Birth plan change, difficulty dealing

rrroy13

found out today that I'll be induced in two days due to high bp. We went from wanting a "labor at home as long as possible" and "low intervention" birth process to "kick starting everything with drugs" and "constant fetal monitoring" in the matter of minutes. I'm devastated and having a hard time dealing. I know it is for the best for both me and LO but I can't help feeling caught off guard. Worst of all I feel like I'm letting my DH down; he was so excited about helping me in various labor positions and now we find out that I'll be restricted to the bed for the whole process. I'm sure half of my emotions right now are hormone related but I'm struggling. Anyone else have to change mindset last minute like this and have any suggestions? And yes, I know this part has been discussed at nauseum on other boards but pitocin scares the bajesus out of me and makes me question my strength to do this epidural-free (which was the original intent)

mrs1374a

Yes, it happens. With my first everything was going good, and I needed an emergency c section. Change of plans really quickly. This is why I tell people to have a plan but be open minded because it's not your show, it's the babys. In the end, it doesn't matter, all that matters is the both of you are healthy.

janat1717

The best advice I think I got was that the LO's would constantly be affecting your "plans" FOREVER. 3.5 weeks in and I'm believing it. It seems like each time it gets easier to deal with the changes, although big ones like birth are tough. Good Luck!!

virginiaunicorn11

I wanted med free, but when LO took 16 hours with no end in sight, I took an epidural when they planned for Pitocin. In those 5 minutes, I realized I had two choices: 1) epidural or none. I chose epidural. 2) let the birth be overshadowed by sorrow about the epidural, or focus on my baby and the joy of his arrival. I chose not to give the epidural a second thought, and be thrilled the baby was on a quicker path to exit.

I don't think everyone can make the choice to accept a change of plan so quickly, and that's ok. But I do know that if you can do that, you will feel positive feelings vs. negative. And if your sorrow is about losing control, then how empowering that you can take mental control! Choose to reinsert the joy of the wonder of birth, and the new life you're creating!

courtyowl427

I felt the same way over the weekend. I am 40+5 today with no sign of the baber. I also wanted to labor at home and head to the hospital as late as possible for an intervention free delivery. I had a good cry on Sunday and came to terms that I would most likely have to be induced later this week. I'm heading to my appt this morning with zero expectations and trust that my doc will help me plan the best delivery possible at this point. My advice is to cry, let it go, and know that at the end you'll have your beautiful baby!!

katyertl

I'm sorry your plans changed!
We never had a set birth plan just because of this reason. I never wanted to feel disapoonted or upset that something was gonna change.
Just know that they are trying to do what's best for you and your baby. At the end of it all you'll be so over the moon with seeing your baby it probably won't matter afterwards as much

queequeg09256

I was induced for high bp. I know you said you were also worried about dh, trust me when you and your dh see your baby you won't care about how you got there. I had the constant fetal monitoring too, it sucks but my lo is now over 2 weeks old and trust me her labor not going to any plan is really so unimportant now. I hope this helps.

rpazzaam

Change your perception. Make your goal to have a healthy baby and an experience that engages your husband. There is still plenty for him to do to comfort and help you. Tell the Dr that you want low light, music and a walking epidural if you can. I'm sorry your plans changed but the ultimate goal is to have a healthy baby.

dancegurl1118

My idea of my labor was completely different from the reality, and I'm still having a hard time not being disappointed. The end result though is I have a beautiful child, and I am healthy. I keep reminding myself of this. Chin up, mama. There's a wonderful prize at the end regardless of how they get in your arms.

lwyz

Please try to remember that there is no 'bad' way to deliver, as long as you and your LO are safe. It may not be what you originally saw as the ideal way to give birth, but due to your circumstances, this is now the ideal way as it is more likely to keep yourself and baby safe!

mjschenk

I planned on delivering vaginally and he was so low the doctor said odds were very high I could accomplish that. And also trying to stay home to labor as well(FTM didn't know what I was in for). After him not wanting to come they scheduled my induction for 41 weeks at 8 pm after feeling crappy all day I arrived. The babies heart rate was kinda high so they worked on starting some iv fluids and my first round of antibiotics (strep positive). And then realized I had a slight fever and so between that and the heart rate my doctor decided to come in and when he arrived he said we are gonna break your water and try to move things along and with that put internal monitors. About five minutes later my water was broke he said can you smell that it's an infection we need to get your LO here. If you were and 8 or 9 I would let you labor but at a two that could take to long. So about half hour later my baby was being taken out. And I am dealing ok with it but every time I put on underwear I kinda wanna cry. So glad to be doing well but I am pretty sure no ones plan ever happens perfectly.

