Today I Cried Because...

mjjc7709

@britmendz (((hugs))) thinking of you.

mjjc7709

@Adventure84 I'm so very sorry to hear about this. I understand how much it hurts. I go through cycles of sadness and anger on a daily basis. You're not alone. Sending you lots of love. (((Hugs)))

PR7777

I have cried every day since we found out our baby was dead inside me. We closed on our condo 4 days after the horrible news. We were rushing bc we knew we were expecting and now every day we work on the place I cry bc I was already planning what the nursery would look like. Now it's going to be some boring guest bedroom. Im not sure this sadness will ever go away. I miss my baby so much!!! A part of me is missing. How do I get it back?! Maybe it's all stupid bc it happens to so many women but I can't stop asking "why?" Even though I am a huge believer in things happening for a reason. Just not this.

valleric

I should be 30 1/2 weeks. Too many of my friends and coworkers are pregnant or have little kids. I am tired of waiting for my rainbow baby after trying for 1 yr I thought this was it, hen had a mc. 6 months post mc I just get so sad sometimes. Like my life is in limbo just waiting, and here everyone else is with their pregnant bellies and kids and they have no frickin idea how much this all hurts.

tennisbabymama

Today I cried because after my mc almost 4 days ago, today was the first time I didn't feel pregnant anymore.

catherinemccarrell

I cried just now reading all of your posts. I wish I could hug all of you. The hurt is so deep and so real but I truly believe it will get better.

I cried this morning because I saw on the calendar my SIL's 13 week ultrasound is tomorrow. Our EDDs were two weeks apart.

I cried last night because I rode my horse for the first time since finding out I was pregnant. It sank in that I don't have to worry about being extra careful, because there's no baby to protect. It also helped me heal because I didn't realize how not being at the barn and spending so much time with my horse was one of the things that brings joy and strength to my life.

PeggyOlsonFTW

This morning, before my D&C I cried because when DS woke up, I brought him into bed with DH, the dog and me. I realized it would be the last time the five of us would be together like that.

Herfav54

Hi, I'm in need of some grief support group advice. I lost my baby boy on Aug 24th at 16weeks. I don't know how to deal or heal from this. My 1st time being pregnant through IVF. I can't stop thinking about being pregnant which leads to me not being able to stop crying. My heart aches. Please how do I cope, and heal from this. :-< :-<

vintagevice

My heart goes out to everyone here!!! Today I cried because a memo popped up in my email saying that today my baby would be the size of a mango. I lost her when she was a size of a plum.

sassymomma87

I can relate to all of these situations!

Kc0825

Today I cried because yesterday they pulled my 8 week old fetus out and sent it to get test done and the doctor showed it to me and that's the only imagine I have in my head. Also since I already have a 2 year old he's going around telling people mommy has a baby in her belly and I don't anymore and I ordered a bigger diaper bag to support 2 kids stuff and it showed up on my door today.

tennisbabymama

I cried today because my friend posted video of her first ultrasound and my first ultrasound was supposed to be this coming Tuesday at what would have been 10 weeks. I miscarried a week ago. Still waiting for this to get better. The heart break is exhausting.

mjjc7709

I cried today because I had to go to the ER for heavy vaginal bleeding; I took Cytotec 3 weeks ago to "manage a missed miscarriage." Today, I had a D&C. This whole experience has been traumatic.

adrimolina

I cried because after a lot of testing I tested positive for MTHFR and have to see a specialist and when given the printed results of the analysis done to the baby it said: Abnormal Male (Trisomy 18)...I lost it, we didn't know the sex of the baby and I didn't want to know...my baby boy I miss him so much! For some reason knowing that made it even more real and painful..

ceclarlinetlo

I'm crying now in the parking lot of the dentist where I am going to get a cavity filled because if I were still pregnant I wouldn't have had the x-ray yesterday to see it.

fsuswim

One of my Facebook friends posted an article about a woman and her husband who decided to terminate their pregnancy at 21 weeks because the doctor could not confirm that living child she was carrying was forming properly. Breaks my heart in 2.

