DH/SO rants & raves 8/3-8/9

DolphinLover2002

Time for a fresh thread! Let's hear them ladies.

KaLikeAWind

Neither a rant nor a rave, just a frustration. DH got home from weekend duty (he's been gone since Friday morning) about 3 hours ago and my first thought was 'thank the gods. He can feed LO and I can sleep a little longer, then get up and get a shower and go to my drs Appts'. Well, he did feed LO, but was talking to me about this storm we had yesterday which resulted in a bunch of search and rescue cases and boats adrift / broken down cases. So I didn't get to sleep more. No big, it was nice just laying there, not being responsible. So then he is trying to get LO to go back to sleep, and after he started to drift off he handed him to me cause he had to go buy fuel for the lawn edger. And promptly LO woke back up and I ended up with fussy baby anyway. So DH comes back from his errand and is now out doing the lawn.

So, basically, I got ONE FEEDING off of duty. In his defense, the lawn DOES need to be done. He can't do it this afternoon because of my drs visit. He can't do it tomorrow morning because I have this breakfast thing I have to attend for his work (spouse appreciation...bleh. At least I get free breakfast at the yacht club. Food better be good). And tomorrow afternoon he will be preparing to go back to work for the following 2 days.

So much for my dream of having a day where I can relax a little bit

rrcameron21

Can anyone relate?

ksimo6

DH went to bed with the kids last night so I could stay up anD drink wine and visit with cousins by a fire. I laughed so hard that I cried. It was a great night. And a great morning of sleeping in.

lovethatcolosun

After a weekend "home" to see our families, my DH and I started the conversation about a major life change for us, moving from the city back to the country to help out our parents. This means that my husband will be helping out my dad on the farm and with the variety of projects that he always has going on. My parents have always wanted us to move back home, and we've always resisted for one reason or another, but now something has shifted (having two kids). So now begins the process of getting our house ready to sell next year. So blessed to have a husband who cares about taking care of the whole family. ❤️

katyqv

We went to our first big outing over the weekend and DH was so proud to show off LO. He even made sure to put her comb in the diaper bag, ha! It was really sweet and while at the party I couldn't help but think about how thankful and happy I am with our little family. 

JessHeppell

not a rant or rave. im just grumpy.
DH is going to get a tattoo right now and im jealous because ive gotten 1 every summer since i turned 17 (last summer i got 3) and i know it will be a while before i get my next one and it just sucks [-(

Edit: random word removal

gc8luve

rrcameron21 said:

Can anyone relate?

Yup hahaha

rrcameron21

@gc8luve hahahahaha yes!

cheriep3

I started back to work today so that meant getting up at 5 so that I would have time to get LO ready, pump, make dinner, pick up the house and get myself ready. After a very long day I am ready for bedtime. DH feeds LO his last bottle while I pump and LO keeps falling asleep. I tell DH that he needs to eat more so wake him up. I have learned if he doesn't eat before he goes to bed he's up half the night but if he's full, he will sleep through the night. DH "tries" to wake him up then proceeds to put him to bed. So here we are at 3:45 in the morning, awake, while DH is sleeping away and he doesn't have to be up in the morning. One hour till my alarm goes off. Is it even worth going trying to go back to sleep?

beckyk9109

Enough said...

amy4516

So glad I get to post a rave this morning! DH woke up for BOTH feedings (4 am and 7:30 am) and let me pump and just go right back to bed! I feel like a new woman! I did offer him $50 Among other favors though in my sleepy state!

bethanne09

DH is tripping about me having a drink. My friend's bar is doing a beer night with a local brewery and I told him I wanted to go sip and hang and he got all crazy.
Ugh. I just want a drink and a bath (it apparently will take to long) but I guess neither will happen for another ten years.

klkonwi

^^^^ wtf !

ksimo6

@bethanne09 why is having a beer an issue?

mvargas12

I told my husband to talk to the baby and he got mad and was like, "stop making me talk to the baby" and I just looked at him and said, "sorry I'm asking you to talk to your daughter" and his face was just like oh shit, I'm an ass.

He was also mad at me and was slamming doors like a teenager. The baby was sleeping. I could have killed him.

He keeps kissing me and asking about sex and I'm just not into it. I think I'm still too hurt and angry to even think about any of it.

On the bright side, he did sit down and we talked this morning out. He even cleaned up the table when he spilled my water.

