So my doctors office called me this morning, right? And the lady said the other day she would call if my 3 hour test came back bad, so they called and I came in and everything. And apparently I'm totally good! 3 hour test came back normal, urine is clear, blood pressure is good, and baby isnt looking too big anymore! Yay!
Is it bad that I'm 30 weeks today and I still have nothing put together? Like our nursery is a disaster area - the last room with boxes in it. I haven't had any energy to do anything in there. Neither has dh. And we still don't have our 0-6 month clothes. Why am I so out of control and not worried this go around?
DS1 - 9/21/11
DS2 - 7/4/14
DS3 - 2/21/16 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
@soxfan9968. I'm sorry. DH is the total opposite. I can't imagine living with a clean freak although I am sure at times it has it's advantages. DH literally cleans nothing unless I ask him. Mess does not bother him. This is why we have a cleaning lady. He would rather pay than help which is fine by me.
@2goofykids -Congrats on your results! I got the call this afternoon that I passed my 3 hour as well. So relieved especially since I already have my BP to worry about!
Is it bad that I'm 30 weeks today and I still have nothing put together? Like our nursery is a disaster area - the last room with boxes in it. I haven't had any energy to do anything in there. Neither has dh. And we still don't have our 0-6 month clothes. Why am I so out of control and not worried this go around?
Same here... Our nursery has the carpet ripped up with no replacement in sight. When I mentioned to DH the baby could very likely be here in 60 days and we need carpet he replies with "yeah 6-0, now I'd be worried if you said '6 days'". FFS neither of us is motivated. At least I know my baby will have a pack n play to sleep in and diapers to wear, but that might be it.
March 2016 Moms: January Siggy Challenge "Pregnancy Problems"
Well I went through that entire bag of clothes- I still need 0-6 month clothes (3-6 will need to be mostly summer clothes), but there was a TON of clothes from 6-18 months!
Now my mom is driving me nuts. We were supposed to go look at a dresser tomorrow. Now instead she and stepdad are going to the movies then THEY will go get a dresser. I hope they know to look for a white one...
February Siggy Challenge- Post pregnancy indulgences
I am kind of freaking out. The plan was to head back to STL tomorrow for NYE and mostly to surprise my mom for her 60th. All of the routes to get to her house (or MILs) are closed due to flooding. She is literally on some flood-made island. We could ask BIL if we could stay at their house to try and wait it out until our bday plan on Saturday but they are very particular people and we have 3 dogs so I am hesitant to ask and put them out. Damn this crazy December weather! Hoping anyone else dealing with major rainfall is staying safe!
Is it bad that I'm 30 weeks today and I still have nothing put together? Like our nursery is a disaster area - the last room with boxes in it. I haven't had any energy to do anything in there. Neither has dh. And we still don't have our 0-6 month clothes. Why am I so out of control and not worried this go around?
Same here... Our nursery has the carpet ripped up with no replacement in sight. When I mentioned to DH the baby could very likely be here in 60 days and we need carpet he replies with "yeah 6-0, now I'd be worried if you said '6 days'". FFS neither of us is motivated. At least I know my baby will have a pack n play to sleep in and diapers to wear, but that might be it.
Yeah no crib mattress but we do have diapers since I stockpiled. I guess walmart is easy in a pinch, right?
DS1 - 9/21/11
DS2 - 7/4/14
DS3 - 2/21/16 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
Ladies I need some advice especially if you've dealt with this. Also, I'm sorry to be a downer I always feels bad when I complain:
DH seems to be distancing himself from me and (obvious) baby. He seems to be trying to find anything he can to keep himself busy and it's really hurting my feelings. When he was traveling he was always excited to come talk to her and do her room etc but now I seriously have to ask for attention or he will never put his phone down. I know he's getting nervous as it gets closer and I also know we are running out of time do things for ourselves so I try not to harp on him when he spends so much time playing with his guns or wanting to go to the range. (Also I feel like I should note that this a new hobby, as in the last month or so). I'm sure this is super common for a new dad, I just don't know what to do or say to him. I tried to talk to him about it today but I didn't get the vibes that he got where I was coming from or anything.
