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She Stole My Thunder

jts2015jts2015 member
in October 2015 Moms
my sister in law and I are exactly 20 weeks from me. Tomorrow I will be 26 weeks and she'll be 6 weeks. She just had her son about 6 months ago and swears up and down she got pregnant while her tubes are tied. I think she got jealous
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Re: She Stole My Thunder

  • Peanut1128Peanut1128 member
    I wouldn't take it so personally (without knowing any backstory on your relationship). Maybe the baby is a surprise or maybe they wanted to have more kids. Having a cousin close in age is awesome!
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  • babybumb1229babybumb1229 member
    All my cousins already had baby's well most of them have already I'm the youngest of the girls I'm happy I'm the only one pregnant right now (well that I know) because my baby is gonna be the baby of my family and my husband's family :) I could see how you feel with thinking she is stealing your thunder but just think you would actually have your baby first and there isn't anything better then holding your baby :) and maybe it was a surprise but look at it as now you can bond more go get things together and all that greatness:)
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  • mrsdhouse89mrsdhouse89 member
    I think we are missing more of a backstory for all the animosity. Trust me, don't let this eat at you. It will ruin the experience for you and you will only be able to blame yourself.
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  • MrsFaust1432MrsFaust1432 member
    My SIL is exactly one month behind me. I'm so glad bc it gives me someone to talk to about stuff, and let's my in laws focus on some else besides just me!! My in laws are crazy!!
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  • furelise93furelise93 member
    Yeah, I think there's more to the story. I personally, would be thrilled if any of my sister-in-laws were pregnant with me. It can be a good thing if you let it! Your baby will grow up with a cousin who is very close in age, and you will have someone in your family who you can talk to about the pregnancy and parenting... Different things like that!
    One of my sister-in-laws had her baby in December, and my other one had her baby in April... I'm excited that my little boy will have cousins who are so close in age!

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  • Wigglesx2Wigglesx2 member
    It's okay. I understand. I've been in similar situations. Sometimes it's nice just to share it and then you go about your life.
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  • jts2015jts2015 member
    Well she made it clear that she got pregnant on purpose and she tells everyone that she "thinks" she got her tubes tied and that translated to she obviously didn't. She has a lot of kids and when the attention gets taken away from her she gets pregnant. She has let's say more then 4 kids. She has a kid every year bc it's like an addiction for her. I'm not mad I'm not angry it's weird that's all. So stop assuming that I'm this selfish person with this entitlement of being the only one pregnant bc I'm not. I've actually been there for here through her last 3 and will be here this child. I just think the timing is more then perfect in my opinion.
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  • MeganKGarciaMeganKGarcia member
    I kinda know the feeling. But I think my SIL just wanted to not have to go back to work now that her other child is on school. We told our family that we were having my IUD removed in August of last year then out of the blue they started trying a couple of months later. She is 9 weeks ahead of me. Even though they had no business getting pregnant right now (they are not financially stable and are living with my MIL and FIL) I am still very happy for them and thankful to have someone in my family experiencing the same thing at the same time.
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  • elmann1elmann1 member
    When I was 10 weeks I announced to my in laws that we were pregnant (after ions trying!) and my BIL and SIL have made it very clear they did not want children for the past 7 years, up until a month before I got pregnant. So after my awesome, super excited announcement via Skype they go "we're pregnant too!!" Needless to say I was shocked at how quickly they got pregnant. They are 6 weeks behind us. Although they get on my nerves, I'm super excited for my daughter to have a cousin!!!!  
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  • gabrielafrnqyepezgabrielafrnqyepez member
    I have heard of things like this happening in families... In DH's family his brother and gf were accused of getting pregnant after DH had announced that he was having his daughter ....their kids are only 6m apart...here's what comes to my mind when I hear this, one its not easy to get pregnant if you the lucky few that your actively trying and at the first try it happens I say its a miracle, what is more common is it taking a while in my case it took us 7m to conceive! And that was quick! The other thing that comes to mind is that OP kinda does sound jealous or mad that the spot light won't b just on her. But on your defense OP if like you say this woman keeps having kids she might have a certain mental thing going on where she needs to have kids to feel happyhappy in which case she did do it on purpose and in that case I think your going about this wrong mb she needs help and attention instead of negative feelings. In my BL 's case the accusation makes no sense because they all ready had a child and when the bb was conceived they had already BEEN trying just had not told any one, what am trying to say is that we don't always know when ppl are trying and how long it's taking them!





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  • leighann1leighann1 member
    It just seems really weird to me that someone would decide and be able to get pregnant on a whim, just out of jealousy. But maybe that's just me...
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  • cderitzcderitz member
    Oh how I wish my SIL would get pregnant! It would take some of the attention off of me;) I already have one child and my SIL Just turned 41, is on her second marriage, and is hoping and trying to get pregnant. I would love for my MIL to have someone else to focus on other than me and it would be such a blessing for my SIL to be able to get pregnant :)
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  • batmom05batmom05 member
    leighann1 said:
    It just seems really weird to me that someone would decide and be able to get pregnant on a whim, just out of jealousy. But maybe that's just me...


    I would totally agree with this statement EXCEPT I have seen numerous people in our lives do this (SADLY).


