Crap! It's a BOY?!?

brimck10

My BF & I went in for a gender reveal yesterday & yup...it's a boy. Deep down I had a feeling he would be...but I was hoping for a girl still. We already had names picked out & everything lol. He was very active & cooperative so we saw his boy part immediately! Now I have to wait 4 weeks for the anatomy scan...*anxiety kicks back in* praying that our son is healthy

Alyllyra

Dear diary...

DylansCandyBar

brimck10 said:

My BF & I went in for a gender reveal yesterday & yup...it's a boy. Deep down I had a feeling he would be...but I was hoping for a girl still. We already had names picked out & everything lol. He was very active & cooperative so we saw his boy part immediately! Now I have to wait 4 weeks for the anatomy scan...*anxiety kicks back in* praying that our son is healthy

"Crap it's a boy...."

Who even says stuff like that? Sigh.

MrsBwIVF

What a wonderful thing to say after finding out you have a beautiful boy growing inside you, "Crap! It's a boy?!?!" (Please read that in a sarcastic tone.)

From what I can see from your ultrasound, other than personal information you should crop out, it looks likes he's growing big, healthy and strong. You should be ecstatic that you are having a healthy child growing inside of you!

taysun

Edited because it posted twice

taysun

Congratulations on your baby boy, hopefully he's healthy and hopefully he never sees your initial reaction here.

mollypuss1

What an awful thread title

Krisdee123

I'm sure all the ladies who have lost their babies will sympathize greatly with your disappointment. Maybe consider others feelings before posting something like that. But, congrats? I think?

ChiccoBeanz

I'm just going to say that ALL babies, regardless of their SEX are BLESSINGS. Congrats on your baby boy and I guess welcome to team blue. I hope he is healthy, but that title was so distasteful.... I suggest lurking a bit. "Gender disappointment" doesn't go over well around here. Take care.

queenwog

Why are you having a child if you feel so strongly about the sex? You should have known going in that you had a 50/50 chance of having a boy and you should have been okay with that. I'm sorry you think having a boy is crap. At least he's alive and healthy. I feel bad for him, though, that he has to live with your feelings that he's not the girl you truly wanted.

spottedginger

This isn't going to go over well. You can search and find some other "gender" disappointment threads. Generally speaking, you are going to get flamed for this and I am okay with that. Congrats on your baby boy.

ChiccoBeanz

I tried to just ignore this and not say anything else, but as someone who is going through testing and making sure that my boy is healthy, this was just.... Idk what adjective to even use. I know my story isn't your story, and maybe you were looking for support on your thoughts here, but I'm not the only one like me, with my story here. It is also difficult and somewhat hurtful for someone to post something like this and expect support , if that is what you expect, when so many of us here have suffered losses, or are having testing issues. By all means, you are entitled to your feelings. I just think that in the future, maybe you should lurk some more and see what type of audience you are posting to. A lot of women are NOT going to take kindly to this post. Some of us will still try to help, even though this post offended us or stung, and others may agree with you. I just wanted to clue you in a bit, so that you'll understand people's reactions and hopefully participate in a more, I guess universal, manner in the future. I hope that helps. Best of luck to your and your family.

PugsandKisses

Since you are not happy with your child having a penis, I will take him from you.
I will give him the love, support, and caring home he deserves.

Also, I think King Henry is crying.

MrsBwIVF

PugsandKisses said:

Since you are not happy with your child having a penis, I will take him from you.
I will give him the love, support, and caring home he deserves.

Also, I think King Henry is crying.

THIS!!!! I know of a few fantastic couples that will do anything short of murder and kidnapping to have a beautiful little one to love and cherish.

groovylocks

Actually it's pretty normal to be disappointed and to have a twinge of sadness when it's not the sex you were hoping for. Every pregnant woman who had her hopes up for one and got the other had the same reaction. The difference between you and most women is that you're not afraid to be honest about it. I felt similarly for a second when I found out about my girl but it goes away pretty fast. You'll start to really embrace it in a short time I am obsessed with her now. She even has her name!

groovylocks

For the record, I have had a loss. And my husband was told he was unlikely to conceive. And I still understand, you're only human, op. Your feelings are your feelings. And you're allowed to have them. Even around here. Women are frequently given the impression that we need to have nothing but wonderful feelings about everything our child is and does or we are bad mothers. This is very sexist and unfair. Just because you're making people doesn't mean you're no longer entitled to your own weird feelings about stuff. And yeah ok... It's a weird feeling. But it doesn't mean you're unfit or somehow don't fit into a mother hat anymore. I am very protective of a woman's rights to feel all kinds of crap that typical society deems 'unmotherly' from time to time. Congrats on your healthy little son. You're gonna fall right in love!

duckinoven

"Crap, it's a boy" is your reaction to finding out the sex? Was your reaction similar when you found out you were pregnant? As nearly all PP stated this doesn't go over well usually. Disappointed in the sex? I suggest sharing those feelings with your partner, family, and medical team, not with a group of strangers, many who have far more serious concerns than pink vs blue.