dvszymanskyj

I cry today because I'm almost positive we've lost our baby. I went in for my 7 week ultrasound and my husband says, this is the miscarriage room and that is the same tech that told us there was no heartbeat before. I was shocked and couldn't believe he said that. As I laid on the table trying to watch my ultrasound, I see her making all the measurements and I wanted to say OK can you get to the baby, the suspense is killing me! But I wait patiently, then she says she sees an irregular sac and no fetal pole. She has to get the opinion of the Dr. She tells me to get dressed as we are done here. I'm like thats it, its done?!? I don't know what to think, what does this all mean?!? We wait for the Dr. And he says let's get some labs done and we can then meet to piece this all together. What just happened?!? I was so confused, I said to my husband, you jinxed us and now they see nothing! That's it, its all over. The Dr. came in to sorta explain. He said, the sac ia irregular and we do not see the fetal pole. He said your dates could be off but we don't know. Let's get your hcg level and we can discuss everything then. Waiting that hour for the labs seemed to be forever, our son, who's 2 is getting antsy. We just want to know! Dr. Comes in and says my hcg level is high at 77,000 and we should of been able to see more today. He's suggests waiting a week and redoing scan to see if this pregnancy is viable or not. I immediately was doing research on all of this and see that this can be common and people have gone back to see the baby and a heartbeat. I try and hold on to this little glimmer of hope. The next day, I wake up and use the bathroom only to see brown spotting that has now continued every time I go. Is this it and how could I start to miscarry that fast?!? My levels were high but as the day progressed I feel slight crampy and start to cry! I feel less pregnant, is it all In my head?!? I don't know what to do! Next week seems so far away. Please help!

sparklepoo

I cry every morning in the car on the way to work. I lost my pregnancy this January, and I think that either August or September, would have been when I was due. It was ectopic. I cried a lot when I lost it. and for the past few months I have been fine with just a few break downs sprinkled in, but basically fine. This month however, it's like my body remembers what was supposed to happen because I just started having spontaneous uncontrollable crying fits out of the blue toward the end of August. I am crying literally every day now and sometimes it doesn't seem to have to be triggered by anything. It just hit me like a ton of bricks. DH and I have not been able to get pregnant yet. I just got my tubes cleared in July so that I can TTC again, but so far...nothing. In the mean time, other relatives have gotten pregnant since I lost mine, and are planning baby showers and their due dates are quickly approaching. Me...I am still TTC. I always cry alone because DH never seems to know what to say, but he is trying to be supportive, but his silence always pisses me off so I just cry alone in the car on the way to work every morning. It also hurts because the holiday season is pretty much here again and it is when I got pregnant. I remember seeing those Old Navy commercials with the pregnant women in the pajama pants and I would think "maybe it will be me soon". Little did I know I already had a little bean growing, but almost as soon as I found out about it, I lost it. Some members of my family are constantly on my back about getting pregnant again and all it does is make me want to avoid them. They act as if DH and are just taking naps together and shaking hands. I can only do so much. Well anyway. I am so glad to see this outlet here. I really needed to share. I don't have anyone else in my life who understands at all.

Vms126

Today I cried because I work at the same hospital that I came in to the ER when I was spotting. Today at work the ER resident that told me I was most likely miscarring came up to my floor to help a patient. I just lost it when I saw him.
And just as I posted this comment a lulabye played overhead in the hospital signifying a baby was just born. Such a blessing I hope that mom realizes just how lucky she is.

adrimolina

I realized I would've been 21 weeks pregnant..

jfwalsh

I cried today. I cry every day because I want my baby boy back :-( And TTC after a loss is a viscous cycle of stress, anxiety, and let-downs (negative preg. tests). It's so frustrating dealing with the stress and anxiety of trying to get pregnant again and knowing that being stressed can affect fertility. Then I get even more stressed that I'm stressing so much! It's so hard :-( Lord help me.....

eliza&james

Today my husband turned 30 and what should have been the greatest gift I could ever give him I lost on Tuesday at 8 weeks due to an ectopic pregnancy. As the symptom of the ectopic surgery are getting better, I feel the pain of loss even more. I can't hardly stand looking at FB for all my friends having babies and I know its wrong to not be supportive. 

penelope4612

I cried yesterday because we talked about Thanksgiving plans.  I thought we were going to announce our pregnancy at Thanksgiving.  I thought we would know the sex of the baby by Christmas.  Now I'm dreading the holidays.  I had an ectopic and had to get methotrexate, so we can't even start trying again until after Christmas.  So I have no pregnancy and no plans to get pregnant in the near future.

mommyTARDIS

I cried today because I hate that I still look pregnant. I know, logically, that I am still going to have a belly for a while and two weeks is not long enough for it to go away.
I lost my baby Sep 10th, at 32 weeks and 5 days, so my belly was showing a fair amount. I can't stand the though of wearing my maternity tops. The only reason I still wear the jeans is b/c they fit and I can hide the maternity part under the tops I've been wearing.

