Using TV ALL day long!!

Curlygirl2415

Help!! I have a 7 week old girl and a toddler boy. I have resorted to using TV practically all day long to distract my toddler while I try to get baby to sleep. She is very gassy, takes forever to get to sleep, and only naps short periods of time! This translates into my toddler watching a disgusting amount of TV every day. This makes me feel like a bad mom! I know I could put the baby in the ergo to nap, and I do sometimes, but I'm desperate not to be trapped in it all day. I really need advice!

Meagain31

So it sounds like you stay home all day? Get out! Go to the park, splash pad, museum. Let the baby sleep on the go.

There is nothing wrong with some tv but I am sure it's no fun for your toddler to be stuck at home all day.

Curlygirl2415

You are totally right, I have been staying home too much. This week was better, went to a bounce house, an indoor play place, and a park. I'm going to make it a goal to get out at least three days a week. But we do only play for a couple of hours max at these places, so I need to figure something out for the time I am at home. I do feel less guilty about the TV watching on days when we've gotten out though.

annie10

I understand. My kids are 4, 2 & 10 weeks. We went through a rough patch at 6-9 weeks when baby wasn't sleeping day or night & I was feeling overwhelmed. Hopefully we're passed that as the last week & a half has been so much better. It was also rainy for several days, which didn't help. We get out a lot. when I'm not up for that (or baby's not) we go on walks or to the neighborhood playground. We fill up the kiddie pool & get out the sprinkler. My kids love Play Doh, markers & chalk. And we read a lot. Good luck & hang in there! This too shall pass!

Curlygirl2415

That's right about where I am, my daughter doesn't nap well at all during the day unless I wear her in the ergo. It has been in the 90s lately, so I don't really want to wear her outside. Will your baby sit or lay on a blanket independently for a while? Mine will only for a few minutes. How do you get your baby down to nap while managing your 2 and 4 year old?
Thank you for your words of encouragement, it helps to hear from someone who's in the same boat!

annie10

My 10 week old son will sit in his bouncy chair or swing for a short period - about 10 min or less. Enough time for me to get breakfast or lunch on the table for the other two or move the laundry around. I was wearing him a lot when he was going through those 2-3 rough weeks we had. It made me tired and "touched out." At the end of the day I was feeling tired of holding him, which made me feel guilty. Luckily, he's been napping better lately. I nurse him to sleep at nap or he'll fall asleep with me wearing him and then I'll lay him in his crib. 

My two older ones play together pretty well (until they fight, siblings are like that.)  When my daughter was a newborn and my older son was 2, I'd read to him while I nursed the baby. Or sit with him in our playroom and talk to him while I took care of her. He was just over 2 so he didn't talk a whole lot yet but I wanted to interact and I'm sure it was good for him. 

Sometimes the baby just has to cry. I hate that but if he's been fed and changed and I have to get something for the other two, I'll put him down upset for a short time. This happened the other day when I blew up the kiddie pool and filled it. Once they were in, though, baby and I sat on the shaded porch and cuddled while the other two cooled off in the pool. 

Its been so rainy here this summer. Yesterday my older son had Vacation Bible School so I went to The Dollar Tree with the other two and spend $12 on art & craft supplies so we've been doing watercolors and simple crafts. And my daughter loves Play Doh, it keeps her busy for long periods of time. 

And yes, sometimes, I still feel like we watch too much TV. But I'm trying so I decided to give myself a pass and not feel guilty about it. I hope it gets better soon and your baby takes longer naps soon! 

SnowySnow

When the twins came we had an 18 month old baby boy.  I had two fussy babies who just needed to get out and so everyday we would take an hour long walk.  We joined playgroups on Meetup.com and a women's group at the hospital.  It was funny because the more the twins would get out the less fussy they were and it saved my first baby.

Mic512

Try a craft or coloring activity for the toddler that they can do with the tv off. I find the trick to it is to plan it the night before after the kids are in bed

hayleydeee

You're not alone! I have a lot of guilt about the amount of TV my kids watch too. But, I feel a little better about it when I am careful about the content of what they are watching. Usually they watch PBS Kids, and they actually do learn a lot from it. Or I let them play with educational aps on the ipads. 

There are also a lot of great ideas on Pinterest for "busy bags" that can help keep a toddler entertained, at least for a little while! Hang in there mama. 

Curlygirl2415

Thank you all! I really like the idea of crafts and busy bags. I've also been thinking of making a tub of "moon sand" that he can play with indoors. Might be messy buy it would keep him entertained. As time goes on and baby consolidates naps and takes less time (hopefully:/) to put down, I hope to scale back the TV time to just a couple shows a day. Wishful thinking??

stlmomof2

Meagain31 said:

So it sounds like you stay home all day? Get out! Go to the park, splash pad, museum. Let the baby sleep on the go.