I hope your feelings pass quickly and you are able to start planning for your son with the same excitement you had when you hoped it was a girl. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy

MrsBwIVF

@groovylocks, there is a HUGE difference between what you call a "twinge of sadness" and feeling the need to go onto a public forum filled with women who have had losses or are struggling with a rough diagnosis with their little one, and complain that your healthy baby has a penis.

I would also like to make it clear that the general consensus around here in regard to sex disappointment, is not sexist. I believe if there were men on here who posted about their disappointment, he would get the exact same reaction from us.

ChiccoBeanz

Yeah... the whole sexist comment was ignorant and unfounded. This forum is majority women. If the dads were on here posting things like this, people would still be offended. Just like people are offended by such an ignorant comment. But then again, we shouldn't be suprised....but I digress.

hummingbird35

I think @groovylocks used the wrong word. Sexist doesn't apply. But the way society pressures women with regard to motherhood IS problematic (I have a certificate in Women's/ Gender Studies and we talked about this quite a bit). Misogynistic might be a better word. Women get dumped on if they don't fit the perfect, self-sacrificing, nurturing, etc. motherhood role. And it's not just men who do it, in fact it's more effective when women are doing the policing. I think that sometimes, mothers are going to have these feelings. But, as a human being in a community (whether online or not) you need to know your audience. This kind of post comes off as ungrateful and blasé toward many other women's pain. ("Crap!" really?)

Hawaiianmama17

What's the point of this post??? Just to say it sucks that you are having a healthy son? Or ??? Did you have a question??? A little confused!!!!! Congratulations on your healthy baby... And while I'm at it congratulations to all the ladies for being pregnant on a pregnancy 2nd trimester board...

rmj28

ChiccoBeanz said:

I tried to just ignore this and not say anything else, but as someone who is going through testing and making sure that my boy is healthy, this was just.... Idk what adjective to even use. I know my story isn't your story, and maybe you were looking for support on your thoughts here, but I'm not the only one like me, with my story here. It is also difficult and somewhat hurtful for someone to post something like this and expect support , if that is what you expect, when so many of us here have suffered losses, or are having testing issues. By all means, you are entitled to your feelings. I just think that in the future, maybe you should lurk some more and see what type of audience you are posting to. A lot of women are NOT going to take kindly to this post. Some of us will still try to help, even though this post offended us or stung, and others may agree with you. I just wanted to clue you in a bit, so that you'll understand people's reactions and hopefully participate in a more, I guess universal, manner in the future. I hope that helps. Best of luck to your and your family.

This. Exactly this.
And the boy I'm carrying has Down syndrome and NOT ONCE did I feel "bad" or "disappointed".
Congratulations on your healthy son.

fmraglio

I wasn't going to post anything because quite frankly posts like this are a major eyeroll in my opinion, but you are the SAME PERSON who wrote a post awhile back about being afraid of not liking your child or being scared of not wanting to hold them because they were ugly...and yet here you are saying "Oh crap it's a boy." Nice. Real nice.

I hope to God that your son doesn't read the stuff you put on this forum because "I hope I don't hate my baby" and "Oh crap it's a boy" are words that can really hurt a child of any age.

Edited to fix a mistake.

DylansCandyBar

Time to update the post-it.

QueenWaldorf4

groovylocks said:

For the record, I have had a loss. And my husband was told he was unlikely to conceive. And I still understand, you're only human, op. Your feelings are your feelings. And you're allowed to have them. Even around here. Women are frequently given the impression that we need to have nothing but wonderful feelings about everything our child is and does or we are bad mothers. This is very sexist and unfair. Just because you're making people doesn't mean you're no longer entitled to your own weird feelings about stuff. And yeah ok... It's a weird feeling. But it doesn't mean you're unfit or somehow don't fit into a mother hat anymore. I am very protective of a woman's rights to feel all kinds of crap that typical society deems 'unmotherly' from time to time. Congrats on your healthy little son. You're gonna fall right in love!

Wait wut? You have completely lost me.
How is it sexist? And just because you have no problems with op's "gender disappointment" it doesn't mean others of us who have had losses don't find this to be salt in the wound.

brimck10

Trust me NOTHING any of you mothers have hurt my feelings with what I guess was supposed to be "hurtful" LOL. Btw "oh crap" was pure sarcasm but I know those who troll for post like mine couldn't wait to try to bad talk me. GUESS WHAT?! I could care less if you're mad that I was imagining dressing up a little girl. & since the very beginning of my pregnancy I have prayed for a healthy child. For someone that has been diagnosed with anxiety TRUST ME I know the gender is the least of my worries. So please go talk down on someone who cares because I'm not here for any of the negative (but funny) remarks.