    My husband's cousin is notorious for stuff like this. When we announced we were engaged after being together for 5 years, we told everyone we were getting married in 18 months. She met a guy, married him and was divorced before our wedding rolled around and actually told me that my husband couldn't possibly be the first to get married since he's the baby in the family. I would not for a second put it past her to get pregnant because we are. She is constantly in competition with everyone in the family regardless of the fact that her life is a mess. I definitely wouldn't consider it stealing my thunder... in my opinion she definitely has some issues that would benefit from seeing a therapist.


    The other one is my ex's now ex wife. My ex and I had a baby when I was 18 and he was 19. When we split, he met a new girl and she got pregnant within about 6 weeks. When they found out they were having a boy, she was very disappointed. When that baby was about 6 weeks old, she got pregnant right away. She called me to tell me before she even told my ex and her exact words were "now I'll have 2 and you'll only have 1..." There is no doubt in my mind that it was done just to one up me. Multiple actions have reaffirmed this for me over the years and she has told me multiple times that she couldn't let her son be overshadowed by mine. Again, I think she has some serious issues. Her need to one up me probably stems from the fact that I have a fantastic relationship with my ex's parents and they can't stand her, but that's a story for another day!
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  • batmom05batmom05 member
    mlobrummond said:
    I WISH this was the case for me! However, my child's cousins won't "happen" for a long time. I'm the oldest with my siblings being 2, 5, 9, and 12. My kids won't know what it's like to have cousins growing up, my siblings will be more like cousins than aunts/uncles. Be thankful! :)

    We're in the same boat! My sister is 14 years younger than me and my sister in law won't settle down for YEARS to come. My son and my sister are 5 years apart so they are closer to being siblings than aunt/nephew.

    I wish this little bean would have cousins their age!
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  • mirygmz07mirygmz07 member
    I see where you are coming from. My husband & I had been trying for a little over a year & half to get pregnant & 7 months after getting married we found out we were expecting! We were so exited to share the news with our families. & almost a week after my TWIN sister surprised us with the news she was also expecting (with a guy she had only been dating for a few months) I knew there was no way she could have planned it or do it out of spite since are "due dates" are literally 10 days apart but I couldnt help but feel like she was stealing my thunder. But now half way through the pregnancy Im kinda glad I have someone to go through this experience.

    & Just a few days ago my one of older sisters announced she is ALSO pregnant!! This will be her 3rd & she is also do in Jan'16. it has never crossed my mind she got pregnant on purpose or out of jealousy either. Im so happy for her & the beautiful family she is creating!! & love that our babies are all going to grow up together! & of couse my mom is super excited she will soon have 3 new grandkids :D I've justed learned to understand that God works in mysterious ways & things will always happen on HIS time. He has blessed me with my child as well as two new nephews for me to love! :)
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  • heytallmamaheytallmama member
    edited July 2015
    anorthro said:

    Oh man, totally off topic, but I just realized that my daughter won't have any first cousins and it made me so sad!  She'll be the only one.  My husband and I each have one sibling and they're not planning on having kids, and likely won't change their minds. I wish my kid would have a cousin close in age, or a cousin at all!



    We are basically in the same boat. My husband's only sibling decided she wasn't going to have kids, as did my own sister, and my brother is on the fence. That kinda settled it for us that we were having at least 2 kids so they could have a buddy! Thankfully, my cousin lives near us and wants children, so our kiddos can be close!
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  • loveleighmamiloveleighmami member
    Title your thread, "she stole my thunder", and you automatically sound jealous and upset before anyone even has to click on your thread. Who cares if she's pregnant at the same time as you? Since when does being pregnant give you "thunder"? I don't really care if the whole world is pregnant at the same time as me, I just want my baby born and healthy and in my arms. If you think she's doing it to get a rise out of you, then she's winning if you're reacting like this. I would just let it go and enjoy my pregnancy.
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  • mommy_wife_nursemommy_wife_nurse member
    @batmom05 I think it will be fun/interesting to see them grow up, it will be so different from when I was growing up! ... On a side note.. How do you like to be a lot older than your siblings? I love not having the fights my friends always talked about. My siblings look up to me and are so intrigued with my growing belly, it's so cute! Every time I leave my dad's house, the 2 yr old goes "kiss baby" then he has to kiss my tummy lol.
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  • batmom05batmom05 member
    @mlobrummond Right now, my sister is 14 and I'm 28 so even though there is a good gap, we are really close. She feels like my mom is too old to relate to, so she comes to me and hubby for a lot! She has actually become one of my best friends over the past few years, but it's hard to switch from seeing her like my own little one to an equal!

    It's funny because the first time around, she was a lot like your little sibling!

    My sister always tells me I'm one of her biggest role models, which makes me feel amazing. It's also nice to have her to tell my son I'm not as lame as he thinks I am!
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  • DSDavisonDSDavison member
    On my husband's side of the family all 3 of us are due within 7 weeks of each other. One SIL is due 10 days after me. I am excited that my child will have 2 cousins the same age- how much fun will it be for them?! Also, I'm not the only one not drinking at family functions
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  • edavis926edavis926 member
    I didn't grow up with that close cousin relationship. Which I thought was fine until I got to high school and a lot of my friends seemed to have really close cousins and then I was kind of sad. I had one cousin a year younger than me but they moved out of state when we were little so I saw him for a week once a year.

    My daughter has a cousin that will be 14 months older than her but 1,000 miles away.
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