There is nothing wrong with some tv but I am sure it's no fun for your toddler to be stuck at home all day.

Yes!! Toddlers need to run around with all that energy! If you have the time go to the park... Get some fresh air!

GracefulStar

It's hard at first but try shutting it or creating a rough schedule, for example I have it on in the morning so I can see the weather, news until both kids are up. Then it's off until 6 or 6:30pm while we are eating dinner and I'm cleaning up, etc. then we play in another room but it's background noise. At first I needed noise so I put talk radio (Dave Ramsey) but sometimes we put music and dance too. It encourages them to find other means of entertainment. My boys are 2 and 5 months. Some indoor ideas: Sometimes I fill a bin with water in the living room (have lots of towels) and put toys in or dip their feet. In the winter we did snow. Bubbles are a hit, especially at bath time. Plenty of books or puzzles. Mega blocks are fun. My son just got a tabletop easel and loves the chalkboard (it's not that material that makes a horrible sound when you scratch). My little one was always too big to wear so he's usually on my lap as he likes to sit up but we sit with my other son so he's included, we do the playground a lot, I follow the older one with my stroller. Sprinklers are entertaining as well as chalk and bubbles outside. good luck!

Curlygirl2415

I wanted to ask, how do you put your baby down for a nap with your toddler around? Mine just cannot be quiet unless he's watching TV. That's why I've been turning to it, and unfortunately my baby has been very gassy lately and takes about an hour to get her to nap.

GracefulStar

My youngest tends to sleep after being fed, but not always. I set up time to play where the little one is in my arms, or on a play mat, or sitting in front of me now that he's almost sitting and the oldest is near me too (all on the floor) and we play or I watch the oldest play and I ask questions or make comments. I also give the little one a toy or just let them explore what they see. Sometimes the baby would sleep in my arms. When the baby needs to feed or is very tired and cranky I go to the couch, I tell the oldest (he gets upset) that he can come, sometimes I have him help me carry the baby (he holds the feet but he loves helping), and if I can I prep him as in oh in one min I need to feed your brother or put him to sleep. He likes to be where I am, so he usually brings some trucks, toys or a book while I feed the baby. I then make comments or ask things while he plays and I feed. "Wow that truck is going fast, or where is that bus going" - he just wants to be included and that helps. If he's too loud or playing with a noisy toy I say please talk a little lower, or let's play with a quieter toy as your brother is trying to sleep. Sometimes he will have a book and I read a few pages as best I can or he does a puzzle. I then lay the baby down and give the oldest a hug and play a few min if I can... Just as a bonus. Try talking to yours as you tend to the baby as best you can. And have him help where you can. Good luck!

Curlygirl2415

Thank you, I will try those ideas!

MesmrEwe

If baby isn't sleeping that means you're probably not getting the rest you should either...  If someone suggested I get out of the house more when I was in the phase with DS where he didn't sleep more than 60-90 minutes in a stretch for the first 14 mo (when he started daycare and like a switch, he started to SLEEP! - for four hours...  The thought of going out when DS was in that nightmarish phase (DH wasn't much help because he couldn't get DS to go down) was "NO, just NO!" nor was I really safe to be operating heavy machinery as tired as I was! (I swear I'm still trying to catch up on sleep three years later!)

My recommendation - part-time daycare!!!  Gosh you need to be able to take care of you too!  It's also a way to get the toddler some social time with other kids without you needing to be the source of entertainment. 

Finally - during this phase, it's about survival...  1) Are the kids fed?  2) Are they wearing a clean diaper/underwear..  3) Have they bathed at least once this week (this includes you)...  If all are Yes, then you're doing great!  Be gentle on yourself, you'll get through this phase!!!!

PrimRoseMama

Curlygirl2415 said:

Help!! I have a 7 week old girl and a toddler boy. I have resorted to using TV practically all day long to distract my toddler while I try to get baby to sleep. She is very gassy, takes forever to get to sleep, and only naps short periods of time! This translates into my toddler watching a disgusting amount of TV every day. This makes me feel like a bad mom! I know I could put the baby in the ergo to nap, and I do sometimes, but I'm desperate not to be trapped in it all day. I really need advice!

Ride it out.

My second napped anywhere. In fact the car seat & carrier are still favorite napping places. If I try to lay him flat in any organized way to nap then forget it.

The Devil Box won't cause your toddler's brain to rot.