enigmaticjj

virginiaunicorn11 acknowledged that not everyone can make a choice to accept change so quickly (not a fan of people who think you can just change how you feel).  I wish I was someone who could, but I know for me it takes awhile to adjust to a change of plans of something so personal and meaningful.  Even when I know in the grand scheme of things it will be fine.  I don't have any solution besides try to take comfort that you're not alone with feeling that way and maybe be able to find hope in all the many experiences shared in this community about sudden changes of plans that still ended in joy.

I'm being induced tomorrow morning (for being close to 2 weeks over due) but had originally wanted to labor at home and have that "surprise" it's happening experience.  That change in plans hasn't really impacted me emotionally (I think...), but what I'm nervous about is my cervix not responding to the drug I'll get tonight to ripen it, and end up with an increased chance of having a C-section after the induction.  My hospital doesn't let you hold the baby right away after a C-section, so I'm afraid of how sad it will be to lay there on a table with my arms strapped down as they take her to get measured, etc and I get closed up.  I've been trying to prep and remind myself that it will all turn out fine, one way or another.  I've also found it comforting reading about all the various birth stories here and how so many people seem to have taken their change in plans positively.

btm013

I do not mean to be insensitive in any way but I can say with certainty that it DOES NOT MATTER. You have one job and that is to deliver a healthy, happy baby. I wanted a natural epidural free delivery and I ended up with Pitocin, an epidural and then a C-section. Do not dwell on what you imagined it would be. Focus on your sweet baby's face and just get through it. You've got this! Good luck

mlindzz

I just delivered on Sunday and was quite anxious about having been passed my EDD and the possibility of being induced too. You certainly aren't alone in your anxiety, although know that when you are in the trenches of it, nothing matters except getting that healthy and happy baby into your arms.

Birth is supernatural and primal and amazing, regardless of what the delivery process looks like. You created and will delivery every ounce of this baby... 100% you, medical intervention or not! Nobody can take that away from you.

Besides, so many woman end up giving birth right before their inductions are scheduled (mine did!). So don't give up on nature taking it course before anthing else happens anyways.

NotISaidtheCat

rrroy13 said:

found out today that I'll be induced in two days due to high bp. We went from wanting a "labor at home as long as possible" and "low intervention" birth process to "kick starting everything with drugs" and "constant fetal monitoring" in the matter of minutes. I'm devastated and having a hard time dealing. I know it is for the best for both me and LO but I can't help feeling caught off guard. Worst of all I feel like I'm letting my DH down; he was so excited about helping me in various labor positions and now we find out that I'll be restricted to the bed for the whole process. I'm sure half of my emotions right now are hormone related but I'm struggling. Anyone else have to change mindset last minute like this and have any suggestions? And yes, I know this part has been discussed at nauseum on other boards but pitocin scares the bajesus out of me and makes me question my strength to do this epidural-free (which was the original intent)

This is exactly what happened with me. I wanted a completely natural, intervention-free labor. I had an appointment one day past my EDD and doctor decided to try a FST...which showed that baby was experiencing some stress. So the plan went from letting my body do its thing to having my membranes stripped with the hopes of going into labor naturally but scheduling an induction first thing the next morning just in case. I did not start labor on my own, and while being monitored before they got the pitocin started baby's heart rate dropped alarmingly a few times. My contractions on the pit were fast and hard, so I ended up getting an epidural to allow me to relax so my labor could progress.

