The transition to a housewife

BabyRolls

Anyone else not going back to work? I'm lucky enough that I'll be able to stay home and watch my baby grow. I'm excited and nervous about it all at once. It's such a big transition to go from working full time which I've done since I graduated college 13 years ago to now being a stay at home mom. I'm a little nervous about how I'll react to it. Anyone else been through this?

mrsdhouse89

I have not, but just wanted to say congrats! It's exciting that you are able to do this. From talking to co workers who were stay at home moms when their kids were little it sounds like a very rewarding job. There are groups in the area I live in that only allow stay at homes to be apart of for play dates and taking kids to the park. I'd see if your area has something similar?

BabyRolls

I am planning to join the MOMS group in my area.

McRad

I haven't transitioned from working 13 years to a stay at home housewife but I can say I made the transition to a housewife after a year of unsuccessful job hunting after a move cross country.

I learned to love cooking everything from scratch, library visits are a weekly agenda item, and I found cleaning is way more enjoyable when you don't have to get it done over the weekend (but I also enjoy cleaning so it may be a bit biased of opinion). With a child I'm sure you can find mom groups, like you said.

Also, congratulations on the transition. I have heard time and time again, the best work you'll ever do is the work you do within your home. And getting to snuggle your baby and watch grow will be so rewarding.

jem89

First of all, congratulations! That is very exciting and will be very rewarding. I have done this (while also being in school but a light courseload so it feels like I am full-time stay at home mom) and I found that I needed an outlet of something that I "accomplish", so to speak. For me, it was very hard to get used to working hard at something that is undone in a moment (i.e. cleaning up toys). Anyway, taking classes gives me the immediate sense of accomplishment that I need. If we had the finances, I would take up a hobby. I am not sure if everyone feels this way but I did

McRad

@jessjoelmasse yes! I think you hit the nail on the head about needing an outlet to "accomplish" something. I always have to have a project list going-- kind of like a list of goals.

Can I also add how WONDERFUL it is to go grocery shopping at 7 or 8am on a weekday when no one is there. Or go to Target when it first opens on a weekday. If I ever forget and have to shop Saturday or Sunday it is torture. Seriously, night and day.

twogirlsandagreen

It is so rewarding and HARD to be a stay at home mom. Best job ever. I did end up missing the mental stimulation so decided to get my Master's. Gave me a goal to work toward, kept my brain challenged, and allowed me to be home with my first daughter and then second daughter when she came along.

MamaOwl15

I didn't become a SAHM till my son was a little over a year old, but o had been working or in college/grad school or both for for 14 years. It's quite a change.

It's very rewarding to get to spend your days watching your kid grow, but it can be lonely and emotionally draining too. My church playgroup and Bible study are what keep me sane (many of the moms I know from playgroup also attend my Bible study; that's my 2 hours a week of exclusive adult interaction!). Getting out of the house and talking to adults, even if we talk about our kids the whole time is important.

Also, I try to avoid the whole SAHM with unwashed hair in yoga pants thing. I try to get up and shower and put on a little makeup and some jeans instead of basically staying in my pajamas. Being pregnant, I'm a bit more lax than normal on that, but still.

Also, I find trying to keep a routine in place vital to my sanity and that of my son. I clean on certain days, we go to the Library for storytime on Tuesdays and bible study on Thursdays. Consistency is important.

And make sure your SO knows you need a break sometimes! Being a SAHM means you don't get to clock out and leave work at the end of the day.

bbiutmcph

I jut became a SAHM after being pretty much the breadwinner during our entire marriage. I enjoyed being in a pretty demanding field and holding management positions. Recently my company got bought out and my job became miserable and started effecting my home life as well. My husband got an offer we couldn't refuse and so I took the leap, quit and haven't looked back since. I have two boys now and am expecting a little girl. I can say it's quite a difference from what I used to but I'm getting a groove and really enjoying it. The shopping early on weekdays is a plus I agree there. I also love that I can enjoy my weekends now vs doing the extra chores that were hard to get to during the working week like mopping, dusting, extra laundry, etc.

I was worried about the change in socialization for me but it's been ok. I have joined a play group, have my boys in a reading group at the library, became members at the zoo so we can enjoy special activities during the week and I make sure that I meet up with friends every couple weeks just for some adult conversation besides my DH. I still like to keep a routine like I had when I worked, I still get up early get ready, have a schedule during the week and keep certain things on certain days. I find a routine is what did keep me sane at first since obviously it was a huge change from what I was used to. I am hoping to return to at least a part time job in a few years but for now I'm loving the time at home. Enjoy!

Angheat56

Yes!! I am very fortunate to be able to stay at home with our little one! I have been in the workforce for 10 years and I am really looking forward to this opportunity! My last day at work is July 31st! I am nervous about the transition, especially before the baby arrives but I started a crafting business 2 years ago, and I will put all my energy into that to keep me busy. Good luck!

cgummie

I am really excited to be a SAHM, too! I am getting my Master's while I'm at home, but won't be working for the first time in 12 years- last day is September 20th! One of my good friends is also now a SAHM because one of her kiddos is awaiting a transplant. She has really been helpful in getting me mentally prepared for being a full time caregiver. It seems very rewarding, but very busy! She said the key for her is finding adults to interact with, other than her DH.

aah1013

While I'm not technically a SAHM, I consider myself very close to one. I work 4.5 hrs a day, but once baby comes, I'll be cutting down to only 2-3 days a week. I make sure we get out of the house most days of the week because it can get lonely.

