I am going to be using 'Elastolabo', a gel you use from 32 weeks onwards. It's supposed to reduce the risk of tearing! In the UK you get it on prescription.
@Krysta6 thank you for finding that thread. I'm not at all ashamed to admit I read that entire thing, and then went back over the best gems with DH. I think his eyes were beginning to light up until he realized it was all a joke...
@cbolton19 that's when you hold your breath and push as hard and long as you can. So bad. It's hard on the baby and your body is not responding to it's natural cues to hold off.
Dude... I couldn't even get past the first page of that D15 thread, omg...wat?
On that note, while it's a far cry from fisting, my friend who is due the end of next month sent me a wiki how-to on perineal massage.... I was definitely under the impression that you just massaged the outside with coconut oil or the like...apparently not.
Dude... I couldn't even get past the first page of that D15 thread, omg...wat?
On that note, while it's a far cry from fisting, my friend who is due the end of next month sent me a wiki how-to on perineal massage.... I was definitely under the impression that you just massaged the outside with coconut oil or the like...apparently not.
Dude... I couldn't even get past the first page of that D15 thread, omg...wat?
On that note, while it's a far cry from fisting, my friend who is due the end of next month sent me a wiki how-to on perineal massage.... I was definitely under the impression that you just massaged the outside with coconut oil or the like...apparently not.
6 weeks before your due date start massaging your perineum with Rose Maroc Oil in a base like almond, vitamin E, or olive oil. Read up on how to stretch those muscles using massage.
Practice Kegals
Don't push really fast at the end if you can help it, try to allow time for your vag to stretch out. Avoid people who tell you to keep pushing. Push on your own terms.
Warm compresses applied during labor to the perineum help to relax those muscles and allow for stretching.
Avoid an epidural
Get a Doula
Have a water birth
Choose a good birth position, avoid pushing on your back
6 weeks before your due date start massaging your perineum with Rose Maroc Oil in a base like almond, vitamin E, or olive oil. Read up on how to stretch those muscles using massage.
Practice Kegals
Don't push really fast at the end if you can help it, try to allow time for your vag to stretch out. Avoid people who tell you to keep pushing. Push on your own terms.
Warm compresses applied during labor to the perineum help to relax those muscles and allow for stretching.
Avoid an epidural
Get a Doula
Have a water birth
Choose a good birth position, avoid pushing on your back
Pray!
While I'm a FTM and won't know until I experience it, I completely agree that you should avoid pushing on your back at all cost!!! It goes against gravity. It is only the most common practice because it's easier access/more convenient for the doctors and nurses. During my women's health class for my BSN, I learned a lot about practices in other countries and most other countries do not practice laying on the back. Here's a good article on it:
This makes the most sense to me.. I'm having an epidural so for the most part I believe my legs will be too numb for this. But for those who are going natural this looks the most reasonable.
I pushed standing up the last time and it felt the best. I felt in control and was surprised by how great it was.
Sometimes if the baby is presenting badly (posterior especially ) you need to be up and moving to get baby into a better position. The worst tears i have heard of were persistent posterior babies where mom back pushed.
You can talk to your ob about options on alternative positions if you are medicated. Some hospitals have a squat bar ir lower the meds so you can feel pushing (it sounds awful, but if you can feel it you have more control and can lessen the chance for bad tears).
@komorebi Were the doctors and nurses supportive of standing for labor, or did they try to get you to sit/lay down?
I was at home, so it was all my choice. But i think of you have a natural birth friendly ob it never hurts to ask. Ten years ago it seemed to be a fight to even have the squat bar pulled out, but currently as more people are demanding stats (including insurance companies ) you'd be surprised at what you get if you ask for it. Like you said,traditional pushing is more about ob ease than what works best.
Actually, it is easier for your body to heal if you tear naturally. That's why my doctors and many others don't routinely do episiotomies anymore. I tore with my first child, not too bad, but I did need stitching. I didn't even notice what the doctor was doing, I was too busy staring at my new baby! That's one of the positives of the whole labor experiences...as uncomfortable, painful, and embarrassing as it can be, it all goes away once the baby is here and in your arms!
I had a 3rd degree with my first (almost 4th degree) and the tear and stitches were not bad as I had an epidural, but recovery was a little rough. Three months after I actually had to get some granulation tissue removed from "over-healing" and I had pretty bad dull pain down there until I had the procedure to remove it....
Actually, it is easier for your body to heal if you tear naturally. That's why my doctors and many others don't routinely do episiotomies anymore. I tore with my first child, not too bad, but I did need stitching. I didn't even notice what the doctor was doing, I was too busy staring at my new baby! That's one of the positives of the whole labor experiences...as uncomfortable, painful, and embarrassing as it can be, it all goes away once the baby is here and in your arms!
The doctors here believe if we tear by ourselves it slows healing because it's harder to stitch due to the tear not being straight. So they will cut us if they see us starting to tear ! I had an episiotomy with my son. There was no way he was coming out without one, he was 9.7 lbs with a 39.5 head circumference. The healing wasn't bad, I could sit fine, until the swelling went down then the stitches kind of opened a bit and it burned a little to pee. My scar is barely noticeable 4 years later (: !
With DD I tried to go without an episiotomy but her head was just too big. I pushed for three hours and was pretty exhausted. The doctor was pretty hesitant to cut me, he wanted me to tear on my own, but I practically begged him to do it. Two easy pushes later she was out. No regrets!
I finally read the D15 fisting thread. WOW, just Wow . . . And I clicked the Wikihow link on perineal massage, which I'm glad I did. I was going to suggest that, thinking it was just external massaging of the perineum. Guess not . . .
My fear of tearing almost makes me want to have another c-section. Seems like a better alternative to fisting any day.
I tore with my second but only a little...my dear mom in law could tell horror stories. She had large babies with the youngest being the biggest. He weighed 13lbs! And she did it naturally...ouch! She did break her tailbone while pushing him out. She says that now days they wouldn't let her deliver naturally and says how she would have much rather healed from a c-section than a broken tailbone, not to mention all the other soreness that came with having such a large baby!
I had a severe 4th degree episiotomy that required layers of stitches and I chose to have another baby. There were complications that required the cut, so please don't think this is standard. When you have that little baby in your arms, it all makes it worth it.
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Re: Tearing
Sometimes if the baby is presenting badly (posterior especially ) you need to be up and moving to get baby into a better position. The worst tears i have heard of were persistent posterior babies where mom back pushed.
You can talk to your ob about options on alternative positions if you are medicated. Some hospitals have a squat bar ir lower the meds so you can feel pushing (it sounds awful, but if you can feel it you have more control and can lessen the chance for bad tears).
<slowly backs out of the room> :-S
The doctors here believe if we tear by ourselves it slows healing because it's harder to stitch due to the tear not being straight. So they will cut us if they see us starting to tear ! I had an episiotomy with my son. There was no way he was coming out without one, he was 9.7 lbs with a 39.5 head circumference. The healing wasn't bad, I could sit fine, until the swelling went down then the stitches kind of opened a bit and it burned a little to pee. My scar is barely noticeable 4 years later (: !
My fear of tearing almost makes me want to have another c-section. Seems like a better alternative to fisting any day.
But now I have a thread about fisting to read so like, cool
ETA: grammar