Too much!! My baby is keeping me sane. Love my little human<3

KaLikeAWind

bethanne09 said:

DH is tripping about me having a drink. My friend's bar is doing a beer night with a local brewery and I told him I wanted to go sip and hang and he got all crazy.
Ugh. I just want a drink and a bath (it apparently will take to long) but I guess neither will happen for another ten years.

I'm with @klkonwi. Wtf?!!? Its not like you're going to go and get twisted. And a bath...my gods, girl, for a bath you're still in the same house as him and LO! If he is that stressed about having baby duty for the time it takes you to soak, he can always come in the bathroom and ask you what to do! I know this ruins your relaxation time a little bit, but its better than no bath at all?

mamameghan

Rave: hubs takes a baby every night no matter what. We each take one and deal with all the night feedings. And now he's taking the twins so I can swim with DD1. What a great guy!

JMott22

Long time lurker, since October, you ladies have helped me survive pregnancy, THANK YOU ALL!!!! Ugh, DH is about to get smothered with a pillow...he does work a lot (military, and on top of that he works at a boot camp-SUPER LONG HOURS and duties). So here's my rant, he's been gone for 3 days straight, he did come home on Monday to 'spend some time with me and LO', but it turned to be for him to sleep and get some food, he gets home tonight and is complaining about being exhausted and then wants to cuddle with LO only when she is happy, the moment she starts fussing(she whines herself to sleep), I have to take over, he doesn't try to soothe her and tells me how tired he is! That's great LO needs her Daddy-but he comes home and messes up our schedule and I'm left to deal with it while he sleeps...AND HE FORGOT TO BRING ME HOME WINE!!! Please don't flame guys, I have wanted so long to post and am too shy and tonight I am livid that I will be up until who knows bc DH wanted to cuddle and then crapped out following through!!! UGH!!!!

rrcameron21

@jmott22 wake him up and send him to get you wine! It's the least he can do. I'm serious, do it. Some men just really don't realize how hard staying home with a baby 24/7 is! Mama needs to relax!

almakie

Mommy has the flu, LO has the flu and on the way out the the door to catch up with friends SO turned and said you need to rest more your getting run down.

NO SHIT!! How bout you stay home so I can sleep 14 hours, have a long hot shower and have a nice hot meal.

JMott22

Thank you for listening me(I don't know if I'm replying right)and making me think I'm not crazy or too demanding...he needs to step up to the plate. I know he won't wake up, but I don't feel like an a**, for being so ticked off!

KaLikeAWind

@JMott22 my hubs is also military and his work schedule is 2 days on 2 days off. So he is gone 2 and half days straight before being home for 2 days. Every other weekend he will be gone from Friday morning until late Monday morning. So I know what schedule you are running, its a tough one. My hubs also will sleep thru the nighttime stuff if I let him, but I wake him up to do tasks. I breastfeed and supplement with formula, so our nights right now when he is home is I will wake up and change LO, then bring him back to the bedroom to nurse. LO is usually crying by this point, and I just let the kid wail, I don't try to shush him for hub's sake. At least, until I've situated my pillows and got all set up for nursing. If I've forgotten a snack (I snack when I nurse at night) I will send him to get it. Or a bottle of water. Once I am close to being done nursing, I send him to make the bottle. He tried to hand it to me one time and I told him 'its your turn'. I also make him do the diaper change before going back to bed and while he does that, I lie down. By default, he has to soothe LO to sleep, or make it obvious he's being an ass (in which case I can call him on it).

I'm working on getting more assertive about him helping me on the first night he is back home. The second night I'll take on my own as he has to get up early and then go to work for two days again. But that first night, I'm trying to claim as my break night. I still have to nurse but I'm trying to get him to take the majority of the tasks after that. I actually spoke with a counselor who suggested I bring him go a session so we can talk about the distribution of work, and I'm going to make him go sometime soon.

So yeah, send that man back out for that wine. Or, better yet, hand him the kid and go get it yourself. Linger over the selection to make sure you get exactly what you want. You deserve it

Edited - right at the end where I said get what you want, somehow that became Wang. Wtf, perverted ass phone? )

(And apparently I can't spell)

JessHeppell

while talking aloud to LO i mentioned that i was going to go to the store and get water (our tap water is ick and the store was closing in a half hour) but LO was being all needy and wouldnt let me. DH was in the room when i said it and just totally did nothing about it.
i wish he had that sense to be like "oh ill go get some" cause we have my small waterbottle full and he gets super thirsty in the middle of the night and would down the whole thing in 1 go. and the only other stuff we have to drink in the apartment is like 500 ml of water, 1 arizona and a little over a litre of chocolate milk.

he did make up for it by getting a few waters at 7-11 when he went to get himself an energy drink.

and LO "made" DH bath him
i jokingly spoke for LO saying "bathe me dad! bond with me" and as i finished saying it LO made one of his cute attention demanding yells. it was so cute.