@SarahFoley725 mine is being the SAME WAY. So glad it's not just us. Lately he's really been super intense about exercise and also video games and books and basically anything that stops me from talking to him most of the time. I really needed his opinion yesterday as I was finishing up plans for what I needed for our room so it can function as a nursery too, and he just got so grumpy with me. Today it seems like he doesn't even want anything to do with anything baby-related, hardly even smiled when we heard the heartbeat at the doctor... It makes me really sad too. But I just have to hope that once it's time that he'll be ready to help me get this baby out and into the world and until then I suppose I'll have to live with a Mr. Grumpy Gills. Although I am considering purchasing a matching t-shirt/onsie thing for him, maybe to cheer him up a little? No idea if it'll help. Mostly I think all I can do is probably leave him be till he's ready.
Ladies keep in mind that you've bonded with this baby from the beginning. This baby has been a part of you. Your world changed at the beginning. He has no physical ties to this baby while he/she is unseen. All he's known is you as his wife and family. He doesn't know kids. This may be their way of coping with the unfathomable thing of becoming a father. It's hard for their worlds to change that much while baby isn't here. He might miss you as just a wife, even though you may have made that switch already. When baby gets here, it's very cool to watch them make that switch. Try going out on a date and NOT talking about baby until he brings it up.
DS1 - 9/21/11
DS2 - 7/4/14
DS3 - 2/21/16 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
I can't speak for your husbands but I know that with my dh, he was acting the same way while I was pregnant with ds, and is only slightly better this pregnancy. Come time go have the baby, he was right there for me and held ds so much in the hospital that ds only wanted to be held for days afterwards. He loves ds to pieces and fell for him the moment we had him. I am sure he will fall for these babies as well. I believe that he is just afraid: will he be a good dad, will he be able to handle the stress, what if he messes up? The same stress and worry that we face every time we feel a kick or shift in discomfort. Only problem is, as a man he feels that he can't talk about it and it makes him avoid anything baby related, as if it will make the worry go away. He doesn't mean to draw away, he just doesn't know how to handle the situation.
@2goofykids I think he's starting to freak out some. I'm getting big and it's becoming more real. He's great in so many ways. Every day he talks about how beautiful he thinks I am but it's like he's taking several steps backwards. I think it's so difficult for me because he went from being so excited to just kinda meh. He's leaving next week for a work trip and I'm starting to have some anxiety about something happening while he's gone. Honestly I think he gets annoyed that I worry so much but I can't help it and I can't explain the love that I have for this baby to him. I know it's not the same for him and it's not his fault at all, it just is what it is.
He's going shooting (surprise!) tomorrow and I think I'm going to go to the store and get some stuff to have our own little NYE at home. Maybe a nice date night at home for just us and not talking about the baby will help some.
@cmerribury OMG!! That's him!!! Cleaning grout with toothbrushes!! so you're saying there is hope? Lol! I'm just worried now that he's going to storm around the house that way with baby. I'm all for being clean but the truth is babies move things and don't put them back where they belong. He can't be so picky about perfection and organization with a baby. They're miniature tornados of chaos.
There is totally hope. He will fall so in love with that little one that those things won't matter. As much. Now that my son is older he's impressing upon him the importance of cleaning up, but no grout has been cleaned with a toothbrush since I delivered my son 5 years ago.
On another note, all you ftms, you are in for a treat once baby develops a personality. Ds was dancing and turned around and looked at me, stuck out his tongue, and started spinning and stomping. I just laughed and then laughed more as he giggled at me laughing.
