but if I end up with 3 boys I'll probably be ok with that.
Thinking this and seeing it typed out makes me think I'm crazy. Lol.
Anyway, if we do end up with a 3rd it would have to happen soon. I'm 36, DH is 39 and I'm not down to get pregnant again right away. Hell no. Maybe we can adopt? I dunno. If another LO comes along soon I don't think I can handle being a working mom so we'd have to be independently wealthy
Yeah, having my two boys 18 months apart is going to keep me busy for a good while. So maybe I'm done...
I have a 7 yr old from a previous relationship and DH has a 4 yr old from one as well, & now we have LO together. It's stressful dealing with both of our exes all of the time & his kid is anything less than pleasant lol. But we want 1 more. We say it would be nice to have 2 that may look alike!
Edited for spelling. I'm tired and LO is pulling my hair!
Now that LO is a happy baby, I am actually ready for another! I loved being pregnant lol. Hubby and I have always said we would start trying for baby #2 on his first birthday so that's what we are going with.
I think we are done. We thought we were one and done, changed our mind for about a week last September because we thought DS1 should have a sibling, and then decided na, he'll be fine. A few weeks later . . .
Funny thing is that DS1 shortly after that started asking for a baby for Christmas. It was great to be able to say yes and give him a brother. Now he's begging for a sister.
I'm 36, my limit for pregnancy would probably be 39. So for now we are done but I know better than to speak in absolutes.
We are just leaving it up to God. That's how we got pregnant with DS this time! We were going to use condoms for a while until we are sure we are ready but DH complained about using them...so we will just see. I think we will just take kids as God gives them to us. We are both 27 so we have time if it takes a while but willing to deal with the craziness if it comes quickly!
I would like to have 1 more. I'll be 31 in November and DH will turn 29 in December (I'm a cradle robber, lol). I wanted to have my first by 30 and we got the BFP just a few weeks before my 30th. FIL is already pressuring us for another, but no way. I read somewhere recently that doctors actually recommend waiting 18 months between pregnancies for the health of the mother and the baby. I think that sounds like a good time frame. If I got pregnant right away, LO would be a little over 2 when the next baby is born and I would be 32, almost 33. We'd like to sell our house and build/buy again within the next few years, but I hope to not be pregnant/have a newborn in the process. We are a little nervous that the next time might be twins. I'm a twin (fraternal sister), I have twin cousins (boy and girl), and while I know that twins come from the mother's side, DH also has twin uncles and one of them has twin daughters.
I want another but pregnancy was so horrible. We will have another but it might take me 3-4 years to consider it. We always said we would have 3 but now having one..... Meh 2 is good!
I want another but pregnancy was so horrible. We will have another but it might take me 3-4 years to consider it. We always said we would have 3 but now having one..... Meh 2 is good!
My situation exactly. I'm scared to be pregnant again, but am willing to go through it one more time to give LO a sibling. Always wanted three, but I highly doubt that will happen. So jealous of women who can breeze through pregnancy!
I'm supposed to have my tubal this month and I'm really struggling with it. Pregnancy is so hard on my body and my kidneys barely held up this time. That's the only thing keeping me from canceling the surgery. I've had severe anxiety about this and I'm still not sure I'll do it. I have two and DH has five but, two are grown and moved out and the others are all teenagers. Eight kids isn't so crazy right?!?! DH comments on how he would have five more and those comments give me false hope. Its definitely an internal battle for me right now.
I'm supposed to have my tubal this month and I'm really struggling with it. Pregnancy is so hard on my body and my kidneys barely held up this time. That's the only thing keeping me from canceling the surgery. I've had severe anxiety about this and I'm still not sure I'll do it. I have two and DH has five but, two are grown and moved out and the others are all teenagers. Eight kids isn't so crazy right?!?! DH comments on how he would have five more and those comments give me false hope. Its definitely an internal battle for me right now.
As I've said on here before, my dream is to have a big family. I was blessed with an easy pregnancy, but I know that if I were in your position I would feel so torn. I think you're amazing for everything you've been through and don't blame you at all for wanting the libation, but I can also imagine what a heartbreaking decision it must be to get one when a part of you wants more babies. Creepy internet stranger hugs to you and prayers that, whatever you decide, you find peace of mind and good health.
I had to take a pregnancy test the other day (11 weeks pp). Holy crap. At first I was thinking having babies super close wouldn't be bad but then I started imagining how much those babies would cost. I think I about died just thinking about it! Thank goodness it was negative. Just another reminder to take my pill and wait a few years!
