Who has ignored the waiting period? — The Bump
TTC After a Loss

Who has ignored the waiting period?

No flames. Both the 2 weeks pelvic rest to prevent infection and the # of normal periods after to try again?

My sex drive is starting to return, but my body (still experiencing cervical pain any time there is pressure from a full bladder, gas, or BM) and my mind (horny) are still firmly not in agreement. My temps are finally dropping from the 99.4 range, but I can tell when DH is kissing the sides of my neck that my lymph nodes are chock full and super tender. It's been only 5 days since the D&C. I was thinking that provided my temp stays down/keeps going down, my cervical pain is gone, and my lymph nodes feel clear for 48hrs that it might be ok to resume sex/TTC if it happens prior to the two week mark?

I was surprised by how many charts on Fertility Friend showed women having sex within a week of miscarrying. Should I assume those weren't D&Cs? Do those who experienced natural miscarriages get told to wait two weeks to prevent infection too?

I'm planning on taking a series of dollar-store HPTs and OPKs so that at least if there's still a BFP line, I would be able to show the doc when it started progressively getting darker. Yes, I can see how some would think that's assuming a lot, but I've always been the one who gets pregnant the first month trying.

Re: Who has ignored the waiting period?

  • I'm starting right when I stop bleeding!
  • You should probably wait for the bleeding to stop, just make sure you are healed. We tried too early last time and it hurt like hell. (I MC naturally)

    My doctor said the reason you should wait for one cycle is to make dating the pregnancy easier. The wait three cycles rule is to make sure you are more emotionally ready to carry another child.
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  • We waited the two weeks after my d&c to be intimate and got pregnant 17 days after d&c before having another period! I hope you get your rainbow baby soon!! I did the OPK and dollar store tests too. Just make sure you have a negative hpt before you start trying again so you know it is a new pregnancy, not remnants of your loss.
  • I had a D&C done two weeks ago and I got intimate a few days back. I never started bleeding after the D&C and I didn't really get cramps. My dr told me to wait until after my cycle but I feel anxious and I already started trying.
  • I was wondering the same thing because my doctor told me to wait 2 months and i told her i'm not and it felt too long. I MC early and naturally so i'm starting to feel better. Good luck and i'm sorry for your loss!

  • My doctor told me to wait two cycles before I start trying again, but she didn't say anything about waiting two weeks to avoid infection. Probably because I had a natural miscarriage. However, we started trying as soon as I stopped bleeding.
  • I'm barely spotting, if that. It finally turned to the brown/old blood from the red today, which is nice.

    I'm hoping with the monitoring dating the next one shouldn't be an issue even if it takes longer to ovulate... $-store HPTs to monitor a clear drop if not to negative, then a possible rise, plus BBT charting, $-store OPKs, and CM... the only thing I'm not going to do this month is monitor CP, not crazy about unnecessary poking. Plus I had a hard enough time getting progesterone as far up as it needed to go. I'm sure DH can be gentle and he's pretty good about when we need to call it quits even if we've already started, like on days when my CP is too low and it's painful (24hrs post-O, usually).

    I'm kinda relieved to see so many who have no issues getting right back to it. Emotionally, I don't feel like I need a break from TTC to mourn, I had a whole month of spotting before the D&C to do that. I think having to abide by some waiting period for the sole convenience of fitting some doc's EDD wheel calculator would just be unnecessarily frustrating. Plus after the traumatic experience of hemorrhaging, I think dealing with even a regular period at this point would stir up unpleasantness. The sooner I can take 9 months off, the better.
  • MawmeeMawmee
    250 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments First Answer
    Me! My doc said no intercourse for six weeks after I delivered my son. It has been one month and that seemed long enough for me. I will admit that I am hoping for spontaneous pregnancy before seeing my RE again to start a new IVF cycle. I really only wanted to wait until bleeding subsided.
  • edited June 2015

    I know it is so tempting, when you look at FF and see that so many people didn't wait. After a loss, the need to get pregnant again can be overwhelming, as can the need to return to intimacy with our partners. However, the advice your doctor gave you is absolutely valid and is designed with one thing in mind. To keep you healthy and fertile.

    The issue with looking at FF data is that you don't get to see how many of those people when on to have uterine infections. The cervix is forced wide open during a D&C and even after you stop bleeding, the cervix may still be partially open. It certainly might not have the normal cervical mucus that prevents bacteria from passing into the uterus. This also goes for non-surgical losses as well, although this kind of complication certainly is more likely after a D&C.

    Remember that your doctor has your best interests at heart and is giving advice based on your individual case and their education, training, and experience in practice. They are not just being arbitrarily or overly-cautious, and they certainly aren't telling you to wait in order to be mean. please listen to your doctor. Unless you are in your 40s, the brutal truth is that waiting the advised time is not going to impact your ability to have the family your imagine for yourself, but not waiting could.

    All advice given based on lengthy personal experience.

    I am not a doctor, I just have a working medical vocabulary.

    Always available to answer questions about loss, infertility, and TRP.


  • Another former-January16er here (hi @Lizzie5831) and I would just echo the caution about ignoring the waiting period, especially after a D&C. I've had, as of today, 4 miscarriages and the D&C I had with the first one took the longest to fully heal from. With natural miscarriages, it seems like everything goes back to normal more quickly, but since they really scrape everything out with the D&C, it generally takes longer to fully heal enough to allow a new pregnancy to grow well. Not to mention the hormones leveling out....I don't think I even ovulated again for at least two cycles. But that's just my advice having experienced miscarriage in several forms. Best of luck to you!
    Married 6/1/13
    BFP #1 7/2013 MMC 9/17/13
    BFP #2 5/2014 MC 6/15/14
    BFP #3 11/13/14 (Found in ER with ruptured cyst) Diagnosed MC 11/15/14
    BFP #4  4/2015 MC 7/1/15
    BFP #5 10/21/15  EDD 7/3/16 Praying for our rainbow! 
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