@SarahFoley725 Yes, yes, yes. This is my husband to a tee. He's being exactly the same way and was with our son. It's infuriating. He stressing about how real it's becoming, so he distances himself because he can. He's not carrying the baby, he's not bonded with the baby...ya know? However, I know that come d day he will be there 100%. Hang in there, sweetie. It's totally normal.
You guys. I just can't today. After that post in 3rd tri and thinking about my cousin and friends, I just found out ***TW*** one of our support group mamas had her baby today at 38w born asleep. I am a ducking wreck right now. Can't stop crying and I feel sick and my kids don't understand why and my husband wants me to just calm down. How TF can I calm down?!?!
March 2016 siggy: babies - expectation vs reality Brian's Whovian wife (5/'09)
AP, BF, BW, CD, CLW, CS, ERF, Catholic mama
to Evan (7/'10), Clare (8/'11), Dean (3/'14), ^F(12/'15)^, Rose (3/'16)
*no longer a Timelord ~ WibblyWobbly BabyWaby is here!*
but i still feel bigger on the inside Autism mama!
I'm so sorry, @oceanchild. I know what you mean and how you feel. Im a worrier and empathetic and these things get to me so much. I wish I could help, but we both know there is nothing I can say. We are here if you need us.
@oceanchild I'm sorry hun. Just cry it out. I'm sure with all the other stress you have been under latley that this was the last staw. You are probably due for a good emotional dumping. I hope you can feel better afterwards. Maybe DH can watch kids while you treat yourself to a bath and quiet time.
Ladies with DH issues. I think in their minds it might be their last opportunity to do stuff that is just for them. They are probably becoming more and more aware that they soon will have no "guy" time alone. I know that can be hard on us but maybe you could try doing something nice for them....like get movie tickets for them or make a nice dinner. It could be something fun for both of you or even something fun for him and a friend. You may be surprised at how doing something little for them will be returned. I always have to remind myself that in a relationship you have to give to recieve at times. And even though it feels like we are giving soo much right now, it's not always obvious to them especially when they have higher stress levels surrounded around becoming a dad.
DH drama just got worse...we've been trying to plan something for tomorrow with no success so I finally said hey lets just stay home (his always preference) we can make dinner, rent a movie, turn our phones off, and just spend some time together. His response "well, I'll try not to complain about not being able to watch football". I seriously can't get a few hours of time with him. Something is always more important and football is on our tv Thursday-Monday every. freaking. week. I put up with it and have for years and now I'm just so upset. I started crying and he was trying to kiss me and I'm just like no so now he's all irritated at me, whatever.
@JLaVO888 I have probably been a better wife to my husband while I've been pregnant than I ever was before. I'm not proud to admit that, but I have tried very hard. I make him his favorite meals, even if I don't like them. His gun was my Christmas gift to him. I've had sex even when I don't feel up to it among a million other things. I know it's hard on him and he's getting nervous, but he can't check himself out because he has feelings. He's not the only one. Also I'm sorry if this sounds bitchy or anything I genuinely don't mean it that way I'm just rambling. I am trying it's just not working.
Thanks guys. I just don't even know what to say, to her, to DH, even my mom didn't understand … but I did just realize, I haven't actually had a good cry lately – rather I've been keeping a bunch of stuff stuck in. I think crying for the past couple of hours was good. I'm going to see if someone has started a meal train or anything for when she gets home.
March 2016 siggy: babies - expectation vs reality Brian's Whovian wife (5/'09)
AP, BF, BW, CD, CLW, CS, ERF, Catholic mama
to Evan (7/'10), Clare (8/'11), Dean (3/'14), ^F(12/'15)^, Rose (3/'16)
*no longer a Timelord ~ WibblyWobbly BabyWaby is here!*
but i still feel bigger on the inside Autism mama!
I bought two tickets to star wars tomorrow night, and I'm taking him to give guys to get a ginormous man-sized burger. And I'm gonna wear that stupid low-cut sweater that he loves and not talk about the baby unless he wants to.
