Pregnant again?

lindsladle15

Please let me know if there is a thread already for this! Saw that July '15 is already talking about this and I'm interested to hear what my fellow June '15-ers are thinking....

When are you all planning/wanting to have another baby, if at all?
One and done? Trying right away? Waiting a couple years? Etc?
Have your thoughts changed??

ETA: I did a search, but not sure if I did it correctly!

lindsladle15

Our DD's are 11.5 months apart, which we didn't plan (God did!), but I am excited for what the future holds! It's crazy right now, but we are so blessed.

That being said, we do want to have one or two more, but I'd like to wait (maybe a year?) to give my body and sanity a break! I think DH would start trying again in a couple months if I gave the go-ahead. Eeek.

karaelaine1991

Definitely planning to have another! Ideally I'd like to wait until DD is at least 2, but I wouldn't freak out if we had another LO at some point after next October (LO would be 16 months and I'd still have no problem going on our family beach vacation in August, #priorities lol). That being said, we're not using birth control because I personally don't like taking meds unless they're medically necessary (no judgment towards those of you who are using it, just my personal choice) and we associate condoms with our college years haha, so we avoid using those too. We've only had sex once pp, but yeah. DD was a happy surprise, so we are well aware what unprotected sex leads to - we may end up following in your footsteps, @lindsladle15! If we do, I'll be thrilled to have another baby. I'm already missing the tiny cuddly newborn days.

KonaCoffeeBean

Just seeing the title of this thread made my stomach drop, and I felt like I was going to cry. So yeah... I'm not ready yet.

Sammy K

Ours are about 2.5 years apart. We are D.O.N.E. We always planned on 2 and this baby solidified that decision. Now we get to watch them grow!

DolphinLover2002

We have a ds that will be 3 in about a week and a half. So they're 2 years and 9 months apart. We always said 2 kids and we were done. Well God said we needed 3 and gave us twins. So we are 100% done! I'm glad we spaced them out as much as we did since we had twins. I can't imagine having them be super close in age. Our son is a big help now, but still a little boy who we have to remind to be careful.

virginiaunicorn11

DH and I are 32. I want one maybe two more. He's willing to Maybe have one more but seems to prefer just one. My doctor recommended letting my body rest for a year before getting pregnant again. Ideally we'd wait two years, but I do feel my biological clock ticking - especially if we have two more (though DH seems to hate that idea). Also, I had an easy pregnancy and baby (less easy delivery), so that influences things. If LO2 were more difficult, I'd probably be done.

My professional timing for this baby was perfect, though I didn't realize it at first. I don't think I'll be in such a good professional position again only one year out... But I know there probably never seems to be a perfect time. This LO has taught me that things just work out.

TL;DR - One more, two if we hurry and DH allows it, but not for at least a year

aresee

I'm 32 also. We've always said we want two, and we'll definitely wait a couple years. Lately I've kind of been wanting three, but I'm not sure we can swing it financially without spacing it out (daycare is $$$ in the city), and I don't know that we'll have time. We'll probably reassess in a year.

mamameghan

I'm waiting a long time! Having twins and a toddler makes me have zero desire to be pregnant again. A woman in my local multiples group just got pregnant with her second set of twins and her first are under one. That's literally my worst nightmare haha!

mishmardhiono

mamameghan said:

I'm waiting a long time! Having twins and a toddler makes me have zero desire to be pregnant again. A woman in my local multiples group just got pregnant with her second set of twins and her first are under one. That's literally my worst nightmare haha!

Oh that sounds like a horror movie.. We want another baby but we will wait until LO is in school. I want to be able to give this LO my full attention and watch her blossom alone and then have the same for the second baby too. I think for me having 2 close together would take Some of the cuddles away and add more pressure.

A girl I work with had her 2nd baby the day after baby 1's first birthday so she didn't get her birthday recognised because they were in the hospital. I always feel a little sad for her and think she's lost her mum in a way but kudos to her for feeling as though she can manage both babies.

LolaMarley23

DH and I are only 24 and 25, so we are holding off for a while! LO was a happy surprise right after I graduated college so I am hoping to use the next 3-4 years focusing on my career. Plus I would ideally like to only have one kid in diapers at a time! I know we for sure want at least one more LO though at some point before we are 30

dancegurl1118

We'll start trying when LO is 15 months. My FMLA won't "renew" until 24 months after LO's birth date so I can't have another child until then. They would be a little over 2 years apart assuming we do not have trouble getting pregnant. I will probably get my IUD taken out when LO is 12 months just to give my body a few cycles to regulate. This is all assuming our finances stay stable and we are able to start saving again (buying a house and having a newborn at the same time while being out of work? I don't recommend it).

