UO Thursday

rebeccabloomwood

Any opinions of the unpopular kind?

Let's hear 'em!

rebeccabloomwood

My UO -
I love love love my children.
That being said, I'm not in a rush to do the newborn thing again. I want my VBAC so I want baby to come sooner than later (later means c-section) but I'm also content with baby staying as an easy to care for squish in my belly. Once she's out I gotta share her and take care of her.
The 1st 3 months with DD1 were hellish. After that, bliss ensued. I'm terrified of that stage again.

LaurenNewph

I'm glad I had a csection! I'm also taking advantage of this time in the NICU... Do I wish he was home with me? Every damn second of the day! But since he's not I'm taking this time to nap when I'm not with him and recover so I'm ready to go when he comes home! I'm also not too sad the breastfeeding thing isn't working out for me!

thinkpink101

I probably just made a post about one! (Thoughts about MIL).

aleecats

My UO is I don't think they should raise minimum wage to 15$ an hour, I'm an extreme liberal and this is the only thing I can't find myself to agree with. I think some professions need an increase in pay, my fiancés work included but I don't think that a McDonald's or jewel employee needs 15$ for the work they do, if they want a high wage find a different job that pays that wage.

jennsuzanne87

My UO opinion is that baby will be #1 and dad will be #2. I understand that baby boy's needs will be priority over dh's because my son can't take care of himself like dh can. However, I feel like me and my dh should be a team where there is no leader and no #1. Dh shouldn't be able to go down in ranking because we are a unit. It really bothers me when women *with the best of intentions* tell you how much less important your dh/so becomes after baby because I feel it implies that we aren't going to be a team anymore- we should be jointly concerned about our son.

rebeccabloomwood

@jennsuzanne87 this reminds me of another unpopular opinion I have. Men looking after their children is not amazing and I'm not super lucky and he isn't babysitting. He's a father and that's his job just like it's my job. I didn't get lucky. I was smart and didn't marry a child.

jennsuzanne87

@rebeccabloomwood I totally agree. It would be like saying: "I got so lucky when I bought my car that it can not only now drive me places, but also my child. It totally has a seat belt to buckle him in and gets him places!" Yeah, that's the car's job and if it didn't do it's job you would be concerned not complacent. 

BRitchie87

Mine: I'm sure it's hormones, but the "I'm so done", "how do I induce", and basic "I'm so miserable" posts are setting my teeth on edge.
We get it. Join the club...it's called the third trimester.

hatchback4g

BRitchie87 said:

Mine: I'm sure it's hormones, but the "I'm so done", "how do I induce", and basic "I'm so miserable" posts are setting my teeth on edge. We get it. Join the club...it's called the third trimester.

I think if this had been contained to one or two threads it wouldn't have gotten on my nerves, I even participated in the first one but all of a sudden it was every other post I opened and of course the titles are obscure so it's not like you know what you are walking into. Which leads directly to my UO... I HATE random thread titles that don't tell me what the subject actually is... if every other post continues to be titled "is anyone else?" or some equally obscure title I'm going to scream. I want to read things that interest me or that I haven't already answered/read 800 times, I don't want to click on every single post to figure out what it's actually about.

rebeccabloomwood

@hatchback4g I also hate obscure thread titles. So much so that I put a lot of thought into any thread I'm going to make and the title it will be and rhen usually don't even end up posting the discussion because I can't think of the title. I want to know what's contained in that thread by the title by the few words on the posts lists. Amen!

hatchback4g

@rebeccabloomwood Right?! It also makes it so much harder for people to search for a topic and find the information they are looking for before posting which leads to repeat threads. Which at some point you just get tired of answering the same question over and over again.

