I wouldn't rely on phone calls either. There was a dad that didn't usually drop his child off and forgot he had that responsibility that day. He went to work and the daycare called the mom at the END of the day. She called dear hubby and he ran outside only to find that it was tragically too late to save his child. I think the best thing may be just to leave the purse/phone/ wallet/briefcase whatever you take with a normal routine right next to the baby/child.
I definitely agree @nik6499. I've never parked my car in a garage before this past week. In the last week, I have left the house and had to turn around about half the time to make sure the garage door was closed. Every time I got back, it was closed! I had automatically closed it and couldn't remember closing it by the time I was down the street. Some of that may be baby brain, but I know me, and I know that is also morning brain!
I've made plenty of forgetful mistakes. Things such as leaving my car running overnight or even 3 days once. Yup my car just ran for 3 days straight! ( I have Prius so the car just sits in idle and runs on battery most of the time when in idle so it never ran out of gas.) But to my point, I still can't see how anyone could forget their child! It's your child! It's different..it's a not only a living thing, it's connected to you. I just can't see how it can be an accident but then again I'm a STHM so my whole day consists of my child so I just can't fathom how anyone could forget their child.
Honestly I would hope that this would never happen to me but I can't say for sure. At times I do get distracted and I have gotten to work and just double checked the car seat just to make sure. I know my daycare calls by 9am if I haven't dropped DD off or they didn't get a text from me. Another thing that helps is that I keep her bag in the front seat with my stuff so if I look over I can tell if its still there.
Also for the person who said it doesn't happen to men, this one happened to a dad in May of this year. Luckily he remembered and called the police as soon as he could.
I forgot to drop my daughter of at school once. I pulled up to the school dropped my boys off. DD was being super slow and quiet. Once the boys got out they said bye and shut their doors. I drove off with her still in the backseat. About 5 min later I heard her ask "where are we going now?" I had to turn around to take her back. Her oldest brother would walk her to her class so when I pulled back up to the school he was outside waiting. He had realized she didn't get out and came to see if I was bringing her back. She was 5 at the time in kindergarten. If she had not said anything or had been asleep I could have very easily driven all the way to work. And who knows if I would have seen her once I got there. Yes she was 5 and could have gotten out of the truck but Idk if she would have known where to go. It's scary and it could happen to anyone.
I forgot to drop my daughter of at school once. I pulled up to the school dropped my boys off. DD was being super slow and quiet. Once the boys got out they said bye and shut their doors. I drove off with her still in the backseat. About 5 min later I heard her ask "where are we going now?" I had to turn around to take her back. Her oldest brother would walk her to her class so when I pulled back up to the school he was outside waiting. He had realized she didn't get out and came to see if I was bringing her back. She was 5 at the time in kindergarten. If she had not said anything or had been asleep I could have very easily driven all the way to work. And who knows if I would have seen her once I got there. Yes she was 5 and could have gotten out of the truck but Idk if she would have known where to go. It's scary and it could happen to anyone.
When I was in kindergarten, my dad drove me to his work once. We were having a nice chat, and instead of driving me to school, he drove to his work instead. When we got there is when he said, "What in the world am I doing?" and then drove me to school.
I forgot to drop my daughter of at school once. I pulled up to the school dropped my boys off. DD was being super slow and quiet. Once the boys got out they said bye and shut their doors. I drove off with her still in the backseat. About 5 min later I heard her ask "where are we going now?" I had to turn around to take her back. Her oldest brother would walk her to her class so when I pulled back up to the school he was outside waiting. He had realized she didn't get out and came to see if I was bringing her back. She was 5 at the time in kindergarten. If she had not said anything or had been asleep I could have very easily driven all the way to work. And who knows if I would have seen her once I got there. Yes she was 5 and could have gotten out of the truck but Idk if she would have known where to go. It's scary and it could happen to anyone.
When I was in kindergarten, my dad drove me to his work once. We were having a nice chat, and instead of driving me to school, he drove to his work instead. When we got there is when he said, "What in the world am I doing?" and then drove me to school.