I agree about the title of this post though...I saw it and was like OH SHIT and maybe let it a little cackle that said "BETTER HER THAN ME".

delujm0

We'll probably start trying again when LO is about 15 months old. I'd be 34 then and would likeky deliver at 35, and I don't want to push it to much further than that if I can help it. We only plan to have one more (though this one is such a handful dh is wondering if we should just be done now).

We're using the good old condom for bc until I start menstruating again and can go back to temping so I can avoid for now and then conceive when I'm ready. I'm breastfeeding so who knows when my period will come back. But I wanted to avoid hormonal bc so that I wouldn't have to wait on my body regulating itself when I'm ready to start trying again. Not foolproof as far as bc hoes, but we won't be mad if it happens a little earlier than planned, so no big deal.

caitlincunn

My fiancé and I are both 21, with a 5 year old daughter and this lo. We're planning our wedding for September 2016 so anytime after that we would like a 3rd and maybe 4th. Probably when this lo is 2/3 years old.

mjschenk

I would like to have the next earlier in the year no offense to June moms but march or April seem like the perfect month to have a baby this being said I want my children close so plan to get pregnant right around babies first birthday. Ideally have three total but I want them close rather than a break or not having two in diapers I like the appeal of say six to seven years of them and then done. I might be the odd person out on this.

slr1229

Probably in start in January 2017. With having a June baby we can hold her back and ideally they'd be 3 years apart but 2 years apart in school. I do NOT want another summer baby. It's been too hot here in Texas to really enjoy maternity leave, I'd rather have been pregnant through the summer.

slr1229

Plus, our 5 year anniversary is next May 2016, beach trip without LO, and DH turns 30 next October 2016 so we have lots we want to do before we start again!

HayesRN13

dh wants one right away...I think he's sabotaging my birth control.. Haha I told him no way not going to happen

chrissssn

I have two beautiful boys, so I'm done. DH wants one more. I told him the only way that would happen is if I became a SAHM. Childcare is so damn expensive and stressful!

beckyk9109

We had twin girls, so hubby swears we are done. Twins hardcore run in our families (I'm talking 6sets between our families) and he's terrified that we will have another set. I'm up for trying again when these two are out of diapers, but we will see!

aliciaspinnet

I wouldn't mind giving our LO a younger brother or sister but I think we'll wait a couple of years first. I think DH feels the same way, although I think he might have a hard time with a second pregnancy- I had a reasonably big postpartum bleed and he was terrified that he was going to lose me.

katyqv

DH and I both come from big immediate families -- he has 5 bros and 1 sis and I have 4 bros. I couldn't see raising a LO without siblings but honestly, I hated being pregnant. So, not sure what we want right now. If DH had his way, we'd be done.

delujm0

slr1229 said:

Probably in start in January 2017. With having a June baby we can hold her back and ideally they'd be 3 years apart but 2 years apart in school. I do NOT want another summer baby. It's been too hot here in Texas to really enjoy maternity leave, I'd rather have been pregnant through the summer.

This for me too. I'm stuck between "fall would be a way better time to be home all day" and "but I'm so old." If I start trying in a month where #2 would be due in June, I figure it won't happen right away and maybe there's a chance for some fall weather at least. It's been surprisingly nice out in NC thus far this week so we can actually go out during the day. It's awesome since one of the only things LO likes is the hammock.

thay33

Going to wait until DS is 1 or 2 or right in between! Whenever it's supposed to happen, but deff not now! But we do want another

aj1327

I'm 33 and so is DH...he'll turn 34 in December and I will in January. If he could choose, I think he'd be one and done, but he'll have two I think. I want another in 2 years or so. I think DH is actually enjoying this baby thing more than he thought he would. He wants to wait four years which I feel is too long. Maybe we'll compromise at 3 years apart?

upandbelow

DH and I discussed 2 and he's sticking to that - but childcare is so expensive I'm thinking unless there's a significant salary boost in the next little while we'll let LO be in 1/2 day kindergarten (so 5yrs) when I'm on Mat leave. I've got 3 sisters and get along with my littlest - 6 year age difference - the best so I like that gap.