AndieTessie

My UO is that I hate weight gaining posts. I feel like its only depressing and pointless trying to compare what we gained/ didn't gain, every pregnancy is so different. Sorry!

pregat40

My UO post is I am not a fan of venting on SO, spouses, etc in this forum. I firmly believe that some things need to remain sacred and blasting your better half on the Internet is just plain ole tacky. Would you say that to him? Probably not. Why entertain the opinion of Internet strangers for the sake of venting? Work it out and resolve your issues or get a therapist. ..

meggipi5

@hatchback4g  and @rebeccabloomwood Try using Feedly. It's a web tool where you can subscribe to different blogs and it shows you the title and a preview (first paragraph or so). Then if you actually want to read it and all the responses, it will take you to the Bump site. It's an app, too. Saves my sanity on the bump groups.

aleecats

@pregat40 I have to say I disagree with that, I think it's perfectly healthy to vent in the same way it's heathy to journal. Sometimes you know your being irrational you just have to let it out. Would I ever tell my SO that I really wanna punch him in the face right now because he won't stay on his side of the bed! Because I know that irrational and I'd never actually punch him but I feel better after letting it out.
The nice part to venting to internet strangers is they don't know you and they never will so whatever they think of you doesn't mater, if I told my parents or family or friends everytime he was frustrating me or we were fighting they'd eventually start to form a disliking for him, and he isn't bad or mean or anything I just needed to get it off my chest!

BRitchie87

One more, because the snark is strong with me today....
Most of us are not doctors or nurses. And even if we were, I've never met a doc that can diagnose via chat board post. We don't know what your pain is, if it's normal, or if you're in labor. I'm going to start posting random diagnosis on those boards...."sounds like gas", "sounds like athletes foot", "sounds like you possibly are pregnant".

Taekarate1978

aleecats said:

@pregat40 I have to say I disagree with that, I think it's perfectly healthy to vent in the same way it's heathy to journal. Sometimes you know your being irrational you just have to let it out. Would I ever tell my SO that I really wanna punch him in the face right now because he won't stay on his side of the bed! Because I know that irrational and I'd never actually punch him but I feel better after letting it out.
The nice part to venting to internet strangers is they don't know you and they never will so whatever they think of you doesn't mater, if I told my parents or family or friends everytime he was frustrating me or we were fighting they'd eventually start to form a disliking for him, and he isn't bad or mean or anything I just needed to get it off my chest!

I tell my husband that his body is 300 degrees and I just want to beat him with a stick because he wants to sleep on my side of the bed with me. He just laughs about it because he knows I'm not really going to do it. I so love him...lol.

aleecats

BRitchie87 said:

One more, because the snark is strong with me today....
Most of us are not doctors or nurses. And even if we were, I've never met a doc that can diagnose via chat board post. We don't know what your pain is, if it's normal, or if you're in labor. I'm going to start posting random diagnosis on those boards...."sounds like gas", "sounds like athletes foot", "sounds like you possibly are pregnant".

Funny story about that, my friend from high school (not the smartest girl in the world) thought she was pregnant but wouldn't buy a test, instead she went on a "doctors" chat room and ended up talking to a "OB" that told her if she sent pictures of belly from the side he'd be able to tell her if she was... Needless to say for like 4 months she believed she was pregnant she finally told her mom and her mom took her to a real doctor who told her she wasn't and hadn't been.

Taekarate1978

In my community my unpopular opinion is helicopter parenting needs to stop. My kids run wild in the yard and woods while I work in the house. If they get stuck in a tree they figure out how to get unstuck. This doesn't mean I don't rescue them when needed, but I don't have to be right up under them all the time. Kids need to learn how to be independent. That being said, I always know where my kids are and who they are spending time with. I have rules, I just don't have to smother the life out of them.

pregat40

aleecats said:

@pregat40 I have to say I disagree with that, I think it's perfectly healthy to vent in the same way it's heathy to journal. Sometimes you know your being irrational you just have to let it out. Would I ever tell my SO that I really wanna punch him in the face right now because he won't stay on his side of the bed! Because I know that irrational and I'd never actually punch him but I feel better after letting it out.
The nice part to venting to internet strangers is they don't know you and they never will so whatever they think of you doesn't mater, if I told my parents or family or friends everytime he was frustrating me or we were fighting they'd eventually start to form a disliking for him, and he isn't bad or mean or anything I just needed to get it off my chest!

aleecats said:

@pregat40 I have to say I disagree with that, I think it's perfectly healthy to vent in the same way it's heathy to journal. Sometimes you know your being irrational you just have to let it out. Would I ever tell my SO that I really wanna punch him in the face right now because he won't stay on his side of the bed! Because I know that irrational and I'd never actually punch him but I feel better after letting it out.
The nice part to venting to internet strangers is they don't know you and they never will so whatever they think of you doesn't mater, if I told my parents or family or friends everytime he was frustrating me or we were fighting they'd eventually start to form a disliking for him, and he isn't bad or mean or anything I just needed to get it off my chest!

