You know you're TTC when...

Everycol0r

Inspirited by some other posts, I thought I'd drop this in here to bring forth humor! (And to alleviate the repetitive jealousy, pee sticks or symptom spotting threads.)


You know you're TTC when you put on hand lotion and think, "Yea.. CM definitely felt like this yesterday."

Or when there is a stack of used OPKs sitting on your bathroom sink that you are "monitoring" to see if the line gets darker. Never mind there is actual pee on them.

BreeToll

You know you're trying to concieve when "egg white omlette" just doesn't hold the same appeal anymore...

caseyw8784

Everycol0r said:

Or when there is a stack of used OPKs sitting on your bathroom sink that you are "monitoring" to see if the line gets darker. Never mind there is actual pee on them.

I have a small pile of the wondfo OPKs, and last night DH went to bed later than me, he rushes in, shaking me awake, "are you freaking pregnant?! These all have 2 lines!" It was kinda of sad to burst his bubble... :-/

lifeonthehill

When you pee before you are fully awake and realize you didn't get a cup.

ShallowSeas

"O" means ovulation rather than orgasm

when you're checking your CM as often as you're checking Facebook, Instagram, Email.

MNturnsVA

Ha ha ha!!! Needed this!!

I can't relate 100% but these are funny.  

I debated on saving a few OPK's last week!

ShallowSeas

alyssa32713 said:

When you pee before you are fully awake and realize you didn't get a cup.

lol yes!!! and then yell "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" because you forgot you really wanted to test and you just wasted your FMU on 'just peeing'. 

Daybird11Six

When you can't wait to wake up at 5:30 AM again just so you can take your temperature and re-analyze your chart.

When you stare at your chart all day just incase it might reveal a mystery.

When you're hyper aware of every. single. thing. your body is or isn't doing.

cattlebride

When the words mucous, sex, cervical, and all those things take on a scientific connotation.

When Google pulls up the bump no matter what you type in.

indulgentgypsy

When it's early afternoon and all you want to do is go to bed, maybe seduce the hubby, maybe not, you really just want your freaking Temps to confirm O!

bntfroggie

When you get home from work and you're dead tired, but your OPK was positive so you go to DH and are like

lifeonthehill

ALittleCountry said:

When you can't wait to wake up at 5:30 AM again just so you can take your temperature and re-analyze your chart. When you stare at your chart all day just incase it might reveal a mystery. When you're hyper aware of every. single. thing. your body is or isn't doing.

ALL OF THIS. I stare at my chart so much. It's like going to the refrigerator over and over thinking more food will appear.

THIS IS WHY I A TERRIFIED OF CHARTING! Sorry for the all caps but this is a serious matter! I understand all the science and logic but I know as soon as I start I am going to be so obsessed. H will find me incredibly weird.

Be prepared for all the chart stalk posts ladies, I will be posting them all

0Face

@alyssa32713 I hate to tell you this, but our H's probably know we're weird loooong before charting took over. 

Just sayin'. 

mrsespigreen

you know you are TTC when 69 happens after confirming O, never before cause you don't want to waste potential swimmers 

Daybird11Six

alyssa32713 said:

ALittleCountry said:

When you can't wait to wake up at 5:30 AM again just so you can take your temperature and re-analyze your chart. When you stare at your chart all day just incase it might reveal a mystery. When you're hyper aware of every. single. thing. your body is or isn't doing.

ALL OF THIS. I stare at my chart so much. It's like going to the refrigerator over and over thinking more food will appear.

THIS IS WHY I A TERRIFIED OF CHARTING! Sorry for the all caps but this is a serious matter! I understand all the science and logic but I know as soon as I start I am going to be so obsessed. H will find me incredibly weird.

Be prepared for all the chart stalk posts ladies, I will be posting them all

I don't stare at it all day because I'm confused. I genuinely enjoy looking at all of my data across the months. I like looking at patterns and reminding myself "I know X is normal because my chart says so." Luteal phase, progesterone levels, whatever. Charting makes me feel better. You should totally do it!  

mrsespigreen

also...

sexy talk now becomes this:

Me: my CM looks fertile today, ready to go try to make a baby?

DH : you know it!

xyzabqsmvb53

...you take your vitamins so diligently that you'll jump out of bed from dead sleep to run to the kitchen and take the one you forgot before bed. I neeeeed that folic aciiiiid! 