@oceanchild I am so sorry to hear that. Cry it out, and just know we're all here for you.
@2goofykids I'm jealous about Star Wars and five guys. I'm an hour from a five guys. And two hours in every direction from Schlotzky's (my fave). And thank you.
March 2016 siggy: babies - expectation vs reality Brian's Whovian wife (5/'09)
AP, BF, BW, CD, CLW, CS, ERF, Catholic mama
to Evan (7/'10), Clare (8/'11), Dean (3/'14), ^F(12/'15)^, Rose (3/'16)
*no longer a Timelord ~ WibblyWobbly BabyWaby is here!*
but i still feel bigger on the inside Autism mama!
@oceanchild so sorry to hear about your friend. I can't even imagine.
@SarahFoley725 sorry your dh is being a dingbat. I agree with some of the other pp that he may be looking at this (albeit selfishly) as his last hoorahs before baby arrives and he doesn't have time anymore. My dh also does much better with specific baby instructions: instead of we need to finish the nursery, I say "today or tomorrow can you build the dresser/crib etc" I try to find the more "manly" stuff for him to take care of (think building and safety) even though I can handle those myself I know it is stuff he will like doing. The other thing is i know he doesn't care that much about the details (theme, color, bottle types etc) so rather than get annoyed because he is avoiding/uninterested in the discussion I just make the decisions and say here's what I picked out/want to do is that good for you? A few less baby details he needs to worry about. Hope things settle down. Good luck!
@SarahFoley725 You don't sound bitchy at all. I was just trying to get inside of the man brian(a dangourus place to go).... but I do get that it is supper frustrating and hurtful that he doesn't seem to be meeting you halfway. I hope he will have a wake up call soon. Have you tried being supper blunt with him and laying it all out on the table. Maybe he isn't seeing it from your point of view.
@oceanchild Sometimes a good hard cry is the best medicine. I would have no idea what to say to her either. I'm horrible in those type of situations becuase really there is never anything appropriate to say. Sometimes I think just silently being there is the best. Your meal train sounds like a great idea.
@SarahFoley725 You don't sound bitchy at all. I was just trying to get inside of the man brian(a dangourus place to go).... but I do get that it is supper frustrating and hurtful that he doesn't seem to be meeting you halfway. I hope he will have a wake up call soon. Have you tried being supper blunt with him and laying it all out on the table. Maybe he isn't seeing it from your point of view.
One of my husbands downfalls is that he takes my feelings or opinions to be personal attacks on him. If I'm like "I feel like you're distancing yourself from me" he freaks out. Super annoying and I hope he gets over it because I do not have time for his fits after baby gets here.
I am so tired. I slept maybe 4 hours. Someone has left their dogs out all night and they haven't stopped barking. I'm also super stressed out about 292827 things. The natural thing to do when you wake up at 5am is to turn on Harry Potter I guess.
So DH and I were watching a TV show last night where a pregnant lady suddenly went into labor....like she went from no labor to having the baby in the span of just a few minutes. I got a good chuckle from the conversation that happened between DH and from this scene:
Me: That is soooo unrealistic. Labor is no where near that fast.... DH: Lets hope not. I want to have time to get to the hospital. Me: We will have plenty of time, like hours of time. DH: Well I don't know about hours. Me: The average labor time for first time moms 5-10 hours with Active labor, meaning how long I push, averaging 1-2 hours. DH: *Shocked, honestly horrified expression* It really could take that long? Me: Yes. DH: What if you or I have to go to the bathroom? Me: eruption of hysterical laughter
Seriously.....lol....thats what he is worried about? The look on his face when he said it was priceless too.....I am still giggling about it.....
@oceanchild you are way too sweet. He's moved into my parents and they're trying to figure out care. He did fall again right after getting there but he didn't hurt himself too bad.