To each her own!

chelseajeanene

My unpopular opinion has to do with the whole "cover up while breastfeeding" situation. If I get attacked for saying how I feel about this I'm going to be pissed but this is truly a hot topic in my mind. Do I think you need to cover the babies face while feeding in public? No I don't. But do I think the mother should be covered up and not have her breast/nipple exposed? Yes. I think women have no modesty anymore and it has absolutely nothing to do with anything other then that. Everyone's response is always "well what about the skimpy bakinis like Victoria's Secret?" Yes they're skimpy, but do you see the women's nipple while she's out in public? No you do not. It's completely different and a lot of these women I feel just want to rub it in other peoples faces. Feed your child and don't hide that, but there's a million different ways to cover yourself up! I was a waitress for 6 years and encountered breastfeeding at the table many of times. As I was making eye contact and taking the mothers order she just nonchalantly pulled out her breast and gave to her toddler to eat...that was uncomfortable, and her poor husband looked at me like he had just seen a ghost, I felt bad because he clearly was embarrassed. Another women did it as I was carrying a very heavy tray above my shoulder, she was standing in the middle of the restaurant while doing so and I almost dropped the tray because I was so shocked. There is just proper etiquette you're supposed to have while in public situations. Okay I'm done

WDDCH

I hate how LOST ended.
And I hate cilantro.

Sorry that's all I've got today.

Taekarate1978

WDDCH said:

I hate how LOST ended.
And I hate cilantro.

Sorry that's all I've got today.

Those are good ones!

PreggersinParis

hatchback4g said:

BRitchie87 said:

Mine: I'm sure it's hormones, but the "I'm so done", "how do I induce", and basic "I'm so miserable" posts are setting my teeth on edge. We get it. Join the club...it's called the third trimester.

I think if this had been contained to one or two threads it wouldn't have gotten on my nerves, I even participated in the first one but all of a sudden it was every other post I opened and of course the titles are obscure so it's not like you know what you are walking into. Which leads directly to my UO... I HATE random thread titles that don't tell me what the subject actually is... if every other post continues to be titled "is anyone else?" or some equally obscure title I'm going to scream. I want to read things that interest me or that I haven't already answered/read 800 times, I don't want to click on every single post to figure out what it's actually about.

THIS! I've been grinding my teeth about this for a while now and have been really holding back! The random post titles like you described drive me more nuts than the gajillion hospital bag threads! I don't know if it's supposed to be, like, a "teaser" or some form of click bait with the vague titles like, "I'm starting to..." but they drive me nuts. Thank you for this!

itsasapphire

We live in South Florida and I love hurricane season. I love rainy weather, rolling thunder, staying inside ect. DH gets so angry at the weather when it's "crappy". There's a hurricane developing and I'm so excited. Barometric pressure goes down, baby goes down!

I'm scheduled for a C section on the 31st but I would love to naturally go into labor.

@wddch I also hate cilantro. Bleck!

ETA: I hate pumpkin spice!

pregat40

Taekarate1978 said:

aleecats said:

@pregat40 I have to say I disagree with that, I think it's perfectly healthy to vent in the same way it's heathy to journal. Sometimes you know your being irrational you just have to let it out. Would I ever tell my SO that I really wanna punch him in the face right now because he won't stay on his side of the bed! Because I know that irrational and I'd never actually punch him but I feel better after letting it out.
The nice part to venting to internet strangers is they don't know you and they never will so whatever they think of you doesn't mater, if I told my parents or family or friends everytime he was frustrating me or we were fighting they'd eventually start to form a disliking for him, and he isn't bad or mean or anything I just needed to get it off my chest!