KristieA

When you wake up and really have to pee but you gotta take your temp first.

lalala2004

When you do something you never imagined you would do before now, like put CM is a glass of water to make sure it's not semen.

beachbunnyxo123

Going off @KristieA -- when you wake up at 3am and really have to pee but force yourself back to sleep and hold it until 5 cause that's your temp time

KristieA

lalala2004 said:

When you do something you never imagined you would do before now, like put CM is a glass of water to make sure it's not semen.

Sorry how does that work? I don't remember reading about that?

lalala2004

KristieA said:

When you do something you never imagined you would do before now, like put CM is a glass of water to make sure it's not semen.

Sorry how does that work? I don't remember reading about that?

Semen is supposed to dissolve, whereas EWCM will form into a ball. Although why I'm having EWCM on CD6 is beyond me.... That's why I tested it, I was surprised to see it and wanted to be sure.

jsscmrnl

When you carry your thermometer with you at all times, and a notepad and paper to write down your daily moods and symptoms.

Help me lawd Jeesus!!!

KristieA

lalala2004 said:

KristieA said:

lalala2004 said:

When you do something you never imagined you would do before now, like put CM is a glass of water to make sure it's not semen.

Sorry how does that work? I don't remember reading about that?

Semen is supposed to dissolve, whereas EWCM will form into a ball. Although why I'm having EWCM on CD6 is beyond me.... That's why I tested it, I was surprised to see it and wanted to be sure.

My cycles are so weird that nothing would surprise me at this point!

Another for the list-

When your DH wakes up to the sound of your thermometer every morning.

AL_TwinCities

When you see abstract landscape art and see female reproductive anatomy in it. And it is not a Georgia O'Keiffe. I almost started a post the other day that would have been titled "you know you've been spending too much time on My Beautiful Cervix when..." Way to beat me to it!

Everycol0r

When you hear that song that says "our babies makin' bodies" and think, it ain't that easy biatch!

caseyw8784

beachbunnyxo123 said:

Going off @KristieA -- when you wake up at 3am and really have to pee but force yourself back to sleep and hold it until 5 cause that's your temp time

That wouldn't work for me.... I wouldn't be able to fall back to sleep!

Mlight28

Omg, this made me laugh realllly hard. Hahah. I love/can relate to almost all of these.

indulgentgypsy

When you put a whole week's worth of possible Temps into FF and it STILL won't confirm O. X(

WSU2015

When you take the nail clippers to your nicely polished and long fingernails to make checking CM less scary

teamginger13

When you come home from work to find your dog got into the bathroom trash and now there are tons of ovulation strips and negative pg tests all over the bathroom floor!

Gretchen1771

When you squeeze in quickies, half awake at the crack of dawn, before hauling ass to work to ensure that you are covering enough days in your FW!

jtsabo

When you have someone over and you have that panic moment that you might have missed a packet, pamphlet, box, book or test

hunnybunny17

I'm loving all of these! So funny and so true!

...When you stick a thermometer in your vagina.
...When DH is tired of having sex for the first time ever.
...When FF shows you O'd and you dance around the room because your BD timing was spot on.

AliSummer

When discussing cervical mucus is foreplay

and

after sex you're in the TMW (twenty minute wait) before you can get up

mrsE2015

RNMegan0711

caseyw8784 said:

Or when there is a stack of used OPKs sitting on your bathroom sink that you are "monitoring" to see if the line gets darker. Never mind there is actual pee on them.

I have a small pile of the wondfo OPKs, and last night DH went to bed later than me, he rushes in, shaking me awake, "are you freaking pregnant?! These all have 2 lines!" It was kinda of sad to burst his bubble... :-/

Lol that's adorable that he is that excited and curious! This is totally something I'd see my husband doing as well lol

CatWestover

When every headache, backache, and mood swing is a potential sign.

BornMama

severmilli12 said:

alyssa32713 said:

When you pee before you are fully awake and realize you didn't get a cup.

lol yes!!! and then yell "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" because you forgot you really wanted to test and you just wasted your FMU on 'just peeing'. 
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But then you congratulate your sleepy-ass for at least remembering to temp before getting up to pee, so your day isn't completely ruined.




Edited quote fail

CarnDafoRose55

When you take vacay in the middle of the week and fly 2,400 miles for some fishes...

MrsPrice519

When you fight with yourself about not testing too early!  (This AM)  You know it's too soon, but stilllllllllllll