As for women who have had loses...I am deeply sorry but I cannot show sympathy for a nasty woman.

brimck10

Also I will have NO PROBLEM telling my son that I was hoping he was a girl! Like really?! He will very well know that he is loved regardless. And as for my old post about PPD ... I had numerous women telling me their experiences with it all at once & this concerned me.

For the woman questioning my post, if you don't see a question that you can answer just hit that nice button that reads "Back"

duckinoven

brimck10 said:

Trust me NOTHING any of you mothers have hurt my feelings with what I guess was supposed to be "hurtful" LOL. Btw "oh crap" was pure sarcasm but I know those who troll for post like mine couldn't wait to try to bad talk me. GUESS WHAT?! I could care less if you're mad that I was imagining dressing up a little girl. & since the very beginning of my pregnancy I have prayed for a healthy child. For someone that has been diagnosed with anxiety TRUST ME I know the gender is the least of my worries. So please go talk down on someone who cares because I'm not here for any of the negative (but funny) remarks.

As for women who have had loses...I am deeply sorry but I cannot show sympathy for a nasty woman.

Good grief, that is one nasty reply.

modanz1

Why are there so many people who want a child to be a certain sex because of the clothes options?  I hear this all the time, "I want a girl so I can put her in a tutu, etc."  It's as if they don't realize there are many stages to life.  I just don't get the importance of the kid's clothes.  

groovylocks

ChiccoBeanz said:

Yeah... the whole sexist comment was ignorant and unfounded. This forum is majority women. If the dads were on here posting things like this, people would still be offended. Just like people are offended by such an ignorant comment. But then again, we shouldn't be suprised....but I digress.

Oh hush now. You're all just trying to make her feel demonized because of feelings she's having that she came here for help rationalizing. She's asking for some reassurance. Shame on you guys.

groovylocks

**Removed for TOU violation**

DylansCandyBar

groovylocks said:

Sorry op. You came here for support and words of reason. You may not find that here.

What to expect has some great and supportive resources on this, and lots of other, questions.

Yeah...toddle on over there. Peace out. Don't the door hit you where the good Lord split you.

ChiccoBeanz

@groovylocks ... if you don't like what I say, hit the ignore button. I did that for your account days ago and my experience on this forum has been made 100000000000x more pleasant. In fact, I only know that you addressed me because someone else let me know. Have a happy and healthy pregnancy. 

ETA: To fix a typo. I also have to say that I'm with @DylansCandyBar on this one. I tried being nice to OP and her response to the group who has responded to her was just YIKES.

fmraglio

OP, no one was trying to "hurt your feelings" you just didn't get the responses you were looking for and THAT is what got you all worked up.

If you truly didn't care what we had to say then why did you come post in the first place? AW much? I have zero sympathy for people who talk how you do in posts and then want to come here for attention...I mean "support"

fmraglio

Oh and also, thinking your baby is ugly is NOT the same as PPD. Your previous post I mentioned wasn't about PPD but about you being worried your baby would be ugly or you wouldn't like him. There's a HUGE difference in my book. 

And don't use anxiety as an excuse because there are many people on TB who suffer from severe anxiety and don't act the way you do, or say the offensive things you do, so it does nothing but hurt your case further when you try to blame your behavior on your illness. Take responsibility for your words and don't blame them on a diagnosis.

danasphillips

Crap, you really shouldn't have had a child if you weren't okay having a boy.

WhitMathis

I had imagined I would have a girl and at our scan we were pleasantly surprised by his boy part!
Our little boy is already rocking my world because I really thought he was a she lol but I wasn't disappointed. I agree there are many women that have lost children and all they want is a healthy child. I can understand being shocked but phrasing your title with "oh crap" didn't come off great to a group of pregnant women. I don't feel like that was your intention but unfortunately, on the Internet, your "tone" isn't easily determined. Wishing you a happy healthy pregnancy and a healthy little guy!

brimck10

I didn't realize I had to filter every single word for ADULT WOMEN just because you're pregnant. Nor do I need attention. But thanks for giving it to me I guess & telling me I don't deserve a kid because I hoped for a certain sex HA !! You all are SO entertaining. Good bye & don't reply on any of my other post since they upset you all so much.

Ken122014

OP's responses just make me think this whole thread was MUD and didn't deserve any responses in the first place.

mollypuss1

brimck10 said:

As for women who have had loses...I am deeply sorry but I cannot show sympathy for a nasty woman.

Speechless

fmraglio

Ken122014 said:

OP's responses just make me think this whole thread was MUD and didn't deserve any responses in the first place.

That's what I thought too after I reading through her other threads to try and find the one I was referencing. None of her stories add up. Should have known.