valleric

I told my 2 k (kindergarten) team members back in May that I did not want any part of planning a baby shower for my other coworker who is due five days after when I was supposed to be. Today I found out from a different person at work that they were having a meeting this morning to plan the baby shower. I told them that I was not going. There are still two more people due in the spring who would need baby showers planned for them. Then I went back to my classroom and held it together quite well. Now I'm home and not so good. Sucks.

allishally13

Today I realized after a very painful loss on Tuesday that I will probably not be a mother on mothers's day next year like I was supposed to be... Luckily I'm working from home as I completely broke down all alone at home. Ughhh. :-S

robabywilson

Last night/this morning early our pregnancy ended in miscarriage.  I am feeling physically well at the moment after a terrible night of pain and flowing emotions as I knew exactly what was happening even though I have never gone through this before.  My heart hurts. I hate that I have packages of diapers sitting in a closet, I hate that there is an unopened package of pacifiers and one maternity shirt I bought for future use hanging in my closet.  At this point I am feeling just so MAD. Sad too of course but right now I identify with mad.

ablondine

I can't stop crying... This is my second ectopic. I just came home from the hospital. My partner is away so I'm here by myself. I just feel lost. So lost. I feel truly ok when around others but when alone I keep feeling like I should have known something was off with my body. The doc said I had narrower tubes and couldn't have had any babies anyway. There was nothing I could do. I took my fertility for granted and now it's gone. Both of my Fallopian tubes are gone and my only hope to conceive is in vitro. I don't even feel like trying that afraid that would be another round of disappointment. So crying is all I can do for now.... I was supposed to be 8wks pregnant...

kjgalarza

I'm new to this board particular board, I was on the May 2016 moms but unfortunately I miscarried at 7 weeks because my baby stopped growing at 5 weeks and had no heartbeat.

I cried today because I drove past an suv with a giant stick family on the back window. They had like 9 kids. And I kept wondering to myself, why is it that they can have so many, but I can't even have one. So I cried and dh was very kind and helpful in consoling me. But it's just still hard to believe.

lblair80

I returned a pair of pants I ordered that would have been perfect for work in the winter with a growing belly.

I also cried yesterday when I returned to hot yoga since finding out I was pregnant and then needing to have a D&C two weeks ago. I'm friends with the instructor and she did a reading at the end of class about loss and saying good-bye. It was a great reading but definitely made me feel all the feels.

adrimolina

Today I cried because I realized that October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss awareness month, last October I had my first mc...I had been feeling a bit stronger over the last few days, but I am worried and stressed out and I get really sad about my lost babies. I miss them so much..

Saturday was also tough because I went to a bday party and another mom announced she was pregnant with her third and I there was another woman who had the same due date as I did, complaining about how much she hated to be pregnant...(this is her 4th child) UGH so sad and frustrating!

mowens16

Today I cried because of this post. Because I should be holding my first baby in my arms but instead I'm dealing with the aftermath of my second miscarriage. Today I cried because there are people (my pregnant sil included) that know of my loss and still have not reached out to us.

queen_frostine

Today I cried because I got a letter in the mail from my OB/GYN saying she was moving out of state. So now she won't be my doctor through my next pregnancy. I have an appointment next week that will be my last appointment with her. I'm worried that I won't be able to find another doctor that I can tolerate. I feel like I'll have to start all over. Plus, it's just another thing that won't go as I expected in the future.

megs6787

I cried today because someone announced their pregnancy and I got a baby shower invitation in the mail from another friend. Too much

valleric

So trying to hold it together. My coworker, who is due 10 days after I was, had her baby shower today. I couldn't help myself and looked on fb. How depressing. My due date would have been 11/18, it is closing in on me.

valleric

Totally lost it... Even got hubby crying too with my coworkers baby shower yesterday with her family, then I had to order something from her online registry for her baby shower in a week and a half, just couldn't hold it together.

MillerTime0513

Yesterday on the way home from a weekend visiting friends we drove very close to the hospital where my D&C took place. I managed not to cry, but I felt like I held my breath until we drove out of town.

queen_frostine

@MillerTime0513 Oh no! I drive by both the clinic where I got the bad news ultrasound and the hospital where I got the d&c every day on my way to and from work. I guess it's good, in a way, because I had to get over it. Hope you feel better, too.

nkyokley

Today I cried in the grocery store. My OB's wife is also his office manager, she was my rock through discovering my MMC to my D&C back in August. When we passed each other  in the store I was just flooded with the memories from the last time I saw her I couldn't handle it.

Ciarad6

I cried last night because I went for a meal and could drink wine (another reminder that I am no longer pregnant) . today I cried because I am having cramps ( not sure if it's side effects of d&c or miscarriage or AF or what) but I havnt felt this kinda pain down there since d&c.