7425cait

DH is a great dad so this isn't necessarily a rant, but just like a lot of you, it seems like he has no problem leaving LO in my hands for extended periods of time to take care of. This morning he went downstairs to have breakfast, took a 30 min bathroom break, went on his computer for a while, and then was gone at the gym for 2 hrs. All while I took care of a fussy baby. I'm very lucky to have him home with me as we are both teachers, but he rarely asks if I need help unless LO is screaming. So when he came home I just handed baby over and said I needed an hour of me time. To sleep, to look on my phone, watch tv, stair at the ceiling, whatever. I just didn't want to have to deal with anyone or anything needing me. He did this without complaining, I just wish sometimes he realized that just because LO isn't crying doesn't mean that I don't need a break.

I may institute a daily mommy time where I can just be alone for my sanity.

mvargas12

DH sleeps all night. Fine. I can handle night. But he also sleeps all morning when he doesn't have to work until noon. Not fine. This morning LO woke up around 8 and I woke him up and told him there was a bottle in the fridge, his turn. He did, he grabbed the bottle and tried putting her down to sleep more but she wouldn't. Like dude, she's up. Stop forcing her to go to sleep. Finally he picked her up and then said he had to go to the bathroom so I took her. He was in there for like 15 minutes. You think you're sly? He came back and tried to lay back down to sleep. I handed him the back right back and went back to "sleep". So what does he do? He goes to the living room and puts her on the swing. I thought he did that while he was getting ready for work. Nope. He went to sleep on the couch. Finally I decided my "break" (not really a break) was over and went to rescue my girl. I picked her up and said, "do you even interact with her ever?"

This baby is mine, it seems. All and only mine.

katyqv

@mvargas12 I totally feel you. Not only does DH spend 15-20 mins in the bathroom but he's also a smoker. Ugh. With him working all day and then spending what seems like most of his time in the shitter or outside when he's home, I have to wonder if he's just avoiding LO in the evening since that's his time with her.

Sammy K

Next week is LO's baptism and both sets of grandparents are coming down. I'm already at the end of my rope from a colicky baby, so DH is taking both kids for the weekend and I am going to a hotel to sleep and de-stress. He's a saint. He even told me to book a massage or acupuncture. I'll be happy with a full night's sleep and no crying for a day. Hopefully after a good night's sleep, I'll be looking forward to going home. Right now all I can think about is a quiet room...

laurendutch

Sammy K said:

Next week is LO's baptism and both sets of grandparents are coming down. I'm already at the end of my rope from a colicky baby, so DH is taking both kids for the weekend and I am going to a hotel to sleep and de-stress. He's a saint. He even told me to book a massage or acupuncture. I'll be happy with a full night's sleep and no crying for a day. Hopefully after a good night's sleep, I'll be looking forward to going home. Right now all I can think about is a quiet room...

When my twins were born, I had dreams of going to a hotel and sleeping!!!

mvargas12

Sammy K said:

Next week is LO's baptism and both sets of grandparents are coming down. I'm already at the end of my rope from a colicky baby, so DH is taking both kids for the weekend and I am going to a hotel to sleep and de-stress. He's a saint. He even told me to book a massage or acupuncture. I'll be happy with a full night's sleep and no crying for a day. Hopefully after a good night's sleep, I'll be looking forward to going home. Right now all I can think about is a quiet room...

Wow!! Props to your hubs for looking out and stepping up. Hope your weekend away is everything you need and more. You deserve it!

virginiaunicorn11

Guy at deli: Is your baby sleeping at night?
DH: yeah, he sleeps through the night
Me: ummm... No, I feed him every 2-3 hours
DH: well yeah, but then he goes back to sleep

Not. The. Same.