Hubby and I always said we wanted four. Now I'm okay with two or three. This is our first and the first couple of weeks I think I said out loud on many occasions- "people actually. Goose to do this more than once". Feel guilty about it now but I was sleep deprived so no judgment! We agreed to try again next summer when baby is a year old so we will see!
One year old babies are magic. SUPER adorable, language and and movement milestones all over the place, old enough to show their personality but not old enough to disobey. That's why so many people have kids two years apart, I think. One year olds make you want another.
Anyone taking the mini pill not exclusively bfding? I started supplementing LO and am nervous .. But I can't take estrogen so I guess I have to have faith I'm protected .. But yikes
Yeah the thread title gave me a mini heart attack! I was like "oh, poor poster!"
I am not interested in having a newborn again... And not sleeping. But we did discuss not having an only child, so it was either zero kids or more than one, in our minds. I'm 33 and DH is 35 and he's panicking about being an old dad... So maybe in another 2 years? I'm also not against adopting.
This!!! I'm 32 and DH 36 and he also panics about being an older dad. However he is so happy he is sleeping more now that baby is almost 3 months old he is not sure if he wants to do this again so soon. We got lazy in using condoms a few times this month so crossing my fingers I'm not pregnant!
@HayesRN13 my doctor told me as soon as I am done breastfeeding to call her for different birth control because the minipill only works in combination with breastfeeding.
@HayesRN13 my doctor told me as soon as I am done breastfeeding to call her for different birth control because the minipill only works in combination with breastfeeding.
And sorry to be so judgy, but pretty irresponsible. It's hard on your body to make and care for a baby. She would have had to get pregnant within the baby's first month. I just don't think you can say you are taking good, responsible care of everyone if you are in this situation.
Not that I care, it's her life. Situations like this often indicate a lack of education and thus a lack of real choice. But not always, I know.
@HayesRN13 my doctor told me as soon as I am done breastfeeding to call her for different birth control because the minipill only works in combination with breastfeeding.
That's not true.
It is actually "true"... If not breastfeeding it's not AS effective and your OB will switch you to something else... It really is designed for and most effective for breastfeeding women .. My point was I'm supplementing a bit now so not EXCLUSIVE bfing so of course I'm worried that will up my chances of getting Prego ... Just paranoid lol
Re: Pregnant again?
No.
@carajeanp37 My sister is 10 years older then me and we are pretty close. We never had to fight over things and she taught me a lot growing up
Even though my last pregnancy and birth experience was tough, I don't feel totally "done". I'm definitely terrified of having another placental abruption (even though the chances are slim) and/ or another preemie. DS1 was born at 36 weeks and Spitty at 32.6 weeks. Sometimes I feel like I suck at being pregnant. However, I think about how I'd really like to have a girl but if I end up with 3 boys I'll probably be ok with that.
Thinking this and seeing it typed out makes me think I'm crazy. Lol.
Anyway, if we do end up with a 3rd it would have to happen soon. I'm 36, DH is 39 and I'm not down to get pregnant again right away. Hell no. Maybe we can adopt? I dunno. If another LO comes along soon I don't think I can handle being a working mom so we'd have to be independently wealthy
Yeah, having my two boys 18 months apart is going to keep me busy for a good while. So maybe I'm done...
Edited for spelling. I'm tired and LO is pulling my hair!
Funny thing is that DS1 shortly after that started asking for a baby for Christmas. It was great to be able to say yes and give him a brother. Now he's begging for a sister.
I'm 36, my limit for pregnancy would probably be 39. So for now we are done but I know better than to speak in absolutes.
I have a 4 year old step son and our baby girl so we are happy with our 2
We always said we would have 3 but now having one..... Meh 2 is good!
Hubby and I always said we wanted four. Now I'm okay with two or three. This is our first and the first couple of weeks I think I said out loud on many occasions- "people actually. Goose to do this more than once". Feel guilty about it now but I was sleep deprived so no judgment! We agreed to try again next summer when baby is a year old so we will see!
This!!! I'm 32 and DH 36 and he also panics about being an older dad. However he is so happy he is sleeping more now that baby is almost 3 months old he is not sure if he wants to do this again so soon. We got lazy in using condoms a few times this month so crossing my fingers I'm not pregnant!
BFP #1 12/23/13 MMC 01/24/14 @ 9w5days
Not that I care, it's her life. Situations like this often indicate a lack of education and thus a lack of real choice. But not always, I know.