Emotional mess round 2

MKLEWIS2010

Hi everyone, last month I had a failed ivf cycle, my first one and I was devastated. My DH and I thought it would be best to go into another cycle right away so I did and i started the progesterone shots on Tuesday. We are doing a FET. However these shots really hurt and I had a huge breakdown last night when he gave it to me. Maybe I should have waited another month to start we just want a baby so bad. I just needed to vent. I really need this to work this time I don't think I can handle another disappointment. Any advice on how to stay positive after disappointments? Thanks!

KidShrink

So sorry...those disappointments are so hard, and it's definitely hard to stay positive. I find that what helps me is to have a plan if this doesn't work. For sure that plan B (or are we at Plan F by now?!) doesn't make me as happy, but it makes it feel less like the end of the world if it doesn't work. Then again, that doesn't mean I haven't been crying and having really tough times...

If injections are really tough, is there something you can do as a treat after the injections? Chocolate, chick flick, pedicure, etc?

Sending lots of sticky vibes your way!

LoriS8200

You can do it!! I did three cycles in 9 months, all with fresh retrievals - was never lucky enough to have any extras to freeze. Night. Mare. Currently in my 2ww for third and final cycle.

Hang in there! Realize it's out of your control. What will happen will happen. Nothing you can do will change the result, except relaxation. You got this!!

MrsBwIVF

First off, give yourself a pat on the back. This journey is EXTREMELY difficult physically, mentally and emotionally. It's ok to allow yourself to have complete breakdowns and cry it all out. Remember, your natural hormones are all out of wack, too which can also cause more havoc on you. Also, remember you are doing everything you can right now and if the process isn't working, it is NO ONE'S fault, so don't blame yourself.

How often and where are you doing the injections? Also, are they progesterone oil? We didn't do this with fet until right around the actual transfer.

jdl330

I'm very sorry to hear you're having a tough time. Sending good thoughts your way...

jnissa

Hi there!

I second having the plan B ready. We all need to be hopeful, but the reality is that often it takes several (or even many) cycles for success. We are on our one and only IVF cycle to TTC a sibling, and I'm already working the plan B (which for us would be donor egg) so that I'm already active on it if our cycle fails. 

But the other thing is not to amp yourself up for disappointment. You need to work really hard (and it is very hard) to not say things like "I really need this to work" and "I can't handle another disappointment." That mind set will make it even more traumatic if you don't get your BFP. 

Also keep in mind that with two cycles so close together you are a walking hormone bomb! Allow yourself the freedom to give into the emotions of that, but keep in mind that everything feels heightened by all the hormones.

FX for you that this is your cycle. You can do it! 

babycarrott

Its ok to have a breakdown. Don't keep it bottled up. I think we all have those days where we want to just throw in the towel and say f*** it, I am done. It is completely normal!! To be honest, I felt that way two days ago.

You can do this. It will all be worth it. Maybe get your hubby to give you a massage after your injections. They might help you relax and give you a moment of mediation. I agree with all the above about planning a plan B. I feel less helpless planning and working on other options. 

Internet hugs coming your way!

“Don’t let today’s disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow’s dreams.” - Unknown

MKLEWIS2010

Thank you ladies so much for all of your kind words.  I really appreciate it.  I think the plan B,C,D, etc would help.  It will give me something to look forward too.  

@jnissa I am going to work really hard to not say those things anymore.  That really does mess with your mind.

@mrsbwivf yes I am doing progesterone in oil intramuscular shots every night.  My butt is so sore (lol).  I ice and do heating pads after.  

All of your comments have helped tremendously and I am going to do some yoga today and meditate maybe that will help.  

Also good luck to all of you going through your cycles, hopefully this is a good month for all of us.

eh3473

I wish I had some advice but just wanted to let you know you aren't alone.

We just got our BFN last Friday and we are looking to start all over in September. I'm fairly certain my husband (while super supportive) thinks I'm crazy with all the meltdowns I have had in the last few months.

Stay positive and best wishes!

Wicked4589

Heat the syringe filled with progesterone for about 15 min before injection. That helped me make it easier. I noticed it was easier at first but as we neared the finish line, the breakdowns started. If you DONT break down at least a dozen times, I would be inclined to think you aren't on enough hormones. lol seriously, totally
Normal. This is a wicked emotional time.

MKLEWIS2010

Thank you both @eh3473 and @Wicked4589 Also thanks for the advice about heating the POI
Lol at the breakdowns. My DH hates when I cry he feels so helpless. I am trying to embrace this next cycle my transfer is schedule for Monday so FX it works this time. Good luck to all of you ladies!

Wicked4589

And when I say to heat it, I put it on the heating pad and folded it onto itself. Hopped in the shower. When I got out and dried off that's when I took it off the pad and my husband did the injection. Afterward he rubbed the area for a few minutes to disperse the oil as well as possible. Never had a lump.

MKLEWIS2010

Thanks! I will try that I read that some people would warm it by using their hands or putting the syringe in between their legs. But that sounds like it will work better.

MrsBwIVF

@mklewis2010, good luck on this next cycle! Try to keep your chin up.

wapeters13

I am so sorry that you are going through this and I know how you feel. We just had a failed fresh cycle and did not have any embryo's to freeze. I was crushed and couldn't stop crying for a few days.
I thought that it would be best to do another cycle right away, which is what we are doing and now I feel crazy and emotional. I'm pretty sure that my boyfriend thinks I'm crazy with all these hormones as well.

I agree with the other ladies and I stay positive by always having plan b in place. I'm always thinking ahead. Preparing for the worst but by all means hoping for the best.

I wish you all the best☺

MKLEWIS2010

Thank you both and good luck @wapeters13 Where are you in the process?

wapeters13

MKLEWIS2010 I start stimming this coming Wednesday and should have egg retrieval the week of Aug 2nd.

Let me know how your FET goes and let's stay in touch for sure ☺

obizyanka

When you say warming up... You mean from room temp right? I'm not storing mine in the fridge....

MKLEWIS2010

Yeah I find the oil to be but thick so if you wrap it in a heating pad for a few minutes it will be a little easier to inject. My house is usually on the cooler side. Good luck for August 2nd hopefully we will make it to our BMB after this!

Wicked4589

That is correct. Warning above room temp so the oil is thinner. I did the warming in my hands and it never got warm enough. Just slightly but never enough to make much of a difference. Then I used the heating pad and it was like woah baby that went in easy!