Hahahaha that made me legit belly laugh. I can see DH doing that.
I just want to chime in that I feel just as much rage when an animal is left in a car. We have a local business that will come open up the vehicle if an animal or child is left in the car.
I used to think there was no way dh or I would forget a kid in a vehicle, and then one day it happened. We were moving from GA to CA, and had been driving for 5 days. We were tired and stressed out. For most of the trip dh and I each had 2 kids in our vehicles, but that morning 3 kids wanted to ride with dh, and we didn't think it would be a problem. We stopped at a rest stop to use the bathroom and eat lunch. Everyone got out, used the restroom, and we started eating lunch. At that point I realized only 3 kids were at the table, and I asked if our 9yo ds was still in the bathroom. Dh said ds hadn't gone to the bathroom (he always waits for the boys to be done before leaving the bathroom.) He went and checked anyway, ds wasn't there. We were looking all over for him and one of our other kids said he was asleep in the truck. Dh then ran out to his truck, and sure enough ds was locked in the back seat. It was well over 100 degrees at that stop, he was bright red and soaked in sweat, and completely panicked. We think it had only been about 10-15 minutes, but it was so hot there and the truck was like an oven. Ds couldn't open the back doors of the truck because the kiddie locks were on. (One of my other kids had opened the door while dh was driving down the highway the day before.) Ds didn't realize that he could climb over the seat and still get out through the front doors. Anyway, thankfully he was ok. Dh and I usually count and make sure we have everyone everywhere we go, but for some reason it just didn't happen that day.
Parents make mistakes and accidents happen. I just hope that the mistakes I make don't permanently injure or kill my child. If it can be proven that a parent intentionally left their child (or pet) in the car, then yes they should face charges. I'm just really not sure in other cases though.
Leaving my as yet unborn baby locked in the car is my current big, irrational fear. I'm having nightmares about it! I pray that we remain ever vigilant once he arrives. I'm thinking of various ways to remind my forgetful self to check every time I exit the vehicle. I've considered a car seat mirror, leaving both shoes and/or my classroom key in the back seat, and diaper bag in the front. I know there's a way to set my phone to send a reminder when I arrive at a certain location; I need to figure out that setting.
I think it's more prevalent now because adults' schedules are more full and hectic than they used to be. Remember, too, it isn't just parents. I used to nanny and the dad would text me daily to ask if everyone made it outside of the car and inside the house. When a friend returned to work after having her first baby I'd text asking if Baby made it to her daycare alright.
I DID THIS. Like all of you, I was sure I'd never forget my baby in the car. But one day, I had to run into a store to pick up something and I accidently left my infant in the car seat in the back. Fortunately the weather was mild and I was only gone for a few minutes. When I walked back to my car, I was shocked to see my baby smiling up at me from inside the car - how could I have done that? I still don't have an answer. STAY VIGILANT.
I drive myself crazy checking and double-check in now everytime I get out of the car. However, it is a lot easier to stay connected with my dd in the car now that she is forward facing.
What is does the law say is the age that a person can be in a car alone? It seems ambiguous. Like some other posters, I was left with my sister all the time when mom ran in for something quick or we just didn't want to go in... I think we were like 10+ and we lived in rural America where everyone knows everyone.
"There is more to us than we know. Perhaps, if we are made to see it just once, for the rest of our lives we will be unwilling to settle for less." - Kurt Hahn, Founder of Outward Bound
What is does the law say is the age that a person can be in a car alone? It seems ambiguous. Like some other posters, I was left with my sister all the time when mom ran in for something quick or we just didn't want to go in... I think we were like 10+ and we lived in rural America where everyone knows everyone.
10+ and with a sibling is waaaaay different from a 1 or 2 yr old alone.
The laws differ state to state. My state clearly doesn't have the laws that most of yours do. It's also not a heat/cold concern for half the year. That being said, I've never forgotten her in there, but that's because she is with me 24/7, so it would be very strange to ever be alone.