MirandaC1984

We are still deciding but I will most likely be staying home also. It will be a huge change for me since I have worked since age 14. I'm scared to give up my career but excited to be able to spend all those precious moments with our baby boy. Hoping to find other SAHMs to meet up with regularly for play dates and stuff. My husband works from home so I am hoping that we won't drive each other crazy either. Good luck!

eat111315

Ditto most of what's above. Especially @MamaOwl15 getting dressed everyday.

It's intimidating when they're really little because there is no schedule but don't be afraid to get out of the house. The worst that's going to happen is you have to go back home (and maybe both cry a little). I wish someone had told me this, when my first was little I was so hesitant and got cabin fever pretty badly.

Good luck it's the best job in the world!

JaqiDec04

Congrats!

I love being a stay at home Mom, but I ended up starting a small ETSY business. I just needed a way to interact with people, and have some goals, and at least feel like I was brining in a little bit of money. DH never cared about the money, and would prefer I quit completely, but I needed some "me" space.

Also, once you get over the first newborn faze, go OUT. Seriously. DD was so much easier to take out to the mall or dinner at like 2 - 6 months than she was later. Once she was mobile, she'd never sit in her stroller long enough for me to make a lazy shopping trip through the mall. I even took her to dinner with friends. I fed her before we walked in, and she'd sleep in her car seat next to the table for the two hours, and it was amazing. Never happens again after that time period.

Celly2015

Congrats!!! It's completely rewarding!!!

And I have to agree at what @McRad said about the shopping. Best thing ever!!! Beat the rush. This is my second child, so with my son it was so beneficial. Because I was up early anyways, I would take the baby and just go. No hassle no lines no drama.

And I have family who have kids the same age as my son who are also stay at home mommies so making plans was always easy.

You will so enjoy.

BabyRolls

Thank you for all the feedback!! Definitely feeling better about my new role and chapter in life!

karlimeliss

Congratulations. I stayed at home full time with my first for 10 months then returned to work on weekends. I find for myself that I need the time away from my son in order to stay sane. For me without it the weeks all just ran together. Mondays are our lazy day and I found with this schedule I can be a better mom the rest of the time.
For my family the extra income is just enough to not be stressed financially. If money was not an issue I do think I would still want to have set breaks were I was away from the home. That would be my advice to you. Working you get a bathroom break alone, lunch break alone, travel alone to and from work. When you stay home with a child you get none of these which can become very draining quickly. Good luck!

CodiSilsby

I am so glad this post happened - so encouraging and realistic. This is my last week of work after being the breadwinner at a stressful and soul-draining job, while DH got his nursing degree. Going from a M-F 8-5 to being home will be an adjustment in itself - then adding a baby to the mix in October (this is our first baby, second pregnancy)....it's overwhelming to say the least! But so exciting!

mrsbird1721

Congratulations! I think you are right to be a bit nervous, the transition can be tough. I unexpectedly became a SAHM when my employer went out of business while I was on maternity leave! I had always measured my value in my work ethic and my good reputation at work and monetary terms and I had a lot of pride in being self-sufficient my entire adult life. And then suddenly my worth was measured in... taking care of a baby? Keeping the house clean (which my hubs doesn't even notice)? I struggled with veering between anxiety and a lack of motivation. It took a while to find my groove. It did help to structure my week - Tuesdays for paying bills and making phone calls to insurance company, etc, Thursdays for cleaning, Fridays for bringing the baby to a lunch date downtown that I would make sure to schedule. It took a while but I did finally find contentment. Allow yourself an adjustment period. And reserve the right to revisit your decision and go back to work in a year if you want. Just knowing you could go back if you wanted might make you appreciate being home more. Good luck!

MamaOwl15

Like @JaqiDec04, I also have an Etsy business. I've slowed down a bit during my pregnancy, but it's important for me to have some sort of outlet beyond just doing chores, cooking, and doing mom stuff. I just started last fall, so it hasn't been a huge increase in income, but long-term, I hope this can be a source of "fun" money for me (my husband gets tips at work sometimes so that's his "fun" money and his paychecks go into the bank to pay our expenses).

KLHauck12

I am planning to primarily stay home. I used to work part time as a family educator and part time for my dad doing secretarial work & bookkeeping (he is a CPA). At the end of the school year I quit my teaching job so I can stay home more with baby. After she is a few months old, I will go back to working 1-2 days a week for my dad while my mom (who does not work) watches the baby. It's a way to cover some expenses without the daycare costs and having lots of flexibility. I also sell Pampered Chef and want to get that business booming. So I won't be a true SAHM but I'm still excited to be mostly at home and in control of my schedule! From working with SAHMs I have observed social interaction & routine to be important to not go crazy. So I'm going to join moms groups and try to do certain tasks on certain days. I'm hoping those things along with my work at my dads office & my Pampered Chef business will help me feel mentally stimulated and not feel isolated.....and not have the days run into each other.