This wasn't the plan I had in mind. I felt some despair at needing to be induced, but the moment I saw his heart rate drop I knew this was the best thing for my baby boy and I didn't give it a second thought. I then felt some disappointment in myself for "giving in" and getting an epidural, but labor progressed much faster after that and I got enough rest to give me the focus and calmness I needed to wrap it up. Sometimes the plans we make aren't the plans that need to be enacted, and the things we want aren't what's best for us. Every time I feel a little sad that things didn't go the way I wanted I look at my son and remind myself of this and all I can feel is happiness that he's here, he's healthy, and our lovely little family is all the better for it.

aliciaspinnet

My LO had the cord around his neck when he was born, which caused his heart rate to drop with every contraction. I'll never forget the terror of watching his heart rate drop on the monitor, praying it would recover each time, or the relief of having him placed screaming on my chest. Everytime I get a twinge from my episiotomy site I remind myself that it allowed him to be born quickly and that because of that he's here safe and whole - it makes me feel pretty grateful for it. Birth can be unpredictable, but once your baby is here you'll realise that ultimately the birth experience doesn't matter as long as they're safe.

saric83

Lurking from May.....I would double-check with your doc/hospital to see why you have to be restricted to the bed (until when/if you get an epidural).  I ended up having to be on pitocin and constant fetal monitoring, and I had to stay in the room once I was on fetal monitoring, but I still had a six-foot range where I could be up and walking around, on the yoga ball, etc.  It wasn't until I caved on the epidural 11 hours later that I got stuck in bed, so hopefully, DH will still be able to help you try different positions.  Either way - good luck!  Your LO will be here soon, and that's all that matters in the end.

CateOfChicago

I had planned to get pregnant the fun way but 6 years of fertility treatments squashed that. I planned natural vaginal deliveries but was forced into csections with both kids (fibroids, prior surgery, etc). None of that matters now. I have my healthy babies and that's all I care about. I think about our poor loss moms who would give anything for a change in birth plan but a healthy baby. I always tell myself it could be worse. Good luck.

amaraujo0521

Why will you be restricted to the bed? Bc of high bp? Or the induction? I was induced for three of my babies and could do everything a mother in natural labor could do...I used the medicine ball, shower, tub, etc...they have monitors that travel with you so I wasn't restricted at all.

jessieR358

amaraujo0521 said:

Why will you be restricted to the bed? Bc of high bp? Or the induction? I was induced for three of my babies and could do everything a mother in natural labor could do...I used the medicine ball, shower, tub, etc...they have monitors that travel with you so I wasn't restricted at all.

So glad to know they have travel monitors. I'll be induced in a couple weeks if he doesn't come and I'm pretty bummed at the thought. I'm trying to stay positive that he can still come on his own!

CanadaMom17

jesshrou said:

Why will you be restricted to the bed? Bc of high bp? Or the induction? I was induced for three of my babies and could do everything a mother in natural labor could do...I used the medicine ball, shower, tub, etc...they have monitors that travel with you so I wasn't restricted at all.

So glad to know they have travel monitors. I'll be induced in a couple weeks if he doesn't come and I'm pretty bummed at the thought. I'm trying to stay positive that he can still come on his own!

Even if your hospital doesn't have the travel monitors (mine couldn't use them because they interfered with the baby security band alarm system, and still hadn't been replaced), you can get off of the monitors for 30 minute intervals every few hours as needed.  And you have a decent range for pacing/bouncing/etc.  I did get to go for a walk, and have a bath.

esampson1983

My plan was to have an all natural birth. However baby boy was breech and decided to come before our final scheduled version. So I had to have a c-section and instead of an epidural they had to knock me out because my platelet count was low. So this was definitely not the plan but in the end everything was fine. My little guy was born healthy and we were able to successfully BF.

I was a bit disappointed to not have a natural birth as planned but the excitement of meeting my LO was much greater than any disappointment.

Good luck!

+Vyxyn+

OP, my situation was exactly like yours - I had figured I would go into labor on my own and labor at home before going to the hospital and having a natural, med-free birth. However, as I went over 41 weeks, they wanted to induce me, and I instantly went from my plan to their plan of inducing me and then starting Pitocin and keeping me on monitors and IV, which was shocking and very upsetting. However, what actually happened was that they put me on Cervadil overnight to start "their plan", then one dose of Cytotec the next day, and that kick-started my own natural labor. As a result of my own labor taking over and exceeding criteria, they couldn't give me any more Cytotec, and there was no need for Pitocin... And I was able to thereafter go through the full labor process med-free without being forced into the Pitocin-Epidural cycle. Baby was born happy and healthy on July 1. So even if your birth plan gets changed along the way, it still may end up being the birth that you were hoping for!