This article is from 2009, but is one I think everyone should read. Especially for those who can't imagine how it happens; this talks about exactly that. It's a tough but necessary read. Find a moment when you can take some time to yourself and read through it. And grab a tissue, you'll need it.
I can't understand how you forget your child... I don't leave my boy in the car for any reason but I understand if you leave them to pump gas. Anything that takes me out of his line of vision or requires parking the car he comes with me, no matter how quick the task. Everyone thinks they're so quick but life happens. When I picked up dinner yesterday the restaurant was empty and one person was ahead of me mid-order. My pick-up was literally in and out less than 2 minutes but the lady took 10 minutes to finish placing her order bc she had to call home and ask her family about specifications they requested and debate additional choices. 12 minutes in the car in 90+ temps could be deadly for a toddler. Plus what if someone decides to steal your car? That's too many what ifs for me. Just take them with you and save yourself the heartache and jail time.
@LC122 That article made me cry. You're right; everyone should read it-- especially those claiming that it could never happen to them, or that they don't understand how it could happen.
This has become a big fear of mine. Trying to talk to bf about it is hard because he is one of those who thinks 'I would never do that..." Maybe I will be able to get him to read the article. It truly does seem to be a case of failed memory, not failed love in most cases (obviously there are negligent, criminal exceptions to this statement). What a nightmare.
I'm thankful that where we have looked for child care is in the next building and the across the street. With SO's new job, he may just use public transportation. We don't drive too often, and when we do, we are together. I think being a team will help us with this a lot. But this is a huge fear. I also live next to A LOT of family, so someone to watch LO isn't an issue, but this is still so scary to me. That article was depressing.
I don't think she "forgot" to take her kid with her as she seemed to remember the other child she had in her care, I think the kid had prob been screaming it's head off for a while (prob over tired) then fell asleep and the mum thought rather than wake her up from her much needed sleep she would just quickly pop in and get what she needed, she left the windows cracked so it shows she knew what she was doing and maybe she ended up getting more shopping than she originally thought she would, and most kids sweat in their car seats while asleep anyways, I know my sons always wet on his head and back on a hot day even with the air on or the windows open and even during summer in his cot at night he used to sweat and still does now at 8 years old, what this woman did was wrong and whether she knows that is only she can answer but she knew she left that child there Ps my hubby's mum worked with a woman who's child died from being left in a hot car
I won't judge someone who makes a mistake. Whats scary is all of the people who are intoxicated or high and forget their child that way. Or the plain terrible parents who decide to go ahead and leave a child in the car, rather than deal with taking them in somewhere. Accidents happen and people are forgetful. I'm a horribly forgetful person and I worry about leaving my baby in the car. It can happen to anyone. My parents forgot me in an old house we were moving from when I was 7. If my brothers hadn't reminded them I was in the bathroom at the end of the mile long driveway, they probably would have made it to state lines and realized at the gas station. They are pretty great parents, but nobody is perfect. It is the people who knowingly and willingly put their child in danger that really irk me. Isn't there some sort of wristband that both parent and child wear and if they get a certain distance apart it alerts? I believe it was intended for taking an older child into public, but I would put one on myself or purse, the other on the car seat.
Personally, I agree that accidents happen. But I have some issues with people that just don't want to be bothered with their kids and the tantrums. I know tantrums can be draining and embarrassing. I'm an older sister, cousin, Godmother, teacher, and I've worked with children since I was 15. I get it. Sometimes you don't want to deal. I just don't understand how people think that leaving their child in a car is an okay form of discipline or child care. Leaving your kid in a parking lot at a walmart is different from double parking/parking and running into a corner store. Even then, why would you leave your child unattended from you and venture further than you would if you were at a park? Why would you leave your child in a car alone under the age of 13? If you'd take your child out of the car while sleeping to put them in the stroller any other time, why is this time different? A lot of the reasoning doesn't make sense to me. Sometimes kids and parents both have to do things that they just don't want to do. Make the kid come to the store with you. If they are 1 or 2, like the children in these past 2 reports, they have NO say. If they cry, soothe them and then put them in the seat. If you are in a rush, maybe when you are with your child, that isn't the time to go to Costco. I'm not saying these ppl are bad parents, or that I'm judging them to be. I'm just thinking of a whole bunch of reasons and questions that should be thought about before leaving a child in a car alone, when under the age of 13. I say 13 because they'll be entering high school and I personally think that is a little more of a responsible age. You can send a 13 yr old to the grocery store down the block alone, but I wouldn't send a 10 or 1 or 2 yr old...so that is my thought process. We're all different and I'm sure we will be awesome mothers in our own rights, but some of this just makes no sense to me. I mean from what I've seen in reports and read in articles.