ChardeeMacDennis

I think we're done. We've had 3 in 4 years. We've always said maybe 3 or 4 kids but after this one we're pretty sure that's it. Personally I'm just ready to have my body be all MINE again. I've pretty much been trying/pregnant/breastfeeding since June of 2009, with only a few months off between #2 and #3.

AlwaysSunny1012

We want 2 but I just can't imagine doing this again soon. I am sure I'll feel different when there is some distance between me and this pregnancy/newborn stage. I always thought I wanted them close together but the idea of a toddler plus a newborn literally makes me break into a sweat.

MaliKaela

dancegurl1118 said:

I agree about the title of this post though...I saw it and was like OH SHIT and maybe let it a little cackle that said "BETTER HER THAN ME".

PRETTY MUCH...!

In all seriousness though, I would love another. I've always wanted three (I have two siblings), and figured I would have two and adopt the third (overpopulation and whatnot). However, after experiencing pregnancy and all the pain that went with it for me, i'm not sure I can do it again. While pregnant I just thought we would just adopt two... no big deal. But now i'm kind of sad and torn about it. I know I will love any adopted children the same way but there is something special about giving birth to and holding your child for those first weeks. And... I would want to be done within the next five years max so I don't have a ton of time.

I guess the short answer is no more biological children for us unless I magically get my fibro under control.

mlindzz

I'm 26 and this was our first. I've always imagined having just 1 or 2 kids, while my husband has always said we would have six. Um.. No. We'll meet in the middle, which is 2!

And next time I say I'm having the baby, none of this 'do I have time to make a protein shake?' BS. I was 9 3/4 dilated by the time we arrived at the hospital last time!

I second @KonaCoffeeBean .. My stomach dropped reading the title of this thread. I couldn't imagine being pregnant while taking care of another child, let alone taking care of two kids! You mom's with more than one are superheroes!

marlener25

We are done. I have LO and an almost three year old. Juggling an infant and a toddler is way harder than I ever imagined AND I am blessed with an easy baby. I can't imagine having three! That would also mean a bigger car, two kids in one room, not happening. DONE.

mrs1374a

Our two now are 3 years and 4 months apart. We thought we were done but I just don't feel "done". My husband says it's my choice. So I will reevaluate how I feel when she is potty trained

heidiiwa

I'm 40, DH is 35. Before I got pregnant we thought we wanted "one at the most". While pregnant I began to seriously want another one...now, 9 weeks pp, I am so glad I'm not pregnant again, and am taking my mini-pill religiously at the same time on the dot to try to prevent a second pregnancy until we are ready. I want to be able to pay lots of attention to LO while he's in the baby and toddler stages, and I want to finish my PhD (or at least be in my last year of it) before getting pregnant again. We might have time for one more, or given my age, we might not. Either way is ok I guess, as long as I have enough time to recover before the next pregnancy. I'm in no hurry to relieve the first few weeks of life with an infant again...it was so stressful and breastfeeding was so painful back then. Every day LO gets easier to manage and more like a little person. But the first weeks were hell. Now that I'm out of my postpartum depression I have no desire to go back right away. On the other hand, someday it would be great to give LO a baby sister or brother. I like the idea of adoption, but I don't want to adopts brand new baby-- toddler or older child would be fine!

HoosOnFirst

Yeah the thread title gave me a mini heart attack! I was like "oh, poor poster!"

I am not interested in having a newborn again... And not sleeping. But we did discuss not having an only child, so it was either zero kids or more than one, in our minds. I'm 33 and DH is 35 and he's panicking about being an old dad... So maybe in another 2 years? I'm also not against adopting.

bethanne09

We have talked about having another, if we do it will be really soon because I want them to grow up together. My brother was always my best friend and I think I'd being close in age helped that. I want my kids to have that.

But I've also been thinking that I could handle being a single child family. I'd like to focus on work more after my year of SAHM and having another would make me want to take another year off, if possible.

mindaa

Interesting discussion!

We change our minds every day, LOL!  For the first month after LO was born, DH told me almost every day that "we're not doing this again." After being out of town for a couple weeks, he comes back talking about giving DS a sibling, and adopting a girl from China. Then it only took a few days back with baby for him to change his mind again. 

