Late Term and Child Loss

Feeling lost

Oct 2013 I went in to be induced with baby number 3 .... my first boy. They put in gels in the afternoon and monitored him for an hour or so.... he was going off like a frog in a sock... after that he went quiet... i assumed he went to sleep in prep for birth... early the next morning they went to check on how i was progressing and how Jett was ... they couldnt find his heartbeat.
Thry took me off for emergency csection but were only abld to put him on life support after trying to get a heartbeat for 18 mins ... but by then he was brain dead.
Im now nearly 20 weeks with baby 4 and im constantly waiting for him to die.... its driving me nuts.
I came to the realisation last night that ive also kind of distanced myself emotionally from my 2 girls.... im totally devastated about all of it.
I dont know how to get through this pregnancy and its really killing me :(

Re: Feeling lost

  • I'm so sorry for your past loss. I hear that prgnancy after loss is very hard. I am currently ttcal and I know it's going to be a rough road. Have you thought about a therapist? I see one now and I will def keep seeing her if and when we do get pg again just To keep me sane.

    Best of luck!
    🌈  Preemie 2016  🌈
    ♥ Stillborn 2015 
  • **** living child mentioned

    I am so sorry for the loss of your son Jett. I lost my son and first child on the day I went into labor. They stated it was a cord accident that occurred when my labor started or during the short time before our arrival to the hospital.
    We recently welcomed his younger sister via c section a few days before his 1st birthday. The pregnancy was hard and I would recommend getting all of the support you can. It will be an ongoing balance between hope and fear. We were active in our hospital's perinatal loss group, met regularly with our grief counselor, read tons of blogs and talked with parents who were going through similar experiences or had already successfully welcomed a living child after a loss. This women on this board also helped me so much. Our medical team was very supportive and that really helped ease a lot of my fears with extra monitoring and knowing I could go to the office anytime I was worried and just needed to be reassured. Hugs to you as you go through this time - we are here for you.
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  • Thank you. I think Ill talk to my dr about seeing someone to talk to...
  • ****Rainbow mentioned*****

    I am sorry to hear about the loss of your little Jett. I lost my daughter Emily in Nov 2013 and became pregnant with my rainbow baby a couple of months later, it was very difficult and I totally get it when you say you are just waiting for him to die. TRY TRY TRY to enjoy every single min with your baby, take each day at a time. We are all here to offer support when you need it. Keeping you in prayer as your pregnancy progresses.

  • I think because i got told to wait a year b4 trying and then taking 5 months to conceive has made things worse... as time has gone on ive mentally gotten worse.... seeing dr tomorrow so hopefully they can help
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