Curlygirl2415

Well this is still happening. I am at an absolute loss as what to do. My daughter is 14 weeks now and still terribly gassy and takes forever to put down for a nap. Once she is down, it's often only for 30 minutes. When she gets up, she won't just hang out and be content because she's still tired, so I'm forced to spend another 30 minutes to an hour trying to get her to sleep. Which means more TV watching for my son. To make matters worse, she will no longer sleep in the ergo and cries whenever I put her in it. She also cries in the stroller and will not fall asleep in it! So needless to say I've had a difficult time going anywhere because my daughter is always crying. My son is totally addicted to TV now, and I know it's my fault. I am afraid I'm doing permanent damage and setting him up for ADHD and other bad things. My heart breaks for my little boy who wants to play outside, but has to stay in because I am forever trying to quiet my fussy baby and get her the sleep she desperately needs. I feel like the worst mom ever! I just really have no idea what to do. This is more of just a vent because I need somewhere to let it out. I don't think there's anything that can be done.

hayleydeee

I'm so sorry to hear that this is still a struggle. Just take a breath, and know that this is only a season, and that will pass. 

One of my twins was super fussy and quick to cry too, but eventually he grew out of it. You're NOT a bad mom, and certainly not the worst mom ever. You love your children and are doing the best that you can for them. THAT makes you a good mom!

Curlygirl2415

Thank you for the kind words:) I know things will get better in time, it's just so hard to watch my little boy being a TV zombie when he should be outside playing in the sun, but we can't go out because DD will just cry.

xuxachi

That sucks, I'm really sorry! Tell us more about your schedule with your DD and maybe we can help you troubleshoot there and get her sleeping? What time is she waking in the morning? How long is she awake before naps? How frequently eating? That's the only way I can think to help.

I'm not winning mother of the year here either and have resorted to using shows to keep my 4 yo and 2 yo out of trouble when I have to put my 4 mo down for naps and (occasionally) when I nurse. Some days are better than others, but my baby is a pretty good sleeper once I get him to sleep, so I'm lucky there.

Curlygirl2415

She gets up anywhere between 6:30 and 8:30, depending on when her nighttime feedings are. I know some people say to wake them at the same time each day, but I really like any extra one on one time I can get with my son before the craziness of the day begins. Plus, I know she may barely sleep during the day so I want her to get as much rest as she can! Then, once she's awake, I watch her really closely for yawning etc., and she usually is ready to go back to sleep only an hour after she wakes.

To me, it seems like she has trouble falling asleep and staying asleep because of gas. Also, I know I'm creating a bad habit because she falls asleep nursing, so she could be waking up because of that. Once in a while she will catch a nice 2 hour nap in the morning, but that's happening less and less. And the afternoon is never good, sometimes lucky with 30 minutes but not usually.

She eats it on demand, so pretty much when she wakes up, and then again when I'm nursing her back to sleep. Could I be over feeding her? I just have no other way of getting her to sleep.

xuxachi

It's unlikely that you can over feed a baby that is breastfed. if she's falling asleep nursing then maybe she needs a good burping - my DS needs this more now than even before when he is littler.

I can see your reasoning for wanting your dd to sleep as long as possible on the morning, but maybe having a more regular wake-up time would start to give your days a bit more structure/predictability, which could eventually benefit you all (including your older one). It can give you a better idea of when your dd needs to eat, be active and sleep. I find that nursing upon waking works best, and then put to sleep after 1 hr and 45min of being awake (2 hrs closer to end of day). If DS takes a good nap then he eats every 3-4 hours (less earlier in the day/longer as day goes on). If I nurse him to sleep, he doesn't eat well the next feeding, and we get thrown off - for example needing to eat when he's already been awake for 2 hours, thus being sleepy when eating or getting hungry too soon into his nap. Just some thoughts.

Curlygirl2415

I really want to be able to get her to sleep a different way than nursing, but it's all I've ever done and I really don't know how to do it any other way! My husband is GREAT at getting her to sleep, he basically just swaddles her, pats her, and shushes her until she falls asleep. He usually does this standing up though, and I'm just not strong enough to hold her that long. How do you get your LO to sleep??

GracefulStar

Same here, my hubby can get ds2 to sleep but not me without breastfeeding. he's been gassy lately, when he wakes often needs to burp or is irritable trying to sleep. Does she calm down if you pat her back? If you take her outside, does she cry in a moving stroller?