@SparkE82 17 1/2 first time and 12 hours second time. Bring a good book. There's a lot of down time
DS1 - 9/21/11
DS2 - 7/4/14
DS3 - 2/21/16 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
@skruhmin happens every time i wash dishes, lol DH says i'm standing to close and smushing his son. eh well since my arms aren't growing with my belly, he will have to get over it.
Someone needs to kick some of our DHs into gear! Mine has been nitpicking the crap out of me. I won't get into the minutia but he has something to say about every.little.thing. I do, say or buy. It's driving me crazy. Looking forward to visiting our family again for the long weekend so I can ditch him for a bit lol.
@oceanchild I'm so sorry for your friend. I don't even want to think about that. I think you were due for a good cry.
@sarahfoley725 you don't sound bitchy just desperate and fed up. Honestly my husband is great he really tries hard, but there are sometimes where I just wish he would wake up and smell the coffee. I really can't complain though, last night I texted him told him I was taking him on a surprise date, and I get home and he tells me this is a reverse kidnapping and he is the one taking me on the date. We went to Dave and Busters and he had our friends meet us there. It was super sweet even though I got wicked tired from being on my feet so much.
Also I just finished my 1 hour glucose test, my present to me for joining the 3rd trimester club today. I had a good chuckle that my drink was called glucoCrush!! ha ha. Anyway I'm hoping that little vial of blood passes
BFP 2/11/15 (EDD 10/13/15). MMC 3/30/15 D&C 4/3/15 "We will always love you"
DD1 - BFP 7/23/15 (EDD 3/31/16). "We believe in you rainbow" DOB 4/2/16
DD2 - BFP 2/9/18 (EDD 10/19/18). "Grow baby grow!" DOB 10/24/18
BFP 11/16/20 (EDD 7/31/21). "Round 3 FIGHT!"
Re: *** The Official Random Thread of All Random Threads for March 2016 ***
DD1 - BFP 7/23/15 (EDD 3/31/16). "We believe in you rainbow" DOB 4/2/16
DD2 - BFP 2/9/18 (EDD 10/19/18). "Grow baby grow!" DOB 10/24/18
BFP 11/16/20 (EDD 7/31/21). "Round 3 FIGHT!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
@2goofykids -Congrats on your results! I got the call this afternoon that I passed my 3 hour as well. So relieved especially since I already have my BP to worry about!
March 2016 Moms: January Siggy Challenge "Pregnancy Problems"
Now my mom is driving me nuts. We were supposed to go look at a dresser tomorrow. Now instead she and stepdad are going to the movies then THEY will go get a dresser. I hope they know to look for a white one...
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
DH seems to be distancing himself from me and (obvious) baby. He seems to be trying to find anything he can to keep himself busy and it's really hurting my feelings. When he was traveling he was always excited to come talk to her and do her room etc but now I seriously have to ask for attention or he will never put his phone down. I know he's getting nervous as it gets closer and I also know we are running out of time do things for ourselves so I try not to harp on him when he spends so much time playing with his guns or wanting to go to the range. (Also I feel like I should note that this a new hobby, as in the last month or so). I'm sure this is super common for a new dad, I just don't know what to do or say to him. I tried to talk to him about it today but I didn't get the vibes that he got where I was coming from or anything.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
He's going shooting (surprise!) tomorrow and I think I'm going to go to the store and get some stuff to have our own little NYE at home. Maybe a nice date night at home for just us and not talking about the baby will help some.
March 2016 siggy: babies - expectation vs reality
Brian's Whovian wife (5/'09)
Autism mama!
Ladies with DH issues. I think in their minds it might be their last opportunity to do stuff that is just for them. They are probably becoming more and more aware that they soon will have no "guy" time alone. I know that can be hard on us but maybe you could try doing something nice for them....like get movie tickets for them or make a nice dinner. It could be something fun for both of you or even something fun for him and a friend. You may be surprised at how doing something little for them will be returned. I always have to remind myself that in a relationship you have to give to recieve at times. And even though it feels like we are giving soo much right now, it's not always obvious to them especially when they have higher stress levels surrounded around becoming a dad.