I tell my husband that his body is 300 degrees and I just want to beat him with a stick because he wants to sleep on my side of the bed with me. He just laughs about it because he knows I'm not really going to do it. I so love him...lol.

I'm glad you are one of the ones who vent to her spouse.....lol

thefuturemrsdaniel

I'm not a fan of the shaming of the different opinions on full term. It's out of hand recently. My first showed up before 39 weeks and was almost 9lbs. He still had to go to NICU for a week. This just showed me that no matter when they are born things happen. I'm hoping this one shows up at least that early if it's true that 2nd babies are bigger than the 1st. Granted I'm not a fan of shaming for any reason. As people in general we always second guess if we are doing right or not whether it's eating organic or oreos, cosleeping or cio. Can't we all have different opinions and just say them without being told we are wrong. There's my thoughts for the week haha

squigles28

I just wish people would remember the MP, baby dropping is not a timeline of when we will go into labor.

Now can someone tell me what they are putting in their hospital bag? I'm taking a steamer trunk and have a little more room left
But I'm in love with this thread! Ha-ha!

alyjmac

chelseajeanene said:

My unpopular opinion has to do with the whole "cover up while breastfeeding" situation. If I get attacked for saying how I feel about this I'm going to be pissed but this is truly a hot topic in my mind. Do I think you need to cover the babies face while feeding in public? No I don't. But do I think the mother should be covered up and not have her breast/nipple exposed? Yes. I think women have no modesty anymore and it has absolutely nothing to do with anything other then that. Everyone's response is always "well what about the skimpy bakinis like Victoria's Secret?" Yes they're skimpy, but do you see the women's nipple while she's out in public? No you do not. It's completely different and a lot of these women I feel just want to rub it in other peoples faces. Feed your child and don't hide that, but there's a million different ways to cover yourself up! I was a waitress for 6 years and encountered breastfeeding at the table many of times. As I was making eye contact and taking the mothers order she just nonchalantly pulled out her breast and gave to her toddler to eat...that was uncomfortable, and her poor husband looked at me like he had just seen a ghost, I felt bad because he clearly was embarrassed. Another women did it as I was carrying a very heavy tray above my shoulder, she was standing in the middle of the restaurant while doing so and I almost dropped the tray because I was so shocked. There is just proper etiquette you're supposed to have while in public situations. Okay I'm done

This 100%!
I remember being in karate when I was about 7 or 8 and we were having a ceremony type thing to see if you're ready to go to the next belt. Well, there was this lady watching and she just whipped out her boob, nipple and all, and started feeding her baby. As a child, it was awkward for me to see and I felt a little uncomfortable.

Even now in certain situations, I feel it should be covered up. I honestly don't even like to see guys nipples when out at dinner or shopping around. Like when they were this wife beaters and its hanging out the side. Maybe I'm just an oddball !

chelseajeanene

@alyjmac That had to have been so awkward lol then we get told were the bad guys for being uncomfortable and told "don't look." My reaction to that is you clearly want people to look, so don't even try that. Even if you notice and look away it's still happening right there is the open lol you're not allowed to be naked or flash in public..so how it this different?

aleecats

@chelseajeanene I 100% agree there is a way do it without being exposed all the way! People need to respect breast feeding moms and breastfeeding moms need to respect people

kanga915

chelseajeanene said:

@alyjmac That had to have been so awkward lol then we get told were the bad guys for being uncomfortable and told "don't look." My reaction to that is you clearly want people to look, so don't even try that. Even if you notice and look away it's still happening right there is the open lol you're not allowed to be naked or flash in public..so how it this different?

I hope you have babies that let you cover them then. And understand not all babies tolerate the covers. I wouldn't want to eat under a sheet. It's not sexual. Feeding your child has nothing to do with modesty. This is coming from a very modest Christian woman. There were many times I had no choice but to NIP. I tried to go to the car or somewhere private for the most part but I remember once sitting on the dirty floor of a family restroom at Walmart because that was the only option. Point is, how about we all do what we need to do? My kids will be shown breastfeeding and taught it's beautiful and important so they won't be judgmental or uncomfortable seeing a human boob feeding an infant.

kanga915

AndieTessie said:

My UO is that I hate weight gaining posts. I feel like its only depressing and pointless trying to compare what we gained/ didn't gain, every pregnancy is so different. Sorry!