Curlygirl2415

She doesn't usually calm if I pat her back, and only lasts in the stroller a few minutes before crying:( I'm sure she'd fall asleep if I walked long enough, but long walks are kind of boring for my son. I try walking to the park and putting her I the ergo when we get there, but she has decided she hates the ergo too! Just seems like I can't win.

xuxachi

When my DS was around 7 wks I would put him to sleep by rocking him a bit (deep knee bends worked really well) or paced around while patting the bottom in a cradle hold. I then put him in the bed a bit drowsy and held my hand on his belly until he was asleep. Swaddled of course + pacifier. If he was unsettled I shush pretty loudly in his ear. If I timed it right then this (almost) always worked. I kinda do the same thing now (he's 4 mo but no swaddle and less rocking required most times.

Curlygirl2415

I'm curious about the transition to no swaddle. Did your LO startle when being laid down or wake himself up with his hand?

xuxachi

He's kinda over the startling reflex but he still struggles with no swaddle - I find it helps to settle him and also prevent him from being too preoccupied with his hands to sleep - he also pulls his paci out of his mouth. So we're still doing alternating 1-arm swaddle for a few naps and no swaddle at night. I think we should be fully transitioned in a few weeks.

xuxachi

@Curlygirl2415 I saw your post on the other board and wanted to say that you should trust your gut and try to solve for the reflux issue if your dd seems to be in so much pain. You are the mama and know best if something seems normal or not with your child. You'll figure it out, just keep following your instincts and talking with your doc.

MrsB915

I think that a big part of your DDs difficulty sleeping can be traced back to her gassiness, possibly reflux. When DS was little we elevated the head of the bassinet mattress a little bit and gradually weaned him off of that. I'd bring up your daughter's gas and possible reflux with her pedi. They may be able to help you find some relief for her.

I also think that everyone would benefit from a tighter schedule. Try waking her around the sender time each day this way her nap schedule can be more consistent. Walks always helped son nap. I know you said that she doesn't like the stroller or the ergo anymore, have you tried a different carrier? My son loved the ring sling.

For your toddler on walks, it might help to give him a task to keep him busy. When I was a nanny before ds I taught the kids the names of different birds or plants on our way. We would also collect acorns or pinecone which we later used for a bird feeder craft (crafts were key for them, they loved having something new to work on each week!) We also collected fall leaves and painted with them or ironed them between waxed paper. You could also turn the walk into a scavenger hunt and give him a pictorial list of items to find.

PrimRoseMama

Curlygirl2415 said:

I really want to be able to get her to sleep a different way than nursing, but it's all I've ever done and I really don't know how to do it any other way! My husband is GREAT at getting her to sleep, he basically just swaddles her, pats her, and shushes her until she falls asleep. He usually does this standing up though, and I'm just not strong enough to hold her that long. How do you get your LO to sleep??

It's different for him though-- baby doesn't expect food & can't smell it. I would see if taking both out to the park might actually help your daughter's fussy self.

The little girl that I nanny for is this way. In the house it's cry-city but out for a walk or hanging at the park she's more content to look around.

So, if what's going on isn't working then switch it up. It might be a good idea to try some place like the library (storytime for your DS) or even an indoor play place where he can be free & you can see if the commotion distracts her.

She might grow out of it, but if drama is her tendency (my daughter is bed emotional & has always been prone to dramz since she was born) then you'll just have to learn to cope. Basically I'm immune to drama crying now lol. You can't sequester yourselves on the off chance (or certainty) that DD will cry. Just expect it & roll with it. Some babies are just fussy & you learn to wade through.

Hang in there. I promise your DS will be fine-- there are far worse things that could be happening than watching spongebob. It's survival.

Curlygirl2415

Thank you! All wonderful ideas. He is obsessed with acorns, so I'm sure he'd love to keep an eye out for them! I will check out the ring sling, haven't seen it but maybe worth a try.

rynalicia

These days are so hard and long! I have three, my youngest now 2 and a half, and I remember when my second was a newborn and my first being 2 - it is just so tough! You will get through these days! This isn't permanent, and he won't remember it. Don't put the pressure on yourself, do what you have to do. Quiet time boxes work well, or having your older one rock a baby to sleep - but I can honestly remember one of the worst of my parenting days when my older was making too much noise while I was rocking baby to sleep and I lost it. I understand the frustration and sadness, but I promise you will get through it and nothing you are doing is making you a bad mother! You are a good mother even by just showing how much you care, give anytime you do have to being there for your oldest, it's ok if you have to use the tv the other times.

Bestmomideas

Have you tried making some busy bags for your toddler?  It's just a ziploc bag with an easy activity that he can do by himself inside.  There are a ton of ideas on pinterest.  I used these for my toddler while I nursed his baby brother.