@JLaVO888 I have probably been a better wife to my husband while I've been pregnant than I ever was before. I'm not proud to admit that, but I have tried very hard. I make him his favorite meals, even if I don't like them. His gun was my Christmas gift to him. I've had sex even when I don't feel up to it among a million other things. I know it's hard on him and he's getting nervous, but he can't check himself out because he has feelings. He's not the only one. Also I'm sorry if this sounds bitchy or anything I genuinely don't mean it that way I'm just rambling. I am trying it's just not working.
March 2016 siggy: babies - expectation vs reality
Brian's Whovian wife (5/'09)
Autism mama!
March 2016 siggy: babies - expectation vs reality
Brian's Whovian wife (5/'09)
Autism mama!
@oceanchild I am so sorry to hear that. Cry it out, and just know we're all here for you.
And thank you.
March 2016 siggy: babies - expectation vs reality
Brian's Whovian wife (5/'09)
Autism mama!
March 2016 siggy: babies - expectation vs reality
Brian's Whovian wife (5/'09)
Autism mama!
@SarahFoley725 sorry your dh is being a dingbat. I agree with some of the other pp that he may be looking at this (albeit selfishly) as his last hoorahs before baby arrives and he doesn't have time anymore. My dh also does much better with specific baby instructions: instead of we need to finish the nursery, I say "today or tomorrow can you build the dresser/crib etc" I try to find the more "manly" stuff for him to take care of (think building and safety) even though I can handle those myself I know it is stuff he will like doing. The other thing is i know he doesn't care that much about the details (theme, color, bottle types etc) so rather than get annoyed because he is avoiding/uninterested in the discussion I just make the decisions and say here's what I picked out/want to do is that good for you? A few less baby details he needs to worry about. Hope things settle down. Good luck!
I am so tired. I slept maybe 4 hours. Someone has left their dogs out all night and they haven't stopped barking. I'm also super stressed out about 292827 things. The natural thing to do when you wake up at 5am is to turn on Harry Potter I guess.
Me: That is soooo unrealistic. Labor is no where near that fast....
DH: Lets hope not. I want to have time to get to the hospital.
Me: We will have plenty of time, like hours of time.
DH: Well I don't know about hours.
Me: The average labor time for first time moms 5-10 hours with Active labor, meaning how long I push, averaging 1-2 hours.
DH: *Shocked, honestly horrified expression* It really could take that long?
Me: Yes.
DH: What if you or I have to go to the bathroom?
Me: eruption of hysterical laughter
Seriously.....lol....thats what he is worried about? The look on his face when he said it was priceless too.....I am still giggling about it.....
January siggy challenge - Pregnant lady problems
@SparkE82 17 1/2 first time and 12 hours second time. Bring a good book. There's a lot of down time
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
@sarahfoley725 you don't sound bitchy just desperate and fed up. Honestly my husband is great he really tries hard, but there are sometimes where I just wish he would wake up and smell the coffee. I really can't complain though, last night I texted him told him I was taking him on a surprise date, and I get home and he tells me this is a reverse kidnapping and he is the one taking me on the date. We went to Dave and Busters and he had our friends meet us there. It was super sweet even though I got wicked tired from being on my feet so much.
Also I just finished my 1 hour glucose test, my present to me for joining the 3rd trimester club today. I had a good chuckle that my drink was called glucoCrush!! ha ha. Anyway I'm hoping that little vial of blood passes
DD1 - BFP 7/23/15 (EDD 3/31/16). "We believe in you rainbow" DOB 4/2/16
DD2 - BFP 2/9/18 (EDD 10/19/18). "Grow baby grow!" DOB 10/24/18
BFP 11/16/20 (EDD 7/31/21). "Round 3 FIGHT!"