dianabeee

I'm so annoyed I am crying. So my husband works weekdays, he gets up at 430 for wrk, I obviously take over nights since I am currently a stay at home mom. I admit there are times were I feel frustrated with the baby, but is that a crime??? No i am human. My husband doesn't understand that. He says I've never heard of a mother saying she's frustrated with their baby? I'm like, really try spending one whole day with him, see if u don't feel that way. I dnt know wat it is, but he's getting on my nerves, (husband) also we had not had sex in four months. Not to mention. Our anniversary is coming up, I really was looking forward into planning out something for us, but I'm not planning sh7t. Why should I? He's so distracted and into other things, it makes me feel like I'm not as important, I feel sad, it hurts. I want 2 be with him but I feel like our relationship isn't going anywhere. It also pisses me off that he thinks he can handle a crying/gassy baby tantrum cause he has no idea! I'm so angry, sad, confused, I'm sorry I just had to vent!

charliepepper

DH gives LO a bottle of pumped BM every night around 11pm while I pump at the same time. I just woke up at 1am engorged and totally confused. Apparently DH fed LO at 11, but forgot to wake me up. Um, forgot?!? How is that possible? He feeds the baby in our bed, where I was sleeping next to them! I'm really upset because I don't have a good supply and can pump 3oz max, and have been working so hard to try and build up my supply as well as a freezer stash for work. This was a completely lost opportunity. So now I'm down one precious pumped bottle

rklinge0

Dh lost his job a few weeks ago so I was working part time these past few weeks so we had some income coming in and he was on baby duty so we didn't have to worry about child care. Well this week he went back to serving and was supposed to take lo to his mom's house today so we didn't have to worry about paying someone. I get her ready this morning and get her bag ready so all he had to do was take her. He told me after all of this that he forgot he was supposed to take her and asked if I could take her. The trip was over an hour round trip out of my way so I just called a friend and gave her some cash so I didn't have to drive.
But I was so livid cause I had taken care of scheduling the days this week that we needed child care and he literally had one job, drop her off. I was also looking forward to 2 hrs with no baby to get things done this morning, well that didn't happen.

klkonwi

@rklinge0 bummer lady! Men!!!
@Sammy K so jealous! Our baptism is tomorrow and I have too many people coming into town and really just want sleep......I need a Xanax bad....

Sammy K

@klkonwi I think DH knew if I don't get some real sleep, I might run off to Mexico after a weekend with both sets of grandparents.

DolphinLover2002

Rave: My DH is amazing. With our ds, we had a system for night feedings. Dh would change his diaper, then get me whatever I needed as I fed him. Then he'd go back to bed. I would feed him, swaddle and put him back down. If I couldn't get him back down, I'd wake dh and he would try.

This time around its much different. We have twin girls. He changes them as I get what I need. Then I feed them and he either sleeps on the couch or watches tv. When they're done eating, he swaddles them and puts them back down as I pump. I'd be screwed if I had to do it all by myself. He's an amazing helper!

devyns2nd

@Sammy K have you ever considered polygamy?

Rant: DH is working on a big job and I have been handling school prep for FIVE children. That a lot of shopping! Well when school started I took a day to rest and didn't stress about laundry (avg 4 loads a day), cooking, or cleaning until later in the day so I was behind by the time he got home. When he walked in he says "can you try to have dinner done when I get home?" I almost exploded I was so angry. I was ready to divorce this man!!!

He apologized but don't think for a second I'm going to have dinner ready when he walks in for at least a week

KarasTwin

I'm going to smother him with a pillow. I didn't sleep last night because I'm terrified LO is going to stop breathing because of this stupid upper respiratory infection. Poor kid kept spitting up. Now DH is passed out and snoring so loud I could kill him. A few minutes ago LO started coughing/strangling so I snatched him up out of the p&p to pat his back/elevate him and in the process I pulled the covers off DH who started pulling them out from under me and nearly knocked me and LO over. Then he had the nerve to act offended when I yelled at him.

virginiaunicorn11

I know DH is trying his best. He is a great father. Great. And he tries to be a good husband. We have always had an awesome relationship, and I've loved him for 10 years. But damn this new parent thing is getting to us. I find myself really resenting him and everything he's doing. And I know he feels the same. On the one hand, I think maybe some alone time would help. On the other, the last thing I want to do is be alone with him.
I know it's normal. And I'm not worried, because we are able to acknowledge things are just stressful. And we do love each other deeply, and are both trying like mad to make it better. But I'm naive and just didn't think this would be us. It makes me a little sad.

bethanne09

Our thermostat broke and it's 100 degrees outside. Obviously DH and I are about to to murder each other while LO and I sit in front of the freezer.
I keep getting it running and he goes behind me and fidgets with it and it stops again. Can he please just get over the fact that I'm the handy man in this family...