They were banned on my old BMB and it was really nice.

kanga915

thefuturemrsdaniel said:

I'm not a fan of the shaming of the different opinions on full term. It's out of hand recently. My first showed up before 39 weeks and was almost 9lbs. He still had to go to NICU for a week. This just showed me that no matter when they are born things happen. I'm hoping this one shows up at least that early if it's true that 2nd babies are bigger than the 1st. Granted I'm not a fan of shaming for any reason. As people in general we always second guess if we are doing right or not whether it's eating organic or oreos, cosleeping or cio. Can't we all have different opinions and just say them without being told we are wrong. There's my thoughts for the week haha

I've been very vocal about the correct, official definition of full term on this board (39+0 to 41+6) because there are always a million posts about how to kickstart labor at 37.5 weeks or moms with doctors willing to induce at 38 weeks for absolutely no reason. There's a lot of misinformation out there, including the idea that babies are just fine to be born via induction before they are term. Babies that come early on their own are obviously a different story, and yes, typically are fine born at 37 weeks. But the ACOG and March of Dimes picked 39 weeks because babies have the absolute best chance of thriving and successfully breastfeeding etc past 39 weeks. I don't think it's judgey or rude to point this out.

Eta spelling

chelseajeanene

kanga915 said:

chelseajeanene said:

@alyjmac That had to have been so awkward lol then we get told were the bad guys for being uncomfortable and told "don't look." My reaction to that is you clearly want people to look, so don't even try that. Even if you notice and look away it's still happening right there is the open lol you're not allowed to be naked or flash in public..so how it this different?

I hope you have babies that let you cover them then. And understand not all babies tolerate the covers. I wouldn't want to eat under a sheet. It's not sexual. Feeding your child has nothing to do with modesty. This is coming from a very modest Christian woman. There were many times I had no choice but to NIP. I tried to go to the car or somewhere private for the most part but I remember once sitting on the dirty floor of a family restroom at Walmart because that was the only option. Point is, how about we all do what we need to do? My kids will be shown breastfeeding and taught it's beautiful and important so they won't be judgmental or uncomfortable seeing a human boob feeding an infant.

In my original first post I did agree that I don't believe the baby should be covered, just the mother. I understand things can happen and slips to occur but I'm talking about the women who walk down an isle full boob out and no cares in the world about it. I have a coworker like that and has gigantic breast and all you see if her full boob and giant nipple and she doesn't care who is watching. She post videos and photos all over her Facebook like that too. People like her are rubbing it in people's faces, yet get so outraged when people make a comment

jabeauty90

@chelseajeanene I always breastfeed in public. I wear two shirts, one regular and one a tank top. I pull the tank top down and pull the shirt up. I've never had anyone make comments and most don't notice I'm breastfeeding. I'm not covering my child because other people are offended but I also don't just whip out my full breast for everyone to see.

chelseajeanene

@jabeauty90 I think that's completely appropriate

kanga915

chelseajeanene said:

@jabeauty90 I think that's completely appropriate

I'm sure she's glad to have your blessing. I, on the other hand, will not care at all if you approve of how I nurse my baby. Also why are you so derogatory about a woman having "gigantic breasts" and "giant nipples"?

rjanice

Taekarate1978 said:

In my community my unpopular opinion is helicopter parenting needs to stop. My kids run wild in the yard and woods while I work in the house. If they get stuck in a tree they figure out how to get unstuck. This doesn't mean I don't rescue them when needed, but I don't have to be right up under them all the time. Kids need to learn how to be independent. That being said, I always know where my kids are and who they are spending time with. I have rules, I just don't have to smother the life out of them.

This!

chelseajeanene

kanga915 said:

chelseajeanene said:

@jabeauty90 I think that's completely appropriate

I'm sure she's glad to have your blessing. I, on the other hand, will not care at all if you approve of how I nurse my baby. Also why are you so derogatory about a woman having "gigantic breasts" and "giant nipples"?

Your rude sarcasm is unnecessary