The ones I feel sympathy for are the ones who sincerely just forgot. I.e., they drove to work thinking they dropped LO off at daycare. So terrifying and tragic.
Wow, that was hard to watch. How can a parent be that neglectful? I am not saying it is right in any circumstance, but especially on a hot day? What was she thinking? I live in Vegas where temperatures get up to 115+ and it drives me crazy just to see a dog trapped in a vehicle, let alone a child! Where I am, I can literally bake cookies on my dashboard. There are so many stories of babies left for just minutes while the parents went in to a fast food place only to come out and discover a body in their car. It may have to do with where I'm from, and maybe it's not so dramatic in places with milder climates, perhaps less crime in the area etc. but with where I was raised the thought of leaving a child (or animal) in a car is absolutely inconceivable and beyond neglectful, it's attempted murder. If a kid is left intentionally in a car here in Vegas I am all for having that parent arrested, and having their custody rights revoked. Obviously they are missing a screw in their heads and shouldn't be in charge of a helpless person's life. It literally only takes minutes to cook a baby in a car here, there's no excuse good enough to leave them. Not sure if I would feel differently if I lived somewhere with cooler temperatures, I think at this point it's as ingrained in me as not doing drugs or drinking while pregnant, it's just obviously not something that should be done.
That's not even to mention the danger of a stranger kidnapping them. 20 minutes of peaceful grocery shopping could potentially lead to a lifetime of wondering who stole your child out of your car and what they did with them....worth it? Obviously not.
Re: Kids locked in cars
Honestly I would hope that this would never happen to me but I can't say for sure. At times I do get distracted and I have gotten to work and just double checked the car seat just to make sure. I know my daycare calls by 9am if I haven't dropped DD off or they didn't get a text from me. Another thing that helps is that I keep her bag in the front seat with my stuff so if I look over I can tell if its still there.
Also for the person who said it doesn't happen to men, this one happened to a dad in May of this year. Luckily he remembered and called the police as soon as he could.
https://abcnews.go.com/US/massachusetts-dad-realizes-forgot-year-baby-car-calls/story?id=31021181
Jamie
Hahahaha that made me legit belly laugh. I can see DH doing that.
I think it's more prevalent now because adults' schedules are more full and hectic than they used to be. Remember, too, it isn't just parents. I used to nanny and the dad would text me daily to ask if everyone made it outside of the car and inside the house. When a friend returned to work after having her first baby I'd text asking if Baby made it to her daycare alright.
It takes a village.
I drive myself crazy checking and double-check in now everytime I get out of the car. However, it is a lot easier to stay connected with my dd in the car now that she is forward facing.
It's a tough but necessary read. Find a moment when you can take some time to yourself and read through it. And grab a tissue, you'll need it.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html
Ps my hubby's mum worked with a woman who's child died from being left in a hot car
Accidents happen and people are forgetful. I'm a horribly forgetful person and I worry about leaving my baby in the car. It can happen to anyone. My parents forgot me in an old house we were moving from when I was 7. If my brothers hadn't reminded them I was in the bathroom at the end of the mile long driveway, they probably would have made it to state lines and realized at the gas station. They are pretty great parents, but nobody is perfect. It is the people who knowingly and willingly put their child in danger that really irk me.
Isn't there some sort of wristband that both parent and child wear and if they get a certain distance apart it alerts? I believe it was intended for taking an older child into public, but I would put one on myself or purse, the other on the car seat.