Selfishly, we love the idea of an only child, so it's easier to travel and stuff. But I think it will just break my heart if DS starts asking for a sibling down the road. And, as I keep telling DH, my biological clock will speak louder than practicality and reason. I've also been drawn to foster adoption and was pretty close to pursuing it when we have trouble conceiving.

Either way, we're old (late 30's), so we have to figure things out soon!

lovethatcolosun

We are done. We were always a "one maybe two" family. I'm happy that we made the decision to have another. The kids are three years apart, which I think is good in many aspects and tough in others. DS will start preschool in a couple of weeks, which will give me more one on one time with LO. I'm not sure if any other moms of multiple kids out there feel like this, but babies are easy...it's the toddlers that are challenging. It's probably because I already have experience with the newborn and infant stage so it "seems" easier to me. Dealing with sass, potty training, and defiance is not easy. They are both blessings, and I'm so grateful that I have an easy baby. It makes wrangling a spirited three YO a whole lot easier.

addingon

The more important thing is that we all make a pregnancy pact so that we're in the same Bump month group again!!

I am 31 and we'd like 2 kids. I've always been in the camp of wanting them close-ish together so I could see trying when LO is 15 months or maybe a little more. Closer then that and I may lose it! (And that's with a great, calm, happy baby!!)

KaLikeAWind

I saw the title of this thread and was like 'oh, man...that SUCKS!'.

But to answer your question - Hell. No. One and done, here. For a couple of reasons... 1) We never planned on children, ever, and LO was a surprise. 2) because we never planned on kids, we are old - DH is 38 and I am 37, if we waited even 3 years that puts me at 40. Of course women can have babies at 40, I just don't want to be one of them.

I have a sister and step siblings and half siblings, and I admit my relationship with my sister is awesome. We are 5 years apart, which wasn't really annoying except when the younger is a baby, and when the older becomes a teen. I do think siblings are great for kids, but if we were to have another it would either be another accident (and we are using condoms right now before I get a Mirena implanted, so that's pretty unlikely), or DH and I would have to agree *very soon* to have another, cause if we were gonna have another, I'd rather just get it the hell over with.

If LO asks us for a brother or sister when he's bigger, well then... Hopefully he won't. But if he does I guess we'll talk about it again. I can't predict my mind 4 or 5 years from now, but my biological clock may take that decision away from me anyway. So if LO asks for a sibling, we would probably adopt - DH was adopted as a baby and we have always liked the idea of giving another child the opportunity he received by being adopted by a loving family

rklinge0

We are in no hurry. Maybe an inappropriate excuse but as long as I have another baby before 40 my risk factors for a chromosomal issue stays the same. So we have 11 years to decide.
That being said ideally I want a second one but they will probably not be close in age.

virginiaunicorn11

mellymar said:

I saw the title of this thread and was like 'oh, man...that SUCKS!'.

But to answer your question - Hell. No. One and done, here. For a couple of reasons... 1) We never planned on children, ever, and LO was a surprise. 2) because we never planned on kids, we are old - DH is 38 and I am 37, if we waited even 3 years that puts me at 40. Of course women can have babies at 40, I just don't want to be one of them.

I have a sister and step siblings and half siblings, and I admit my relationship with my sister is awesome. We are 5 years apart, which wasn't really annoying except when the younger is a baby, and when the older becomes a teen. I do think siblings are great for kids, but if we were to have another it would either be another accident (and we are using condoms right now before I get a Mirena implanted, so that's pretty unlikely), or DH and I would have to agree *very soon* to have another, cause if we were gonna have another, I'd rather just get it the hell over with.

If LO asks us for a brother or sister when he's bigger, well then... Hopefully he won't. But if he does I guess we'll talk about it again. I can't predict my mind 4 or 5 years from now, but my biological clock may take that decision away from me anyway. So if LO asks for a sibling, we would probably adopt - DH was adopted as a baby and we have always liked the idea of giving another child the opportunity he received by being adopted by a loving family

I really love that you see a potential request for a sibling as an important and valid consideration! That's so thoughtful!! I begged my mother for YEARS to have another baby. It was the first thing on my list for Santa every. year. And one day, my mother sat me down and firmly explained it was never going to happen. And I cried, lol!

My brother is 9 years older than me. We are close now, but we've had serious sibling rivalry issues most of our lives.